Harsh Reality


I hadn't cried, at least not yet. I tried to stay strong for Seth and my mom. They were complete wrecks. Mom had been locked up in her room all day, only allowing visitors when I would bother her for a question I had about the funeral arrangements. The wake was at our house tonight, and I tried to keep busy by calling family, friends, and anything else that needed to be taken care of. Seth spent most of his time hovering around me. He liked that I distracted him from the harsh reality. But we both knew that the distractions would end, we'd eventually have to face what was in front of us.

We were in the kitchen. Seth watched me put together small pieces of finger foods for guests who came to mourn with us when there was a knock on the door. Seth looked towards the direction of the sound, suddenly alert, and smiled for the first time since dad died.

"That's Jake." He said eagerly as he jumped off the kitchen counter and hurried to the door.

I frowned. Seth told me about himself and the others. How not too long ago Seth had also become like them – like Jacob and Sam. I hadn't faced any of the others about what had happened to me yesterday. I'm sure they knew, but they'd just decided to put off any confrontations until after the funeral. But I knew Jacob wouldn't say anything. He was a nice kid.

I could hear Seth's excited murmurs from the front of the house as he greeted Billy and Jacob Black. Billy Black wasn't a stranger to the Clearwater house. He was my dad's best friend, and just because he was gone didn't mean he was about to disappear too. He was the first one mom called, and he was the first one to rush to the house to help us with anything we needed.

"Hey." Jacob leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed in front of him.

"Hey Jake." I responded. It had never ceased to amaze me how greatly he had changed since his transformation. He had shot up several inches and had gained a significant amount of muscles. The Jake I knew was skinny and gangly. He used to remind me of Seth, just older. But now he was, as much as I hated to admit it, sort of handsome – for a sixteen year old of course.

"How're you feeling?" He asked sadly.

I laughed derisively, "Too busy to feel anything."

He looked at me sympathetically. "Leah, you can't bottle it all up. You know what happened last time.."

I almost dropped the tray I was balancing on my right hand, "Where's Seth?"

He stood there in silence, obviously not satisfied with my response.

I gave him a face, "Look, if you really want to help; go find Seth for me." I set the tray down on the counter, frustrated, but quickly got a handle on my emotions before that awful thing happened again.

"Sam's asking for you." He said softly, finding his way to a spot beside me.

My throat suddenly felt tight and I found myself strongly resisting the urge to scream. Jacob could tell I wasn't happy that he brought it up, but I figured that If anyone were to talk to me about what would happen next – I'd prefer Jake over Sam any day. "Oh yeah? That's nice." I grunted, re-arranging a small platter of sandwiches around.

"He needs to talk to you about, you know – the process." He pressed on with a surfacing hesitation.

I threw a mini sandwich at the wall in front of me, "How about you tell me about the process."

"You know I can't."

"Why not?!" I demanded, hating how quickly I had managed to lose my temper.

"He's alpha, it's his job."

I threw my hands out in front of me in defeat, exhaling loudly. "I can't…"

Jacob started moving towards me, picking up the disheveled slices of ham and cheese I had thrown.

"I c-can't face him, it's too s-soon." I clenched my hands into fists.

"Leah, you don't have to do anything yet. Just, try to calm down." He placed his firm hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, silently agreeing with him. "Ok."

Jacob and Seth helped me in the kitchen as we put the finishing touches on snacks and drinks. Mom was still upstairs and I wondered if she had even started getting dressed. It was just a quarter til six and there was always the possibility of someone arriving early. Seth was doing better; Jacob had managed to get him to act like a shadow of his old self. I envied him for that, I could never make Seth forget his problems that way. I used to be carefree, just like him; but it had been months since I had ever been able to feel that way. Bitterness and distrust were now hardwired into me, and I'm not sure if it would ever go away.

Sure enough, no more than five minutes later there was a knock on the door. My heart skipped a beat. The reality of the present was beginning to sink in, this was real. It was all really happening. My father's funeral was set to start in less than fifteen minutes. I panicked at the sound of father and funeral in the same sentence. I could feel the sensation of tears beginning to form in my eyes and I wasn't entirely sure if I would be able to hold them back this time. I looked down at my outfit, jeans and a t-shirt. Here I am wondering whether my mom was dressed, when I myself hadn't even done so. I shot a quick glance at Seth and noticed that he was already dressed in a black button down shirt and black slacks. Jacob had something similar on too.

He caught me staring at him and noticed the wet stains on my cheeks. His angular face softened when he looked at me. I felt as if his amber eyes could read straight into my soul and I hated it. "Seth and I will take care of it, you can go upstairs and finish getting ready." He said in concerned tone, but that's when I noticed that he was sad – not just for me, but for his own reasons.

If it were another time I would've asked him what was wrong, but I didn't think I could last a minute longer without crying. So instead, thanked him and rushed past him and Seth, up the rusty staircase and into my room. I could hear a set of male voice downstairs which I quickly recognized to be Quil Atarea and his father. Beneath me a broken floorboard made a creaking sound as I moved across the room to reach my closet. I examined my choices, more than ninety eight percent of my closet was composed of casual clothes. I bit my lip anxiously and let the rest of my tears trickle down my bronzed face.

"Leah." I heard from behind me. I turned around to see my mother's tall figure making it's way towards me. Well, I was wrong – she had remembered to get dressed and the sight of seeing her in all black broke my heart. In her hands she held a black silk dress.

"I knew you wouldn't have anything, so I thought you would want to borrow something of mines." She smiled at me. Her eyes were red, but she was no longer crying. I knew she would eventually find a way to stop by tonight, she would never let herself cry in public.

I laughed dryly. "You read my mind."

She removed the dress from its hanger and handed it to me, gently nudging me towards the bathroom.

A/N: Ahh! Thank you so much for all of your reviews!! Leanora, HadleyConlon, sailor alpha tomboy, Loonynamelass, ari11990, Jada91
You're all amazing (: & thank you for putting my story on alert and/or adding it to your favorites!

Here's chapter 2, i hope you all enjoy it.
Sorry, I know the ending's a bit bland - but it's because the next chapter continues from there.

Please keep your reviews coming! (: