The Cullens are at it Again! Chapter 11: Fast n Furious, a twilight fanfic

Nessie POV

Here I was in Driver's Ed with my mom, dad and favorite aunt. The company couldn't get much better, with the exception of a missing Jake. The only problem was that we were in high school…again. I still don't understand why we had to go to school. It just doesn't make sense why we couldn't just skip a few years and start our lives, or better yet, go to college. College would be so much better than 'purgatory' as everyone else referred to it; besides, college is where all of the good parties are. I know Alice can throw a good party, but other than that, all of the good ones were in college. Sometimes I really wish that alcohol had the effect on the rest of my family as it did on Jake and me. It would be so much more fun, lest I say more imaginative. I could hardly say what would happen if Emmett were to get drunk—it would be hilarious. Not to mention Rose, although that would probably turn slutty… and real fast. Ewww and Mom and Dad were already all over each other as it was; if they were drunk I'd only imagine it would be worse. God, it would be bad if I walked in on that shit.

I was forced to come back to reality when the stupid teacher was ordering directions my way, but I could have cared less. I knew I had this covered, it might as well be added to my bird course list for the year. Driver's Ed again—urgh, kill me now! It was pointless to take this class when I can drive better than anyone else in this room, with the exception of three. But they don't count; they'd been doing this for too long, and they had unparalleled senses—Jake often called them cheaters. Even with all of my experience, they still insist that I have to have this wretched class. Sometimes trying to blend in as a human is really a big pain in the A double S.

Finally, the before mentioned stupid teacher decided that he is going to just let us drive. I wonder how he would like it if I just peeled out in the parking lot, tires squealing, back end fishtailing as I took the corner.

"Nessie, just be careful, whatever you decide to do. I know you want to have fun; but, it is important that we don't blow our cover. Beyond that, I don't care what you do," my dad instructed in a hushed whisper that was below the human hearing capability, even in this small classroom.

"Seriously, you aren't going to yell at me if I decide to give our dear old drive instructor some lessons he will never forget?!" I questioned, not believing a word of it. My dad was known for the over dramatics.

"Nope, he really won't," Alice chimed in, laughing the whole time. "In fact, I think this is going to one interesting ride."

"Will you all please split up into groups of four or less? Each of you will get a turn behind the wheel, but in order to maximize your driving time, it is better to have as large of groups as we can. Three people can fit into the back seat with one driver, while I, of course, will have the front passenger seat," Mr. Day informed.

Duh! That would be easy to decide who I was partnered with; any of these humans would pee their pants if they got into the car with me or my dad, for that matter. Not that we were bad drivers, on the contrary, we just liked to drive fast. My mother always said we drove like stunt drivers, hitting the e-brake just to get the prime parking spot against the curb in no time flat.

Brain power wouldn't have told you that we were going to turn down all of the advances from the other students and stick with our own kind. One of the girls was getting kind of handsy running her hand down Dad's chest and arms, I couldn't help but snicker when Mom glared and kindly wrapped her arms around him clutching him to her.

It couldn't be anymore obvious that we were all matched up. I don't know why these idiots were even trying; it wasn't like we were going to break up to date some stupid low life here. I mean, we were gorgeous. I know it sounds conceited, but sometimes you just gotta face the truth, why the hell would we go for an average looking human?

Slowly but surely, we waited as everyone took their turns, while all of us students that were left behind talked quietly amongst ourselves. Mom and dad were too busy cuddling to really interact, and Alice was scoping out the future. So I just sat there idly by watching all of my classmates joke around and play stupid games like paper football. What the hell was the point? So you flick a stupid football through a fake goal post, OMG you're so talented now you deserve a Pulitzer!

When it was our turn, we all piled into the old outdated Buick LeSaber that looked as though it had been driven by too many student drivers. The bumper was hanging on by duct tape, and the car was dented and scratched to hell. Of course I got to drive first, not that I would have allowed it any other way. I was a daddy's girl and got whatever my little heart desired. I looked back in the rearview and saw my dad wink at me from the back seat. This should be fun, let's see just how fast I can get the instructor to flip out on me. When everyone was in the car and had their seatbelts on, I checked my mirrors (knowing that this was all a show), adjusted my seat, and put the car in reverse, but with my foot still at home on the brake.

"So where to?" I asked.

"I think that after you have maneuvered out of the parking lot, you can go take a stroll wherever you would like. I will give you each about seven minutes of drive time. In this time, I will be looking for signaling, eye contact, and some other things that are necessary to be a good driver. So whenever you are ready, you may proceed." Mr. Day let me know.

That was all the invitation that I needed. I let my foot off the brake and floored it, sending Mr. Day forward and causing him to grip onto the armrest. When I had cleared the rest of the cars around us, I immediately shifted it to drive and out of the parking lot we went. I could see the instructor's eyes widen with the speed that I was gaining. God, this might be better than I had imagined.

I had reached fifty-two miles per hour before I had hit the exit of the parking lot. I gripped the e-brake and pulled as I took the sharp turn out of the parking lot, causing the back end of the car to drift around the corner to make my turn easier.

"Ohhh God please don't let me die!" Mr. Day mumbled under his breath, followed by a prayer and the placement of a cross on his forehead and over his heart. No human would have heard him, but we, those of us with extra sensitive hearing, heard every word, every shuttered breath that was taken in fear, and every panicked heartbeat.

"Hail Mary mother of God, oh shit! We're all gonna die!" Alice cried from the back seat, while winking at me from the rearview mirror.

I knew that she was just trying to rile up the instructor, so I decided to play along.

"Relax, I know what I'm doing! My dad, who by the way is an awesome stunt driver, taught me the most awesomest tricks, you guys gotta see 'em!" I answered looking back at them in the back seat.

"Ness, I don't know if right now is the time to be… holy shit girl watch the road!" my dad cried while gripping the seat in front of him.

Seriously Dad, calm down, you have taught me well. You should know better than anyone that I am not going to cause a wreck.

His response to my thought was just a wink. I realized that he didn't really think that I would wreck so much so as I think he didn't want to leave any doubt in the teacher's mind that we were other than human. Knowing that I wouldn't give anything away, I floored the gas pedal, increasing our speed.

Not a minute later and I could see the entrance to the highway. Knowing that I could pick up even more speed once I was there, I decided that was my new found destination.

I took the turn at sixty-eight miles per hour and entered the highway. When I reached traffic, I was going nearly a hundred and four. Mr. Day was clutching onto the arm rest and the 'oh shit handle' yelling at me, pleading with me, to slow down; unfortunately for him, that was not on my agenda. I was going to see how fast this old piece of junk could move, and I was going to do it now! Dad was nearly shaking with badly contained laughter along with Ali; mom on the other hand, could no longer contain it and was actually laughing out loud and hard. I was doing my best not to laugh or even crack a smile, as I didn't want to make the teach hate me anymore, but at the same time I didn't want to have to go through this class.

As I drove down the highway at a slow pace of one-twenty-one, I couldn't help but think about all the times that we had done this prior, although in much nicer vehicles. Oh how I wished this was my M-8 that Auntie Rose has so nicely fixed up for me. I could easily do two hundred miles per hour, which was so much more of a rush than being here in this hunk of junk.

"Alright Ness, it's my turn to drive," Alice decided giggling like a small school child.

So instead of letting me pull over, she just crawled into the front seat and plopped down beside me.

"Ohhh my god you can't just climb around in the car. Please sit down before you get us all killed for sure!" Mr. Day exclaimed.

As Ali slid towards me, she took the wheel from me, although I kept my feet on the pedals. We continued to drive like this for a couple of miles. Until she finally started whining.

"Seriously Ness, you've had your seven minutes, now share like I know your mother taught you to do!" Alice whimpered.

"Who do you think you're talking to? Don't talk about my mama like that!" I cursed back.

"I'll talk about your mama any blasted way I fucking want to!" Alice answered, trying to hide her smile when Mom looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Besides, your mama ain't anything special just some little toy that your dad thought was amusing."

"Ewww thanks for that!" I mumbled inaudibly.

"Alice, you should know better than to talk about anyone's mothers, especially since yours obviously dropped you on your head when you were a child!" my dad defended.

"Yeah well she had her seven minutes, now it's my turn. I wanna have my turn. It's not fair that she always gets what she wants just because she is the youngest," Alice complained.

"My god Alice, seriously you can have your turn. Just stop whining like a little baby," I told her.

When Ali was ready to take over, I crawled over her and into the backseat beside mom and dad. The car never swerved an inch, never decreased in speed, never veered or altered course in any way. Mom had nearly composed herself but with one look of the teachers face, she and dad were once again trying to reel themselves in.

Once I was buckled, Alice switched on the radio, turning it to a station that played the latest rock music. And turned the volume up to half way, which was quite loud for normal humans as Buckcherry came across the speakers:

His crazy voice screamed over the radio yelling, "AAALLLLLLLLRRIGHT!" which made Mr. Day jump slightly in his seat.

Break me down, you got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud, getting fuckin' laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make my way

Hey
You're crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

Mr. Day started to reach over to turn the radio off, but was immediately stopped by Alice's tight grip. "I don't think so! What the hell are you doing? Trying to get us killed? You don't ever turn the radio off while I'm driving! That could be cause for a catastrophe," she screamed at him as she slapped his hand away. He just looked at her blankly. I chuckled as his mouth opened and closed several times as if he were trying to find the words to object but Alice's look was deadly and pointed. "You going to tempt me old man? No music means horrible wreck; I won't be able to concentrate."

"Speaking of concentrate, Alice why was the blonde staring at the package of juice?" I asked. I knew they had all heard it before, but I was trying to get under the teachers skin.

"Why Ness?" Alice asked.

"Because it said concentrate!" She couldn't help but to laugh at my wide eyes and wild expression. Mom and Dad joined us in our laughing, knowing full well what we were trying to achieve.

As Alice continued to drive down the highway, well over a hundred miles an hour, swerving in and out of traffic, she spotted a truck and trailer off the side of the road. The driver was just getting out of the truck and walking towards the back of the trailer. Three seconds later and he was lowering the tailgate and walking up it. I saw the devilish look on Alice's face as she attempted to speed up, she was only able to gain about seven more mph but it was enough to have the already distraught teacher once again verbally freaking out as she was now only forty feet from the before said trailer.

When we reached ten feet away she swerved to the right, headed directly for the back of the trailer.

"Ohhh my fucking god! We're all gonna die! Please don't let me die, please don't let me die, please don't let me die," Mr. Day was pleading.

But at that moment the car hit the trailer at full force, the man standing on the trailer ducked down with a seriously alarmed expression on his face. As we hit the trailer, the front end of the car was forced upward as the car continued up the trailer gate, which made like a ramp.

The front end of the car was propelled into the air as the back end continued to push us further up the gate. A second later and we were completely air born, nearly six feet in the air.

"Nice…" I complimented Alice on her mad driving abilities. I had no idea she had this in her. I seriously had the coolest aunt in the entire world.

"Waaaahoooooo" Alice screamed at the top of her lungs.

As the car slammed into the ground probably knocking some more parts loose, she once again put her foot on the gas pedal and sped away, as if nothing had ever happened.

"If I couldn't read your mind right now Alice, I would have already ripped you from the front seat. I still can't believe you did that without knowing first," dad chastised.

"Ohhh lay off. You enjoyed that just as much as the rest of us did," Alice groaned.

"Be that as it may, this is still my daughter that we are talking about," Dad informed.

"What ever worry wart, she's immortal!"

"You don't know that for sure!" Dad answered.

"She's as good as immortal!"

"We are not having this conversation!" Mom mediated.

"What's the deal? He can't hear us," Alice questioned.

"I don't care if he can't hear us, this is still a conversation that I really don't want to have. I don't want to be put in a situation where I might have to turn my daughter into a full vamp," mom silently screamed.

"Okay, Okay point taken, change of subject then," Alice interjected, but then increased her voice so that Mr. Day could probably now hear. "So I was thinking that we should really go shopping this weekend at Short Hills mall."

"Oh please tell me I don't have to go," Mom begged.

"Oh you will be going, and you will enjoy every minute of it," Alice countered.

