Author's note: Great reviews as always!!! I loved them all! And I'm so glad to see that I had some new reviewers too.
Special thanks to B.Davis, wishinonastar, soundinmymouth3, chad'sheart13, mnm808, othrox, brucas3, jeytonbrucasnaley, TrueLoveDoesNotAlter, Broody-N-Cheery-Forever, Eemah, jr forever and goober396 for always staying so loyal to this story even though I've sucked big time in updating this the last two weeks.
That's also why I thought you all Brucas-fans deserved some calm and niceness for our favorite couple before I suck you all into the drama again, and since this chapter became well over 9000 words, I decided to split it in two… I hope you'll all enjoy.
This chapter goes out to pOoLbEeRtAtToOs for being the best reviewer you could ever wish for and finally making me update. It's titled after a song by Christian Waltz
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CHAPTER 17 – Back For The First Time
The mall is crowded and most people would probably just want to get away from the masses that roams the aisles, but Brooke can't help but smile when walking between the different shops. If shopping was like breathing then she had definitely been deprived of air for far too long. And things couldn't get any better right now. Rachel is on one side of her, talking non-stop about the latest gossip and Lucas is on her other side, his arm loosely draped around her shoulders.
"You know what guys?" she says interrupting Rachel's stream of words. "I love this… maybe it sounds strange but hey… It's the little things, right?"
Lucas, who carries several bags in his other hand, smiles down at her and presses a kiss on her forehead while nodding. "Yeah. But you're okay, right? You're not tired or aching or anything?"
"No Luke, I'm fine. I'm just so happy to be out of the house. No offense but being inside your house for a week kind of drove me insane…"
Rachel giggles. "Of course it did. You're used to living with me now, and I think we can agree that that comes with a little more daily excitement than watching Karen cook or clean…" She nudges Brooke playfully in the side before she continues.
"So mommy… what do you say we go look at some clothes for you that actually fits? I mean, tight jeans are good and all but that…"
She points down towards Brooke's waistline and Brooke totally understands where her former roommate is coming from.
"Shut up Rach!" she says blushing. "I don't know what happened, okay? Suddenly nothing fits me… I mean, before the hospital-stay I could use most of my clothes and now all of a sudden everything's too tight. You should have seen Lucas' look when he saw me naked this morning. It was pure and utter shock, I promise!"
"Hey! It wasn't! I was just a little surprised… It's been a while since I was allowed to roam my hands all over you, you know…"
He looks a little guilty and Brooke laughs, knowing that he probably thinks of what to say right now without putting his foot in his mouth again. And he hadn't really been shocked, it was more herself that had been insecure. Now, when she has had the time to calm down, this morning was kind of sweet.
The water was already running to fill the tub and leaning towards the sink she kissed Lucas with desire. He was a little hesitant, but since the accident that really was nothing new, and she felt like enough time had passed. So before he could start worrying she pulled his big t-shirt over her head, the one she had found on the floor this morning, and took a step back to get out of her sweatpants. Looking back up to kiss him again she saw his face. He was watching her body, now naked if one didn't count her panties, and his eyes were wide.
"Look at you…" he whispered and stroked her belly with his fingertips.
"What?" she said softly, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed. This wasn't his usual 'you're so sexy'-look. Instead he looked kind of surprised.
"You're… I mean, you're getting… kind of… 'round'…"
"Round? What? Are you saying that I look fat?!"
Lucas shook his head quickly but she could already hear her voice going up at the end of the sentence with an irritated pitch. Not giving him any time to answer she picked up his t-shirt again and started to put it back on.
"I'm supposed to be 'round'! For your information I AM pregnant, with your god damn baby if I might add! And if you don't like how I look then maybe you should get out now because it's only going to get worse you know!"
He looked remorseful. "But Brooke, I didn't say that… You look completely beautiful! It's just that I really haven't seen you naked the last two weeks and…"
She shook her head and waved her hand to shut him up. "This is just great Luke! I did that for YOU so that you wouldn't feel like I teased you!! And now… You knocked me up and now you call me fat!?"
Tears were burning in her eyes and in the back of her head she knew that she overreacted but there had just been so much raw emotion yesterday and she needed an out-let. Needed him to somehow reassure her that he would be there no matter what. And when the first tear spilled over on her cheek, Lucas just pulled her to him.
