A/N: Thank Freya (Oxygen(dot)and(dot)Cucumber) and Brittany (Zombie's Run This Town) for this update. I wrote it in two days thanks to them. The song begins at 'Fuck Miss Brittany Block'.
www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=2S3WtJYgy1Q
The Cullens didn't bother helping Bella adjust to her new school.
She rolled her eyes bitterly and walked into the school alone, clutching her violin case tightly as though it was a life preserver. She ducked into the building, immediately wishing she hadn't worn such a striking colour as all attention turned to her, the new kid. Bella bit her lip and walked to the reception counter, keeping her eyes focused on the ground as she walked.
Bella looked at the receptionist expectantly. It took the middle-aged woman a few minutes to finish adjusting the tight bun she had tied her salt and pepper hair in, and another few minutes to complete scribbling on the notebook in front of her. Bella exhaled sharply, looking at the sign that read 'Mrs Cope' in small bold letters.
"Isabella Swan," she finally said, brusquely spitting out the name. She picked up a stack of papers and roughly shoved it at Bella, who scrambled to catch the papers. "Get your teachers to sign the slip at the end of each class, and return it here once you're done. If you need any help ask any one of the Cullens."
Mrs Cope turned back to scribbling on the notebook, a clear sign of dismissal. Bella retreated hastily, stopping when she was out of the little room and adjusting the papers neatly under her arm. So much for small-town residents and their alleged warmth. So far the only kind person to Bella since she had arrived in Forks was Esme Cullen. Everyone else had simply dismissed her.
Like that was a surprise, Bella thought, scoffing at herself mentally. Of course everyone had dismissed her; she was only Isabella Swan, after all. Nobody ever took a moment to really look at Bella. Even her mother-
Bella shook her head violently. She refused to think of her mother. The bad memories were unwanted and unnecessary. Bella stopped in front of her classroom door and inhaled, gathering her courage to enter.
It'll be okay. It always is.
- - - - - - -
Lunch came around too soon.
Bella was in mostly Advanced Placement classes, and for the most part she enjoyed them. It was certainly a better option than having free periods. Bella only had one free period in her schedule, and she liked that arrangement. It gave her just enough time to practice her violin. Before she knew it, though, it was lunchtime, and Bella had no idea what she was going to do. She definitely knew she wasn't going into the cafeteria.
Gossip was already spreading about the new girl, and most of it seemed to be centered around the fact that Bella was living with Edward Cullen. Apparently Edward was the one for over half the female student population. Bella silently scoffed at them-if only they knew what a prick Edward Cullen was.
As Bella walked slowly to an as yet unknown destination, she overheard pieces of conversation from the surrounding students. She didn't particularly enjoy eavesdropping, but Bella decided it was for a good cause. After all, if rumours were being circulated about Bella, she had a right to at least know of them.
"Living with the Cullens..."
Old news.
"Did you hear about the new music teacher? Apparently she..."
Irrelevant, although Bella was curious about what the new teacher had allegedly done.
"She doesn't talk, I hear..."
Ah, something interesting. Bella slowed her steps, morbidly curious. She chanced a glance at the two girls whispering next to the girls' washrooms, not-so-subtly glancing at Bella every now and then. One was a short brunette dressed in a typical schoolgirl uniform, complete with thigh-high socks; the other was a tall, leggy girl with silver-blonde hair cascading down to her waist. Both were dressed sluttily, and Bella snickered silently at that.
"The teacher didn't even ask her to introduce herself," the brunette whispered. "And you know how teachers usually ask new students to introduce themselves."
Bella had been wondering about that, too. Clearly Madeleine had informed the school that Bella was mute. Bella frowned to think Madeleine had known Bella would be attending school but hadn't bothered to inform her.
"Yeah," the blonde muttered. "I heard a few of the teachers talking about it just now. Relective mutism or something."
Bella repressed the urge to roll her eyes. Selective mutism. Was it that hard to comprehend? Bella briefly wondered if 'relective' was even a word. And besides, she had been diagnosed with progressive mutism after she refused to talk to anybody.
