Here is chapter 12:
Tunes:
*Misery – Good Charlotte*
*Hallelujah – Kate Voegele*
*~Edward~*
"Ugh"! I moaned into the pillow as my alarm clock blared through my eardrums...I moved my hand gradually from underneath the pillow and felt around for the button on top getting angry that I didn't get it first time...Once I found it I put my hand back under the pillow liking the warmth.
"Good morning, Edward" A voice called making me jump, I swished my head around like it was on fire to find Carlisle sitting on my bed.......Shit....Shit....Shit!
"Considering the look on your face, Edward I sense that you weren't expecting me" Dad told me as I groaned internally at the sound of his voice...I was in trouble and I would soon know about it.
"Hi dad" I managed to speak out, my voice hoarse from the night before.
"Don't hi dad to me Edward...I expect you are thinking of an excuse to get out of this one right now Edward and I am here to warn you not to bother" Dad replied his voice getting louder by this time "Get up" he ordered and I exhaled lifting myself up from the pillows...Jesus...Were my arms sore..I would have to take some Tylenol once this was all over. I got to my knees and then twisted my body to face Carlisle sitting on my ass and bringing up my knees.
"Care to explain....Edward? How I heard you coming home after curfew..Drunk and unable to walk so Bella had to help you into bed." My dad demanded and I shrugged...What did he want me to say? I had been caught, simple as that and I couldn't think of a lie right now..I didn't have the energy.
"No" I answered my voice a bit clearer now but not too much.
"You don't even have the courage to explain how you accepted help from a sixteen year old girl who has grown up with her mother being an alcoholic!" Dad whispered emphasising every word....I vaguely remember Bella being with me last night but I couldn't remember anything else...God, Edward what have you done now!
"I don't know....I don't know what you're talking about dad" I answered him and he grunted...My Dad Grunted!
"Of course you don't, Edward...You drank until you lost your memory...I thought better of you, Edward and I can't believe you would put Bella through this...I wanted to keep her away from her past and help her make a fresh start but you have only gone and made it all ten times worse...I hear everything that goes on this house and I am not a fool, do not treat me like one!" Dad explained the anger rising in his face....WTF now Bella was the favourite....No what you did was wrong, Edward...Grrr....Why do I always have to face with two sides of opinions in my head....I am so confused right now, I don't think I can take much more.
"Dad...What do you want me to say"? I answered him.
"I want you to stay here whilst I take Bella to school....You will clean up and do what you need to do before you go to school yourself, don't even think about offering to pick her up...You, Alice and Emmett are in so much trouble and we will continue this later" Dad said before getting up and storming out of the room...I put my head in my hands and threw myself back on the pillows.
This was going to be a long day!
*~Bella~*
I woke up earlier than usual out of choice...If Edward was anything like Emmett I would need to put my clothes on before I did my hair this morning....I sat down at the foot of my bed and ran my towel through my hair as I contemplated on the night before. Why did Edward have to drink? I remembered him saying to me that he wasn't going to and I am somewhat upset that he had decided to...I remember my mum being like that...Knowing my name one second and then forgetting me completely the next...I never expected it from Edward though.
An estranged tear escaped my eye as I sat there with my towel in my lap...I just didn't understand I have been around unpredictable people in my life but this was ridiculous...I didn't know whether I could face him again at least not today...Should I let things blow over? I doubt Carlisle and Esme knew about it and I would be tied to another secret...I had tried to not let it bother me but it was uncontrollable...I couldn't get the images of my mother out of my head, I couldn't make them stop.
I loosened my grip on the towel not having the energy to carry on drying it...I put my head in my hands and kept them there, closing my eyes a little to attempt to breathe slowly through my nose and out through my mouth...I didn't even react to the sudden knocking on my door...I kept my face hidden not wanting anyone to see me like this. I heard the door open and close but there was no sound of a voice...Just muffled feet hitting the carpet.
Why was I reacting like this...Bella get a grip it's not like YOU were the one who drank....I can't help it...I forgot how much my mum affected me with her antics...I guess I wanted a new change and I thought I would with the Cullen's....Why do you say that they have been so good to you and this is how you show your thanks....AHHHHH! I can't do this.
I sobbed into my hands as a pair of hands lay on both of my shoulders pulling me towards them...my cheek hit a stone chest and their scent hit my nose immediately...It was Carlisle.
