Author's note: So that was a long hiatus… I'm sorry. But life got in between and so did two chapters of my other story Gamble Everything For Love.

But I'm back on track now. And I've got a new chapter for you all. Maybe not as drama-packed as usual but there are so much stuff coming up that we need a little 'everyday-life'.
I hope you enjoy it anyway. Personal thank you's are at the end.

The title and lyrics for this chapter is from the song 'Moving Forward' by Hoobastank.

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CHAPTER 27 – At Least I'm Moving Forward

I stand before a road that will lead
into the unknown - at least unknown to me.
I want to go, but I'm paralyzed with fear.
Fear of a choice, where the outcome isn't clear.

But still I go...

It's been almost two weeks since that night they all went to TRIC and most of Brooke's days since then have been pretty much the same. School in the morning, then lunch spent in the library with Lucas while he kept trying to prepare her for the finals. Afternoons she spent in the hospital, keeping Haley company, unless she had a shift at the café. In those cases she went to the hospital after dinner.

Today is a little different though. This morning she took her last final, the dreaded one in Calculus, and now she has the whole day off. So instead of spending it in the early summer sun, sweating with the weight of her now big belly, she's sitting in Haley's air-conditioned room at Tree Hill Memorial Hospital, talking about all the fears that keeps raging in her mind.

So far the little boys inside Haley had been kept from being born far too early. Her water hadn't really broken, just dripped, and they had managed to stop the contractions. But since then Haley has been on strict bed-rest and they all know it could be at any time now. Brooke knows that her friend is bored out of her mind in her hospital-bed but as the doctor had said; 'Every day in the womb counts…' so Haley stays put, being the responsible person she is, and is now down to less than eight weeks. And Brooke admires Haley's almost serene calmness. With a little more than ten weeks left, Broke herself is already freaking out.

"Aren't you scared?" she asks and sips her ice-tea slowly. "I mean, how am I supposed to squeeze out something the size of a basketball out of a hole that small? It has to hurt like hell…"

Haley nods, sitting up halfway in her hospital bed. "Yeah, well I have to do it twice so I say you're at least better off than me…"

Brooke shoots off an apologetic halfsmile in Haley's direction and moves a little to get comfortable on Haley's bedside. "Oh, I didn't think of that. But you seem so calm, tutor-girl. I feel like I'm going to flip out any second…"

She fiddles with the hospital-blanket with her free hand and sighs. "Lately I've been thinking that maybe the baby could just stay inside me, you know? I mean, being pregnant isn't all that bad and that way I wouldn't have to go through childbirth at all."

Haley laughs now and grabs her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be fine Brooke. Lucas will be there, and me too if you want me to. And by then I've done it, so I can tell you all about how it's going to be, okay? I bet it won't be as bad as we think… I really can't wait for this damn pregnancy to be over, I feel like a bloated whale."

Brooke can't help but think that Haley is delusional for being so positive. She herself is scared shitless. And not so much about the pain, although that of course frightens her too, but mostly about seeing her baby. Holding her daughter for the first time and maybe dropping her, not being able to feed her or plainly to see her and not instantly feel that love that everybody kept talking about in parenting-class.

"So are you going to breastfeed?" Haley asks and picks up the little sweater she is knitting.

Brooke frowns, making a face as she ponders Haley's question. She hasn't even thought about this. Will she? And if so, how would she do it? Again she is painfully reminded that she is completely oblivious when it comes to newborn babies and she sigh again, deeper this time.

"Listen Hales, my biggest worry should be if prom-night will be a hit or not" she says with a slight annoyed pitch to her voice. "I don't really want to think about breastfeeding or diaper-changes. I can't believe that you wont be there… it's gonna suck sooo much going to prom without you and Nate."

"I know Tigger. But you and Lucas will have a great time. You'll have Rachel and Bevin there and Mouth. And I know that you will look so beautiful. Do you still plan on coming by here before the party? I really want to see you in the dress…"

Brooke nods affirmatively, but her mind is somewhere else. She wants to ask Haley something she's been thinking about, but she's not sure how. Haley is going to be super-mom and she has probably not even thought about all the weird things that Brooke keeps thinking about.

"Well tutor-wife… and tutor-babies…" she says and plants a kiss on Haley's enormous belly, "I have to get going. I'm meeting Bevin for a quick coffee before me Lucas have that parentingclass-thingy…"

"Oh, that's right… it's the breathing-class today. I really wanted to go to that… Well tell Bevin I said hi. And I'll see you later tonight with Lucas and Nathan, right?"

"You bet!" She shoots off a dimpled smile and gets off the bed, before heading towards the door. And when she reaches it she turns. "Be good now Hales. And don't let those guys out…"

Haley laughs and waves her off and Brooke smiles back, but as soon as she turns the corner and gets out into the corridor her smile fades. Too much is on her mind, and fake-smiling for Haley is starting to feel exhausting.

At least I'm moving forward…

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"So mom, where do you want this?" Lucas shouts from the spare room that Karen is making into a nursery.

His mother waddles in through the door and points at a corner and he gladly puts the heavy dresser down. He's been at this all morning, since he doesn't have classes today, and he's starting to get tired of her changing her mind all the time.

Karen sits down in the rocking chair and looks at the almost finished room in what seems to be a content smile before she turns to him.

"Did Brooke hear anything from the doctor yet?" she asks and he shakes his head.

"About the paternity-test? No, but her mom said that it could take up to three weeks before she gets the results… And honestly I don't know what's best… I mean, on one hand I don't want her to get the results and maybe have them destroy prom-night for her, and on the other hand I just want the doctor to tell us. I know she worries about it and it can't be good for either her or the baby. She has so much to worry about even without all that drama…"

He's been thinking about it a lot the past two weeks, and he knows that Brooke does too. But she keeps her head up and keeps smiling and he has to say that he's pretty damn proud of how she's been holding up. Brooke had been a rock lately, especially for Haley, but her calm exterior didn't hide the fact that she was stressing over her situation with her parents. At least not from him. Before she might have tricked him, but lately they had been in tune in an almost strange way and she didn't have to say anything for him to know that she worried.

"Well Mary called again today to check up on her" his mom says and rubs her belly. "If anything good has come out of this entire ordeal then that is that Brooke and her mother seem to be getting along better and better, right?"

Lucas sighs and shrugs. Maybe his mother is right but he knows that most of it is mostly a façade. On the inside his beautiful and strong girlfriend is furious at her mother for not being a 100 percent sure about who had fathered her. He looks down at his watch and seeing that it is close to twelve o'clock he wipes the sweat of his forehead.

"I gonna go grab a shower. I have to meet Brooke in forty minutes. We have that 'breathing-class' or whatever it's called."

His mother nods and gives him that proud mother's-smile. "Have fun. I'll be going down to the café for an hour or two, but I'll see you both later. Dinner at six, remember?"

"At six" he confirms before closing the door to the bathroom, then he turns on the hot water and gets out of his clothes. The house is silent and as he steps into the shower he can't help but wonder how different it is all going to be in just a couple of months. His mom will live here with his little brother or sister, and he and Brooke and their newborn daughter will be off to be a family in their own apartment in college. He looks forward to it. But of course he worries.

He is after all Lucas Scott.

And at least I'm moving forward

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It's getting close to one o'clock when they get out of Brooke's little WV beetle and head towards the house where the parenting-class is held. Brooke is still not too found of these classes but Lucas always seems so exited about it that she can't do anything else but to nicely tag along. The only person who usually seems just as suspicious as herself is Nathan but today she can't even share that secretive look saying 'what the hell have we gotten ourselves into?' with him, since he is in school taking a math-final and Haley is in the hospital.

The lobby is full of couples and after a quick glance around Brooke decides that her expectations have been right, this whole thing is going to be torture. As usual most of the couples are over thirty, and now when Nathan and Haley aren't there, no other couple is as young as Lucas and herself. Just during the short minutes that they stand there waiting for the door to open, several of the older pregnant women manages to point and whisper in a not to subtle way.

"Here we go again…" she sighs and Lucas squeezes her hand.

"Try to be a little positive Cheery."

She hears the slight sarcastic tone in his voice and when Mrs. Clark, the 'teacher' in the class, opens the door to let all of them in, she shrugs back at her blond boyfriend and mumbles a grumpy "Whatever…" before she makes herself comfortable on one of the big bean-bags placed on the floor, ready to 'play nice' for Lucas' sake. But just fifteen minutes later she has to use all her energy not to burst out in laughter. She feels like a complete idiot, leaning on Lucas and practicing the stupid breathing-techniques with all the other couples, and she turns her head up at Lucas.

"This is ridiculous" she whispers out of the corner of her mouth as Mrs. Clark orders them to breathe together once more. "I don't need to learn how to breathe in and out. I've known how to do that my entire life!"

And for the first time since they started going to these classes her boyfriend actually seems to agree. He presses the hand over his mouth to silence his own laugher and when the teacher tells them to 'take five' he winks at her.

"Lets get out of here" he mouths and pulls her up into standing position. "Lets go do something productive instead."

She gladly follows him and once out through the doors she lets the laughter come bubbling out. "I guess I finally rubbed off on you" she giggles. "Who would have thought that Lucas Scott would be the one to suggest that we'd actually skip class?"

"Well…" he says and slaps her butt playfully. "I live with the queen of avoiding classes so I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. Now get into the car…"

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I wonder if the journey will be
short as I hope, or much longer than it seems.
But either way, I've made up my mind.
I'm through feeling scared, I'm leaving that behind.

Instead of practicing breathing, they went to the mall. And for two hours they had friendly fights over what stroller to buy for the baby. At the end it looked like Brooke would win, which would have meant the latest model of the Urban Jungle three-wheeled buggy, but after finding out that the pink version was out of stock she changed her mind and they were back at square one. Laughing, he had told her that it was probably easier to solve world-hunger than shopping with her and she agreed. And by then it was already five o'clock and time to head back home.

Dinner with his mother was uneventful and now he passes time in front of his laptop while Brooke showers. They're supposed to meet Nathan at eight to go to the hospital and have a boardgame-night with him and Haley but since it's only five minutes past seven, he takes his time to write some. As usual he kind of drifts off into the words and he hasn't even heard his girlfriend come into the room. When he finally looks up Brooke is in front of the mirror, brushing her hair, and he watches her with a smile on his face.

He loves her hair. It's thick and lustrous, and the natural waves in it frame her face perfectly. He wonders what color their baby's hair will be and again he silently hopes that their daughter will look just like her.

"Don't ever cut your hair Brooke" he says. "I love it when it's long like this."

She smiles back at him in the mirror and puts the brush down.

"No? Cause I was thinking of cutting in like a really short boyish hair-cut just in time for the prom…"

He makes a face and she giggles. He's not taking her seriously though. She loves her hair too and he knows that she probably had both her dress and hair-do figured for months already. With only four days until the big night she is probably set on every little detail.

"By the way" he says suddenly remembering. "What are you wearing? Can I see the dress?"

"Uh-uh" she answers and shakes her head so that the dark waves bounces around her face. "It's going to be a surprise. But it's olive-green, if you need to know for the flowers. And I've picked out suits for you and Nathan as well. Actually I did that weeks ago… But I guess we can return Nathan's."

She pulls her newly brushed hair up on top of her head and turns towards him, and he holds his breath. It's the logic thing to do because she's absolutely breathtaking.

"Brooke…" he says breathing out. "What am I going to do with you?"

He walks over grabs her by the loops of her jeans, pulling her towards him. Her laughter fades as he kisses her hungrily, their bodies quickly falling into a familiar frenzied rhythm. She hasn't had time to put a shirt on yet and she's only wearing her jeans and a lacy white bra. Now she presses against him, the two of them skin to skin, and his hands begin to dance over her body, slowing their pace.

He outlines invisible trails across her breasts and her round stomach, exploring every inch of her as if he is seeing her for the first time. A throbbing ache of want begins to spiral through him and he can feel her form starting to quiver, although she tries uselessly to rein it in. She's probably expecting him to pull away at any moment. But he doesn't.

"We'll be late…" she whispers and her hot breath is tickling the skin of his neck.

"I don't care. Let them wait."

He leans her back down on the bed and pulls the jeans that she's just put on back off. Her peach-soft skin looks tanned against the white sheets and he strokes her thigh slowly. It's past seven thirty and the room is only lit up by the street-lights outside but even in the semi-darkness her tattoo catches his eye. He trails the outlines of it with his finger and her lips curve into a sexy smile.

"Remember that night?" she asks huskily and he nods. How could he ever forget it? They have come so far since then but even now, seven months into her pregnancy, she still turns him on just as much as that first time. Honestly, even more…

Without saying anything he leans down and kisses the skin just above the Chinese symbol, then just below, and she shivers underneath him. His hand is still stroking her thigh but now on the inside and when he sticks out his tongue and lets it follow the tattoo's outline in the same path his finger just trailed, she moans.

He loves that sound. The soft moans that slip from her unconsciously, and the hitched breath when he moves his hand upwards her thigh a little more and swiftly brushes his fingers over her center.

He keeps his lips towards her skin, trails her stomach with kisses until he reaches the valley between her breasts. One of her hands has found its way to the back of his neck and she pulls him closer to her, while her other hand clutches handfuls of the white sheet.

"Don't tease me…" she breathes when he plays with the tip of his tongue around her nipple and he smiles before he finally sucks it into his mouth. When he lets go and she pulls him up to her own lips, he whispers; I'm not gonna tease you… I'm gonna please you. Believe me."

And he means it. Sure they would be late meeting Nathan, hell, maybe they wouldn't make it to board-game night at all… but Nathan would understand. With twins on the way his brother had to be aware of how little time parents to newborn babies had for themselves.

Brooke's free hand tugs at his basketball-shorts and he raises himself and steps out of them. While standing he looks at his girlfriend and spontaneously bursts out; "I'm a lucky bastard…"

She giggles and pulls him down again, seemingly satisfied that she almost has him naked too now.

"Why is that, Mr Scott?" she asks and caresses his toned abs with her fingertips.

"Because I've been seeing this girl for a while now… actually she is about seven months pregnant with my child." He leans in and kisses her. "And you know what? She is absolutely amazing… beautiful, smart, sexy…"

"You must really love her then…" Brooke purrs against his lips and as he leans down to kiss her belly, he says. "Yes, more than she'll ever know."

Her hands find their way into his short hair and her breathing becomes shallow as he kisses his way down between her thighs.

"Keep doing that and she will understand soon…" she whispers with a raspy voice just before he darts his tongue out and licks her center.

After that she doesn't do much more talking… and neither does he.

-----

Two more days passes and Haley is going nuts out of sheer boredom. How many soap-operas could a girl watch before she seriously went insane? Haley doesn't know, but she figures that after a couple of more days like this she will get the answer…

She knows that Nathan and all her friends does everything to keep her entertained, but lately Nathan's protectiveness is driving her somewhat crazy, and if she got one more visit from the girls on the cheer-squad she would soon climb the walls.

The only person that can even begin to understand how extremely bored she is, is Brooke. And Brooke's visits are also pretty much the only ones she looks forward to. Yet, as she listens to her brunette friend as she re-caps her school-day she can't help but to think that Brooke seems a little spaced out.

"Hey…" she says softly and interrupts Brooke mid-sentence. "I get it if you're bored and don't want to be here. I would have left already if I could."

But Brooke just shakes her head no.

"Sorry Hales. It's not that I'm bored hanging out here with you… I just keep having all these weird thoughts…"

"Like what?" she asks, suddenly curious. Brooke's mind is never predictable and maybe these 'thoughts' could make an interesting addition to her otherwise uneventful day.

Brooke seems to hesitate and Haley gives her an encouraging look. She is probably thinking about all the drama with her parents again, Haley thinks to herself. Today was after all the day when the results from the paternity test would be revealed. But when Brooke finally talks, she realizes that this has nothing to do with Brooke possible father.

"How would you feel if the twins came out and looked… well… not cute?"

Haley laughs. "What do you mean? All babies are cute."

But Brooke doesn't seem convinced. She also looks a little embarrassed as she continues.

"No they don't Haley. Some are actually really ugly… and what if I give birth to a kid that looks weird. She could get teased in school… and what if I can't connect with her you know…"

It's not that she doesn't get what Brooke is trying to say. It's just that she can't figure out where all of this is coming from. So she repositions herself on the bed so that she can give Brooke a hug and then she says;

"It's not possible for you and Luke to get an ugly baby hunnie. Your daughter is going to be a perfect doll and you know it! Just look at yourself Brooke. How could a baby that will be half you ever not be cute?"

Brooke sighs but at least she smiles now. "Thanks Tutor-mom. I'm just overly emotional I guess… I've been waiting for that stupid call from my mom the whole morning and I don't know… I guess I'm just worried that I'll mess up my baby's life just like my parents are messing up mine."

Right at that moment Brooke cell phone sounds from inside her purse and they both flinch from the loud signal. Haley watches as Brooke pulls the phone out and says "It's my mother…" Then her brunette friend slowly puts the cell to her ear.

"Hi mom…"

The room is quiet except for the silent murmur coming from Brooke's mother on the other end. Brooke nods now and again, mumbles a silent 'yes' or 'okay', and then, before Haley has any time to figure out what is being said, the conversation is over.

Brooke closes her cell phone and tiredly gets of the bed with her hand pressed against the small of her back.

"I need to go…" she says silently and starts to leave the room.

"Brooke… come on sweetie, tell me what she said…"

But her brunette friend just walks out and Haley is left watching her back as she disappears through the door. Sighing, she pulls out her own cell and punches in Lucas' number. And when he answers she just says;

"Luke, you need to call your girlfriend… Brooke's mom just called and she left looking all zoned out…"

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Lucas is driving slowly up and down the streets in between the hospital and his mom's house in search for his girlfriend. After Haley called him he had tried Brooke's cell phone but it was turned off. He figured that she would come straight home, she usually came straight into his arms for protection when she felt sad even if she didn't always tell him the reason for her tears, but he had waited for half an hour and still no Brooke.

Another call to Haley confirmed that Brooke's little blue beetle was still parked in the hospital parking-lot, and that's when he decided to go look for her.

'She can't have walked that far…' he thinks. She is after all seven months pregnant. But then again, his girlfriend is as stubborn as a cold in the spring, and if she wanted to, he's sure she could walk all the way to New York, even in stiletto heals.

During the last fifteen minutes he has looked at the River Court, under the bridge where she and Peyton used to hang out and at the beach, but so far no sight of her. He isn't really worried, Brooke does this from time to time. But he guesses that she is sad and it pains him to think that she might be crying alone.

He hasn't realized what street he is driving down until Brooke's old house comes into view. It stands there, big and shiny white in the early summer sun, with the door as red as ever. And as he looks up the driveway, he sees her. On the side of her house there's a big oak-tree, and from one of it's branches hangs a swing he has never noticed before. Brooke is sitting on it, swinging slowly back and forth, and he parks the car and gets out.

She sees him walking up, but she doesn't say anything so he decides to give her a little more time. Instead he walks around the swing and starts to push it to give her speed, as if she was a little girl.

"I love you, you know…" he says softly and she mumbles;

"I know…"

For a couple of minutes this is all he does. Pushing her as she swings. But finally he has to ask.

"What did your mom say Brooke?"

She puts her feet down in the gravel to stop the swing and she turns to him. Her face has a somewhat melancholic expression but it doesn't look like she has been crying.

"I'm a Davis, alright…" she says calmly. "My dad is my biological father."

"Well… that's good, right?"

"I guess."

"Then why do you look so sad baby?" he asks softly and carefully holds her face between his hands. At first she's just silent and her eyes travel up to the house where she used to live, and to the window that had been hers.

"Last night I was lying awake thinking…" she finally says, still without looking at him. "…and I thought that if he wasn't my dad, then that would explain a lot of things. I mean, he never cared about me unless he needed me to be pretty at some social event, and I kept thinking that maybe it was because he somehow knew that I wasn't his…"

Lucas sighs and strokes away loose strands of hair from her face.

"Oh, pretty girl…"

"No, I'm okay" she says, raising her head a little. "It's just that now I have to realize once and for all that it has nothing to do with that. I have to come to terms with the fact that he's just not capable of loving me. Maybe it's my fault, or maybe he's just a heartless bastard. But either way…"

She stands up and finally lets him hold her. He hugs her for a long time, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and perfume, before whispering into her hair;

"It has never been your fault Brooke. It's not possible for any normal human being not to love you…"

Her pregnant belly presses into him and he smiles when he feels their baby kick even through two layers of clothing.

"At least now we know" she states and looks up one final time towards the house where she spent her childhood, and he gets that feeling again. The feeling of just wanting to reverse time and make sure she got the loving family she deserved. But he can't. So instead he bends down and kisses her temple.

