Ciao Beebies :D
JigsawRose is BACK...I KNOW I said I would update before going back to the world of acting....!! I am sorry I kind of fell asleep on my laptop last night...Note to self: Need MORE sleep!!
Thank YOU to 'Raven jadewolfe', 'Cullengirl08', 'iambwrighter' and 'ajayee' for your thoughts on last chapter.....
This is where things to begin to change officially in 'AML' so as much as it won't be ALL about E/B this is now the beginning of the spinning wheel if that's the best way to put it :D.
A little note to 'Rawwwr' who is slowly turning into the MOST avid R+Rer :D...This chapter is dedicated to YOU because I know how much you need it and PLEASE don't be disappointed about how it turns out in the end...As I have said before I know what I am doing.
Also to 'wendilili' – Thank you for telling me your thoughts...I LOVE stories where ANY couple take it slow...I am still a romantic and as much as I desire to meet someone and instantly fall in love with them and vice-versa I know that kind of thing only exists in books.
Songs: *Jimmy Eat World – Awake*
*Moldy Peaches – Anyone else but you*
* Trembling blue stars – All eternal things*
Here it is.....
LOTS OF LOVE....!!
*~Carlisle~*
I hadn't slept a wink last night with worrying about Bella...Esme had rung me at work yesterday afternoon to inform me that Bella had been sick at school...Edward had explained to the receptionist about her condition...One thing I was certain about my son was that he was a very good persuader and usually people (especially women) would fall at his feet in his favour...Women of ANY age and I often found myself wondering where he got it from as I am not his father he must have got it from his own parents' genetics...Extraordinary things they were and came in extremely handy.
I kissed Esme softly on the lips giving her a good morning...She whimpered and leaned in at my touch but did not attempt to open her eyes...I climbed out of bed and put on my dressing gown and went to see how Bella was today...She had been sick twice yesterday after Edward had informed me of the one at school Esme had told me about the second time...Now Bella had emptied all the contents of her system and so we were inclined to leave just a bottle of water beside her bed in case her sickness was an occurrence...It looked like a bug of some sort and I prayed internally that it was just something that lasted twenty four hours.
I was very careful as I descended down the stairs to Bella's room not to wake any of my other children...I got to the second floor and put my ear up against Edward's door....His snores usually woke the dead but I could hear nothing today...I thought nothing of it as Edward sometimes suffered from lack of sleep when there was a lot on his mind and so if he wasn't in his room then he would be downstairs doing something to pass the time.
I paced over to Bella's door and opened it quietly the slight creak of the door entering the confines of the walls...
I froze immediately when I looked towards Bella's bed and found out who was in Bella's room with her......
*~Edward~*
There was no doubt about it....Bella had officially scared the shit out of me yesterday...Vomiting that much and not even shedding a tear about what was on her mind....I felt powerless...How would I have been able to help her get better...I wasn't my father and I did not have the medical training. After I left Bella yesterday afternoon I went back to school; Standing at the front gate were Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper...They all acknowledged my entrance into the car lot in their own ways before I climbed out and headed towards reception...I has two tasks to complete...Only two tasks and then I would be able to go back and be with Bella...She needed all the care in the world right now as she had took care of all of us and now we were all finally able to return the favour.
I was stopped in my tracks before I got to the reception by Emmet and Rosalie who asked me to send their apologies to Bella for today and the fact that she wasn't well....They also handed me a pile of three textbooks and added that Bella had left them in the cafeteria when she had run out unexpectedly. I had taken them and then gone to reception.
Ms Davies in all honesty was a nice woman and I am sure that there were people in her own life personally that do care about her but once I had finished explaining to her about Bella she literally accused me of lying for 'Isabella' as she truanted from school...Not forgetting her adding in about how her kids used to skive off from school....Is that MY problem, love?!
I was so tempted to tell her to fuck off because I had to go an take care of my sick sister – luckily the headmaster Mr Stevens came out just in time and agreed that I had done the right thing in letting the school know about Bella's absence...Maybe I should have slipped in the fact that he should let Davies go as she has clearly lost it but today, Bella was more important than if a teacher got fired from her post or not.
I had rushed home and back to Bella, my mom was already there in Bella's room clutching tightly at one of Bella's hands which hadn't surprised me in the least...Bella was drifting in and out of vision...Sometimes falling asleep and sometimes staying awake...She hadn't looked as sick when I had come back home – more drained than anything else.