"It's okay Bella...Let it out" Carlisle's voice soothed in my hair as he held me tightly...My nose began to sting due to the impact of my sobs and my vision was blurry...Why did Alice put me in that situation last night? I thought she was going to help me but instead she just left me...I had decided then and there that Alice had left me because she needed to get back to her boyfriend, again something that my mom did sometimes and it made me sick....I didn't understand how you could side against your own flesh and blood...EVER! Mom loved me but sometimes she loved Charlie more and for a while I hated her for it but then later she would come home drunk and apologise and I would be so worried about her that I would forget about myself...I didn't want to do that anymore...I needed someone to talk to.
"Bella, you need to tell me everything about last night" Carlisle said and I nodded into his chest as my sobs began to stop....So I was making a choice, my sister and brother were the ones who decided to leave me to tend to Edward and I didn't want them to get away with that...I have been through too much to slip back under the cracks.
"How did Edward get here?" Carlisle asked me in a comforting voice...He would have caught on that Edward's car wasn't in the driveway...I wondered then whether Alice had come home.
"Alice" I answered him meekly.
"Was she drunk as well, Bella?" Carlisle replied and I tried to remember how Alice was...She definitely wasn't in the same state as Edward but she had definitely drunk alcohol because I smelt it on her.
"She had drunk but I don't think she was..Drunk" I choked out as Carlisle rubbed one of my arms.
"Did Alice drive Edward home?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes...She said that she needed help with him and I walked over and held him up with my weight" I replied taking one of my sleeves and rubbing my nose over it.
"Are you in pain, Bella?" Carlisle asked and I shrugged under his hold.
"A little but I am okay really" I answered....It really wasn't that bad, it would go in a couple of days anyway I had suffered from aching muscles with doing the same to my mother.
"Why did you do it, Bella?" Carlisle asked me just as I was asking myself that same question in my mind...I could have let Alice come in and make a lot of noise and get caught but there was a part of me that wanted to be a good sister to the two of them...Maybe showing them that they could count on me if they were in trouble and it felt okay at the time, I was a little mad at Alice but when I woke up I really thought about it and I know it was stupid now...No matter how Edward was, he could have been hurt really badly and I should have turned away from him...He now owes me twice and I don't want to make a third.
"I just wanted to be a good sister, Carlisle" I choked out as the sobs overtook me again...Carlisle kissed the top of my head and whispered words of comfort to me....I wanted desperately to know what he thought of me...Was he mad at me too?
I brought my head back up and faced him, looking into his eyes for the first time since he had come into my room.
"Are you mad at me, Carlisle?" I asked him...I didn't care if I wanted to keep that question in my head I don't think I could bear him being angry with me.
Carlisle wiped the tears from my face with his thumb "No Bella...I would never be mad at you for doing what you did. I should be thanking you for looking after Edward...It's my other children I am mad at, Bella...Not you...I will talk with them I promise you this won't be happening again" Carlisle said as I nodded.
In my mind I wanted to protest and ask him to not be too mad at them but I didn't have the energy.
"Are you okay with going to school today, Bella...Are you well enough?" Carlisle asked me and I nodded immediately.
"Can I get you anything to make you feel better right now?" I looked away from him to think for a minute.
"Is it okay if I can have some Tylenol...My muscles don't hurt me that badly but I just want to be on the safe side as I will be walking around today" I explained and Carlisle nodded his head getting up from my bed I picked the towel back up from my lap and touched the ends of my hair.
"I will be driving you to school today, Bella" I turned to him and nodded in understanding. "I am also very sorry for this, Bella" He added and I frowned.
"That's okay Carlisle" I replied earning a smile from him...I was confused that he felt he had to apologise for something that Emmett, Alice and Edward were all involved in but I decided to let it go for now.
Carlisle came back after a couple of minutes as I was drying my hair and placed the tablets on my bedside table along with a glass of water..The same way I had done to Edward last night, he smiled at me apologetically and then walked out of the room.
Once my hair was dry – I sat on the end of my bed staring at my makeup back on the chest of drawers opposite me...I could wear it or I could not bother.....Or I could put a little bit on...There's an idea.
Before doing that I reached over on the bedside table and grabbed the glass of water and tablets with my hands...Swallowing both tablets and washing them down putting the half-drunken water back on the table.
I stood up and grabbed the bag and sat back down on the end of my bed putting a dab of foundation on the back of my hand and smoothing it over my face with my fingertip...I then found a 'nude' coloured eyeshadow and stroked that over my eyelids along with a touch of mascara...Waterproof just in case I cry again.
I placed all the makeup back into the bag and put it back on the chest of drawers..I glanced at the clock I had about fifteen minutes to spare before I would go downstairs...I wrapped my hair dryer wire around the nozzle and put it back in my bathroom...I grabbed 'Persuasion' from the bedside table and walked over to the chest of drawers and placed it underneath some clothes before coming back to my bed and making it as best as I could...De-wrinkling out the sheets as I did so.
I grabbed my bag from the corner of the room and walked out of my bedroom...Making my way over to the stairs and walking down them.
I got to the living room and found that it was empty...I then made my way towards the kitchen and found Carlisle standing there by the oven his back to me.
He turned around instantly and my face came face to face with is...He smiled at me as I sat down at the table putting my bag by my feet.
"You look pretty, Bella" Carlisle said and I felt the blush come to my cheeks. "Would you like a drink with your breakfast?" He asked me after a moment.
"Oh Carlisle...You don't have to make me-" I started but he cut me off with his hand.
"It's the least I can do, Bella...Besides I can cook too...Not as well as Esme I might add but I can cook" he explained and I smiled...No one would be able to cook like Esme for the rest of my life...I knew that already she was just too good at it.
Carlisle turned the hob down and walked over to the fridge, opening it and scanning the shelves as I watched on...He faced me with one hand still on the door.
"We have milk, squash or orange juice" he said.
"Milk, please" I said and he nodded taking the carton out of the fridge, closing it and walking over to the glass cabinet and taking out a fresh tumbler and pouring milk into it. He took the glass and placed it in front of me.
"Thank you" I said
"You're welcome" He replied and walked away from me taking the carton and putting it back into the fridge and going back to tend to the eggs. I took a sip of milk and put the glass back down as Carlisle turned to me again.
"Did you want toast, Bella?" Carlisle asked and I shook my head...I never liked the taste of bread...I never had done...I didn't completely dislike it I just didn't like the taste.
"No thank you" I said and he nodded bending over to another cupboard and pulling out a plate...he pulled out a spatula from another drawer near to him on the left and scooped the contents of the pan out onto the plate...Putting the pan into the sink before adding salt and pepper to the food on the plate...He grabbed the plate and walked over to me putting it in front of me...The smell hitting my nostrils instantly and my stomach growled in anticipation.
"Thank you" I said as he smiled and walked back to wash the pan out using a 'brillo' pad of some sort to do this.
I scoffed the eggs down and washed down the rest of the milk...I had forgotten how hungry I was, yet again and I exhaled a few times before standing up plate and glass in hand and walking over to Carlisle, reaching under his arm and putting them in the sink.
"Thank you, Bella" He said as he washed the plate and glass up and the few other things in the sink wiping them and putting them on the draining board, he pulled the plug out the soapy water sucking down the sink in moments...He grabbed a tea towel from the drawer to his right and wiped his hands.
"Are you ready to go, then Bella?" He asked me kindly... turning to me and I nodded...Going over to hitch my bag over my shoulder...He folded up the towel and put it on the draining board and he gestured for me to lead the way into the living room...He grabbed the keys from the hooks behind the door...I had never noticed this before as Alice and Emmett had kept their keys on the end table on the other side.
"Do you need a coat, Bella?" He asked me as he twirled the keys around his index finger.
"No Carlisle...I am fine" I replied as he opened the door and led me out in the driveway.
We climbed into Carlisle's Mercedes and Carlisle turned the key in the ignition and put on his seatbelt in silence, I reached over to mine and strapped myself in as he drove out of the driveway.
"Do you not have work today Carlisle?" I asked him, noticing that he had left his briefcase in the living room as we left.
"I am going in later today, Bella" He answered me and I silenced myself...Contended enough with his answer.
Carlisle pulled up in the car park and stopped to allow me to get out.
"Thank you, Carlisle" I said turning to him.
"I will be picking you up later, Bella" Carlisle said and I nodded grabbing my bag from by my feet and opening the car door climbing out. I waved at Carlisle as he drove off.
I walked into the school and made my way to my locker to start my day.
*~Carlisle~*
I was LIVID..!
No actually that wasn't the right word...Furious is a better word.
After I dropped Bella off at school...I drove home the images of her crying into my chest earlier this morning clouding up my mind...Good god there were times when I had been angry at my children but nothing prepared me for what I was feeling right now...I had told them countless times that they needed to be responsible with alcohol as the affects they have on the human system is critical....The amount of times I have shouted at them to listen to me and they had always assured me that they would make me proud of them by following my instruction and like an idiot I believed them...Every time I believed them and let it go because inside I believed that they were good people and that they would make me proud one day...But right now, they have angered me more than words can fully express and they have also hurt Bella...The one person that they should be looking after in her new environment...They all in turn assured me that they liked her so they didn't have the excuse of doing what they had because they 'don't like her'.
As my brain jumbled around I pulled along the side of the road and slammed the brakes down, huffing as I pulled the handbrake and reached out for my cell phone in the glove compartment...I dialled a number into it and pressed 'call'.
It rang a few times before it was answered
"Hi Dad" Alice chimed into the phone
"Get home now, Alice no excuses" I replied bluntly in no mood to ask her how she was, if she was in the same state as Edward then she wouldn't be feeling too good at all.
"Is something the matter"? She asked me...Her voice concerned.
"You heard me Alice...Home, Now!" I yelled into the phone and flipped it closed.
I flipped the phone open and dialled another number...It rang about six times before someone answered it.
"Hello?" Emmett's husky voice said into my ear
"Emmett, I want you home right now" I said and hung up the phone...I was so angry at the pair of them that I didn't want to indulge in a conversation over the phone.
I put the phone back in the glove compartment and released the handbrake speeding off as fast as I could.
I pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, locking it and storming towards the house...I opened the door with my keys and went into the living room..Not bothering to remove my shoes I walked straight up the stairs to Edward's room.
I threw the door open and found him sitting on the bed in new clothes...He changed! He listened to me...Miracles do happen. I stared him down as he continued to stare at the floor.
"Edward...In my office, now!" I said as I waited for him to get up...He rubbed his face with both his hands before getting up and brushing past me, walking down the stairs.
We both climbed the last flight of stairs as we reached the living room...Alice and Emmett were standing in the middle of the sofas to my left...Edward had walked to the left straight down the hallway to my office as I turned to my right to Alice and Emmett.
"You two follow me" I demanded as they both walked towards me and down the corridor after Edward.
I breathed out slowly before making my way after them....Seeing that they had already entered my office when I got to the door...I stepped in and closed it after me.
I turned to face my desk as Alice, Emmett and Edward were placed around it in certain areas of my office, I walked towards them and looked at the chair behind my desk wanting to sit in it but not wanting to clamber over my paperwork that I put into neat piles around the desk itself. I continued to stand as I looked at Alice, Edward and Emmett in turn.
"Well who is going to explain it all first"? I asked, trying to keep my anger under control.
"I am sorry dad" Alice said meekly.
"Don't give me that Alice, tell me now...Explain your actions to me "Alice flinched at my voice as she kept her head on the floor.
"We all got a little drunk...-"she started
"Understatement of the year" I broke her off "At least have the decency to face me, Alice" Alice looked up at me, tears in her eyes...She knew that she had done wrong.
"I brought Edward home...With the purpose of making sure he got to bed alright and Bella opened the door as I was about to put the key in and I told her that I needed help with Edward...I can't really remember what happened then but I do remember leaving her and making my way back to Jasper's" Alice choked out.
"You left Edward alone with a girl who has grown up with an alcoholic mother, Why the hell did you leave her Alice?!" I yelled unable to rein my anger in as my voice crept up in volume.
"I...Wanted...To...Be....With Jasper" Alice said and I nearly hit the roof.
"YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU LIKED BELLA, ALICE AND THAT YOU WOULD LOOK AFTER HER BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED A SISTER AND YOU WENT AND DID THAT TO HER LAST NIGHT JUST SO YOU COULD BE WITH YOUR BLOODY BOYFRIEND" I shouted at the top of my lungs...Alice bit her lip to stop a sob from breaking out of her body.
I flew my head towards Emmett.
