ok here's the next chap :) thanks for your reviews.

Chapter 20 – I Have To Go Alone

At first Meredith thought the day was having a great start. She woke in Arizona's bed once more and had delicious morning sex, then off to work for an early surgery with Addison.

The morning took a turn though. Four surgeries. Four deaths. And as Izzie had pointed out, there was a superstition that three more would come before midnight. Surgery deaths came in three's and seven's according to the morgue workers.

Bailey was leading all five of her interns to the ER, all of them needed to save a life. She was stoped by Addison, who smiled softly.

"Oh, Dr. Bailey," She handed Miranda a paper cup; "Here you go."

"What's this?"

"Hot cocoa; its a little ritual a friend of mine started when I was an intern, and I've kept it going. Four surgeries, four deaths, I figure we could all use a little good juju."

"And cocoa equals juju how?"

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't question the cocoa." She defended; she noticed George, Meredith and the other interns looking at her oddly, "Carry on."

The group started to move and Addie picked up another paper cup and stepped in front of Meredith, "Thank you for your help this morning." She said handed her the cup,

"Oh." Meredith said slightly awkwardly, "Thank you."

"This is professional juju." Addison clarified,

Meredith nodded, "So you're still-" Addison walked away, "…not talking to me."

Derek walked over to Addie, having witnessed her exchange with Meredith, "You could forgive her." He said,

Addison ignored him and handed him a cup, "Here you go."

"Juju."

"Yep."

"You juju-ed Meredith." He said, "You want to forgive her."

"I only juju-ed Meredith because she is the founder of my cocoa-juju."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing." Said Derek, sipping his hot cocoa, "You should forgive her."

"She crossed a line."

Derek smirked, "Maybe I'm just better then you."

Addie frowned, "What?" Derek smiled and Addison realised, "You think I'm pissed because she's still attracted to you?"

"Attracted is one way to put it." Derek teased,

"Derek that's not the problem, I'm still attracted to you." She paused when she noticed he looked smug, "Not as much as I am to her." She added, not because it was putting him in his place, it was just telling the truth.

"Wait, if this isn't about the break up then why aren't you talking to her?"

"Ask her yourself." Addison walked off, sipping from her own cup,

* * *

Meredith backed into an elevator with her patient next to Cristina who was also with a patient.

"I got hot chocolated." Meredith said, "She hot chocolated me. It's her juju."

"I don't like people who say juju." Cristina commented,

"I say juju." Meredith's patient, Nikki, cut in, but they ignored her,

Cristina's patient, who had OCD started to say 'juju' repeatedly in lots of three's.

"Juju, juju, juju."

"I didn't drink it." Meredith said, "I couldn't, I mean I was the one that invented hot chocolate as her juju. And she's not even talking to me."

"Juju, juju, juju."

"You're not obligated to honour someone else's juju." Nikki told her,

"Juju, juju, juju."

"Thought you were supposed to be the bestest of friends." Cristina mocked,

"Juju, juju, juju."

"I am. We are." Meredith said, "But she walked in on me having sex and moved out."

Cristina smirked, "Who were you doing?"

"Juju, juju, juju."

"It doesn't matter who, Addison's not talking to me. But she gave me juju." Mere paused, "Professional juju. That's a weird thing, right?"

"Juju, juju, juju."

"Maybe." Shrugged Cristina, the elevator doors opened and Meredith and Nikki left.

* * *

Meredith was walking down a corridor, her head down.

"Hi."

She stopped and looked up to see Derek, "Hey."

He grinned, "Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

He smirked, "Well, Addison tells me there is more to this… thing."

Meredith's smiled dropped, "She would be correct."

Derek nodded, "And…?"

"And what?"

"Are you going to tell me?"

Meredith let out a short laugh, "You don't want to know, trust me."

"I do want to know. We're friends, and technically friends tell each other their problems, and give each other the answer, then celebrate the moments of their lives…"

Meredith cut him off, "She walked in on me."

Derek paused and frowned, "Walked in on you?"

"Yes."

"You mean…" He bit his lip, unsure if he could say the sentence he was thinking, images of Meredith writhing in bed, her hand between her legs filled his mind, he hid a blush.

"With another guy, yes."

He snapped out of his fantasy, "Another guy?" His eyebrows raised,

"Not just a guy." Meredith said, "A guy that… Well I guy that's helped me out in that area before."