"Baby, listen. I. Love. You. Okay?" He grabbed the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it off her for the second time. "This…" he continued and put his hand over the lower part of her belly, on the now showing little bulge, "…is the most beautiful 'fatness' I've ever seen. I've been longing for this you know… to get to see my baby grow inside of you…"
He squatted in front of her and pressed his lips softly against her belly's soft skin. "it hasn't even been four months Brooke and 'this' is nothing... Whatever you think, I can't wait until you get really 'fat'…"
She closed her eyes and felt herself calm down as he kept kissing her skin. And she had to force herself to still sound a little angry as she said;
"Whatever Broody. I know you're lying if you say that you're looking forward to me being all fat and ugly. And what the hell am I going to wear, huh?"
He chuckled and stood up again. "I'll think of something Pretty girl, okay? Now, just get into the tub…"
She had thrown a second fit when Rachel came over a little while later and she hadn't been able to close her jeans. But Lucas had once again calmed her down and Rachel had come up with some creative idea including a rubber-band between the button and the button-hole. Now she was wearing one of the maternity-tops that she had originally made for Haley to cover up the invention, and still the trousers were uncomfortably tight around her belly.
"I've been covered up in loose PJ's most of the week to try and make this easier on both of us", she says and rolls her eyes towards Rachel who gives her an understanding look saying 'boys are so easily teased'. And Lucas blushes some more.
"Well, if you two are going to be discussing our non-existent lovelife, then I'm going down to the sports-outlet…"
He leans in for a kiss and Brooke meets his lips softly halfway. "Meet me at the food-court in twenty minutes?" he asks before rolling his eyes at Rachel's smirk and Brooke nods.
"Sure boyfriend."
After watching him take off she turns back to Rachel who's actually laughing out loud.
"God Brooke! Lucas is so whipped that it's actually embarrassing. How long has it been since you slept with him? Two weeks?"
Brooke laughs too and slaps Rachel across the arm. "Eleven days if you please! And it's not like I don't want to. But it's all going to change tomorrow. The poor boy won't know what happened to him once I'm done, believe me!" Giggling she puts a hand over her belly. "But back to the subject. I'm serious, I don't know when I started growing like this…"
"Come on Brooke, I was just kidding! It's not that bad. Compared to Haley you still look like a slim-fast model, okay? It's hardly more then a little bulge."
Brooke quirks an eyebrow. "Really? However happy I am to hear you say that, I need to get some really sexy lingerie and get this seducing of Lucas over with before I start looking like the heffa-lump."
She grabs Rachel's hand and pulls her into the nearest store, which happens to be Victoria's Secret. They start locking through the different racks and Brooke laughs. "So far, at least it's just my belly that's growing and I've always pictured myself being all thin and gorgeous with a basketball-like belly when pregnant."
Rachel rolls her eyes and picks out some stuff for herself as well.
"Don't get too cocky there Brooke. You know that this is just the beginning, right? You still have more than five months to get all fat and ugly."
Brooke pouts. "I know… but one can always dream." She holds up a bra in front of her. "But this is the reason to why I'm going to buy some extremely naughty lingerie. I'm probably going to need it to get Lucas to sleep with me" she continues while looking through some black lacy underwear on a rack. "He's proving to be a little over-protective…"
"He is, isn't he! I almost had to kidnap you to get him to let you come here!"
"Yeah, just a smidge… but it's kind of cute if you think about it. Now, let's shop!"
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Lucas strolls down towards the food-court. He's still carrying all of Brooke's shoppingbags and he's smiling. He knows that he should probably pull the plug on her way of spending money soon. They need as much saved up as possible for the baby and for rent at collage, but he doesn't even have a job yet and it is her money. And she has earned this. He has actually even picked up a few things for her himself the latest half hour to make up for his faux pas this morning.
Of course he didn't mean it in a bad way when he said that she was 'round'. He just forgets sometimes how self-conscious his girlfriend can be.
His phone buzzes in his pocket and he picks it up seeing that it's Haley's number on the display.
"Hi Hales."
"Hey Luke. Where are you guys? Nathan and I just drove by your house to see Brooke, but you're obviously not home… Is she okay?"
"She's alright. She was a little shook-up yesterday, after her parents surprise-visit, but today she's good."
