Half of my Heart


I ran out the door behind me, into the dark depths of the woods of La Push. I was a monster, I didn't deserve to live a normal life around normal people. I ran faster than I could have ever done so as a human. The lighting fast speed gave me a sudden rush of adrenaline and I felt my paws seep into the grassy floor beneath me. My thoughts escaped me. The feeling of nothing else present, just the trees and me, was liberating. That is, until I started hearing voices.

"Leah."

I suddenly jerked my head around to see where the voice had come from. There was nothing there.

"Where are you?" Said another voice.

Was I imagining these voices? There wasn't another sign of human life for miles; there wasn't a human soul that was fast enough to catch up to me so quickly.

"You're pretty fast, but we managed."

My senses heightened in fear. Who heard me? Was something reading my thoughts?

"Ding ding ding! You got it!"

"Shut up Embry."

"No you shut up Jacob."

What was happening to me? Why were Embry and Jacob inside my head? I growled in frustration, nothing made sense to me anymore.

"Leah, it's Sam. If you just give me a few minutes, I'll help you understand. Let me help you, please."

It's the last thing I wanted, but I knew that talking to Sam would be the only way to fix this. I felt my anger washing away, knowing that from the last and first time this had happened, I would only become human if I focused on another energy. Sure enough, I started to see less of my silver fur as it transformed into tanned skin and my body suddenly regained its human stance on two legs. I was hit with a sudden rush of emotions and looked down at my naked body in embarrassment. Here I was, alone and naked in the middle of the woods.

I heard leaves rustling from in front of me, and threw myself on the ground, looking for anything to throw over my bare body. When I finally realized there was nothing of use, I drew my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them securely.

A figure emerged from behind an old pine tree and approached me cautiously. Sam was wearing nothing but a pair of ripped jean shorts and I couldn't help but blush. Just because I resented him, it didn't stop him from being anything less than attractive.

"Here, I brought you some clothes to change into." He said softly, approaching me with a set of garments in his hands, as he promised.

"Why is this happening to me?" I said, surprised at my abruptness.

Sam slumped his shoulders, sadness etching his dark features. "I wish….I just wish I could answer you, but I d-don't know."

When he was almost directly in front of me, I felt myself breaking. My mind flooded with memories of us together, how he would take care of me and I would take care of him. How I fit into his arms so perfectly, it was as if they were molded especially for me. Tears pricked at my eyes, they weren't made for me. They were now solely made for Emily. I couldn't stop now, the tears were falling relentlessly and my vision blurred.

I couldn't see Sam's terrified reaction, and a part of me was thankful I didn't, because then the strong pair of arms that warmly enveloped me wouldn't have been as special. Because if I had seen Sam attempt it, I wouldn't have let him. Because I was no longer his to comfort.

"I wish you knew how much I've suffered.." He whispered into my ear. I felt chills travel up and down my spine. My tears slowly subsided, his touch was enough to soothe all of my troubles – nothing mattered as much anymore.

"Y-you hurt m-me Sam." I said into his chest, pressed just above my knees.

His even breathing grew short and quick. "I know."

Something damp landed on my shoulder just as soon as he said that, and for a moment I wondered how my own tears had managed to land so far off – but it was Sam who was crying. I drew my hands up hesitantly and passed my hand through his thick black hair, grabbing a few strands and leaving it there. His body twitched from a choked sob and he inhaled deeply.

"I imprinted on Emily," he began and I immediately regretted saying anything to him in the first place. How could he mention this now, after all of this.

"And she's great..b-but…" he struggled to say and held me closer. My heart fluttered into spasms at the sudden closeness. We were perfect, I wasn't crazy when I said I fit perfectly into him.

"I'll never love her..the way I loved you."

There it was, the word I was dreading to hear all these months. The one word I didn't think I could live through after hearing it said out loud. The word love used in the past tense. I felt like the woods around us had been swallowed into the damp earth, and my house, a few yards away had gone down with them. My world had collapsed all around me.

"Loved." I repeated in a whisper.

He swallowed hard. "I s-still do. I'll never stop loving you Leah."

Hope flashed before me and for a second, I didn't hurt.

"But I can't leave Emily." His voice cracked.

I let my hand fall limply from his hair and crash into the dirt beneath me.

This is something I usually didn't do. Usually, I never let my emotions envelop me to the point that I felt that I had lost control of thinking rationally. I had learned that the hard way not very long ago.

And now, I felt like I was reliving that same moment again. The pain was worse though, this time I felt a gaping hole left open in my chest. Like there was something missing that I would never get back. At that moment, the pain of Sam physically slicing my heart into two would have hurt less. I was allowed the freedom to fight back if that were the case, but I couldn't fight this. And this time, there would be no one to save me from this – from a broken heart.

Sam had been a part of me for so many years, and he had promised to remain a part of me for the rest of them. But I should've expected this, broken promises and charming words. He would go to Emily after this. She would kiss him hello and life would go on; because through it all, they had each other.

After this, I would go home to my house – which had just been full with just that, broken promises and charming words. And I would go to bed, alone, to realize my mother would never be the same, my brother's happiness was forever shattered, and that my father was dead.

And so was Sam.

The End

A/N: First off, thank you to all of my lovely and amazing reviewers: HadleyConlon, Loonynamelass, krazykook, Jada91, Leanora, ari11990, Like-Vines-We-Intertwine

This was a really angsty chapter, which just so happen to be my favorite to write for some strange reason, so I hope you guys enjoyed it!
I'm sorry I took so long to update, but my internet was acting up all week and I finally managed to find it at a time that it felt was convenient to work.

This is what I intend to be the ending of this story, but if you guys are interested in one more chapter - I'm up for it.
Review and let me know (: