Author's note: It's been a while again, hasn't it? Gosh, i'm so sorry. But i guess a lot of you guys are aware that i've been knee-deep in WDYHGM... Don't despair though, I'm not giving up on this fic ;) It's my baby and i just needed to gather up some inspiration before starting to write the last five or so chapters. Thank you's at the end (as i guess you know by now) and the title and lyrics for this chapter is from a song by Robin Thicke. It's not the usual OTH-sound but its just lovely... just like BL...

-

CHAPTER 33 – I'm Lost Without You

I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel?

-

Eleven o'clock, bright sunny skies outside and Brooke walking next to him in the school corridor. Just five weeks until he'll officially be a father and a mere nine days until high school graduation.

Life should be perfect again, right? He should feel one hundred percent content and a wide smile should be covering his face. So why isn't he all happy?

It could be because his pregnant girlfriend isn't back to smiling like she usually does, even though they seemed to have solved their diffrences this morning at the doctors office and she had accepted the key. And it could be because he knows that although she's accepted his apologies she's still distant and on guard.

It could also be because he's so desperately craving to kiss her and to intertwine his fingers with hers as they walk towards their lockers, but so far she's been pulling away. She does it in an almost unnoticable manner, probably so that he won't feel hurt, but he knows her and it's obvious to him;

She doesn't want him to touch her.

As they walk into their History-class he sighs inwardly and holds himself from touching the small of her back. He's used to the distance with her since the last few days had meant no physical contact at all, but after this morning he had thought that they were good, or at least on their way there.

And the wierd part is that she doesn't act angry or even sad. She just stays on a slight distance from him, as if she is shy.

"You'll sit with me, right?" he asks her and pulls out the chair next to the one he's picked for himself. And when she nods and sits he feels stupid for even asking. They always sit together when they're in the same class.

They pull out their books and he glances at her as the teacher starts taking the attendance. Her hair is up in a ponytail and she's not wearing much make-up. She bites her plump bottom lip and rests her chin in her hand.

"Brooke..." he whispers just to get her to look at him, and he instantly earns a "Shhh" from the teachers desk.

She turns towards him and smiles, but it still not the wide dimpled smile he craves.

"You okay?"

She nods and he believes her. She doesn't seem to be too tired or in pain or anything like that. But then Marcus, a guy from the team, leans in from the desk on her other side.

"I hear you're a lucky guy Luke... We always knew Brooke was a wildcat, but a pornstar? Good for you man."

He frowns and is just about to scold the idiot when Brooke puts a hand on his thigh.

"Don't..."

She keeps staring at the talking teacher, seemingly unfazed by Marcus' comment but he knows she isn't. A slight red blush covers her cheeks and her jawline is set.

"What Brooke?" Marcus whispers and smiles. "I don't mean any harm... You like Lucas, right? I bet you really 'treat' him good."

Her chin raises another couple of centimeters and she still ignores his team-mate. And he wants to lean over and shut Marcus up with his fist, but her small hand still stops him. Ususally this would be when Brooke decided that enough was enough and retorted with something that would make the guy run home crying to his mother, but strangely enough she doesn't today.

She just keeps staring at the white-board and Lucas can't help but to feel disappointed.

Why didn't she stand up for herself, and why couldn't she let him?

-

After class she's even more quiet and he's starting to feel a little helpless. So when they stop at their lockers to put their books away before heading to lunch, he pulls her to him. She lets him and she doesn't pull away when he wraps his arms around her waist. Neither does she pull back when he leans his forehead to hers and rubs the tip of her nose with his.

"I love you..." he says softly and she smiles, but when he reaches for her lips in attempt to kiss away the last remaints of distance, she again does that thing where she backs up the slightest. It's as if she's hesatating and she looks around at the students in the crowded corridor, and since it's the third time it happens, he frowns. Something still isn't right.

"Brooke, look at me."

She does and he cups her cheek in his hand.

"Why are you pulling away? I feel like you're shutting me out…"

She forces a smile, but to him it's nowhere near real. No dimples, no twinkling eyes… not the real Brooke.

"It's just weird…" she mumbles. "I can't explain it."

He should be annoyed. But he's not. The last couple of days have been full of conflicts, crying and pain and he understands that she's still feeling a little shook up, but he wants her to feel safe.

"Try…" he pleads and twirls a lock of her hair around his finger. "Please?"

She hesitates, he can see that in her eyes. The hallway around them is crowded with students running back and forth from homeroom to the cafeteria. And sure, they're in a pretty secluded corner, but the loud talking and laughing and slamming in locker-doors seems to distract her. So when she doesn't answer him he takes her hand in his and pulls her with him into the nearest classroom.

In there he tries again. Ushers her to tell him what's on her mind and she leans against the wall and watches him as she says;

"I don't know how to act…"

"Act? When?"

She bites her bottom lip. Her hair falls into her eyes in an adorable way and he gently fastens the loose strands behind her ear.

"When I'm with you… I used to know, but now I don't. It feels like people look at me funny. Like you look at me different…"

The comment stings in his heart and he seeks out her eyes, telling her to just be honest. And she continues; "It's like, I used to be all flirty and cheeky around you, but I'm… I don't know, I'm just not that attractive right now looking like this… and I don't want to throw myself at you since…"

She falls silent again and he frowns.

"Since what?"

But she just keeps looking down into the floor and then, when he realizes, he feels like a jerk. "Since I told you that you acted like a slut?"

The nod he receives from her is hardly noticeable and he sighs deeply.

"I was an idiot Brooke. You have to forget all the things I said. There was nothing wrong with what you did."

She offers him a small smile, and it's a lot shyer than her usual ones.

"It's not just that… after these days apart, it just feels like you don'twant me now. You're used to an athletic cheerleader, not a freaking whale. Plus, I'm not really sure how you want me to act. When I'm myself you keep getting comments like the one from Marcus…"

"Oh Brooke…"

He cups her face again and leans his forehead against hers, letting out a deep sigh. "I always want you… every minute of every day. And I don't care what people say or think."

This time when he kisses her she doesn't pull away and he gently grazes her tongue with his. Softly searching every crease of her mouth. He's missed this so much that his knees go weak just by the taste of her. And then, with her wonderfully raspy voice she whispers;

"Then maybe we need some time alone…"

"You want to get out of here?" he answers, still with his lips against hers, and she nods. There's a tiny twinkle in her eyes and he suddenly recognizes his girlfriend.

He kisses her again. This time with more passion and he can feel her smile. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Home."

-

Almost two hours later they're still in Brooke's car. He's driving and she hums to a song on the car-stereo. She had seemed confused at first, when he didn't take the usual road towards his mom's house, but when he went up on Route 76 westbound, she just smiled and leaned back in the seat.

After a short stop at a foodstore he's now driving in onto the smaller streets of Raleigh, just turning right onto Dawson Street before taking a left on Robertson Lane, and Brooke sits up a little straighter.

"That's the house, right?

He chuckles. There is no way in hell she can know this, but of course she's right.

"It is. The third on the left."

She excitedly claps her hands and makes that squealing noise that always has him laughing. And when he parks at the side of the road, she's almost bouncing up and down.

"Take it easy baby" he warns her with a smile, as he helps her out of the car. "I don't want you to go into premature labor."

But of course she doesn't listen. She skips off towards the building and he quickens his step to keep up with her, remembering that she's the one with the keys.

They take the elevator and she bounces up and down the entire ride, but outside the front door she hesitates and he leans in and kisses the soft skin on her neck, right below her pony-tail.

"I'm nervous…" she whispers, and he takes the key out of her hand and puts it into the lock while whispering; "Don't be."

With one arm wrapped around her, palm on her round belly, he pushes the door open and she is completely quiet. He even has to give her a little nudge to walk inside. And suddenly he is the one feeling nervous. What if she decided she didn't like the place? She had after all just seen pictures of it…

-

His hand on the small of her back is urging her to move forward, and after taking a deep breath she does. She has moved a lot in her life, travelling the world with her parents when she was a child, but apart from living at her boyfriend's mother's house, nothing has ever felt like home. That is why this is making her so nervous. Because this apartment might become the first place that would actually be hers.

Hers and Lucas'. And Emma's.

His palm is still resting on the side of her belly and the baby inside happily kicks against her father's hand. It makes her smile when it happens because it's as if the baby knows that it is Lucas touching her.

"Go inside Brooke…" he whispers. "It won't bite you."

And finally she does. For every step she makes mental notes how they could decorate this place, and it's just as she has imagined it. Big windows, broad windowsills to sit on and watch the rain, beautiful wodden floors… in short, perfect.

She knows that Lucas has been worrying that she'd think that it is too 'simple' or too small, simply because of the house she grew up in. But honestly it's the opposite.

Big empty houses with dark expensive furniture scares her. There was never any 'love' in the rooms of her old home, and even though she had been sad when her parents sold the place, it had more been because she had been so worried that she would have to move away from Lucas and her friends.

But this place is far from scary and she tip-toes into the livingroom. Looking around with big eyes.

"I adore it Lucas…" she almost whispers.

He's right behind her and she turns and looks at him. He's beaming proudly, smile stretched all over his face and she reaches up and kisses him. He cups her face and his hands are warm and strong. Safe.

"Go look at the other rooms."

She does. Looks at the bathroom with the big tub, perfect for her and Lucas on cold nights. Looks at the kitchen where she might finally learn how to cook, and then the room that will be turned into a nursery.

Then she peeks into the master bedroom and she can feel herself breaking into a smile.

"There's a bed in here Luke…"

He's still behind her and he kisses her neck softly again, making her shiver.

"Yeah?"

His arms wrap around her and she tilts her head slightly to the side, giving him better access to her skin. She can feel his breath behind her ear and she breathes in as he licks her earlobe. His hands travel up her belly and graze the sides of her breasts. She leans into his touch and maybe it's the whole situation, but she finds it extremely erotic to stand on the threshold to their bedroom with him touching her like this.

And when he whispers "I love your body when you're pregnant…" she actually believes him. She turns her head and his mouth finds hers, kissing it in a rushed way as if he's been craving her the entire day. And as he pulls her closer to him she thinks that she's never really been worried about her body, always confident about it because it was the one thing she'd always been praised for. But it had been different lately. This pregnancy had made it all different.

For months she had carried her 'bump' with immense pride, not at all concerned about its growing basketball-shape. She hadn't gained much weight and it had been enough to see the look in his eyes to know that he still craved her.

Now she had started to retain water, making her face and body slightly 'puffy' and she hasn't been sure what to make of it. With the last days of fighting she has even felt a bit shy. For the first time ever with Lucas she's even felt like covering up.

But all of a sudden all her insecurities disappear. And it might have something to do with his wonderful hands and lips on her, teasing away her newfound shyness. He eases her t-shirt off slowly before taking off his own and she leans against the doorframe. Just watching him watch her.

Baby you're the perfect shape,
baby you're the perfect weight.
Treat me like it is my birthday
I want it this way, I want it that way, I want it…
Tell me you don't want me to stop
Tell me it would break your heart…

She looks like a million bucks. Eight months pregnant she looks like a perfect sunset after a rainy day or a tasty ice cream sundae when you're starved. Her lips are like velvet when he leans in and kisses her again and he just can't get enough of her. Never could and never will.

"I want you" he lets out, and her eyes glisten in that 'come hither'-way that drives him crazy. "I just want to…"

She interrupts him with new kisses, her mouth tasting like cherry-chewing gum. Her hands unbuckle the belt in his jeans and then start working on the buttons while he reaches around her back and unclasps her bra.

Her rounded belly rubs against his muscled one when they kiss, and pushing her softly backwards, he leads her over to the bed. She's wearing a skirt, and when it drops to the floor, and she stands before him in nothing more than her underwear, he just sighs in awe. How could she ever think that he didn't find her attractive? Even when he was his angriest he could have told her that she was the most beautiful girl on the planet.

"You're perfect."

Tell me how you love me more
And how you think I'm sexy baby
That you don't want nobody else
You don't want this guy, you don't want that guy, you wanna
touch yourself when you see me
Tell me how you love my body
And how I make u feel baby…

"Noyou're perfect…" she whispers and pulls him with her down on the bed. "And I love you."

He rests on his hands, hovering above her when she lays down on her back, and he starts trailing kisses down her naked chest and belly.

They're in their own apartment, he's touching her as if he never wants to stop, and when she moans, it's both from pleasure and from pure happiness. She doesn't want to be anywhere else than here at exactly this moment. Impatiently she pushes his jeans down and he watches her closely as she tries to get them off him completely. Watching her as if he's trying to make sure.

"Are you sure you want this? We don't need to rush things…"

He looks a little concerned but the huskiness in his voice gives him away, telling her that he wants this just as much as she does. And she laughs.

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

Her voice turns into a raspy whisper as she leans up and nibbles his ear. "I'm trying to undress you here… just shut up and help me out a little…"

And with that he leans down and closes the gap between her lips and his. And her eyes close as his hand travel south.

"No,you shut up" he murmurs. "Shut up and enjoy…"

-

An hour later Brooke tip-toes out of the bed and out into the kitchen. Of course all the cupboards are empty and there are no cups or plates but she drinks some water right out of the faucet. Emma is kicking her fiercely, as if telling her that foodtime should have been hours ago, and she rubs the spot just below her ribcage.

"You hungry?"

His voice comes from the doorway and she turns towards him and smiles.

"Like a wolf."

He laughs and pulls his t-shirt on.

"I have stuff in the car. Just hang on."