"Edward has she said anything about today?" Esme asked me as I placed the textbooks I had received from Emmett and Rosalie somewhere on the floor of Bella's bedroom...I went and sat over next to Esme as she looked into Bella's sleeping face.
"No...She just kept saying that it was all too much....That something was too much for her" I answered my mom, placing my hand on her shoulder. There was a part of me that wanted to know exactly what or WHO had made Bella so ill more than anything but I would wait for her to tell me...We had a better bond now...A stronger one and I hoped way deep inside my soul that she would come to me when she wanted to talk.
My mom and I carried on the confused conversation for a long while none of us wanting to move and leave Bella...The only exception we made to move was when one of us needed the bathroom which is not something I am going to disclose anything else about....The only choice I had then was to wait for Emmett...He and Rosalie had last seen Bella before me, had they noticed something strange about her?
Emmett never came home in the end and Alice knew no more about it than myself or my mom; I was in hell....I wanted to do so many things to make Bella feel better...I wanted her to know that I was there and that I was going to leave her...Does she know that I would go to the ends of the earth and back again for her if I could?
I stayed with Bella all night....Ignoring the fact that I had wanted to ask my dad about the possibility of having my cell phone back...I was still determined to ask Jessica out and as soon as I got my phone back I would ring her up and chat about things....All of that seemed like a long-gone memory as Bella lay in her bed breathing heavily... Also making the Occasional mumbles of speech in her sleep but nothing concrete to fully understand in English...I lay on top of her duvet next to her with the left side of my body in contact with her right side underneath the duvet....I lay my arm on her pillow near to her head but kept a little gap in case she burned up again....I hadn't slept at all..All I had done was stare at the ceiling or stare at Bella.
This morning was a change though, I wasn't suffering from the usual need and urgency to have a caffeine fix which I do when I haven't slept a wink; I was content staying here with Bella...Even if she wasn't moving or talking to me...It didn't matter I felt a little more relieved than I had been in the past twenty four hours.
However this morning I would have to do a bit of fast-talking...........Definitely fast-talking.
My dad had come into Bella's room and was now staring directly at my face his eyes fixated on mine but his expression unreadable.
*~Carlisle~*
"Edward?" I asked as I saw my son laying beside Bella...He looked guilty and instantly his mouth began to quiver as he indicated that he was going to say something...But current emotion deemed speech to be too difficult for him...I had been so angry at Edward for what he had done to Bella on THAT night that I wasn't sure whether I could ever be able to get over what he had done but something right then and there and now in the present time forced me to reconsider. Edward had his arm around Bella allowing her to be in a kind of cocoon; I had known that Bella and Edward had something special as siblings but I never knew that they cared for one another so much and only after a short time...It had always been hard for Edward to completely open up to another person – Esme had been the only person successful enough to make him bear all and so I had intentionally left all of the emotional stuff to her however now I was inclined to believe that Bella had been the next person to succeed....I wanted to tell Edward that it was okay he was in here taking care of her and I could completely understand why he looked so guilty because I had been known to jump the gun to the wrong conclusion sometimes and I do not have a problem with admitting to that. I couldn't speak it was such a nice picture of the two of them together and Bella looked peaceful and admittedly a little colour flushed to her cheeks this morning and not the pasted, sickly looking young girl she had been last night as I said goodbye to her.
I also made a decision that I wouldn't badger Bella about what was on her mind...I had been working with psychiatry long enough to see the signs of a crowded mind...Bella was no exception to the usual symptoms (some can lead into early diagnosis of depression).
"Dad...Listen it's not what it-"Edward started moving his arm away from Bella's shoulder...I could have sworn I heard a little whimper from Bella at the loss of contact but it the sound hadn't been loud enough to determine whether it had been her. I put my hand up to Edward.
"Son...It's okay, I came to check on her....Have you been here all night?" I asked my son who was now fully facing me with his legs on the floor one if his hands rubbing his face...It didn't take much to realise that Edward probably hadn't got any more sleep than I had done.
"Yes, she wasn't ill after the second time...She slept peacefully as well" he stated, his voice a little strained.
"Edward...Would you come with me a minute, please?" I asked him...I knew what I wanted to do now and I thought that now was the right time. Edward looked at me a little confused as he stood up and accompanied me downstairs to my office.
