WOW there were some NEW reviewers on last chapter....THANK YOU it means so much to see that my story is spreading slowly .
List of Thank YOUs: 'Raven Jadewolfe, Katie Lou Lou, hmwhitlock2000, MissWicca, ajayee, EllaJ 18, cullengirl08, Sylvia Cullen, Moon Shadow, Dodger McClure and 00chely00' I am SO glad that you liked last chapter....! Lots of love.
I do not own Twilight....I own AML (I keep forgetting to do that!)
On with Chapter 28 :D
Just to warn you that this chapter is ALL in BPOV...This is HER time in the story and she will be very surprised as to what's in store later.
*~Bella~*
(January)
Even though I preferred England over America I could never prefer living the way I used to at my mum's house when I have the Cullens'...After a long flight mum and I got a taxi back to our house (of course all of the drivers drive on the opposite side to what I have been used to) and the fares were cheaper...My mum just had enough money left over for the driver and I hadn't been to a cash machine yet to withdraw some money from the card Carlisle had given me.
I stepped out of the taxi and looked up at the house...I didn't know whether to feel happy that I was back again or sad that my house was NOT the Cullens'...I had shed a few tears looking at the chipped and murky exterior that used to be the whitest of whites and the leaning black fence that also used to be white...The grass hadn't been cut and was climbing up to our ankles...I dreaded then to think about what the inside looked like...There had been a period of time where mum would have kept on top of the household duties but then when she would have a drink she would simply give up and sit down all day and do nothing...She had lost her job years ago before I had been taken to Sandgrove and so she wasn't earning a penny...I had only owned one outfit besides my school uniform before entering Sandgrove and so when Alice had given me all the clothes she did I promised myself that I wouldn't wish to have them for always and when I would eventually go back home I would not rub it in my mum's face that my new family have got money and do live comfortably ...Something that I never had done with her.
The inside was no better...I have never seen our house so dirty...I wanted to hit my mum for abandoning it and allowing herself to live like this but there were so many reasons as to why she didn't have the time for one she had been in hospital for the last...Well actually I don't know how long she spent there and well...If the house had no one living in it to keep it clean then it wasn't fair to assume that my mum had lived comfortably in recovery.
I would have to be the one to clean everything from now on...Mum was getting weaker and it was more obvious this month like now I do not believe that she would be able to get on a plane at all...It saddened me that I was watching my mum slowly deteriorate in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it. She had refused medication...At least that is what she said.
"Yoo-hoo...Bella!" I knew that voice anywhere...It must have been mid-January although I had no concept of the date or even what day it was anymore...I was in the front garden trimming down the hedges with a pair of hedge clippers that I didn't even realise we owned...It's amazing what you can find when you look into a shed for the second time in your whole life...I was a mix between cold and hot in temperature and my legs were killing me...My neighbour Mrs Brown skipped my way...My mum had gone to have a lie-down and so I was going to be the one to have green fingers.
"Hi Mrs Brown" I said attempting to be as enthusiastic as she was to see me...But I missed Edward too much to be purely happy..I knew that I would be complete once I was with him again but for now I had decided to keep busy and that is what I was doing.
"Ducky...We haven't seen you for months..How have you been?!" Clearly Mrs Brown the usual town gossip hadn't heard about me being adopted and moving to America. I put the clippers down and stood up...Brushing the dirt off my trousers as I went.
"I have been away just on a break...Mum insisted" I said trying to keep the talk about myself and my mum's personal life to a minimum.
"Ahh well you look good considering you are gardening...So you going back to school?"
"Yes...Well hopefully"
"Good....Look if you need anything my lovie don't hesitate to knock on my door" she remarked...If we need anything? Since when has she offered to do us ANY favours...I am not going to be given a cup of tea and forced to spill all...I may be young but I am not stupid!
"Thank you very much" I answered clenching my teeth down hard.
"I better be off...We have another W.I. meeting...Toodles" Mrs Brown skipped off and can I just say that that was the last time I ever saw her or she ever saw me...Don't get too friendly with neighbours in ANY country you never know what kind of games they want to play.
So the rest of the month had gone abysmally slow...I tried everything I could to maintain a smile for my mum but it had always been hard. Edward called me every night...Our conversations were varied sometimes we could talk for hours and sometimes it would just be a simple 'Hi and How are you' I was lying to him...I would always say that everything was okay when it wasn't...It wasn't long into the month before my mum couldn't leave her bed and so I would have to run her errands as well as do everything else in the house...I was back in my childhood again. I didn't have the heart to say to Edward how much I needed him he couldn't come all the way over here to see me....He had his own things to do and I didn't want to get in the way...I never asked him so far and I didn't plan to my mum was deteriorating slowly and it would only be a matter of time and I would be prepared I had to be.
Alice and Rosalie had also been frequent callers...Of course during my conversations with Alice she would put Jasper on to say hi and the same would go with Rosalie and Emmett...They did seem so far away even though they were in reality...You never know what you have until you lose it and I was beginning to see that now...Carlisle and Esme were also keeping contact with me...I could tell when they were speaking that they were trying to keep everything normal but like me, deep down they were suffering as much as I was. I had known deep down that they all loved me but now I couldn't ever say otherwise.
It fell on the 23rd when I started receiving letters from my school...Apparently they had heard that I was back and they wanted me to enrol my old place there...How could I go back to my school here when I had only just gotten used to the way the Americans learnt? I ripped all of them up hoping that my mum would never see them..She would force me to go back and learn as much as I could to get far in life but knowing my track record of luck I would go to school one day and come back to find my mum dead and I would regret having not said goodbye to her and I vowed when I was very young once I had learnt what the word regret was, of course, to not have any in my life...And so far I didn't.
The weather had gotten colder and we had a fair amount of snowfall but that was typical for England it was very much like Forks in the way that the sun hardly ever shone and you would always end up with a numb nose at the end of each day.
Our house did not have electricity or hot water either...I had the honour of calling up various different companies to ask that we have our insurance renewed...How could mum have lived
like this??
I was emotionally and physically drained and there wasn't an option to sit down in the middle of the day because there were things that needed to be done...Plumbers, electricians, repairmen coming in and out each day...I had used the card Carlisle had given me feeling slightly guilty that it was his money I was paying all this work done with and not my own...I was also very excited about the job that Alice had hooked me up with...When I couldn't sleep at night...Which was often considering my mind would never be able to rest I would think about what I would be doing if I were back in Forks...I couldn't think about it for too long because I would always end up crying..Someone needed to be strong in the remains of this family and it HAD to be me.
I didn't have much to say for my trip back in England...Only a few people knew that I was back and I wanted to keep it that way...I missed my old school friends but they would have all moved on now...I did leave a good while ago, after all...So to find a good word to describe January...LONELY.
The days were spent cleaning and sorting the house and the nights would be spent talking to adopted family and getting around two hours sleep and some nights even less...I looked in the mirror each morning to see that the black rings under my eyes had increased slowly I began to look like a raccoon but I had abandoned the idea of using makeup...I wasn't going out anywhere and I wasn't seeing anybody so it didn't matter...I was living as a hermit so it would be best if I LOOKED like a hermit as well.
*February*
February had been no better...I was pleased that I was able to keep up with the house now so by doing the occasional flick around twice a week I wouldn't have to worry about the upkeep...Mum had been in bed for the last two and a half weeks I had offered to help her with various different things but she had always refused my help..She did the basics like washing but would go straight to bed afterwards...It was so hard to see her so weak...I had ignored calls from my family this month because it was all getting to be too much now and if I heard one of their voices then I would instantly breakdown and say that I needed help...I made this decision so I should be the one to follow it through...I would have to lie in the bed that I made.
The daily conversation between my mum and I was very little...She already seemed like she had gone which in a way made things a little easier for me because it wouldn't be much different when she was gone but she was my mum and even though she had done wrong on more than one occasion in my life I still needed her and I wanted her to be there for me in the future when I get married and have her grandchildren...I mean I am still young but every girl thinks about this kind of stuff, right? My grandkids would never have a grandmother or a grandfather that was connected to them by blood and even though they would have beautiful stand-in grandparents and other relatives in the Cullens...I knew things would never be the same.
My biological father would never walk me down the aisle and now neither would my biological mother...They wouldn't see the first steps of my children or the first day of school...Thinking about how I was now completely on my own..The last member of the Swan family hurt me like hell...Ten stabbing knives into my heart with no one here in England to see me bleed and rescue me.
The depression in my mind was still very much a part of me...I had improved greatly since I had told Edward I loved him because that was one of the things that was killing me the most but now, here in my house with all the memories coming back...I was finding it hard...I was finding it ALL hard.
I never saw any neighbours in this month either...It was normal that less people ventured out in England in the months of January and February because they were the coldest months of the year but you always saw SOMEONE...Maybe they all had the right idea and decided to stay away...Me and my mum were never sociable people and that's why when I first saw the Cullens and how they lived it threw me for six...Now, I wouldn't have it any other way.
One day this month I had finished all the house and then found that I was stuck on anything to do...I went up to my mum's room placing the small amount of food on the bedside table...I had eaten what was in the freezer..Which wasn't a lot but my mum was unpredictable with her eating patterns and since I would now try and face the world outside she needed to have something to eat and drink...She was asleep which made things a bit easier...I wasn't up for conversation I just needed some air...I got the large bottle of water off of her floor and poured some into the glass on her bedside table.
I left her room again and grabbed the front door keys off the little hook behind our front door...I also took Carlisle's coat and wrapped it over myself before stepping outside closing my front door behind me.
The one thing I could never diminish was the beauty of our little village...It had everything we needed even though if you closed your eyes on the one road it stands on you would miss it...There had never been anyone I knew living here with me or anyone that I happened to meet later in my school life...I was the only young person by a mile even though it had changed now...I was always living in my own bubble and that had been a clear indication about how I never went out in my past and had a good time...I was content with what I had and that was it...I didn't need anything else.
I pulled up the hood on the coat...It had began to drizzle and as much as I hated my hair at the moment because I had no energy to make it look any good I didn't want to catch a cold...My mum was ill enough for the both of us at the moment without me bringing more germs in the house.
I heard the church bell toll....The chime echoing through the abnormally quiet surroundings..As a child I would often see brides coming out of their wedding cars with their proud and smiling fathers on their arms...The bridesmaids would look happy and everyone would affect the overall atmosphere so even the people looking at the picture who would have their own issues in life would smile too. I had always loved the white dress and how it would flow...The weddings that were held here were people with taste...We always has the brides in white, at least the ones I had always seen and I had seen a good few. I would have that someday if a man loved me as much as I did him...I never thought it would be Edward..I didn't have that fantasy because we are too young but as much as I loved him now I don't think that we would end up loving each other in the same way about ten years from now...We would probably go back to being brother and sister again and that would suit me..As long as I had him IN my life in some way then I would be happy.
I reached the black iron gates of the church...I had never been religious or had any kind of faith growing up but my mum was a loving Christian in every way...She would take me to church on Sunday but she had always given me the choice to choose what I believed which was something that I would always appreciate her for.
My mum and I were well known in this church and the vicar had always been especially kind to me...I couldn't for the life of me tell you his name but I remembered what he looked like vaguely and I am sure that I would recognise him if I saw him again.
I paced up to the church wiping my feet on the doormat once I was fully inside...I pulled my hood down...There was an organ playing but there was no singing like I had been used to...The organ music used to make me sleepy as a child and I am pleased it doesn't now I am older.
The air in the church had a smell of old books and varnish but I wasn't complaining it was nice to be somewhere different besides my house...I sat down on the nearest row to me and looked straight ahead at the large statue of what I assumed was Jesus Christ along with a large window with pictures painted into the glass...I bowed my head as I listened to the music with as much concentration as I could....
I let my thoughts wonder under the influence of the Organ....Mum.....England.....Tiredness.....Edward....Esme....Carlisle....Alice..Emmett..Rosalie...Jasper....Death....Spirit....Souls.....Childhood.....Basically anything that came into my head...It was soothing now I was on my own and allowed to think about these things.
The music stopped suddenly on a funny key and I looked up to see that the man who had been playing was getting up off the stool...He turned to face me and smiled.
Well would you believe it? That was the vicar...The man I remember...I said I would recognise him...How was it possible he was still the vicar here? I hadn't seen him in years.
"Hello Bella Swan" He greeted me his voice echoing through the church...I was thankful that there wasn't anyone else in the church with me otherwise this would have been very embarrassing...I watched him walk over to me pulling his robe higher as he descended the steps...There was a large cross on his chest and he had the same white dog collar on his neck...He sat down next to me as I scooted a little to make room I had chosen to sit in the middle so that I wouldn't have an end to prefer...Like my bed back at the Cullens I chose to sleep in the middle...That was when Edward wasn't sleeping in there with me.
"It has been a long time, Bella...How have you been keeping?" The vicar asked me his gaze falling on the statue like mine had been when I first came in.
"I am sorry....That I am in here...I am not religious but I need to find somewhere to be rather than at home"
"You don't need to be religious to come to church; Bella...Would you like to talk about why you can't be at home?"
I looked over at him...If there was anyone I could talk to about my issues then it would have to be him..My mother had been talking to her friends once and she had been persuading them to join the church..She had stated that what is said in church goes nowhere else and so this seemed like the best option...I was already upset but I didn't want to get so upset that I picked up another razor blade again.
"My mum is dying" I said fighting back the tears....The vicar placed a hand on my shoulder.
"I am sorry to hear that, Bella...Is that why you are not in school?"
"I was....adopted....I live in America now...My mum couldn't look after me because she is an alcoholic and now...There is nothing I can do to save her."
"If God wants to take your mother then there is nothing going to stop him...It's just her time, Bella...We all have our time to die"
"Why does it have to be NOW?"
"I can't answer that, Bella...I preach the works of the lord I do not control what he does"
"It's just so hard"
"Bella...You are strong...Anyone can see that...The way that you have come back here with the intention of looking after your mum takes strength..She will always remember that Bella and she will always be with you...maybe not physically but in spirit"
"I don't believe in spirits...Surely once you die you die"
"Not necessarily, Bella...Look I do not know what it's like to have a member of my family die...I have experienced it a long time ago when I was a child but I don't remember how it felt. People grieve in different ways, Bella some find it a comfort to believe in an afterlife but it's your choice"
"I want a choice to have my mum live...Obviously I can't do that"
"If we all wanted to live and stay on this earth then there would be no room for new generations"
"What does God say about love?"
"Why do you ask that little Bella?"
"I just wondered...I remember hearing something my mum said once...You can never love someone fully unless you explore the physical side of your relationship with them?" I didn't help myself by saying the various different things that occupied my head but this man had been a vicar since I was a child and he must have heard this at least a million times from other people....I just found myself cringing slightly at the fact that I had mentioned sex to a man of obvious views and concrete faith...Oh jeez..This is a good way to make things more awkward, Bella...Next time...THINK!
"Consummating a relationship is normal, Bella...There are some people who believe that they shouldn't consummate until after marriage but it doesn't apply to everyone"
"What does God think that we should do?"
"He left this earth to us, Bella..So that we may take care of it for him...He would probably want you to do the thing that you thought was right"
"Even if it was doomed to be wrong or a possible disaster for the couple?"
"I think it's time for me to take this off" I looked back over at him and saw that he had taken off his dog collar with one move and was now unwrapping the cross from around his neck...I stared at him in amazement.
"What? I can be a normal man too" he said...He must have been able to see the shock plastered all over my face.
"I am sorry...I didn't m-"
"It's okay, Bella...Seeing as you are young and probably don't want me talking about God as if I owned his opinions..Which of course I don't I will talk to you just like a friend instead"
"I haven't had many friends"
"You have a voice though, Bella" he responded...The man had a point. "I fell in love with my wife when we were eighteen...I was a soldier in the war and it was Christmas break for all the troops...I decided this Christmas to stay at my best friend's house with his family and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made...I remember walking through the door and greeting his parents...They were the nicest couple I have EVER met...We talked for a while with them about the war and then he called his sister in..She had been hanging up washing outside and she turned round once he had called her and she smiled...From that moment I was hooked...Love is an unstoppable pull, Bella you can't ever prepare yourself for it"
"You're still married?"
"Yes...Coming up to our 50th this year...What I am trying to say, Bella is that if you want to go into that part of the relationship just be careful and make sure it is what you really want...Never do it just because the person you are with wants you to do it...It never works that way"
"I won't be able to talk to my mum about ANY of this"
"She will know and besides you said you were adopted...You have adoptive parents so you can always talk to them" ummm talking to Esme about the idea of having sex with Edward was something that I hoped I would never have to do...Now it's all I can think about...I had to go and bring all this up.
"So what do you suggest I should do about my mum?"
"Stay with her, Bella...She clearly needs you and if you can get out of the other side without causing any great harm you will be so much stronger as a person. Your mum was such an avid believer and we have missed her over the years...She will be missed but she will always have a place in the hearts of people who cared about her...Always" I let a tear go from my face and gave the vicar an appreciative smile.
"Thank you"
"The door is always open, Bella and I will be here if you ever need to let go again" he smiled at me and I smiled in response before standing up and walking out of the row...I never looked behind me as I pulled my hood back up and went out into the air again...I didn't need to...I was relieved.
For the first time since being back in England I felt good...Not ecstatic but my mind was clear although next time I spoke to a priest I demanded inwardly that I not bring up sex again...If I spent my time thinking about fully loving Edward in that way I would NEVER get ANYTHING done.
I walked back through the front door hooking my keys back on the hook and walking up to my mum's room to check on her...I opened the door and she was laying there a little smile on her overly pale features.
"Hello Bella" she croaked and I walked towards her...I felt bad considering I had been at church for longer than I had hoped.
"I am sorry, mom I just needed some air" I took her hand and sat in my chair beside her.
"It's okay sweetheart...I don't have much time left"
"What?" Not now...Please not now...!
"I can feel myself going...It's not like sleep it's like...I'm being pulled" mum's voice was so quiet that I could only just about hear what she was saying.
"No...Mum you can't leave me...Not right now..."
"I am sorry for doing this to you, my Bella. You have been so good to me...You have always been so good"
"Mum...Please?" I pleaded...Tears falling along with the sound of panic in my voice...I held her hand up to my cheek.
"You need to go and be with the boy you love...He is very good looking by the way" I gasped at her remark but it was more of a laugh then a sound out of shock "I am so proud of you, Bella"
"Mum..I don't want you to leave...I thought I would be prepared but I am not...Please" I choked out...I couldn't have her go now...It hadn't even been three months.
"I have to, Bella...You have been so strong, stronger than I could ever hope to be in my entire life...You need to go and live your life now, Bella"
"My life is nothing without you in it, mum....I am going to miss you so much"
"I will miss you too, Bella...I will miss making up for my mistakes by being there for you...I was such an awful mother"
"No....No...You made mistakes mum but so did I"
"Don't try and make me feel better now baby I know what I have done and I will always be sorry for the choice I made and how I decided to live my life...This is my time for remorse...Can you forgive me sweetheart?"
"There's nothing to forgive mum" The tears were really falling now...I knew that she was going and it broke me in half.
"Please honey?"
"Okay...I forgive you" mum smiled...Not like a normal smile a smile of relief...I held on to her hand tighter.
"Now I can go...I love you my darling Bella...Never stop believing that" she said her eyes fluttering closed...A sob broke through my body.
"I love you mum" I choked out...Then her eyes closed slowly...She was gone...Her chest would never rise and fall again and she would never stand again....I would never see her smile or have another hug from her
I cried into her hand...It had all been a shock...I had filled out what I came here to do to be with her when she went but it was still a surprise..I cried long into the night still grasping onto her hand hoping that somewhere she knew that I was still here and that my tears were for her and how much I was going to miss her and have her in my life.
*March*
All the funeral arrangements had been a nightmare to organise...The fact that my mum was dead still hadn't completely sunk in and I was lost as to what to do about her final send off but I had the help of the vicar and some other women who claimed to be in one of my mother's social clubs...I was grateful for any help this month and I didn't care if those people didn't particularly like having to do it...Odds are I would never see them again.
"Are you ready to go in now, Bella?" The vicar said to me as I stood outside glaring up at the church...I had intentionally not worn black I didn't have to wear a particular colour to show that I was grieving I turned to him and nodded before walking in.
There wasn't a huge number of people that had turned up and said goodbye to my mother but there were more than what I imagined there would be....They all shot me a sympathetic smile at some point whilst I made my way to my seat at the front..I sat down and stayed there until I would be welcomed up to speak.
There had been a few hymns that the vicar had said my mum liked...I felt a little ashamed that I didn't know any of her favourite hymns but brushed it off when the vicar invited me up to say a few words...I hadn't written anything down because I wanted to speak from my heart..I was trembling and I desperately wanted to cry but I needed to say goodbye to her properly..I placed both my trembling hands on the podium to hold myself up and began to speak.
"Renee..My mum made mistakes
Some that she may not be proud of
Others may say that she did not deserve to be a mother or others may disagree and say otherwise
As her only daughter I am here to prove you wrong and fight her corner as she had always fought mine...Mum was an unique and amazing lady who touched the lives of many people as I was growing up and she has never touched my life as she has right now...I have been further than rock bottom in my mind and I know how easy it is to want to punish yourself for things you can't control...I understand that my mum chose alcohol as an escape from reality and even though at times I hated her and I wanted to shake her and tell her to wake up...It was impossible...Mum made a choice to drink and in doing so she lost me but she also lost her identity...Mum's choice is now something she is paying the ultimate price for and that shows courage...The courage to know that you have done wrong and be genuinely sorry for it...which mum did the evening she died...Words can't describe how much I will always love and cherish my mother for the times she was there for me...I am more proud of her than I have been of anyone and so I hope that I grow up to be half the lady that she was one day and the lady mum will continue to be in our hearts.
This is my goodbye to Renee Maria Swan...My mother.
I will always love you."
I couldn't believe that I was able to get all of the words out...There was a loud applause after I had finished and that signalled the end of the service...I hadn't cried as much as I thought I would but I was pleased that my mum was at peace now wherever she was.
After watching my mum enter the ground...I said my goodbyes and thanks to everyone who had been so nice as to come today...Once everyone was gone the vicar rubbed my shoulder once and walked off with them...I however went over to a bench on the other side of mum's grave...I sat down and put my hands in my lap breathing in the cold air and watching the flowers on mum's and all the other graves sway slowly with the wind...I closed my eyes and let the wind wash over me.
I was about to allow myself to release all my tears when I felt something touch the centre of my nose...I opened my eyes and turned to the side to find someone who I never thought I would see.
"Edward?" I gasped...He smiled at me and kissed both my eyelids one after the other...Edward was here with me...Oh god how I had needed him and he was here! He leant forwards and caught my lips in a loving kiss...I melted into his chest placing both my hands on it and enjoying the feel of his lips on my own again..He introduced our tongues to each other once again allowing me to feel the familiar tingle that he sent through my body. How had he known mum had gone today? How had he got here at all? As much as I wanted to ask him these questions I was too busy loving him instead and so I couldn't bring myself to care.
I gasped uncontrollably as he disconnected our mouths...I could feel the trail of my tears down my cheeks...Edward grabbed both sides of my head and pulled my head forwards as he kissed my forehead...Down my nose...My chin...My jaw...I put my hands on his shoulders moving them from my chest I gripped him tightly not wanting him to leave me.
"I love you" Edward whispered into the skin at my jaw just underneath my ear..He worked his way down to my neck not leaving any area left to cool under the air around us.
"I missed you" I choked out...Edward lifted his head to connect our eyes together..He put both his hands on my cheeks and rubbed the tears from them and also from my eyes.
"I missed you too sweetheart...You look so tired my Bella" he soothed and I smiled...If only he knew how much sleep I had got in the last two months he would probably have a heart attack.
I sank into his chest again putting my head into the crook at his neck...My position was slightly awkward considering how I was sitting on the bench but Edward wrapped his arms around me all the same...I kissed the side of his neck as I heard him swallow above me.
"I am here, Bella...I will take care of you" Edward said as more of my tears fell onto his shirt..Edward rocked us slightly from side to side bringing one arm away from my body and running his fingers through my hair...I sighed contently...Now...Now I was finally home.
I didn't know how long I had spent in Edward's arms...I didn't care because the one person I cared about the most in my world was here...He came to see me and that meant more to me than whether he realised my mum had actually passed away on this day or not. Edward pulled me away after a second and held my face in his hands once more.
"Luckily I came prepared...I brought these for your mum" He leant down by his feet and brought up a large bouquet of white roses...I smiled at the full and pure blooms of the flowers.
"You want to go and put them on?" I asked him.
"Are you sure that's okay, Bella?"
"Of course" I answered him...He smiled, caressed my cheek and made his way over to mum's grave he knelt in front of it as I looked on.
I still couldn't believe that he was here...I would have to get used to it now I suppose...I burrowed my eyebrows as I saw Edward speaking to mum but I couldn't hear what he was saying...I made a choice not to pick up or ask him about that as it was clearly something that would have to be between him and my mum only...He came back hunching his shoulders as the wind blew once again...I stood up fully kissed him passionately again once he reached me...He responded and pulled the ends of his coat out from underneath me to place his coat around me..The warmness hitting my body..I put my arms around his waist feeling the muscular skin underneath and continued to enjoy the feeling of his kisses...I could spend my whole life kissing Edward and it would never be enough.
"I love you" I pulled away from his lips to say.
"Shall I take you home?" Edward whispered.
I nodded kissing his jaw once before turning my body to walk out of the graveyard...Edward had released the coat from around me and had tightly wrapped his hand in mine.
I spent the journey home on Edward's lap...It was strange how I had never seen him in a cab before...Edward trailed his finger around my face as I leant one side of my head on one side of his...Taking him all in as much as I could.
Edward carried me up to the house...I reached slowly for my keys in my pocket..I had never felt so tired and my body felt like a huge weight wanting to pull me down into the ground...I held the keys out limply half-awake and Edward took them and opened the door supporting me with one arm..He was so gentle and I could feel the buckle that his muscles made because he was keeping me upright.
"Edward...I can walk" I slurred.
"Don't be silly, Bella...Just sleep I am here now" he replied in a whisper.
That was the last thing I heard until I fell under in a much needed sleep.
Edward was here.
That was all that mattered now.
Aww Edward the little hero...I deliberately didn't do his POV because I wanted to surprise people :D.
ANOTHER emotional chapter for me...Hopefully I won't have another one for a while...!!
Love to all my readers...
Keep reviewing to keep me motivated...Your thoughts mean SO much...AS always!
Songs in this chapter were: 'World on fire – Trading yesterday
You and me – Lifehouse
Wuthering Heights – Kate Bush'.
Love
.S.
X x