"So what, an ex boyfriend?"

Meredith winced, "Not exactly."

"Who?"

Meredith bit her lip, but decided to tell him. "Mark."

Derek's whole body stiffened. "Mark?" He practically hissed,

"Yeah," Mere crossed her arms and defended her actions, "I knew him long before I knew you Derek; you don't get to be pissed with me."

Derek swallowed his anger, "Ok."

"You're still my friend." Mere checked,

"Yes. Still friends."

Meredith nodded and they both walked away,

* * *

Meredith stood at a nurse's station finishing a chart before she went home. Nikki had died during surgery.

"Hey." Addison had walked over and she was holding to cups of cocoa

"Hey."

"I'm sorry to hear about your patient." She said, a soft smile on her lips,

"Thank you, Addison."

Addie handed Meredith one of the paper cups then turned and walked to Derek, handing him the second cup.

"Here you go."

"Thank you."

"Hmm." She sighed, "So did she tell you?"

Derek sipped the hot chocolate and handed it back to Addie, "Yeah. Here you go. Thank you."

"And?" Addie asked, she sipped the cocoa then gave it back to him,

"You've already forgiven her Addison." He said, "You're just to proud to realise it." He walked away and Meredith walked over to Addison.

"I'm sorry." She said, "About… well, about Mark." She paused, "And the Derek thing. I'm sorry."

"I know." Addie sighed, "I can't stay mad at you." She took Mere's hot chocolate and drank some making Mere laugh a little,

"Are you going to move back in?" Meredith asked, taking the juju back,

"I don't know." Addie said softly as they walked out of the hospital together, "Are you ready for us?"

Meredith didn't answer straight away, she took a long drink from the cup and sighed, "I really want to be."

"Well then, no." Addie told her, "I'm not going to move back in."

They now stood outside, near the car park, in silence, Meredith trying to catch Addie's eye.

"I love you Addie." Meredith whispered,

"I know Mere." sighed Addison, "I love you too."

"Move back in." Mere insisted, "We can stay innocent, I know we can. I don't like you living in a hotel."

Addison sighed and looked into Meredith eyes, "Ok."

Meredith grinned, and hugged Addie, "Thank you."

Addison hugged back for a moment then pulled away, "That's enough."

"Yeah."

Meredith's cell started to ring; she pulled it out of her pocket and answered,

"Yea?"

"Hey, it's me." Mark's voice filled her ear,

"Hey. You ok?"

"Yea. I just landed in New York; I'm headed to my place now."

"Good." smiled Meredith, "Thanks for calling." She paused, "And, uh, thanks for coming to check on me. And Addie too."

"Is she still upset?"

"A little, I think, but, you know, she's being the bigger person."

Mark smiled into the phone, "Ok then, well, give her my love. I gotta go."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye Mere."

"I'll call you some time ok?"

"Ok, good."

"Bye Mark." Meredith hung up,

"Mark? Meredith, you can't seriously continue to-"

"He just landed in New York Addison, he's gone home." Meredith told her,

Addie sighed, "Thank God."

"He wants me to give you his love."

Addie nodded lightly and they started to walk again,

Meredith couldn't stop the question from flowing off her tongue, "Addison why were you so angry when I slept with Mark?"

Addie looked up sharply, "Meredith…"

"No I'm serious Addie, you ended things, and I get it, I do, and I know you love me but, you were just angry."

Addison nodded, "Because he's Mark, Mere. He's a whore and he's just using you."

"I'm using him."

"He was my friend Meredith, a great, great friend and I used him and broke his life, and I just, I love him, he's my friend. But he's using you and I just… He's my friend and he's touching you and he shouldn't, he shouldn't be the one that gets to hold you and touch you and kiss you and I just- He's my friend, and it just feels like… Like you're me and I'm Derek."

Meredith nodded slowly, "So really, what you're saying is you need to find a slutty intern to sleep with."

Addison laughed, "Maybe I do."

"Well in that case I suggest Alex; he's slutty and relatively hot. He's like a Mark in the making."

Addie smiled, "Thanks Meredith."

Meredith smirked and finished her juju, "You're welcome, Addie."

Review :)
So i really love this chapter, i'm not quite sure why, i just adore it. lol.