Haley sighs. "Yeah she called me and told me about it this morning when you slept. Her father is an ass… I'm glad she's feeling better though."
"Yeah I think she's more than fine actually… I can see her throwing money around her in the Donna Karan-store right now. We're at the mall by the way."
"I got that stupid! We'll head over there too and then maybe we could all have lunch or something… It's been a while since we all hung out."
He sticks the phone between his chin and shoulder and watches Brooke through the glass-window of the store. "Sounds nice Haley, but I should probably tell you that we're here with Rachel."
Laughing, Haley says; "It's okay… I mean, I don't have to befriend her or anything. But she has been a real friend to Brooke lately, I have to give her that. So there has to be some good in the girl right?"
Lucas nods even though Haley can't see him.
"…She actually came up to me last Friday and asked me if I could tutor her…"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, and normally I would have asked her to go screw herself but… well, for Brooke's sake… Brooke wants me to be nice to her."
"That's nice of you Hales."
"Don't sweat. It was Nathan who talked me into it really. After the accident he has sort of had a soft spot for everything 'Brooke'…" She giggles. "But it won't be easy for her though. These pregnancy-hormones are making my tolerance level below zero."
He laughs. "Tell me about it! Brooke almost killed me this morning when I said she was becoming a little 'roundish'."
Haley just gasps into the receiver. "You called Brooke FAT!?! Oh my god Lucas Eugene Scott! You should be glad that she didn't break up with you!"
"I didn't call her fat! I just stated that her belly was getting rounder… Jeez!" He can hear Nathan laughing in the background and he reminds himself to hit Nathan when he sees him. "Just meet us at the Food-court, okay Hales?"
Hanging up he rolls his eyes. "Girls…"
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Nathan pulls the shift into park and laughs as he watches Haley get out of the car. She's just about four and a half months along in her pregnancy but she has already picked up this funny waddling kind of walk.
"Do you have to walk like a duck, honey?" he asks and chuckles as he locks the door with the button on the car-key. She shoots him an ice cold look.
"You do know that you're walking a dangerous road there, don't you husband?"
"What?" he asks innocently, but he has some trouble keeping a straight face. Haley just ignores him and walks towards the elevators that will take them up inside the mall.
"Haley…" he begs, "…it's cute. It's just that it's a little early for waddling, right? I mean Brooke doesn't do it and you're just three weeks further along than she is…"
When she turns to look at him he already knows that he should have kept his mouth closed.
"Well, I'm not as perfect as Brooke, am I?" she scoffs, and Nathan realizes that this is going to be a really long day.
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"Pass me the ketchup will you, sweetheart?" Haley says with an icy tone in her voice and Brooke laughs at Nathan who's rolling his eyes.
"What did you do Nate? Your wife doesn't seem very pleased…"
He shrugs and hands Haley the bottle before shoving some French fries into his mouth. He chews a couple of times and then says; "I'm not saying anything more today. It seems like whatever I say it just comes out wrong…"
They are halfway through lunch and taken aside the fact that Nathan has been unusually quiet, Brooke loves to hang out with all of them. Even with the added strangeness of having Haley and Rachel at the same table.
Lucas is doing a splendid job though, her boyfriend is always handy to have around in awkward situations, and he navigates the sharp reefs of forbidden topics like a true sailor.
She leans over and pulls him in for a kiss before flashing her dimples at him.
"Could you get me an ice-cream sundae with marshmallows baby?" she says with her most sugary voice. "I might as well indulge since I'm getting fat and all…"
Nathan looks up from his now empty plate. "What do you mean B? You're not fat. You look gorgeous!" And Lucas throws out his hands in frustration. "Hey, that's what I've been trying to tell her!"
For a second Brooke wallows in the appreciative looks she's getting from both of the brothers, but then she sees Haley's face and she forces her own facial expression into a more serious one. She knows that Haley has been a little self-conscious of her weight lately and Haley had gained quite a lot. But she was still as beautiful and Brooke wished she could see that.
"I have nothing on Tutor-girl…" she says honestly. "Hales, you're practically glowing, right Rachel?"
And for once the redhead actually does the right thing.
"Yeah, Brooke's right. You really look beautiful."
