A/N: Who's ready to meet Bill?
Alexis: Now we're back to Anime Games.
Mayya: Yeah and we're glad to announce we're married. –The girls show their rings-
Alexis: Sasuke-kun would you hold my things, 'kay? Thanks babe.
Sasuke: So heavy. –Strains-
Alexis: -Pinches Sasuke's cheek- You're doing a great job. –Sends Sasuke away- It is now time for the main event… The Tri-Country Race!
Mayya: Yeah and I'll explain the details…hold on… Inuyasha! –Inuyasha comes out carrying bags-
Inuyasha: Yes? (Panting)
Mayya: Water please.
Inuyasha: -Sighs- Okay.
Alexis: And I want a soda.
Inuyasha: -Glares-
Alexis: Go on puppy. I'm thirsty.
-Inuyasha still does not move-
Mayya: You get ramen if you do. –Inuyasha runs, gets drinks, and comes back in a butler suit-
Inuyasha: Your drinks my ladies.
Alexis: How did you do that Mayya?
Mayya: He like ramen. -Shrugs, hands Inuyasha the ramen, and kisses him-
Announcer: Random time!
Alexis: -Smacks hand to face- Oh no.
??? : Ho-ho-ho!
Crowd: It must be Christmas!
Mayya: Christmas is months away! It basically just passed!
Santa: Santa is here to deliver all presents.
Alexis: Get out fat man.
Santa: What do you want? Have you been a good girl? –Pats Mayya's shoulder-
Mayya: Take it off or I'll break it off fat man.
Santa: I'm putting you on my naughty list.
Alexis: -Grabs plank-
Santa: Ho-ho… (Thud)
Alexis: -Beats Santa mercilessly- Take that Shonen Jump producers! And the makers of the Prius! That is the gayest car! And it's unreliable! –Continues beating Santa-
Santa: Ho. –Smack- Stop –Smack- It! –Smack- That's it! –Santa grabs the plank and breaks it- All you little, ungrateful, snot-nosed punks forget that I'm top dog. I came down here when I could be in my Jacuzzi. But no! One of you…-Points to Mayya and Alexis- had to call me here.
Mayya: -Rolls eyes- I have no idea what you're talking about.
Alexis: Me either. I mean why would we need you to give us presents?
Mayya: I know we get paid than your fat butt makes in two years.
Alexis: And who called you anyway?
Santa: Some guy named Bill.
Mayya: He is goin' down.
Alexis: Down to Chinatown.
Bill: (In trailer on the phone) Sir… sir are you gonna… are you gonna calm down? Look if… if you're not gonna calm down I… You know what? Okay! Okay! I'll take the egg roll AND the low mien. Gosh! You Chinese people are getting more pushy everyday!
-Mayya and Alexis are standing in the doorway-
Bill: -Turns around- Hi… Whatsup?
Alexis: -Glares-
Mayya: Why…the…hell…did…you…send…Santa Clause?!
Bill: Well ya see…
Alexis: Save it!
Bill: Okay. But look everyone is happy to see him.
(View goes to Santa)
Little Boy: And I want a fire truck.
Santa: Okay you're a good boy little Jimmy…
Little Boy: My name is Tommy.
Santa: Of course it is. Next!
-Inuyasha jumps on Santa's knee-
Santa: Ow! What the…
Inuyasha: It's Santa Clause!
Santa: Aren't you a little old to be doing this?!
Inuyasha: -Shakes head- Nooo.
Santa: Well what do you want?
Inuyasha: I want a new sword, a lifetime supply of ramen and ninja food, and I want to end world hunger.
Santa: I don't usually give out stuff like that.
Inuyasha: (In baby voice) –Sniffle- Windscar. –Sniffle- (Like Abyo in Pucca)
Santa: All right. I'll try my best.
Inuyasha: Yay…
Naruto: Get off! My turn! –Pushes Inuyasha off and sits on Santa's knee-
Santa: What do you want little boy?
Naruto: I want to become Hokage! –Grins-
Santa: Look you people are gonna stop asking for stuff I can't give you!
Naruto: -Growls- Kage bunshin no justsu!
-Hundreds of clones appear on Santa's lap-
Santa: So…Heavy…!
(Back to Bill)
Alexis: You see?!
Mayya: How much?
Bill: What are you talking?
Alexis: -Grabs Bill's shirt- How much money was random time?!
Bill: (Under breath) $2,000.00
Alexis: What?! $2,000 are you crazy?!
Bill: But it brought joy.
Mayya: No it brought Alexis to the decision that she's gonna kick your ass!
Bill: Don't hurt me. I'll do anything.
Alexis: You will be our man-slave and cater to our every whim.
Bill: How about I just co-host?!
Alexis: No man-slave sounds better right Mayya? –Turns around and sees Mayya gawking outside. Bill and Alexis go outside-
Bill: What…Oh crap they're here!
Alexis: Oh no!
Mayya: Yep they're here. We are so screwed.
Alexis: Oh the humanity!
Bill: It's the…
All: Producers!
Mayya: Okay let's not panic!
Bill: Yeah ratings are up.
Alexis: Worst case scenario is that they'll be a new kind of unholy pissed at Bill for spending all that money on random time. Then they will kill him. –Bill and Mayya's eyes twitch- What?
Producers: Hello.
Producer 1 and Alexis: Bill I'm gonna kick your ass!