"Where the bloody hell were you when all of this was happening?" I yelled as he exhaled.
"With Rosalie" he answered...I appreciated his honesty....But that didn't condone his behaviour.
"You let your underage brother get drunk" I sated, it wasn't a question...Both Alice and Emmett nodded their heads hung in shame.
"Right...Give me your cell phone Emmett" I said and held my hand out to him.
"What? Dad..Come on" Emmett replied with his hands up in surrender.
"You say one more word Emmett and Rosalie is forever banned from this house and you will be banned from seeing her..I will tie you up if I have to" I said my voice stern..He rubbed his head with his hand and reached in his pocket, pulling out his cell phone and giving it to me.
I reached my hand out to Alice as she whimpered a little before doing the same...Both of their phones now in my hand I put them in my jacket.
"Until you prove your loyalty to me...AND make it up to Bella....Then you will get these back" I spat at them. "Now get out of my sight I can't even look at you...You can explain to your teachers why you are late" I said as they both walked out of the door without another word.
I turned to Edward who looked up slowly at me in return...Tears falling from his face, I put the phones on the desk before standing in the same spot to stare at him.
"What do you want me to say, Edward?" I told him sternly "Poor you...I am sorry that you are hung-over?" I spat.
"I am sorry, Dad" Edward choked out.
"It's not me you should be apologising to, Edward" I replied..."I had hoped that you would grow out of this...I put it down to the fact that you are growing up and that you will soon get over it but as I look at you I believe that you will never grow out of this...You will always have an immaturity about you, Edward and I am sorry for myself that I didn't notice it before...You do what you want with your life that's your choice, Edward but do not drag us all down with you" I said and Edward nodded two new tears falling straight from his face to the floor.
"I have never been more disappointed in you, Edward...Put your cell phone on the table and get out of my sight...Some of us need to get to work to earn money for this family to stay alive" I shot out and went to sit down at my desk...Edward put his phone on my desk and walked out of my office.
I put my head in my hands and breathed in and out as steadily as I could...My children had let me down and now I would have to live with that.
*~Bella~*
The bell rang for lunch as I climbed from my seat in the previous class and made my way towards the cafeteria...People weren't looking at me as much today and I was pleased for it. I entered through the double doors where I had first met Edward...Snapping the memory out of my mind.
"Hey, Bella" Mike greeted me as he came up behind me.
"Hi Mike" I answered with a smile, he smiled back.
"You want to sit with us, today?" He asked and I was about to answer when Alice and Emmett walked past us towards the table their faces soft and solemn....I looked away from them and back at Mike.
"I would like to...If that's okay" I said and he beamed. He led the way towards the table at the centre of the cafeteria and pulled out a seat for me to sit down...Eric smiled at me
"Hey Bella" He greeted me with a wide smile...I smiled back feeling a bit awkward as I was now sitting on the same table as the two girls who had stared at me yesterday.
"What would you like, Bella?" Mike asked me and I opened my mouth again when Eric shot up from his seat.
"No worries, Bella we will get a selection...Come on, Mike" He said as he patted Mike's shoulder and they walked off together having some conversation of their own.
"Sorry about them" I turned to the voice...One of the girls looked back at me with a little smile on her face "they always get excited when new people come here...I'm Angela by the way" she said nodding at me.
"I'm Bella" I replied as I put one of my arms on the table and fiddled with the sleeve of my top.
"How do you like it here so far, Bella?" Angela asked
"It's good...I mean it's still a bit scary as I haven't taken part in all of my subjects yet but I am sure it will wear off"...Stop babbling, Bella.
"I see what you mean...This is Jessica" She gestured towards the other girl who was crunching loudly on a celery stick; she put the stick down and smiled.
"Hello, Bella" She greeted me friendly
"Hi" I answered smiling.
"You seem to have had an effect on those two...It's like being in Kindergarten all over again when the teacher would bring a new toy for the toy box" She said and I smiled although a little confused as Kindergarten in England was where we had to deal with what we had..We never got anything new..Ever, maybe it was different in America.
"I appreciate the kindness" I said and both girls smiled.
"Is there a reason why you are not sitting with your family today, Bella?" Angela asked me as I followed both her and Jessica's gazes to the 'Cullen Table'.