Haley looks at Rachel as if she is trying to decide whether or not she's making fun of her. But to Brooke's surprise Rachel sticks to her comment and even ads on. "Haley, seriously… Your husband turned me down in favor of you. That can only mean that you're freakin' stunning! Just take my word for it…"
A small smile forms on Haley's face and the awkward moment passes. Reassured that everything is once again fine around the table, Brooke gets up and Lucas gets on his feet in seconds.
"What Brooke? Are you alright?"
"Yes!" she laughs. "Down boy! Just sit down and relax why don't you? I just have to go to the ladies-room… Haley, you want to come with?"
Haley laughs and gets up too. "Sure. My bladder is the size of a pea nowadays."
Brooke gives Rachel a questioning look but the redhead shakes her head no. "I'll just stay here and keep an eye on the boys" she smirks and Haley sighs;
"In some not so strange way that comment actually just makes me more worried…"
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They finally make it back home and Lucas realizes that the 'hour' he had given Brooke at the mall had turned into the whole day. It's fine though, he thinks as he hears Brooke and his mother laughing in the kitchen. Today has been such a good day. If he didn't count the on and off weirdness between Haley and Rachel it had all been pretty much perfect.
He opens the door to their now filled to the brim closet to put all the stuff they bought in there. It's a complete mess with his and Brooke's clothes squeezed inside and he doesn't even want to think about how their closet would look ones they got a place of their own. Brooke's clothes in here were just a small part of her huge selection of jeans, skirts and tops. The rest was still stashed in boxes at Rachel's house. And he doesn't even want to think about all her shoes…
As he moves the bags with the clothes she still hadn't hung, to make room for the bags of baby-clothing, his eyes fall on a shoe-box hidden in the corner. It looks familiar and he reaches in and picks it up. On the lid someone has pasted one of Peyton's drawings, the one were Peyton, Brooke and himself were aiming with guns towards the same blindfolded heart. And without thinking about it he opens the box.
Roaming through the content he feels the memories pouring over him. Of Brooke standing in his room trying to keep her face together;
"Finding that stuff was kind of like evidence, reminding me of what happened… and of how it happened. And I guess my heart just wasn't ready for that…"
And then the day when she left for California;
"But what about Peyton's stuff?"
"Brooke, I keep them as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things…with you. …To remind myself that if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again…"
Brooke must have hidden this box here because he certainly hadn't. He remembers throwing it in the garbage-can out back just shortly after they got back together after that summer. Or had he? Why was she still holding on to these things? Why hadn't she thrown them away?
Frowning he looks through the different items. There are pictures in the box, of the three of them together, some of them ripped into pieces. His bracelet from the hospital-stay after the carcrash is in there. The letter he wrote to Peyton and the letter he wrote to Brooke, accidentally using the same phrase as in Peyton's letter. The mixtape she made him. The Travis-album. Even his puca-shell necklace.
Picking up a newspaper-clip about the shooting, he realizes that she's been putting new things in the box, and cold shivers travel down his spine. The red piece of fabric must be a piece of her bridesmaids dress…
"Oh Brooke…" he sighs to himself and puts the stuff back into the box. "I thought you trusted me now…"
But obviously she doesn't since she hasn't stopped keeping little collectables from every time he had hurt her. And judging from the almost half full box, it's been a lot of times.
"Brooke" he calls and puts the box down on the bed. She answers him happily from the kitchen and suddenly he loses the courage to handle the box beside him. The conversation that would follow would certainly ruin this perfect day. So he picks it up and stores it safely back into the corner were he found it.
"Nothing. I'll be right there…" he shouts as he hears her calling 'what?' again. The trust-issues will have to wait until another day. Instead he goes to join Brooke and his mother and to help out with the cooking and he finds Brooke sitting by the kitchen-counter, cutting some vegetables. As he walks up to her she puts her arms around him.
"What were you saying?" she asks sweetly and fiddles with the hair in the back of his neck. He looks down at her and is instantly sucked into her green eyes.
"Just that I love you…" he answers and kisses her softly. "You know that I do, right?"
Brooke seems to be in a great mood the next morning even though Mondays are usually her least favorite day. Driving to the doctor's office before school, Lucas can't help but smile at her ongoing chatting. He's not really a morning person, at least not anywhere near his energetic girlfriend, and any other morning he would have seriously thought about just asking her to shut up. But not today.