She decided she didn't want to hear anymore of their gossiping, and she quickened her stride, turning the corner. She sagged in relief when she noticed this particular hallway was quieter. Bella slowly walked down the hallway before finding a door at the end. The blinking sign ahead of it said 'Library'.
Bella smiled.
- - - - - -
Fuck Miss Brittany Block and her recitals. Fuck Esme, for wanting her to play. Fuck the school, for hiring the damn teacher in the first place. And most of all, fuck Bella, for even playing the violin.
Bella stood at the side of the auditorium, hugging her violin case to her chest as Miss Block divvyed up the students. Bella was shuffled over to the right side along with the other students who were auditioning for the recital. She considered shoving the violin case at a fellow student and dashing off to the left with students volunteering to be backstage crew, but Bella had an unexplainable urge to please Esme. Bella bit her lower lip and retreated further into the corner, wishing desperately she could phase into the wall and appear on the other side.
Perhaps she wouldn't be picked. That was her only hope for now.
"Swan, Isabella?" Miss Block called in her clear, high-pitched voice.
Bella curled her toes, feeling the tension slowly dissipate into a tight ball of nerves in her stomach as she slowly walked up to Miss Block. The teacher gave her a friendly smile.
"Violin, yes?" she asked. Obviously. "You'll be playing a duet with Angela Weber. Angela?"
Bella exhaled a ragged breath, feeling cold sweat break out across her arms and behind her neck. A girl came up to Bella, holding an almost identical violin case. She held out her hand. "Angela Weber."
Bella slowly reached out to grasp her hand and shake it. Angela didn't seem bothered by Bella's lack of speech, and for that Bella respected her. She stepped back, taking a moment to scrutinize her. Angela seemed nice enough, albeit a little eccentric with her funky glasses and wispy brown hair tied up into bohemian braids.
"Alright. Bella, why don't you start off first. Angela, you join in afterwards." Miss Block seemed too enthusiastic to be sane. Bella gritted her teeth and took out her violin. She closed her eyes, tuning out the quiet buzz of conversation and focusing only on the music, and thought back to the tune that had been floating around in her head for days.
Bella put the bow to the violin and began to play.
Slowly the world around her began to vanish, and Bella was in her own little bubble where only her and her music existed. She vaguely heard another student pick up a microphone and begin to rap into it, but she kept her eyes firmly shut and focused only on one word: sorrow.
Sorrow was deep. Sorrow was far deeper than grief. Grief was sadness at something lost; sorrow was sadness at something never known. Bella had never known her mother, and now she never would. That was sorrow. Sorrow was losing something that had never been yours in the first place. It was unexplainable, and in great quantities it could kill. Sorrow was why people committed suicide. It was why people felt the need to mutilate themselves with razorblades. It wasn't angst, and it wasn't grief like what many people assumed.
Sorrow. A beautiful word, Bella thought. Meaning so many things and yet so little at the same time. It was a primal emotion, ranking right up there along with anger and hate.
Another violin joined in the tune, and Bella snapped open her eyes. She saw Angela, her eyes wide open behind the lime green frames of her glasses. Angela smiled at Bella, her violin playing a completely different tune. Bella tentatively smiled back as they played.
Angela played a high tune, elegant but optimistic. Bella played a tune soft and sad, and together they formed a melody that was both broken and hopeful, Angela lifting Bella up in euphoria while Bella dragged Angela down in sorrow and anger. Bella shut her eyes again, swaying to the music with Angela.
The music raised in a crescendo, and shortly after the music faded. Bella kept her eyes shut for a few more moments, sweaty and exhausted, before opening them slowly, frightened of the reaction.
She certainly wasn't expecting applause.
Bella and Angela shared glances before bowing simultaneously, Bella smiling at Miss Block's beaming face.
Perhaps this arrangement would work out perfectly fine.
- - - - - -
Bella went home with Edward. They were hostile to her on the ride home, especially more than usual. Alice kept throwing her furtive glares, but at least Alice attempted to be secretive about it. Rosalie openly glowered at Bella the whole way back to the house. Emmett and Jasper were quiet for the most part, but Bella simply received an unwelcome vibe off them.
