Got another chapter here for YOU guys!
'Rawwr' was SOOO good to point those little mistakes out to me that I made last chapter I am sorry if it threw some of you off-course I try so hard not to make mistakes because I am prone to the little ones quite often...Well ALL THE TIME tbh .
I don't know whether nearly making you cry....'Wendililli and ayajee' is a GOOD thing but I am going to take a risk and say to myself that it is...However if you do not wish to cry anymore then I suggest you skip this chapter
'Culllengirl08' I agree with what you have said completely it was my intention straight from the start to have people see Carlisle make that change..We ALL get angry in reality and do and say things we shouldn't and so as much as I LOVE Carlisle I couldn't have him constantly bathing in whipped cream and syrup sweetness because even caring people have their moments...Bear with me.
'Samasaurus Rex' – It's so weird...I read your name and because my name is SAMANTHA I thought that my name was in yours :D silly girl eh? Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts...AML NEWBIE :D...Bella has Edward and she won't be long in Sandgrove so she will be back with the people that love her in no time.
Thanks again for everyone who read last chapter I need Bella to be down at the moment so she can face up to what has been staring at her in the face for some time now...So hope you enjoy this one! LOVE YOU ALL LOTS x x x
~*Edward~*
'Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile – Albert Einstein'
I struggled to get Bella out of the car as my dad pulled up at the hospital...She was a heavy sleeper and hadn't stirred once since we started our journey...Dad grabbed her legs from mine and held her for a moment as I climbed out from the back seat...The numbness now very prominent in both of my legs...I didn't care though...I took Bella back into the confines of my arms and we both paced towards the hospital entrance.
We were greeted by an elderly woman as we got into the reception of where my dad worked...I looked around me at the place where my sister had started out...I was now beginning to understand how hard it must have been for her...I cringed at the smell of the air and the dirtiness of the used-to-be white walls...This hospital was a prison...There were no other people around and it didn't take a genius to believe that they were not allowed out of their rooms for obvious reasons...I couldn't have Bella staying here with these people for long...I wouldn't allow it as long as I had breath left in my body...Dad conversed with the receptionist as I pulled Bella up further in my hold as she had begun to slip...I was suddenly grateful to Emmett for teaching me how to work weights and to have some stamina in the centre core of my stomach...I needed it right now!
Dad finished his conversation with the elderly woman as she flashed me a smile...I smiled a little back feeling the heat falling on my cheeks...It's true Bella weighed nothing but have you tried carrying a person or holding them for a certain amount of time...It's a BITCH! Dad gestured to me to follow him as I trudged my weight-stricken legs on and in his pursuit.
Luckily the room that Bella was staying in wasn't far from the reception...Dad opened the door for me and in all honesty I was about to vomit at this place...Dad was great at his job and we all live comfortably but really this place made a deserted volcano look nice. I stomped over to the bed and carefully placed Bella on the top...Forcing my legs to stop shaking as I let her go...I stood up and bent over to rub my legs which quite literally felt like lead.
Dad grabbed a clipboard from the foot of the bed and started to scribble down on the pen attached to it as I lay down with Bella on the bed once I got the feeling in my legs back.
"Okay...She should be assessed in the morning-"my dad started.
"Are you not at all sorry that she is in here?" I broke him off facing Bella's sleeping face as I put my hand through her hair.
"Of course...I am sorrier than anyone can ever know...You have to understand, Edward...Depression is something that can be diagnosed at any time in someone's life and once someone starts self-harming there are procedures that we all have to go through...If Bella is depressed then there is a possibility that she could become suicidal if we do not nip the problem in the bud early and this is what we are doing now"
"You think that she is going to kill herself?" I exclaimed.
"Depression is an illness, Edward....You have no control over your own body or what you end up doing...You feel completely alone"
"Bella is NOT alone...She will NEVER be alone"
"I know she is not, Edward"
"The reason she is in here is because of you....You humiliated her by jumping to conclusions about her being pregnant and you didn't even listen to her"
"You can point the blame at me all you want, Edward but if I said to you that I will regret what I did to her for the rest of my life you would never believe me anyway"
"Don't pretend like you know what I am thinking, dad...You have no idea"
"Why don't you let me in, then?"
"No bloody way...You can't go all doctor-ish on me when Bella is in trouble"
"She is in good hands"
"This place is disgusting" I had moved my face away from Bella and had climbed off the bed to stand up...I could feel the anger starting to boil up in my body and I didn't want Bella to be in the firing line. Dad had put the clipboard in the holder and folded his arms across his chest.
"You're right, Edward...This place isn't the Hilton but it is a hospital"
"I know that....I don't want Bella to be here"
"That's not for you to decide"
"It's not for YOU to decide either...It is Bella's choice"
"Actually it isn't...She is still a child by law and as her rightful guardian now I have say in medical matters that she undergoes"
I felt the tears fill my eyes again as I threw my head down with my hands on either side of it...My chest hitting my knees....I wanted to scream but I couldn't because I would wake my little sister up.
"Son...Why don't you wait outside for a minute and cool off" dad suggested as he put a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off forcefully and pulled my body back up.
"Bella belongs with us...She needs the people that love her around her!"
"I know that, Edward and if there were any other way to make that possible then I would take it but there isn't"
"I can't have her in here whilst I am cosy at home...It's not right and besides I...WE would all miss her too much" I wiped the tears off my face feeling like a complete wimp for crying in front of my own father.
"You can come and visit her whenever you want...I think she would like that" Dad soothed.
"Don't pretend like you know what she is thinking either"
"Fine, Edward then I will say it....I am SORRY" dad said sternly
"Don't apologise to me...Apologise to HER" I threw back as she frowned at me.
"Will you give me a minute with her?" I nodded and opened the door but looked back at my dad who had now sat on the bed where I had been...He had picked up Bella's body and hugged her tightly as I had done earlier on..His back was to me but his body was rising and falling and I knew that he was crying silent tears. I closed the door behind me and stood in the hallway.
I took the opportunity then to shed my tears as I placed both my hands on the wall and leant against it as the forceful sobs broke through my body...I didn't care who could hear me
It was going to be an emotional night.
*~Esme~*
(Next day)
'Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep – Carl Sandburg'
I sat motionless on the kitchen chair...I hadn't made any breakfast because I hadn't been able to sleep all night and my body protested any kind of movement at this moment in time due to lack of energy...I held my hand on one of my hands and stared out the kitchen window...I didn't know how long I had been sitting there or what the time was...I didn't even know what I was feeling emotionally.
"Mom...Is everything okay?" I flinched at the sound of Alice's concerned voice and then felt her hand as it rested on my shoulder....I shook my head new sobs threatening to escape my body and mouth...Alice walked over to kneel in front of me..I looked at her as she bit her lip and stroked one of my cheeks.
"Mom you look exhausted...Did you sleep at all?"
"No..Alice there is something I have to tell you"
"What is it, mom?"
I looked into her anxious expression and took a deep breath before opening my mouth.
"Bella had to be admitted back into Sandgrove last night" I choked out...Alice grabbed my head in both of her hands and then wrapped them around my neck..I buried my head into her shoulder as she rubbed my back.
"Can you tell me why, mom?"
"I don't know...Carlisle will tell me when he gets home...I think the only person who knows the real reason why she is in there is Edward"
"Edward?"
"Yes...He and your dad have been there all night with her...I don't think it's right for him to have to go to school so would you please explain to the headmaster why he is absent and also why Bella is...If they need evidence or proof then you ring me and I will get Carlisle on the case"
"Of course I will" she answered as I wrapped my own arms around her torso...She held me tightly in silence for a few minutes.
"Good morning my beautiful girls" Emmett's voice boomed into the kitchen however Alice and I continued to hug each other.
"Jeez what's happened?" Emmett asked...I couldn't see Alice's or his face to see what either of them may be thinking I just wanted to cry for Bella who had been down...Edward who had been in that place all night and for Carlisle who I know would be feeling more guilty than ever right now for his actions.
"Bella was admitted back to Sandgrove last night" Alice told Emmett steadily although I could tell that her emotion was holding her back somewhat.
"Do we know why?" Emmett asked
"No...Dad will tell mom later on today" Alice replied as Emmett exhaled....Without saying anything else he gently placed both my hands on my shoulders and hugged my back in comfort..I felt safer in the cocoon of two of my children and I smiled a little at how they had understood and not asked any more questions about Bella...My children knew when words were enough.
"Are you going to be okay here, mom?" Emmett asked
"Yes...You go off to school...You have practice now...I will have to go back to bed" I answered still in Alice's embrace.
"Is there anything you need...A hot water bottle...A hot drink?" Alice suggested and I chuckled pulling myself away from her hold. I placed my index finger under her chin.
"Save it for the baby" I stated with a smile as she smiled in response...Emmett had already walked out of the door joined by Rosalie who had been waiting outside.
"I am sorry I wasn't able to make you breakfast" I said to Alice as she collected her bag off of the floor.
"Don't be silly, mom...Look I know that Bella has been admitted because of me...It may not be the whole reason but dad's accusation and my pregnancy is a part of it...I am so sorry" she choked out as a couple of tears from each of her eyes had fallen down her cheek.
"Sweetie...Don't worry about pointing the blame at anyone...The most important thing is that we are all there for Bella because she needs us now more than ever...We will start anew somehow and forget this ever happened we will be natural in front of her...it's the best thing for her recovery"
Alice nodded, walked over to kiss my cheek and then walk out of the kitchen...Jasper gave me a small wave as I smiled in response and they both left the house...I was now in silence.
I made my way back up to my bedroom and threw myself underneath the covers not having a care in the world that I was fully dressed...I fell asleep instantly.
*~Alice~*
'Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed – Corita Kent'
As I left the house with Jazz and made my way to school I felt sick...Sick of the fact that Bella was now suffering because I made her promise to keep my secret...I knew why she had put that test in her pocket and I instantly felt like kicking myself...All the time she was wanting to protect me from my parents finding out unexpectedly before I had a chance to tell them myself and trust my father to put her washing in the washing machine the day she has that in her pocket and not in a bin.
I couldn't be angry at anyone but myself...Jazz had sensed my sadness and pain as he caressed my hand from the passenger's seat but he couldn't do anything this time...I needed to be careful with stress and sadness because of the baby but I couldn't stop thinking about Bella..The minute school finished tomorrow I would need to go and see her.
I walked glumly through the school gates but was met by Mike as I was about to walk into reception.
"Hello Alice...Did Bella hitch a ride with you today?" He asked me cheerily.
"No Mike...Bella was admitted into Sandgrove hospital last night" I replied as he gave me a rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights look.
"Fuck! Thanks Alice I will go and see her in my free periods this afternoon" he said before walking away from me...Well at least he shows he is caring but now in all honesty I couldn't see him and Bella working out and I did hope for Bella's sake that if she did decide to break up with him then he would take it easy on her in her fragile state...If he didn't then he would certainly have her three siblings to deal with.
I carried on with my school day with my head down and thoughts falling on Bella.
*~Edward~*
'The love we give away is the only love we keep – Elbert Hubbard'
I was awoken by the vibration of my phone...I looked around me and saw that I was still in the hallway however I was now placed in a chair rather than on the floor which I remember laying on last night as I cried. I stretched out my body as I then reached for my phone in my pocket.
Hi .E.
Can you meet me today? You name the place and I will bring ME.
Kisses
.J. x x
Crap!
In all the unexpected shit that went down last night with Bella I had completely forgotten about Jessica...I quickly typed a reply..As much as I would spend the rest of my life ensuring that Bella was okay she was currently in the room with my dad and I did not want to disturb them.
.J.
Meet me in the park by Sandgrove Hospital
Love .E. x
It wasn't long before I got another text in response.
.E.
Done...See you soon gorgeous!
.J. x x x
I put the phone back in my pocket and signed myself out on the clipboard at the desk..There was a younger woman who had filled in for the older woman last night and she was smiling at me as I put the time down on the sheet of paper...These people were not silly...They had probably already caught on that I was Carlisle Cullen's son...Either from hospital gossip or basic instinct but I had NO interest in what they thought or who the hell they were if I were in the world outside of this hospital I wouldn't give them a second glance.
Great and now I was crabby because I hadn't slept...I felt dirty wearing last night's clothes and I couldn't walk home because it was too far..Why didn't I bring my Volvo last night?!
I walked out of the hospital completely and made my way over to the greenery of the park opposite..The crisp coldness of the air hitting my overheated face and the sound of rustling leaves that were still remaining on the tree – as it was winter there weren't really leaves more like crumpled up prunes...I sat on a nearby bench and breathed in and out to get the fresh air into my lungs...I placed my hands together to keep them warm.
I hadn't been sitting there long when I heard a car horn...I turned around behind me and I saw Jessica waving at me as she stepped out of her car...I stood up smiled a little back at her not in the mood to be the happy, cheerful boyfriend today. She trudged across the grass in the wrong pair of shoes altogether..As much as she looked good in them why did she always insist on wearing heels?!
"Hello baby" she cooed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed me passionately..I let my lips move with hers but only a little. She pulled apart and kissed both my cheeks the coldness of them contrasting with the warmness of her lips...I rubbed her arms in an attempt to return the favour.
"So why are you here sweetie, are you with your dad or something"? Jess asked as we both sat down on the bench again...Jess's hand firmly in mine.
"Yeah..Well no not really...Bella was admitted here last night"
"Oh...That's horrible. I am sorry darling"
"That's alright don't worry yourself...I haven't slept. Anyway why are you here?"
"You not pleased to see me, then?" Jess teased.
"I didn't say that anyway I thought you had to go back to school yourself"
"No..I don't go back until next week"
"Oh right"
"You're off because of Bella, then?"
"Yes"
"Well I am free all day if you want to do something?"
"Um I don't know, Jess I mean I have to see to Bella and my dad has been up all night as well so...How about I text you tonight?"
"Yeah okay...Did you want to go and grab a drink...I passed a pub on my way here?"
"No...I gave up drinking"
"Huh...You always love a drink!"
"Not anymore"
"Well you are turning into a right bore aren't you?" Jessica teased.
"I will text you later tonight, Jess...If not I will ring you tomorrow"
"Fine" Jess said as she leaned in to kiss me again...I turned my head to so that her kiss landed on my cheek she huffed a little and stood up...Trudging her way back across the green to her car...I watched her go and then walked back into the hospital.
"You are Carlisle's son, aren't you?" The same woman at the reception asked me as I put my name back on the sheet and signed myself in.
"Yes" I answered not looking at her.
"Bella Swan is your adopted sister isn't she?"
"Yes" I put the pen down and looked at the receptionist.
"I looked after Bella when she was first admitted here...That was before your dad decided to adopt her" she stated and I nodded.
"Can I get you anything, Edward?" Charming...I always knew my dad spoke too much about us kids and now I was on first name basis with one of his colleagues.
"No...I don't want you to leave the desk" I answered...I wasn't going to risk someone else's jobs for my own needs.
"Oh!" she exclaimed "No...I am not a receptionist...My name is Tess and I am one of the staff nurses here..I am covering here whilst the real receptionist is on a break but considering that you and Carlisle have been the only people in here since last night.."
"Oh well thank you for offering...Is there any chance I can get two coffees?"
"Of course...However if the second cup is for Carlisle then I will have to take that up to his office...He is talking with another doctor about Bella's diagnosis"
"Okay great...I will go and be with my sister and collect it"
"I will bring it to you"
"Thank you" I said smiling widely at the nice woman..I then walked down the same disgusting hallway to Bella's room.
I walked in to find that she was still asleep no doubt drained from her assessment...I lay myself on the bed on my side so that our faces were together...I wrapped my arms around her waist and placed my forehead on hers.
"Edward?" Bella mumbled almost inaudibly.
"I am here, Bella" I replied kissing her forehead.
"Edward...I can't feel my body" she choked out...Fresh tears filled my eyes again as I pulled her tighter to me.
"I am sorry, sis...You will get better" I said steadily.
"I am in Sandgrove aren't I?"
"Yes"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong...Don't ever think that there is anything wrong with you...You have been a little bit down recently and the doctors are going to make you feel better that's all"
"I don't know if I can, Edward" the tears escaped my eyes onto her hair.
"You can...You can Bella because you are strong..I will always be here for you...You know that, don't you?"
"I love you, Edward"
"I love you too, Bella...My darling little sister everything will be okay" Bella sighed and then was silent...I continued to hold her as she fell back to sleep again in the security of my hold.
Once she was asleep completely again...I wriggled out of her hold and placed her back down on the bed...I had stood up and stretched when the door opened.
"Hello Edward...I am sorry to disturb you but someone is here to see Bella" Tess told me.
"Who is it, Tess?"
"He says his name is Mike Newton"
Jesus Christ...As much as I desperately wanted to throw Mike back out again I had no right and after shouting my mouth off at my party I am not the brightest button in the box according to him. I exhaled.
"Sure....Show him in Tess" I said and she walked out...I ran my hand through my hair and waited on the spot.
Mike peered in around the door and looked taken aback when he had seen me standing there.
"Come in, Mike" I said as he edged around the door cautiously.
"I wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you at my party...I was out of line"
"Oh well that's okay" Mike replied as he glanced over at Bella.
"I will leave you to it" I said walking past him and out of the door....He better not do anything to make Bella feel worse...If he does so to hell....
I would kill him and I didn't care who would be around to watch.
*~Bella~*
'Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle – James Russell Lowell'
"Bella?"
I mumbled at the sound of a voice that wasn't Edward's who had been holding me just now..I fluttered my eyes open still feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest and looked up at Mike who was sitting on my bed facing me.
"Mike?" I said and he smiled
"Hey" he said soothingly. "Alice told me you were here...I came to see if you were okay"
"I have been better" I slurred out.
"Jess, Angela and Eric are all worried about you...They asked me to send you their love and best wishes for a speedy recovery"
"Thanks, Mike"
"You're welcome...So...How long do you reckon you will be in here?"
"If I had a choice...I wouldn't be in here at all"
"Is there a reason for why you were admitted I mean people aren't just admitted to a place like this for merely falling down and grazing their knee?"
"I tried to cut myself....I hated myself because my dad was mad at me...I hated that my brother hated me for lashing out at him and I hated the way I felt inside"
"Bella...You shouldn't do that" Mike said as he took one of my hands and placed it in his...I pulled it away.
"Mike I need to tell you something" I said.
"Okay go ahead" he answered
"I don't want us to be together anymore" I stated my voice still croaky.
"What?"
"I am sorry...I just think that because of how low I feel right now I don't want to put you through that"
"What are you talking about, Bella? I am in love with you...I have been since I first met you and I would do anything for you...Anything to support you" Mike spoke a sadness in his voice.
"Mike I am so grateful that you feel that way"
"I don't get what the problem is, Bella...You were fine the night of the party"
"You need to accept that I have my own issues right now"
"I would know what they were Bella if you opened up to me...You are always so closed up and do you know how helpless that makes me feel?"
"I am sorry that I am not the best person for you"
"Bella just stop saying that...Right now...I will take care of you, Bella...Without me who are you going to have?"
"I will have my family"
"They sure have done a good job with you so far now you're in here"
"Leave them alone"
"I don't understand, Bella...The person that you call your brother shouted his mouth off at me at his party for no apparent reason and you didn't even begin to defend me"
"Mike...Don't you dare say that I did not defend you I dragged Edward outside and sung your praises about how you didn't deserve that...How you cared and how I was happy to be going out with you...-"
I reached over and pressed the nurse button "I think you need to go now, Mike"
"Now wait a minute...." Mike began
"Mike...I think you need to leave now as well" I looked over at Carlisle who was standing at the door with his arm leant against it.
Mike got up and walked out without another word as Carlisle closed the door and walked over to me.
"Are you alright, Bella?" I nodded. "Can I sit with you for a second?" I nodded again.
Carlisle sat down and turned his head to look at me..."I realise that I have yet to say sorry for my completely unnecessary behaviour to you back at the house last night"
I was about to move my hand to stop him when he carried on his explanation. "I was so quick to jump to conclusions Bella and I can't imagine how scared you must have been...I call myself a doctor and I am going and making you feel worse when I know you have had little sleep and haven't been feeling your usual self. You are right you do a lot for this family and we do not give you the respect you deserve back...If it weren't for Edward you wouldn't be getting treated right now and I will always be grateful to him for that, Bella"
"Carlisle-" I began
"No....Bella I don't expect your forgiveness and I don't want you to forgive me until you have thought about it...You are far too selfless for your own good"
"I was hurt dad by what you were insinuating and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't upset about what happened....It's not just you...It's my own issues as well and it is my own fault for not owning up to them sooner"
"None of this is your fault, Bella"
"Would someone please allow me to take some of the blame?"
"We would but you are not to blame, Bella"
"Carlisle...If you trust me at all then you will trust me now" I stated. Carlisle looked taken aback for a moment.
"What is it that you have done, Bella?"
"I can't tell you...All I can say is that it is nothing I have done"
"Bella?"
"Please, dad...Please believe me" I pleaded.
"Okay Bella...I believe you" he said...I lifted my heavy body up and wrapped myself around him...Letting the sobs break through as I breathed in his beautiful scent.
"I am so sorry, Bella" Carlisle said above me...I cried more and more until I could no longer see anything else in the room...It was uncontrollable like a force but I suppose this was all natural...I wanted to go away...I wanted to go back to England but then I didn't because I loved the Cullens...I wasn't a Cullen and I was never going to be connected to them by blood...
I just didn't know what to do anymore....
I couldn't find my own inner summer in the over clouding winter on the surface and If I didn't find it I was sure that I was going to give up fully.
I want my REAL home...
I want my REAL mum.....
*~Edward~*
'Compassion literally means to feel with, to suffer with. Everyone is capable of compassion, and yet everyone tends to avoid it because it's uncomfortable. And the avoidance produces psychic numbing – resistance to experiencing our pain for the world and other beings – Joanna Macy'
Glancing at my watch again I didn't have the energy to work out how long I had been in the hospital or how long I had gone without sleep...I jumped at my dad coming out of Bella's room.
"Dad...Is she okay?" I asked
"Yes she is fine...It is a very mild depression we are putting her on a two-week intensive course of therapy to try and make her feel better...I want to thank you Edward for telling me about her...Any longer and the depression could have become a whole lot worse"
"That's ok....I would do anything for her" I replied and dad smiled.
"Listen I am going to be here a little longer...Take my car back home and get some shut-eye...Tell Esme I will explain everything when I get home"
Dad reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys and held them out to me.
"But...dad-" I started to protest when my dad put up his hand.
