Okay guys, so I updated this story before any of my other stories, so you should be glad! *swipes an escaping tear* And by the way, let's all scream a loud 'Happy Father's Day' to Carlisle for being the kindest vegetarian vampire around!

Excuse Me
Tuesday
Edward

"Edward and Bella, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Emmett, for the last time, would you please shut up?"

Emmett had been repeating the ridiculously childish tune for the past five minutes it had taken to get from last period to the car, and was still singing it. It was a pity our cars were so close to the exit, or I would have done much more than simply yell at Emmett. My Volvo had moved out from the repair shop and was back at home with me, though the interior still had that fish oil smell that no amount of airing could get rid of.

Rosalie smiled. "I think it's cute," she told Emmett.

"You must be insane," I muttered, clicking on my keyless remote. The car beeped comfortingly. Ah, yes. I loved that car like a mother loved her baby.

Emmett made kissing noises as I entered the car. I slammed the door.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" I cooed, touching the handle.

"You're nuts, you know that?" Alice asked, already plopped down next to Jasper, who was fondling her spiky hair. How she got into my car, I have no idea. She just better not have destroyed anything in her quest to get in.

"Yeah? I don't see you having any problem loving that Porsche the neighbours got," I retorted, starting the car. Alice sniffed and snuggled into Jasper's chest.

"Hey, man, don't you think spending a hundred grand on a girl is a little too much?" Jasper asked, now smothering Alice with kisses all over her face and neck. I took one look at them in the rear view mirror and gagged.

"Guys! Not in my car!" I wailed. Alice snickered and straightened up, adjusting her shirt. I swallowed back bile.

"Oh, and Jasper, you're the one that spent fifteen thousand on Alice. That's a bit hypocritical," I pointed out. Jasper thought for a moment and conceded defeat.

"I just don't want to be around when Carlisle finds out," Jasper said. I shrugged.

"I'll just say I spent only a few hundred."

Jasper raised one eyebrow sceptically. "Like he'll believe that?"

Probably not, I thought to myself, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Then I slammed one hand on the horn as Rosalie cut into my path, turning to smile at me triumphantly, and horned another time as Emmett came swerving in his monster Jeep, grinning like a maniac at me. Honestly, those two were beyond words.

Then I turned onto the driveway. We must've looked quite a procession, with Rosalie's ostentatious red M3 leading and Emmett's conspicuous Jeep right behind belching smoke. I caught a flash of rusty red to my left and turned to peer through the thick shroud of giant ferns. Honestly, why Esme insisted on keeping this driveway was beyond me. Anybody could get lost in here.

I rolled down the window slightly to see better through the heavily tinted windows, earning loud protests from the Cupids at the back at the stinging rain that swept through the car from that tiny crack. I muttered under my breath, peering through.

Then, to my horror, I saw Isabella Swan grinning and waving at me as though Christmas had come early.

And pathetically, I froze.

"Shit!" I yelled, ten seconds late, and stomped on the brake while yanking the steering wheel, sending the car in a 180 spin Rosalie would be proud of, the tyres squealing their protest and Alice and Jasper screaming their heads off. I saw Bella's ancient truck disappearing somewhere at the mouth of the driveway. I leaned back in my seat, my eyes wide.

Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

"Edward, I always knew you were crazy, but this is nuts!" Alice shrieked. I must've really scared her because Alice isn't scared easily. She was even more of a reckless driver than I was.

"Shit, shit, shit," I whispered. I was screwed. If Bella was at my house...my mind conjured out numerous terrifying scenes that I tried to push away.

"Edward! I don't care what kind of scary ghost you saw in the bushes, but can you get a move on?" Jasper shouted from the back, holding Alice. I realized they hadn't seen Bella's little showcase of happiness. I restarted the engine, which was now sputtering again-great, now I needed to replace it, AGAIN-, and drove the rest of the way home. I parked and was at the house in record speed.

"Edward, my man! What took ya so long?" Emmett hollered from the upstairs window. I ignored his wannabe-gangster moment and stomped inside the house, zeroing on Esme, who was setting muffins on the table. She looked up at me brightly.

"Muffins? I've got blueberry, chocolate, banana, and of course, the classic, plain with salty caramel," Esme offered, holding up the tray. I felt so sick to my stomach the scent was almost giving me diarrhoea.