And Edward...Edward was Edward. An arrogant, nosy jerk. Bella swallowed back sudden tears, furious at herself and thankful that she was sitting next to the window. She turned to stare out at the flashing scenery, grateful for an excuse to distract herself. It took her a moment to realize the scenery was passing by too quickly.
Bella swallowed, tightening her grip on her violin case.
The moment they arrived Bella stumbled up to her room, ignoring the sniggers behind her. She burst into her room and flung herself onto the bed, locking the door behind her. Bella immersed herself in the silky sheets and slowly felt herself lose consciousness, drifting off into sleep...
- - - - - -
Brown and green everywhere. A flash of dirty blonde hair tied in a loose ponytail. The faint scream of her mother. Rope bound around her wrists, cutting into the skin. Bella squirmed, trying to free herself from the tight knots.
A faint moan from beside her. Bella didn't turn, fearful of what she might see. The blonde-haired person, darting around her and slamming a fist into the tree, sending green leaves cascading down in flurries.
A louder moan. Bella turned against her will, and choked back a gasp.
"No!"
Edward
Orphan Girl didn't appear at lunch. Edward should have known she wouldn't want to go to lunch on account of the whole new student thing, but he still felt guilty. He frowned as he stomped up to his room, ignoring Esme as he walked up. He shouldn't be feeling guilty, and yet here he was, feeling guilty as sin.
Besides, how could one be as guilty as sin? It was a ridiculous phrase. Sin wasn't guilty. Not as far as Edward was concerned, anyway.
He sighed and went to his room, immediately thinking of the girl next door. Was she playing her violin? Edward bit his lip, deliberating for a moment before giving up and exiting his room, walking over to the bedroom next door. He pressed his ear to the door, listening for a sound, any sound.
All he heard was a soft breathing that filled Edward with a strange sense of foreboding. Edward frowned and pressed his ear closer to the door, hearing a moan. Suddenly frightened, he tried the doorknob. It was locked. He gritted his teeth and rattled the doorknob. He ran to his room, rummaging around his drawer for the master keys as he heard a sudden scream from inside the room. Edward found the key and sprinted back to the room.
His hands fumbled as he tried to slide the key into the lock, compeletely missing the keyhole. He stabbed frantically a few more times before sliding the key in sucessfully, opening the door and bursting in silently. He whirled to face Bella.
She looked terrible.
Bella writhed around in the bed, screaming. Edward locked the door behind him and flung the master key across the room, running over to Bella and pulling the covers off her, trying to desperately untangle her flailing limbs from the sheets. He roughly shook her shoulder. She didn't wake up, and Edward was deperate. He ran to the bathroom, running a towel under the tap before dashing over to Bella, the water droplets flying everywhere. He wiped her sweaty face with the towel, murmuring to her.
"Wake up, Bella, wake up. It's just a nightmare. Shh, come on. Wake up," Edward whispered, crouching next to Bella. He suddenly thought of another day, many years ago, where he had to wake Alice up from a nightmare. When things were better. When his parents didn't ignore him.
He shook the thought away. Right now he had to focus on waking Bella up. "God dammit, Bella, wake up!"
Bella shuddered, and with a gasp, jerked awake. Her eyes flew open, and she focused on Edward, still looking frantic and terrified. Then, with a loud sob, she threw herself at Edward, hugging him tightly. Edward staggered a little, unsure of what to do. He hadn't been hugged by anyone for years.
Slowly Edward lifted his arms and slipped them around Bella, rocking her in a somewhat familiar action, first awkwardly, then more comfortably as her breathing slowed.
Edward didn't understand this urge to protect Bella from whatever ghosts of her past. It was irrational, especially as Edward himself wasn't perfect. He was no knight in shining armor. He was just Edward, but for now, just Edward seemed to be just fine, and Edward was content with that.
- - - - - -
Bella
He had russet skin, and black hair. His name was Jacob Black, and he was one of Renee's many affairs.
A/N: Miss Brittany Block is named after Brittany (duh) and Freya. Just saying.