Once getting to my office desk I reached into one of my drawers and pulled out Edward's cell phone...To be honest I felt fortunate to be rid of it as it had been ringing non-stop during the day and when I had checked on it in the mornings there had been the same amount of calls made to the phone in the middle of the night...All of the calls had been from the same number...As much as I couldn't look at Edward for a period because I was cautious of how I would react I still wanted to keep his trust in me and so to keep his trust in me I didn't take a look at the person whom the number belonged to – Edward wouldn't have forgiven me for doing that and even when you are angry with someone I still love my son more than words and I didn't want to jeopardise my relationship with him as a father...The loss would have been too great for just a lapse of giving into temptation.
Edward stood in front of my desk with his hands in his pockets – The dark rings habituating under his eyes were more prominent with the light down here; He needed to have sleep.
I clasped the phone in my hand but kept my hand in the drawer.
"Edward before I do what I came down here for...I want you to go into school for JUST your lessons today...No after school clubs you need to get your body-clock straightened back up" I stated...Holding up one hand as Edward opened his mouth to protest he finally sighed and nodded in understanding lowering his head for a few moments.
"You have proven to me that you deserve to be fully forgiven again now, Edward...You understand why I reacted and you also realised that you had done wrong and it took a lot for you to admit that you WERE wrong...So I think it is only best if you have this back now" I finished and pulled the phone put from the drawer and held it out to Edward...He smiled a little and took it instantly clicking around with the buttons.
"I also have to say that I am sorry right now...I have to work late tomorrow night and so I won't be able to be here to celebrate your birthday with you, I will have to do something with you at the weekend is that okay?" I asked him...Alice had taken me to one side to go over the final plans for Edward's surprise party she had asked me at least three months ago for permission to have it held here and I had obliged knowing that Alice would persuade me to the grave until I said yes if I said no to it originally...Alice had Esme's spirit for life but I never knew where she had gained her persuasion from.
"That's okay, dad...I wasn't planning on doing anything anyway" Edward replied.
"Well you go and get ready for school...Mom will be up any minute to make your breakfast...I will see you later on tonight" I finished with a small smile as Edward returned the smile back to me and walked out of my office without another word.
Before I could blink Alice had come running towards me.
"Alice...Is everything alright?" I asked instantly concerned as to her hurry to get to me.
"Yes....So did he buy it?" She choked out as she reached me...Her chest raising and lowering with her increase in heart rate.
"God, Alice...Don't do that – You almost scared the hell out of me. Yes I spun him my LIE" I answered giving her a stern look.
"Dad I know you have said that lying is wrong....But is lying really wrong when you have someone else in your mind...We are doing this for Edward after all"
"Alice I have to give this back to you now" I said to her as I pulled her cell phone out of my drawer which I hadn't closed since I had given back Edward's. I held it out to her.
"Oh, dad really?" My daughter exclaimed...A slight look of apprehension clouding her face.
"Yes you have all proven me wrong by making it up to Bella....Besides I should have really given it back to you sooner....How did you ring up the family to organise the party?"
"Let's just say I have a lot of making up to do to Jasper" Alice replied with a light giggle as she took the phone from me and put it in her pocket...I smiled back at her in response.
"I called up the school and said that you and Bella will be off today...Emmett is going to go in as to not make it look too obvious but he will be back here later on" I said, Alice nodded.
"Once we have decided where to put all the decorations today and make final confirmations we will be able to do it all tomorrow...Luckily I have no classes tomorrow so I do not mind staying here and doing that with Esme"
"Bella will be here to help you today..Well at least she will do as much as she can...She has already said she would do that and if she is recovered then she will be going back to school as usual tomorrow" I finished.
"That's the plan daddio...Oh and Edward will be here tomorrow but ONLY in the morning...Jasper and Emmett have it all worked out between them what they will tell him in school and for the time before the party" Alice sang as she beamed a wide smile and then turned to skip out of my office... Unknown to both her and Edward I had already given Emmett back his phone as he said he would not be in the house this morning.
I then made my own way back upstairs...Before I got into the shower and made myself more...Presentable I opened the door to Bella's room...She was now sitting up and turning what looked like the past page of her book...She looked up at me when she had heard the door closed and smiled lightly...She looked a whole lot better than she had done last night and I was instantly relieved more than words could express.
"Hi Bella" I greeted her softly
"Hi Carlisle" She answered putting the book on her lap so the pages were facing down...I walked over to her and kissed her forehead my lips lingering on her skin longer than usual...She had scared me and the relief that she was now awake and looking a lot better proved to be too much for a few seconds...Bella sensed the lingering and wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled both of our foreheads together and remaining touching...I wrapped my arms around her back and brought my head back down to hug her closely...She responded with the same enthusiasm.