"No I won't," Mom refused.

"I hate to break it to you, but seeing as how I know these things, I say that you will go and you will have a good time, regardless of what you say right now."

"Alright Ali, your seven minutes are up. I think Bella should have a turn," I teased.

"Wait, why me?" mom asked.

"Duh M-Bella, ladies first. Isn't that right Edward?" I said while winking at him.

"Ohhh whatever, I don't want to know what you are up to, do I?" Mom mumbled mostly to herself but we all heard her, with the exception of Mr. Day, who I don't think would have heard anything at this point.

"Come on Alice, pull over and we can swap positions." Mom told her.

"No way, have you lost your effing mind? Just crawl your happy ass right up here and you can drive, but there is no way in hell I am pulling this car over," Alice chastised mom.

"Go on, get up there," I told her.

"Oh alright," Mom said as she climbed over the seat and sat next to Alice.

Alice made sure that Mom had a hold of the steering wheel before she crawled over her and into the back seat next to us. All the while, Mr. Day was complaining about how teenagers never listen, are a danger to society, and how he should have never become a teacher.

Mom changed lanes so that she was in the far left hand lane, and started to pick up speed when all of the sudden a car merged in front of her, causing her to have to slow down considerably.

"What the fuck is that loser doing? Why the fuck is he in my fucking way he's going so fucking slow!" Mom shouted rather bemused. Instantly, Mom rolled down the decrepit window and hung her head out. "Get out of the fucking way you fucking retard! Come back to high school and get some Drivers fucking Ed, will you?" Finally, Mom pulled her head back in and replied to us, "Can you believe that moron? Oh my fucking god no he didn't! Did he just flip me the mother fucking bird! Holy fucking, Jesus Christ!"

With that last comment, Mom was driving up the person's ass, flashing the brights at him and honking the horn.

"Stupid Bitch, eat this." I heard the drive of the car in front of us say.

She immediately slammed on the brakes the moment she saw the car slam on theirs, trying to cause an accident that they could pin on her. The driver obviously didn't anticipate someone with super quick reflexes to be driving.

I was more than relieved that they pulled off before Dad jumped out of the car and took off after them. I'm surprised that he managed to remain that calm after a comment like that.

"Alright Bella I think your seven minutes are up, time to let our final driver have a turn," Mr. Day told her, still gripping his seat tightly on both sides.

"Sure thing," Dad answered, hiding his excitement.

As Mom pulled off the highway and came to a stop at the light, "Chinese fire drill! Everyone out!" she screamed at the top of her lungs before we all got out and ran around the car until we each got into a different door, even climbing over Mr. Day who seemed as if he was not going to move, for fear of possibly dying.

As Dad pulled back onto the road, this Trans Am pulled up next to us at the light and the passenger hollered out the T-top, "Get off the fucking road, you should know that your shit don't sparkle."

"What the fuck is he talking about sparkle? Should it be something more like your shit don't stink?" I mumbled to myself, knowing that these guys were complete morons.

"Why don't you shut the hell up before I give you a reason to shut it," Dad threatened.

"How about you put that mouth of yours to the test?" the driver of the other car challenged.

"Why even bother racing a piece of shit car like that? You know I bet he can't even pull a stunt like that off," the passenger added.

"I bet you're right," the driver stated.

"You just keep thinking that, and we will see how far that gets you. I could beat your asses with my eyes closed," Dad retaliated.

"You talk a lot of shit, but my guess is you are just too much of a fucking chicken to compete with real men. By the looks of it, you seem to be more of a girl than anything," the driver called.

"Oh no, he didn't just seriously say that. We are going to have to do something about that, now aren't we baby?" Mom asked, leaning forward and nuzzling her face into Dad's neck. "Show him that you're the only man in this world," she cooed, making me get the heebies.

Before Dad could do anything, Mom stuck the front half of her body out the open window showing some of the goods in the process and yelled at them, "I'll bet you anything that my man here can beat the sparkles off of you boys, because it takes a real man to drive a muscle car."

"Well hey baby!" the passenger in the Trans Am called. "What you doin with a high schooler, why don't you come play with the big boys?"