"Bella is in good hands, Edward...You need to get some sleep you are welcome to come back tomorrow after school and see her"
I nodded glumly and took the keys...I waved at Tess on the reception desk and then walked out to the car...Climbing in and making my way home.
I walked into the front door to find Esme asleep on the sofa...I paced over to her as quietly as I could and kissed her cheek before turning the bedside lamp off and pulling the blanket that was resting on her feet over her whole body..She did not move once.
"I love you, mom" I whispered to her and then left to walk up the stairs.
I glanced once inside Bella's room and closed the door completely...I opened my own bedroom door and almost jumped out of my own skin when I saw Alice and Emmett both look up at me from my bed..Apologetic looks on their faces.
I don't know what came over me in that moment...I sobbed allowing the tears fill up my eyes and fall down my cheeks as I walked over to my bed and collapsed in the middle of my brother and sister...Alice leant her head on mine and Emmett wrapped his arm around my middle...I allowed myself to cry and my siblings did not say anything to me...They didn't need to I knew that they were shedding tears themselves.
Sitting here as a three with Alice and Emmett was strange...We had always been a three until a few months ago and now our own once-perfect jigsaw was now incomplete.
Our now-perfect number of four wasn't there.
Bella wasn't here....
And I hated it.
*~Carlisle~*
'Accept the things that you cannot change and begin to change the things you cannot accept' (My personal life quote)
I left the hospital later than I had expected to...I had gone to great lengths to make sure that Bella would be under constant supervision by my colleagues until could look after her myself in the morning...
"I am sorry to hear about your daughter again, Carlisle" Frank said as we walked out into the hospital car lot.
"Thanks Frank...There's not much I can do now but make sure that she gets better"
"Indeed...She will be fine, she is a little fighter...I knew it the first time she came here"
"I just hope that she can pull through this...I don't know what my family would do if we ever lost her"
Frank said nothing else as we climbed into the car.
A sickly feeling took over my stomach as Frank pulled up into my driveway.
"Thank you, Frank" I said as I released my seat belt from my body
"You're welcome, Carlisle..Have a good night"
I climbed out and waved at Frank as he drove off...I got to put my hand on the doorknob as I stood still for a moment...I was returning to the scene of my crime after all.
After composing myself I walked in to find my beautiful Esme sleeping on the sofa...I dropped my keys on the table and knelt down in front of her...I leaned in to kiss her nose..Her eyes immediately fluttered open.
"Oh Carlisle" she exclaimed as I moved my lips down to hers and kissed her lovingly as she had taken one of her hands out of the blanket to stroke my cheek.
Once I broke our contact I stared into her eyes.
"Is Bella going to be okay. Sweetheart?" She asked me quietly
"I have a feeling that she is going to be just fine...I can be sure as you know with me I can't make fixed decisions"
Esme nodded and yawned...Suddenly putting her hand to her mouth.
"Come on" I said as I tangled my arms underneath her legs and picked her up with the blanket still around her....Esme placed her head in my neck and kissed it feverishly as I led her up the stairs to our bedroom.
The rest of the house was quiet and I assumed that everyone else had been asleep.
I cuddled up to Esme as we both lay in our beds...For the first time we were in our day clothes and not our pyjamas...I couldn't help but think that things weren't the same.
Bella was not here and I knew that this was all partially my own fault.
But I would stick by her recovery process and make sure that she fought this...
If it were the last thing that I would ever do
I owed her that much and I loved her too much to stand by and watch her fall.
Soo Mike and Bella are over....!
He won't be gone completely though...Some people have a way of haunting you !
Next TWO chapters will be all about Bella's recovery before I skip to the FIRST Cullen Xmas after those.
Thanks again for sticking with this story...If you are VERY lucky I will update TWO chapters today if I can get my laptop working...Fingers crossed.
Songs for this chapter were: 'In the arms of an angel' – Sarah McLaughlin
'Surrender' – Evanescence and Within Temptation
Love to you all....! x
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