"I am sorry, Bella...You scared me sweetheart." I confessed
"I am okay now, Carlisle...I promise I am" she replied trying to comfort me in her own unique and individual way..As only Bella can. We released our holds and I pulled away caressing her cheek with my hand as she smiled underneath my touch.
"Is there anything you need, Bella?" I asked and she shook her head. "You will not be going in to school today...I seem to remember you agreeing to helping plan the decorations layout today" I said as she sighed in a happy way.
"Of course I did"
"If you are still not feeling one hundred percent then do as much as you can...Both Esme and Alice aren't expecting you to do magic today and they will understand if you need the break in actual fact I am sure they would welcome it" I said as Bella chuckled a little under her breath.
"I won't need to, Carlisle but I will bear it in mind if I need to, thank you" she replied politely...My god did I love my children too much at this moment? Almost TOO much.
I kissed Bella again on the head and left the room walking back up to mind and Esme's room; I found Esme making the bed she was fully clothed...I took the opportunity to examine her in every way possible...I had always considered myself a lucky man to have a beautiful and loving wife like Esme and having three amazing children...Now we were blessed to have Bella to make a fourth and I couldn't be happier right now...Esme had allowed me to adopt Bella as she had the other three...I wouldn't be where I am or be who I was now without her...She jumped a little when she saw me smiling at her.
"Carlisle...Baby, are you okay?" Esme asked me analysing my face....I had no words at that moment...I didn't want to talk...I closed the distance between myself and Esme and pressed my lips to hers almost too forcefully but I couldn't care...I needed to show her what I was thinking....With as much passion as I could muster. I attacked her mouth feverishly but not in a violent way...I felt Esme smile before opening her mouth fully to take in my tongue and bring out her own...She clutched to the two sides of my dressing gown near to my chest and I wrapped my arms around her waist as our tongues danced in and out of both our mouths. Once both of us were gasping for oxygen I lifted my mouth off of hers and kissed all areas of her forehead as she sighed contently under my touch...I then moved to her neck and began my journey there...I left no part of her untouched as she wrapped her hands around my head and kissed it numerous times responding to me...I wrapped my arms around her again only this time it was around the back of her chest...Her beautiful chest pressed to mine...I sighed into her neck.
"What was that for?" Esme breathed out her voice a little lower pitched than usual and I knew that she was somewhat aroused by what I had done to her and hearing her make sounds and have her voice affected by what I had done to her never failed to bring a smile to my face. I kissed the hollow at the base of her neck once and brought my head up to connect my eyes with hers my hands moving from her back to each side of her face.
"Do I need a reason to kiss my wife?" I asked her as she smiled our eyes still connected with each other...Speaking their own language to one another.
"No...You just caught me off-guard...I would love to stay with you Carlisle my love but I have breakfast to make and you have to get ready for work" Esme stated and I groaned.
"Reality is hell sometimes"
"It is....I love you so much, Carlisle" Esme said as her confession caught me off guard a little slightly...I sighed and caressed her cheek with one of my hands.
"Darling Esme...There are no words to comprehend my feelings for you...You are my world and I love you and I always will" I replied as she kissed me lightly on the lips before pulling herself out of my grasp and walking out of the room.
I then made my way to the bathroom to FINALLY get ready for work.
*~Edward~*
In all honesty I had completely forgotten I had even OWNED a cell-phone as Bella took up too much of my mind right now...I had showered after speaking to my dad in his office and bunged on any old clean clothes I had...I had been ready to protest after my father had made me agree that I would come home today only after my lessons had finished and usually I would practice for the Christmas show but I couldn't find the strength to argue with my dad...I will have to practice from home on my own piano when I was feeling more awake to do so.
I walked back to Bella's room after I had gotten myself ready to literally go out of the door when I needed to...It had been a good idea to always leave my belongings in my locker as I didn't need to worry about forgetting it at home in the mornings....I opened the door to find Bella on her bed and writing in her diary she looked so in-depth with her mind that I didn't want to disturb her but I was so relieved that she was up and that she had some colour on her face once more than any reservations I may have had about disturbing her were gone from my mind as quickly as they entered it.
"Bella?" I called out to her and she looked up instantly biting her lip and putting her diary down next to her...she motioned for me to come towards her with her hand and I did so...Standing over her as she sat on the bed felt a little daunting even to me but I didn't move and I didn't want to say anything until she had said something first.
Before I even had time to register what I was about to do...Bella had pushed herself up from the bed to a kneeling position and had turned towards me...Her arm wrapping around my waist tightly as she lay her forehead on my stomach...I knelt down never breaking our contact and put both my hands on the side of her forehead and brought it to meet mine.
"Thank you Edward" Bella breathed...A tear escaping from her eye...I wiped it away with my index finger.
"What do you have to thank me for?" I asked her...She exhaled and rolled her eyes.
"You took care of me, Edward and you stayed with me all night...Why did you do it?" Bella asked...It was now my turn to put my finger under her chin like she had done with me a couple of nights ago she looked up into my eyes.
"Bella you scared the absolute shit out of me...I am going to be honest...I have never seen you upset and it took me by surprise...I don't want to see you sad, Bella...I never want you to be in pain just like the way you have said you don't want to see me in pain...You don't need to thank me, I would have done exactly what Emmett or Alice would have done in the same situation because we are family and we take care of one another" I answered her.
Bella smiled and pulled her forehead away from mine.
"Are you going to school?" Bella asked me.
"Yes...I am only going in for my lessons as you can probably tell I didn't get any sleep last night"
"I am sorry"
"Don't be sorry for being sick, Bella....I have to know one thing though"
"What's that?"
"You will tell me what made you so upset...EVENTUALLY won't you?" I asked.
"Eventually maybe I will Edward as for right now...It is not important anymore" she replied and I nodded understanding that she wouldn't want to talk about it here right now because of the risk of bringing everything back.
"Are you off today, then?" I asked her as I noticed she was still in her pyjamas.
"Yes...Although it was more of Carlisle's idea..." she answered....It also didn't surprise me that dad hadn't allowed her back out until she was fully recovered and I agreed in my own mind that his choice was the best thing for her.
"I will see you later on tonight, Bella" I said getting up.
"Have a good day, Edward" She replied with a smile...I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead "Try not to do that to me again, Bella" I whispered into her skin.
"I will try not to" Bella whispered in reply...I disconnected our heads and walked out of the room and closing it behind me.
I ate the breakfast that Esme had made for me which had gone down better than if I had chosen not to eat like I had done yesterday..I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug goodbye and then made my way to school.
Not long to go now, Edward....Until you can leave school again and go home to get some rest.
Time could not go quickly enough today...I hoped to god that it wouldn't drag.
*~Alice~*
I had spent the last half an hour rummaging through different boxes in our garage...Gathering all of the decorations together – I had halted my movements when I heard Edward on the driveway – I knew it was him as my dad had already gone, Emmett wasn't here and my car was in the garage so Edward's was the only one that was left to leave. He hadn't heard me.
Once I gathered all the boxes I needed...I put them altogether on one side of the garage as I cleaned up the other side I had spread out widely in my searches. I grabbed each box one by one and put them into our living room where mom was sitting on one of the sofas waiting for me...As I collected the rest of the boxes she opened each of them and examined the contents inside of them..We both sat down after examining and I pulled out my little notebook and pen from the back pocket of my jeans.
I sketched roughly the plan of what I thought would look appropriate for the house...Adding little details and writing down individual ideas of my own...It didn't take me long to put everything down and I handed it to mom once I finished...She gestured for me to give her the pencil as she changed to a clean page and jotted down any changes that she would personally make...Luckily there weren't that many that I could see from where I was sitting...She handed it back to me and I nodded to agree to all of her changes...In that small amount of time mom and I had already come up with the plan and now we needed to make sure we had everything.
My mom and I had ALWAYS been good at this kind of stuff and I knew now who I got it from...
"Hello Esme..Alice" both mom and I looked up from our own boxes to see Bella standing across the room "Do you need any help?"
I jumped up and walked over to her, I took out the notebook and pen I had put back in my pocket and handed it to her, she took it.
"If you know any good party games then we need you to write them down..It doesn't matter if they are from England or here" I said as she bit her lip awkwardly but smiled in understanding...Bella sat down on the sofa and got to work on the list as mom and I finished checking everything.
"I have everything here that we should, darling...Do you?" mom asked.
"Yes....Brilliant"! I exclaimed "No we just need to confirm the D.J, caterer and drinks delivery" I stated as mom stood up dusting the small amount of dust from her black pencil skirt.
"I will sort all that out...You and Bella can discuss together anything else that you would like to add" mom said...I nodded as she walked out of the room towards my dad's office...I looked over at Bella who was chewing the end of her pencil in thought. I sat down next to her and looked over at what she had written:
Spin the bottle
Seven minutes to heaven
Truth and Dare
Twister
"Sorry that is all I could think of" Bella said...I turned my head to see her staring back at me apologetically.
"That's great; Bella...The only thing we are missing is 'Rated X'." I replied
"What's that?"
"It's a game that is usually played on birthdays where each member of the party that is the opposite sex to the person who's birthday it is put their names and a number between one and ten of their own choice on the back. The person who's birthday it is pulls out a name so for example if Edward pulled out my name and I had picked the number seven to put on the back then I would have to go and kiss him with what I would consider to be rated a seven out of ten. The winner is found by the biggest amount of applause...The people find out what the number was at the back of the paper by the birthday boy and they only applaud if they agree that the kiss you gave WAS what they would rate the same as you or they keep quiet if they disagree" I explained.
"Wait...So you would have to kiss someone...In public...In front of people and they will applaud you if you are doing it right?" Bella choked out...She looked shocked and uncomfortable all of a sudden.
"Bella are you alright?" I asked...I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as she continued to stare off into space with both an astonished and a confused expression on her face. "Bella?" I asked her again as she snapped out of her haze and looked at me.
"I am sorry, Alice....I just....I have never kissed anyone before" she confessed.
"Oh my god. Never?" I asked her...I was shocked Bella was so caring and such a genuine person and she also scored very high on the looks department as well – How is it possible that no one had found her attractive enough to kiss her? What was this world coming to?
"That's alright Bella...I will teach you although to be honest there isn't much to be TAUGHT...It's more of an instinct thing" I offered.
"I don't know Alice...-"she began
"Bella if you don't learn now you will never be ready to do it with someone when you end up being in a relationship?"
Bella shrugged still looking vulnerable....She looked so sweet in that moment that if I had been a guy then I would instantly kiss her....That's the truth.
"Anyway...I won't practice with you I know for certain that we both swing for the same side that isn't the gay side" I giggled a little trying to ease the tension away from Bella "I will find someone who will be able to explain all of the types of kissing to you"
"No Alice Plea-"
"Trust me, Bella....Anyway you don't have to actually kiss them they can just explain to you what they are and you just remember them when you actually do want to kiss them"
Bella sighed..."Okay" she said and I pulled her closer to my chest for a little hug.
"Is there anything you would like to have at the party, Bella....It is Edward's surprise party but we all have to have a little something of our own to include"? I asked her.
"No...I think all I want to be responsible for is showing up" she replied and I kissed her head lightly.
"Then that is what you will get" I answered as she nodded on my stomach.
"Okay girls...Everything is set...All the deliveries will come at various times tomorrow during the day but not late because we need to get all the decorations up...I have also rung the family and a few have cancelled because of illness but Aro, Kate, Tanya and Caius are confirmed along with Sam, Leah and Elthezar...The party is sorted" That reminds me...I needed to ring Jessica Stanley at some point to make sure that she was also attending. Mom had explained as she walked back into the room. I squealed loudly in excitement and Bella had lifted her head up to smile contently at both my mom and myself.
The day then carried on smoothly...We had all had lunch together before Bella had gone back up to her room to have a little sleep...Mom was doing various different things around the house to pass the time...She did miss my dad when he was at work and it was always evident in her body language that she missed him when he wasn't around...I felt the same pang of pain when Jasper was away from me...It was hard to find various things to do that would help me forget about the pain because he was such a big part of me...I had managed today as I scrolled through the television channels...I had done my washing last night and my room was already tidy so all of my essential chores were done – I had before I sat down on the sofa offered to help my mom clean the house but she wasn't having any of it....Mom was particular in her cleaning regimes and in all honestly no one could amount to the same standard of cleaning that she possessed....She was always thankful for the offer of help though so I made that my everyday thing to ask her.
I couldn't wait until tomorrow night......
It was all going to be perfect.....
I could sense it.....
And it had been said that my instincts were always spot on....