Because this morning her energetic cheeriness works as a thermometer, telling him that she's felling happy and fine. And he himself needs that. All of Brooke's doctor's appointments just makes him crazy nervous.
"…and then tonight I thought we'd just stay in" she chirps. "I know that we've been closed up in the house for a week but we have some serious catching up to do Broody!"
He laughs and the promising look she gives him sends tingles all through his body.
"Sounds perfect…" he murmurs and slowly glides his hand up Brooke's thigh, over the fabric of her tight jeans. "…I can't wait…"
"Lucas…" she pleads, "don't tease! I have a whole day of school ahead of me and you know that I suck at concentrating when I'm horny…"
"Well that's just great" he pouts playfully. "I mean, knowing that you'll go around feeling that way won't really help me concentrate either!"
The nervousness disappears for a while as he thinks of all the empty class-rooms and janitor's closet's available at school, but then they're all of a sudden outside the hospital and he freaks out again. "Too many bad memories from this place", he thinks and shivers as they get out of the car. Even Brooke stops gabbing away and he guesses that she too feels a little stressed.
As they walk in through the entrance he resolutely takes her hand in his and strokes her palm reassuringly with his thumb.
"It'll be okay Pretty girl" he says mostly to himself.
"I know that! Broody."
She laughs but the sound comes out a little awkward and then her phone rings and cuts them off. She lets go of his hand and retrieves the cell phone from her purse. And looking at it she makes a confused face.
"What?" he says curiously and she looks up at him without answering the phone.
"It's Peyton…"
He raises an eyebrow as if to say 'aren't you going to answer it?' but she puts it back into her bag and just says "Hell no…" before walking on over to the elevators.
They are a few minutes early and Lucas gets them both some coffee from the vending-machine in the waitingroom, and just as they sit down on the uncomfortable puke-green plastic chairs a nurse sticks her head out through the door.
"Brooke Davis?"
"Yes."
"The Doctor is ready for you now."
Lucas tightens his grip on Brooke's hand and stands up, pulling Brooke along with him.
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Peyton tries to call Brooke again but this time the call is instantly redirected to Brooke's voice-mail.
"I'm sorry coach Durham", she says and looks up at the old man. "Maybe I'm not the right person to ask, you know? Brooke isn't really taking calls from me right now…"
She's not sure why she's telling Whitey this. Surely his not the least bit interested in hers and Brooke's teenage drama, but he used to listen to her when she needed to talk about her mother.
"She's kind of angry with me…" she continues quietly.
Not that she really blame her for being angry, but ever since Brooke ended up in the hospital two weeks ago, Peyton has had this nagging feeling that she has to do something about their non-existing friendship. She misses her best friend so much and the fear she felt when Brooke was hurt had really made her think about how stupid the fall-out between them really was. But since Brooke had been on bed-rest in Lucas Scott's bed for the entire past week there wasn't so much she could have done about it. It wasn't like she could go over there and talk to her. The Scott/Roe-house was forbidden grounds nowadays since Lucas had told her to stay the hell out of his and Brooke's life. And even if she would have gone there, it wasn't like Brooke would have talked to her anyways, seeing that she didn't even pick up her phone when Peyton called her.
"I want you to understand something Peyton… As far as I'm concerned, this friendship is over! And if we never speak again for the rest of our lives, that would be fine…"
She feels her chest tighten up when remembering Brooke's words but then she's brought back to the real world by Whitey's sigh.
"Well I'm sorry to hear that Peyton. I know that you and Brooke have been friends for a long time… I just don't know what to do. I've called her several times this weekend but she hasn't taken my calls either. I've called Lucas as well but his phone is turned off… I just think it would be better if she heard this from me than from Principal Turner."
"Maybe Rachel or Haley could get a hold of her… I mean, they are her best friends."
She hasn't planned for it, but her tone comes out a little bitter. Even though she knows that it's her own fault that Brooke has cut her out of her life, it still hurts seeing her in school linked to Rachel's arm or at lunch eating with Haley and Nathan. She used to be the one enjoying most of Brooke's attention and company, not them. The funny thing is that when she had Brooke's friendship and loyalty, she hadn't really appreciated it that much. She had been too busy trailing after Brooke's boyfriend…
As of some strange coincidence Rachel comes through the corridor just at that moment and Peyton calls her.