Producer 2 and Mayya: Now. Now, we don't need to resort to ass kicking!
Producer 3 and Bill: Maybe we shouldn't kick Bill's ass. Maybe we should reason.
Producer 1: You are not getting out of this Bill!
Producer 3: You realize this is coming out of your paychecks don't you?
Alexis: -Grabs wooden plank and take a swing at producers-
Mayya: -Holds Alexis back- No Alexis we could lose our jobs!
Alexis: Lemme at 'em! Grrr!
Mayya: Where the hell are you getting these things?!
Alexis: Loofy.
Bill: Don't you think he'll be pissed if he finds out you're taking apart his ship?
Alexis: You stay out of this!
Bill: Was just trying to help.
Producer 1: Okay this can just come out of Bill's check.
Bill: Why?!
Producer 2: He can just make up for it by co-hosting.
Alexis: -Jumps on Producer- Man-slave! (Creepy whisper) Man-slave.
Mayya: Alexis get off the nice man. –Pulls her off-
Bill: I guess I'll move my stuff into the other trailer.
Alexis: You can't stay here! He can't stay here!
Producer 3: Yes he can.
Producers: Good day. –Disappear into mist-
Alexis: -Jumps into mist- Get back here! Cowards!
Mayya: They're in a better place! In a condo in Puerto Rico.
Alexis: -Looks at Bill- Back to you! Get over here you foul loathsome evil little cockroach! –Alexis takes wooden plank and beats Bill mercilessly-
Mayya: Alexis…Alexis…Alexis…ALEXIS!
Alexis: -Stops- What?!
Mayya: Stop!
Alexis: Why?!
Mayya: That's not Bill.
Alexis: -Picks up manikin that looks like Bill- Son of a bitch!
Mayya: -Sees Bill sneaking away-
Alexis: I got him! –Picks up rock and pitches it at Bill- Yeah!
Bill: Owww!
Mayya: You and your rocks. –Helps Bill up-
Bill: Thanks.
Mayya: Alexis, he has to co-host or else he loses his job.
Bill: Right. Thank you!
Mayya: More importantly you and I will lose our jobs!
Bill: Ri… Hey wait! What do you mean MORE IMPORTANTLY?!
Alexis: Well we are more important than you.
Mayya: We have been hosting longer than you.
Bill: You guys are some Nazis man!
Mayya: Yeah well do I look like I want my vacation house in Costa Rica taken away?
Bill: What vacation house?
Alexis: You weren't supposed to tell him about the vacation house. Now we might lose ours. Wait no we won't, he'll want one. –Grabs plank-
Mayya: Alexis stop!
Alexis: What?!
Bill: P-please don't hurt me!
Alexis: Feh not worth my planks. –Grabs planks and goes to dressing room-
Bill: Phew.
Alexis: I'm back.
Mayya: Good.
Bill: So uh do I get a cool headset and a microphone?
Alexis: Nope.
Bill: Whyyy?!
Alexis: -Grabs Bill by his shirt- Listen pipsqueak I will take you by pipsqueak I will take you by your puny little head and I will throw you in…"The Closet" (Dramatic music)
Mayya: Not with you-know-who!
Alexis: -Takes Bill to the closet and throws him in-
Bill: Ooof.
Smeagol: Eh what the heck? Smeagol can go either way.
Bill: Wait let's make a deal.
Smeagol: What kind of deal?
Bill: -Whispers-
(Back with Mayya and Alexis)
Mayya: You really shouldn't have done that.
Alexis: Why not Miss Goody Two Shoes? What would you suggest?
Mayya: I would suggest letting Sasuke and Inuyasha handle him but he won't do anything that bad will he?
Alexis: IDK he's pretty crafty. And Smeagol is pretty stupid.
Mayya: It better not have anything to do with me!
Bill: Hey girls.
Alexis: Hey… Bill?!
Mayya: This again?!
Alexis: How'd you get out of the closet?! (Dramatic music) Enough with the music!
Bill: I dug a hole?
Alexis: -Grabs metal bat- What'd you do?!
Bill: I promised Smeagol a date.
Both: With who?!
Bill: Alexis?
Alexis: You are so dead! –Chases Bill-
Mayya: Phew. At least it wasn't me.
Bill: And I promised he could marry and have kids with Mayya! –Alexis hits him- Stop! It's making a bruise.
Alexis: We should get back to the games.
Mayya: Yeah we should.
Announcer: Join us next time on Anime Games! For fun and a little rebellion!
Mayya: Dude you need to stop giving stuff away.
Alexis: Where are you announcer bastard?!
Announcer: I'm nowhere. Okay see you next time!
Mayya: Well I guess it is time to go.
Bill: Wait! I don't have a trailer so can I sleep with one of you?
Alexis and Mayya: No! –Throws out pillows and covers-
Alexis: Good night. –Slams door-
Mayya: Don't let Naraku give you a hickey or a bite! –Slams door-
Bill: Aw man! –Lies on ground-
A/n: Isn't Bill HIGH-larious? Wink. Another chapter is done. Thank you to Alexis (a.k.a xxxkonichiwaxxx) and Bill (a.k.a ninjaboitell'em) for being the best co-authors that were the products of sugar, spice and some things nice. And chemical F for funny. Thank you to the creators of all these characters. We don't own the characters we just fan people over them.