*~Bella~*
I awoke from a two-hour nap...I had felt really awful that I hadn't inputted much of my help into the party organising as I said to Carlisle that I would...However he had been right about Esme and Alice those two really were forces of nature and there was no way I could have said any lame ideas to their combined masterpiece. I was glad of the time to sleep and I now felt completely refreshed...I hadn't thought much about Mike out of principal...I didn't want to and the best thing I could do right now is make sure I am in a good mood for Edward's party tomorrow because it was going to be HIS day and I would have no right to take his day away from him and make it worse.
I climbed out of my bed instantly missing the warmth but I needed to clean my teeth because there was nothing worse than falling asleep and having the taste of morning breath in your mouth...Whether it was actually MORNING or not. I spent my time with the brush in my mouth not leaving any area behind with my scrubbing. I had turned off the water and wiped my mouth on the hand towel next to the sink before walking back out to find Edward standing at my door.
"Hi Edward...Did you have a good day"?
"Yes thank you, Bella....I am here...Against my will I might add because Alice said I needed to teach you something" oh god....No.....Please, No.....Anything but this....Anyone but Edward.
"Oh" I managed feeling the blush against my cheeks.
"She wouldn't tell me what...She said I should ask you" Did she now?...Did she really? My stern words with that girl were long overdue...I would have to kill her all over again in my mind...I never did anything to her in real life, love her too much don't you Bella? That was beginning to change.
"Bella?" Edward asked....Oh my god what am I going to say...Yeah I have never kissed anyone because no one has ever liked me in that way and now I find myself inexperienced and if my name ends up being pulled out by you at your secret party tomorrow then I will embarrass myself miserably...Yes that's a good plan, Bella...Ruin everything in one go.
"Edward...I can't tell you...its embarrassing" I choked out.
"It can't be that embarrassing if I have to teach you it" he replied....Suck it up, Bella...He is your brother he will help you...Won't he? "Bella will you please tell me, I am dying over here" he teased and I placed both my hands on my face and rubbed hard before releasing them back down and against my sides.
"Okay...Alice was teaching me about what games are suitable at parties and she mentioned one named 'Rated X'-" I began to explain feeling the lump forming in my throat.
"Good one that one" He replied with a smirk....I glanced away from him to the floor.
"I kind of said that I had never kissed anyone before and Alice said that she would find someone to explain it to me" I finished choking it all out as well as swallowing deeply to remove the dryness in my throat.
"Ah I can see now why she would have chosen me...Listen, Bella you shouldn't be embarrassed about...Well firstly about how you haven't been kissed, it's very surprising and I am not going to lie about that and secondly about how I may be the one to teach you...I will help you, Bella it's the least I can do for the times you have been there for me...Don't worry I am not going to fall in love with you afterwards" he explained and I couldn't help but smile...There was no chance in hell that I would end up with Edward...It would be wrong on too many levels and well it was EDWARD.
"Edward...You're my brother" I stated.
"How else do you think people learn, Bella? There is always the back of the hand technique but that never works...Kissing is mostly about instinct you need to live in the moment and do it your own way..As long as you have the basics you should be fine. Besides you don't have to ACTUALLY kiss me, Bella...I can just explain them to you and then you can decide what to do when the moment happens" Edward explained...I instantly felt a little better as I nodded.
"Well you better sit down then" I said as he smiled and sat on my bed...I sat on the carpet opposite him and hugged my knees to my chest.
"Okay first off there is the 'small kiss'...The 'peck' as it is most formally known...A peck is something that I placed on your forehead this morning before I went to school...It is a simple touching of the lips for a mere few seconds however this morning it was your forehead...It is considered more of a sweet gesture more than anything else." I nodded in indication that I understood. "Then there is the 'tender kiss' the only exception it has to the peck is that you can choose to open your mouth...No tongue however, this kiss lasts longer than the peck....However the most enjoyable one is the 'Passionate kiss' where you start off with the technique of the peck and then the tender and then add tongues into the equation...Each person caresses their tongue with the other person's...Trust me it feels a whole lot better than it sounds" Edward finished. It was clear that he had a bit of experience in this area as he sounded so confident about it...Why did I find myself suddenly interested in kissing all of a sudden? Was it just because Edward had explained it so well? I felt butterflies in my stomach as I thought about the idea of kissing someone in all those ways...It did look a lot better in my head than it probably would be in real life.
Edward stood up and made his way to the door before I did something I never thought I would..
"Edward, Wait" I called to him before I had realised what I had just done....Bella you don't want to do this...You know it all now and you can wait to use it at a later date...Don't embarrass yourself....Stop, Bella.
"Yes, Bella"? He asked me turning around.