"Rachel! Have you talked to Brooke? Whitey really needs to get a hold of her."
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It's almost like Brooke's been gone from school for a year at least. Everybody swarms around her, and walking the corridor towards her first class she's almost sorry that the doctor said it was okay for her to go back to school. The appointment had been over pretty quickly and after all the tests had come back clear the doctor had just told her to take care of her self and that he would see her again in a couple of weeks.
Right then a huge weight had been lifted of her shoulders. Even with the drama of her parents visit, the fear of her baby eventually not being okay had worried her more then she had shown Lucas. Seeing how stressed he was about the whole thing, she had wanted to stay strong for him. And that was why she hadn't had any time to worry about how it would be to go back to school.
Now Freshmen and juniors that she didn't even know are congratulating her about the baby, and it's not like last month when people kept whispering and pointing behind her back. Now when everybody knows that it's for real they're much more direct, wanting to ask questions about her relationship with Lucas and about the accident at the game against Parkwood.
The squad huddles around her where ever she goes, starved of their captain's guidance and attention and she even has to break up a fight between Bevin and Therese when both of them wanted to sit next to her in Trig-class.
At lunch she complains to Lucas;
"This is much worse than when it became official that Nathan and Haley were having a baby… Can you believe that a junior from the football-team actually tried to put his hands on my belly!?"
But Lucas just laughs and kisses her possessively. "What did you expect Brooke? They haven't seen you since the whole thing 'came out'. You've had time to let it sink in but they haven't. …And you are kind of the queen around here. A trendsetter if you may… I bet the entire female half of this school will come back pregnant next semester, thinking it's the new it-thing."
Brooke hits him over the arm. "Stop joking around Luke!"
"I'm not joking." But he still smiles and when he's smiling that way she can't really be in a bad mood. Lucas' smile is always contagious. She does her best to keep the pouty face up.
"Where the hell are the others by the way? I haven't seen either Haley or Rachel yet… This is my first day back in school. You'd think that they would have missed me, but obviously not…"
"Come on… You saw them both yesterday Brooke. And we probably just missed Nathan and Haley at the doctor's. She had an appointment today as well. Besides, you've had one class so far and none of them are in it. Don't you remember, that's why you've always hated Trig, because none of us were in the same class…"
She rolls her eyes at his last comment. "So not the point Luke. I'd hate Trig regardless… It's just …hateful!"
She leans her body against his chest where they're sitting on the bench and then she spots Haley walking over the schoolyard.
"Hey Brooke!" Her smile is wide as she comes over but in a weird way she doesn't really look happy. "You're back! So I'm guessing the doctor gave you a free pass?"
"Yeah, I'm all fine now. He said to still take it easy and all that, but I don't have to stay at home anymore. We got a printout from the sonogram if you want to see it but Lucas left it in his locker..."
Lucas nods and kisses the top of Brooke's head but Haley still looks a little funny and Brooke realizes.
"How did your own appointment go?" she asks and a the half-frown on Haley's face deepens.
"Actually, can I talk to you for a second Brooke? I kind of need a little girl-talk…"
"Sure." She kisses Lucas and walks with Haley over to a table further away by the trees. "What's up tutor-mom? You look a little greenish in the face…"
Haley swallows loudly and looks into the ground. "This is just bad on so many levels Brooke…" she says with a clenched jaw. "How the hell am I supposed to tell him this…"
"You're making me worried now Haley… And tell who what?"
"Well, Nathan couldn't come with me to the doctor today because he had a math-exam and I got some unexpected news… and I mean, we're hardly making ends meet economically as it is… and Karen needs me at the café and now I won't be able to…"
Feeling confused Brooke interrupts her impatiently. "Just spill Haley! What happened?"
"Me and Nathan are having twins…"
Brooke feels her jaw fall to the ground. So that's why Haley was so big…
"Oh my god" she whispers. "Haley, that's amazing!"
But then Haley starts to cry.
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Author's note: Feeling like I left a few loose ends hanging? Lol, Yeah, well I meant to. As I said, the chapter became WAY to long and I had to make it into two. But next half will be up the day after tomorrow.
I'd love some reviews of course. :)