"It wouldn't have mattered to me either way. I fell in love with the girl behind the red door, and I will always love her. Where ever she lives or whoever her parents are…"

And as she hugs him back, he continues whispering;

"We'll be a family soon Brooke… You, me and the baby."

And I take the first step of a million more.
And I'll make mistakes I've never made before.
But at least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward.
At least I'm moving forward, at least I'm moving forward.

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Author's note: That's the end of chapter 27, and I bet you're all sitting there thinking; 'So what happened to Peyton? What did she realize?' But don't worry, I'll get to that in the next chapter, which will also be prom-night in Tree Hill… And prom always calls for drama, right?

Keep the BL-faith!

/Lynn

Thank you's:

Tiffany Rae: You are amazing, you know that right? That review was nothing less then fantastic. So long and so thought through… And it's sooo okay that you are negative about the Peyton-thing and about them getting closer. Believe me, I'm negative too LOL. In the next chapter it all becomes a little clearer, I wonder what you will feel after that… ;)

Again, I LOVE your long reviews! LOVE THEM!!!

Marap: I love that all my girls from the thread has started popping up. Maybe I should be proud of this fic, but most of all I'm proud of having you all as my readers. Your review made me blush and I'm so happy now. Thank you.

B. Davis: Cami, lol, did you see this coming though? Me finally updating? I guess all the happiness in the thread finally got me to pull my foot out of my ass and produce a chapter. I love everyone of your reviews hunnie, and you know it. A chapter isn't a chapter until it has a review from you.

Brucasss: I agree, go Brucas! And was that enough BL-loving for you? LOL Thank you so much.

Jeytonbrucasnaley: Cheyenne, first of all, thanks for the review. ;) Second, I know I had two great opportunities for BL-sex and took none. This time (if you count GEFL) I had no opportunities, but managed to give you BL-sex either way… Lol, there must be something wrong with me.

Wishinonastar: Hannie, you're my rock! Thanks for your help last night and letting me ramble on about my problems with this story. And as always, thanks a million for a wonderful review!
I laughed so much when I read your suggestions for names for the naley-babies… that could be confusing if anything… But of course it is genius, because well, you're genius!

Eemah93: No cliffhanger this time. LOL. And I haven't killed off Haley's babies either. What can I say? I'm simply a sucker for BL-love and since my other story has a kind of angsty approach to their relationship, then the romance in this is even more important. I love your reviews. Thank you.

Dolzegracia: Where the heck I am? LOL. Believe me, I wonder that too sometimes… Thanks for the review. It's nice to see that you're still reading this.

Denise: Sorry for depriving you of all the BL-hotness LOL. But you got some in this chapter, and even more in the latest update on GEFL, right? I'm so glad that you're still liking this story hun. And I love that you give me all these fantastic reviews…

BrookeScott134: Oh, don't die! I know I was bad for waiting so long with updating this but I hope I'll be faster this time. I don't even know why this update took me so long… Thank you so much for your review. They all make me update faster.

Laurrr: Thank you! I guess you'll have to wait a little longer for the naley-babies, but not that much longer… and I hope that the BL-love now makes up for interrupting it last chapter. :)

Brucas831: Welcome! You are in good company because I don't like all the Leyton on OTH either. You'll have to wait until next chapter to see what Peyton realized but I hope you'll keep reading this. Thanks.

Awhero: A cliffhanger huh? Then I bet you're kind of disappointed now… LOL. Well, all in due time, as they say. The slow BP interaction will pick up pace soon. Thank you so much for your review.

BrucasForeva: A huge thank you! I'm a fanfiction-addict too and I'm glad that you think I'm doing a good job with portraying their emotions. I hope that I will continue doing that. :)

Brucas333: Welcome to the story! I'm glad you've caught up and that you still like it.

Iluvmedou: Natalie, Welcome to my story! I'm so happy for your review because stiring emotion is just what I'm trying to do. To make people feel brooke and lucas… I hope I can do that in the upcoming chapters as well.

Loezzje, Eunice101, Brucas3, Naley4ever323, Sassha, catcat51092, treehillraven4life, courtneylovesjason, tardychick, SmileLikeYouMeanIt, BrucasIsl0ve3, Vanessa and MrsScott323: Thank you all soooo much. Every review you guys send me warms my BL-heart and gets me to want to update faster. I'm so grateful!