Don't say it Bella....Haven't you been embarrassed enough...Don't you dare do this....Don't..."Would it be okay if I was able to try it....Just to make sure I have everything learnt?" I asked him uncontrollably..You went there, didn't you Bella....You bloody went there you silly girl.
Edward exhaled and made his way back to me...He stood in front of me this time before kneeling...I lifted myself up onto my knees our faces very close together now.
"Bella...I don't want you to do this and regret it...It is your first kiss and I know how special that is to some people" Edward said.
I shook my head "I don't think it is a real kiss unless you are in love with the person you are kissing and besides this is like taking an exam and it will determine whether I pass or fail at the end" I replied...School analogy? Smooth Bella...He probably already thinks you are off your trolley...You have to go and make it worse don't you?
"I won't tell anyone...We can keep it between the two of us" He added.
"Just please...Don't laugh at me, Edward" I said feeling the butterflies swarm the centre of my stomach.
"I would never laugh at you, Bella" He replied.
I closed my eyes slowly gravitated my face to his...This is it...Now or never...It can never be undone, Bella...You will never get it back...I pressed my lips lightly to Edward's the feeling of his lips on mine feeling strange and brand new...I kissed him as a 'peck' once and then did a CLOSED mouth 'tender' and moved on to an OPEN mouthed 'tender'...Edward was patient with me and let me lead the kiss which I was grateful for...I then pulled myself away from the contact not knowing how I was going to do the 'Passionate'...I closed my eyes again after a few moments.
"Don't think about it, Bella....Just do it" Edward said softly to me...His voice soothing my insecurities. I pressed my lips to his and opened my mouth fully pressing my tongue lightly on his...He rubbed his tongue along mine lightly before I sunk into the kiss fully allowing it to take me along with the ride...Each caress got bigger and by the fourth connection we had both lost breath...I closed my mouth and exhaled a little before adding a last peck on his lips...I didn't open my eyes until I was away from his face as I didn't want to see the reaction until I was further away from him.
I opened my eyes when I got back to my original position and saw that he had his own eyes open already and was smiling at me.
"What? Was that bad?" I asked him my paranoia instantly hitting me down.
"Bad? Not at all...You learn quickly don't you, Bella?" He said with a comforting smile...I exhaled silently in relief. "You kiss any boyfriend you get like that and he will be putty in your hands" he finished as I laughed nervously.
"You weren't too grossed out that it was me were you?" he asked and I shook my head.
I couldn't form any words to describe kissing....I had none and the fact that Edward had offered to help me was probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me....I felt giddy and my lips were tingling a little at the sensation of the new world of kissing. I wanted to giggle and jump around but I had to control it...At least till Edward was gone.
"If that is all you need me for then I think I will need to get some sleep" Edward said...I instantly felt a twinge of guilt...I had known how tired he was and how tired he LOOKED and he had been kept up by me and my lack of....Life experiences.
"Oh Edward...I am so sorry that I kept you up" I said biting my lip in slight agitation.
"Its fine, Bella...You would have done the same for me and besides I can add a second sister to my kissing list now" he smirked and ran his hand through his hair.
"You kissed Alice?" I gasped
"Both Emmett and I have kissed her for dares...I guess we will just have to wait until Emmett kisses you and then we each have a double whammy" he replied.
"Yeah I guess I will have to wait for Emmett now" I answered and both Edward and I laughed together.
"Sweet dreams little sister" Edward said getting up
"Good night, Edward" I replied as I watched my door close behind him.
I exhaled LOUDLY and ran both my hands through my hair...I felt like a little girl once again...I would have to make a note to myself to kiss my next boyfriend ALOT for the time that we were together I already liked it too much.
I changed into my pyjamas and climbed into my bed.
The thought of Edward's lips on mine never leaving my mind for a moment....
I would have to tell him that he was a good kisser...At some point.....
I didn't care that I was going to inflate his ego....He needed to be told.
Aww Bella is all growing up now!!
Edward and Bella are NOT together and they won't be for some time yet...I need to make that clear" However it is evident that Bella has enjoyed that kiss and next chapter we will find out what Edward thought as well as enter the world of surprise parties...Cullen-style :D!
I will not be updating until Thursday but I hope this chapter is enough for you to cope...Yes I am talking to you 'Rawwwr'...!
Thanks for reading...Review if you have any thoughts because in all honesty reviews are BETTER than a kissing lesson from Edward :D.
Love .S.
X x x x