"Because you guys are playing big boys in a man's world. Come on what you say you up for a little race?"

"What are the stakes?" he inquired.

"You win, I'll come ride around with you bad boys. My sex god up here wins, you all run away with your tails between your legs," Mom taunted.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing?" Alice asked. "There's no way that this stupid piece of junk could…. Ooooh that's good."

My Dad chuckled loudly in the front seat looking over at the boys in the next car over.

"You guys like what you see?" Dad mocked.

"Yeah, her tits, I'll bet her pussy's nice and tight too!" the driver from the other car called.

Mom had to put her arm around Dad's neck to try to calm him. "I'm with you, and they are never going to touch me," she reassured quietly.

"Bella, get your ass up here," Dad said loudly enough for the guys in the next car to hear.

Obeying the order, Mom went and straddled my Dad's lap. "What?" she whispered silently.

"Pretend like you're distracting me, show them you're mine," he begged, pulling her body closer with one firm hand. Immediately, Mom went to work kissing his neck and dry humping his lap.

Ugh, I was going to be scared for the rest of my existence.

"The stakes just went up boys. Looks like they are going to be having sex while racing you losers," Alice called, sliding over to the driver's side window. "You win, you can have all three of us girls. He wins, you hand over your pinks. Birdsong lane's the destination point. Ready, set, GO!" Alice screamed as the light turned green.

The minute the words were out of her mouth, both drivers floored the pedals causing the car engines to rev. I could hear the whine of the supercharger as they pulled off ahead of us. The guys from the other car were smiling back at us as they crept further away. What they didn't know was that Dad had better driving skills than they did and would be willing to take many more risks than they would ever think of.

I could hear the soft chanted Hale Mary's coming from the driving instructor as he rocked back and forth in his seat with hands crossed praying to the lord above to save him or some shit.

"Would someone please shut him up?" I begged.

The second the words were out of my mouth, Alice reached up and touched the side of his face, a few seconds later and Mr. Day was limp. I knew he wasn't hurt; all she did was use a little pressure to cause him to go unconscious for a little while. He would be just fine in a few minutes. But at least this way, I wouldn't have to hear him bicker and whine anymore.

They reached the highway about two seconds before we did, merging into the traffic. As they entered, they seemed to slow just a bit while we never slowed at all. Dad just swerved in and out of the cars with ease. It only took eight seconds before we were ahead of the so called 'men' in the black TA.

I had to admit it was a very nice looking car, and from the sound of the engine, I could tell that it had been nicely put together. They could have easily beat us had they have had a decent driver, but therein lies the trouble with most races, it's not so much about the car as it is the person behind the wheel. And I have yet to meet anyone who could out drive my dad, especially not in a fair race.

Dad continued to drive flawlessly, even as he ducked in and out of traffic, weaving a near perfect route though each of the vehicles, all the while Mom was kissing his neck and running her hands down his chest. I tried as hard as possible to look out the side windows, but the passing scenery only made me sick.

"I swear to god, I'm going to kill those motherfuckers…" was the only thing that came out of my dad's mouth as he quickly merged the car into the lane next to us, which sent the TA into the shoulder of the highway.

"What?" mom questioned, looking up at him.

"He's thinking about how you taste and how you will feel," Dad groaned, his hands growing tighter around the steering wheel.

"Don't worry, he won't ever…"

"Doesn't matter, they are thinking it!" he replied through clenched teeth.

"Edward," my mother warned his tone. "I am yours, and only yours, and don't you dare…."

"I know, I know," he interrupted. "I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to talk to you like that."

"Drive him off the road, Edward!"Alice screeched, "Push him into the mother fucking median. Just do it, no one will get hurt. Show that pansy boy who he's messing with!"

Doing as he was told, my dad instantly swerved to the left and shoved the Trans Am off of the road, causing it to flip onto ground.

Dad listened intently to see if they were still conscious, and Alice scanned her visions to see if they would be alright.

"They will be perfectly fine, not even any scratches on them, and the police will be here in four minutes; let's just go back to school." Alice told the rest of us.

And with that, we turned around and headed back to the school.