"Emmett! Muffins!" I yelled, rewarded with a loud thump and a huge body rushing past me. I kept my eyes focused on Esme. "What was Isabella Swan doing here?" I spat at her. Her eyes widened at my tone.

"Bella," she corrected automatically. Great, now they were on first-name terms. "And Edward, I don't like that tone."

I ignored that. "What did she want?" I demanded, feeling slightly guilty for being so disrespectful.

Esme sighed. "I don't know. Ask your father. And Edward, once you're done, get down here."

Crap. Now I was in for it. I turned and went up the staircase, pleased to get away from Emmett's smug guffaws. I pounded on Carlisle's door, heard his customary 'come in', and stormed in. I got right to the point.

"What in the bloody hell was Bella doing here?" I demanded, not caring I was actually cussing in front of my father. He seemed unfazed by my little outburst.

"Why, can't you guess?" Carlisle asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Excuse me for not being a mind-reader, Carlisle, but some of us do have to go to school," I shot back dryly, changing tactics. Carlisle simply laughed at me. With fathers like him, who needs Emmett?

"You should sit down, Edward," Carlisle said-a statement, not a suggestion. He stretched out from under the desk to nudge the chair slightly. I sat. "Actually, Bella came to inform me of...exuberant spending on your part."

I groaned and slumped back in my chair. Lovely. Bella was a tattletale. I was doomed. This was the end of my existence.

Put in that context, it sounded like a scene from a drama movie, but in reality it was as close to truth as possible. Esme was furious at my attitude towards her, Carlisle was going to kill me for spending his money, and Bella...to put it nicely, once I got within sight of her beautiful head she would be bald.

Okay, I was overstating it. So sue me.

"Edward...I'm going to make this quick. Your stereo is gone, that ridiculous Goth mirror is out, your Volvo is out of bounds for two months and, oh yes, and you have to clean out the garden every Sunday. First session starts today. The next one will be this Saturday and so on and so forth."

"MY VOLVO IS WHAT?!" I screamed, leaping up, that part of his threat finally sinking in. Carlisle started laughing. I wheeled and stormed out.

"Oh, and Edward, don't bother hiding the keys. Esme already has it in a secret place," Carlisle called as the door clicked shut. I rolled up my sleeves and slammed one fist into the wall before stomping off to my baby to bid her adieu. Behind me I heard Jasper and Emmett get called to Carlisle's office. I grunted and went to my shiny car sitting between Emmett's crude, rugged Jeep and Rosalie's flashy red BMW. Jasper's glinting motorcycle sat in the corner. Jasper adored that bike, almost as much as he loved Alice. It was a good thing he couldn't bring it to school, or it would have been stolen by now.

From somewhere behind me I heard Jasper and Emmett scream in protest. In exactly ten seconds both of them dashed into the garage and went over to the motorcycle and the Jeep respectively.

I sighed, putting one cheek on the roof. "And I just got it back," I complained.

"Who ratted us out?" Emmett wailed, cradling the bars on his Jeep. Jasper released a similar animalistic cry, his head on the handlebars and his right arm hugging the throttle.

"Bella Swan," I said bitterly. Emmett's head shot up.

"Your girl? Hoo-whee," Emmett let out a low whistle. "Damn, man, you sure know how to pick them. I mean, sure I picked a feisty girl, but come on. Even Rose wouldn't rat us out on something like that."

"For once...I actually agree with Em," Jasper said, still stroking his bike. "I really can't imagine Alice doing something like that."

I got up from my brief moment with my car and glowered at both of them. "As much as I'm enjoying our budding moment here..." I glared at Emmett in particular, venom dripping from my words, "I have a stinking garden to clean."

Jasper shook his head. "I have to clean this garage," he confessed, sweeping his arm around, gesturing the garage. Emmett looked down sheepishly. Jasper looked at him. "C'mon, Emmett, spill. What do you have to clean?"

"Thmtoigems," he muttered.

"What?" Jasper asked, confused. Emmett simply repeated the unintelligible word, only louder. I blinked at him.

"The toilets! I have to clean each toilet in the house!" Emmett shouted, throwing his arms up. We stared at him. Poor guy. He made my sentence look like bees and honey.

"Well...at least we can put this down on one person," Jasper said, sighing.

"Bella Swan," we all said together.