Alice, Emmett and Edward were all looking at me...Their expressions I couldn't pinpoint and before they could mouth anything to me or gesture for me to go over I flipped my head back towards Jessica and Angela.
"I want to meet new people...Besides I see them at home I don't need to see them at school too" I stated and they both nodded.
"Well, you don't have the attitude of a Cullen" Jessica said and I smiled at her...I wasn't a Cullen, I was still a Swan and I was determined to keep it that way from now on.
Mike and Eric came back with a pile of food on a tray; they placed it in the middle of the table before sitting down.
"So Bella, why have you decided to grace us with your presence and not sit on the table with your family?" Eric asked, Angela nudged him in the ribs as she explained that we had already discussed that question he held his hands up to me in surrender.
"Sorry Bella" He said and I giggled "No need to be sorry, Eric" I replied.
"So...Let's see your timetable, Bella...I know that you are in my trigonometry class" Jessica said as I reached into my bag pulling out my timetable and handing it to her...Eric, Angela and Mike all peering down to look as they read I grabbed an apple from the tray and started to nibble on it.
They all finished at different times and Jessica looked up at me from the sheet
"You take English Literature?" She asked me a confused look on her face.
"Yes" I answered
"Why?" She said, confusion on her face
"I like it" I said frankly
"Hands up to you, Bella...I hate English" She said and I smiled.
"I am in your Government and Gym class, Bella" Angela said with a smile.
"I hate gym" I said to her and she shrugged
"You get used to it" She said and I put my focus back on my sleeve.
Jessica had pushed the timetable back to me as they all started to talk about a topic which I didn't know...I looked back behind me at the table again to find that Alice, Emmett and Edward had all disappeared leaving Jasper and Rosalie occupying two seats...They seem to be in deep discussion about something and I turned away from them to look at the clock...I had ten minutes before my next lesson..I reached down for my bag and put it on my lap before facing Jessica, Angela, Eric and Mike.
"I am going to head to class...Thanks for the food" Eric and Mike nodded at me "Is it alright if I sit here tomorrow?" I asked as they all looked at each other in turn.
"Of course, Bella" Angela exclaimed and I beamed at them and got up from the table exiting the cafeteria feeling happier than I had been this morning.
The rest of the day flew by and I walked out into the car park and found Carlisle's car waiting for me...The steam from the warmness of the engine circling the air behind the car. I climbed in and put my bag down fastening my seat belt.
"Hello Bella, did you have a good day?" He asked me
"Yes thank you" I answered...Thankful that he had offered to drive me home as I didn't feel the need to say anything if I didn't want to.
"I am sorry to say that Esme has caught a cold...She has been in bed all day and it came on quite badly about mid-afternoon" He told me and I looked back at him.
"Is she going to be okay?" I asked him.
"Of course, Bella...Esme is a fighter and besides she has had worse before" He said with a comforting smile...His eyes still on the road.
"Is there anything I can do?" I asked..Feeling helpless.
"Thank you, Bella but no...Just bed and fluids for her" Carlisle answered and I looked back out of the window...my mind sending me to different places until we would get home.
As we pulled up in the driveway, Carlisle grabbed my shoulder as he had put on the handbrake...I turned to him both of us still having our seatbelts on.
"Listen, Bella...I spoke to Alice, Emmett and Edward earlier today...Don't be alarmed if they do not speak to you right away they are probably just finding a way to apologise to you...They do that all the time when I am angry with them. Just give them time okay?" He said as I suddenly wondered what he had said to them that would make them unable to talk to me...There was nothing I could do about it so it only seemed best that I would agree.
"Okay, Carlisle thank you" I replied to him grateful that he had told me...We both climbed out of the car and into the house without another word.
Carlisle was right; Alice, Emmett and Edward didn't say anything to me all evening however I had been in my room for the majority of the time and I hadn't been near them to have the opportunity but I had my own homework to complete.
As I finished my homework...I changed into my pyjamas, removed all traces of makeup and climbed into bed...I turned off the light and closed my eyes.
I didn't know how long I had been asleep for...Or hear the door to my room open...I just remember breath on my face...
A pair of lips kissed my cheek tentatively and pulled away, warmness in their wake.
"Good night my darling Bella" Carlisle whispered as I was pulled down into slumber even deeper not knowing what anything else was said or did.
Thanks for reading!
.S. x x