While she waits she takes another stroll around the place and she notices the view over the perfect little park across the street. And just as he walks back in, she almost trips over something in the living room corner.

"A bed and a… lava-lamp?" She laughs. "Well I guess we're all set then. What else could we possibly need?"

-

On the way back he calls his mother at the hopital to check in with her and the baby, and he sounds so content that she's afraind that Karen will figure out what they have done with their first day of the last week of school.

"We're on our way home" he muses. "Yes 'we', Brooke is in the car with me."

She strokes his thigh lazily and he looks over and gives her a look that screams 'I just want to be home and in bed with you all over again', which in turn makes her smile and wonder how she could ever have doubted that he wanted her. The boy was completely incorrigeble.

"What? No mom, we're just gonna go home and rest... Yeah, Brooke needs to lie down a bit. It's been a busy schoolday."

He raises his eyebrow sugestively at her and, stiffling a giggle, she leans in and kisses a trail up his neck towards his ear. His voice becomes slightly strained as he continous; "That's great... well, just call me in the morning and i'll pick you up from the hospital. Sure... Take care, mom."

"Have I ever told you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?" she says when he has hung up and she can hear that her voice is starting to sound sleepy.

His lips curl into a beautilful smile, warm but at the same time serious.

"No, i don't think you have..."

"Well, it's true."

Its dark outside now and the lights from the cars on the highway create a chain of red and white luminating spots, almost like a neclace. She leans her head against his shoulder and Lucas puts his free hand around her.

"That's a good thing baby" he says softly. "Because without you i'm totally lost."

----

It's nine o'clock in the morning, the sky is bright and sunny and Brooke is walking next to him up the steps and into school. It's just four weeks until he'll officially be a father and a mere eight days until their high school graduation.

Life should be perfect again, right? He should feel one hundred percent content. And he does. In fact he couldn't be happier. A wide smile is covering his face as he leans over and kisses his girlfriend's temple and she willingly turns and captures his lips in a searing kiss.

"Emma's happy..." she says and giggles. "Feel."

He puts a hand on her rounded belly and laughs as the tiny foot kicks his palm from the inside.

"Cheerleader much?" he says and quirks an eyebrow at Brooke's smiling face.

"Of course Broody. She's practising that high kick twenty-four seven. Haven't you noticed?"

She intertwines her fingers with his and he's proud to walk to class with her. Proud to see her show off her long tanned legs and that great butt in the little skirt. Happy that she looks happy and completely content with the notion that she's his and only his.

And when he drops her off at her Biology-class, he tongue-kisses her right infront of Mr Randall, the grumpiest teacher known to mankind, and Brooke laughs so hard at the expression on the old man's face that she almost receives detention.

When he then continous to his own two hours of Spanish, he walks past 'The Wall of Great Achievments' and he sees his girlfriend's picture.

Brooke Davis. Class of 2007. For her innovative designs for Clothes over Bro's and her success as a cheerleader-captain of the Ravens Cheer-squad.

He beams with pride of course. And he agrees. But he wishes that he could add on to that statement. Because her greatest achievement this year is a lot bigger than that. Brooke Davis, class of 2007, has grown up.

I'm lost without you
Can't help myself
How does it feel
to know that I love ya baby?

-----

Author's note: Wasn't that just the cheesiest cheese in the world? LOL. I just thought that we all deserved some cuteness after the last couple of angsty chapters.

We're nearing the end of this story, about 5 or 6 chapters left. So all of you that has started to tire of this never ending story, don't worry, we're getting close ;)

Thank You's;

Cassandra my love; Like always you're my rock. Without you, this story wouldn't be half of what it is. I mean it.

Cami, darling; What can I say? The day you stop reviewing I'll stop writing. You're a star.

Vicky,Chelsea,Carla,Eleana,Loes,Ebony andJanie; You girls and your wonderful reviews have me gigling with happiness everytime. It's always nice to know that my BL-girls are still here and reading. And Cheyenne! LOL Thanks for not going crazy over my constant whining about not getting it together.

Natalie (iluvmedou); Did I leave you hanging too long or are you still here? I'm thrilled that you said that the last chapter felt honest. It was exactly what I hoped for. Thanks!

Rena; Thank you for your sweet review. Were they happy enough for you? LOL

Eemah, hunnie; I'm glad you haven't found this story boring yet. How about this chapter?

Lexie (lexie90); I'll trade a brilliant chapter for a brilliant review from you any day. Thanks ;)

Sam (Studiousgirl101); You are the sweetest! I'm happy you liked the key-thing, I was worried it was corny. I'm sorry I couldn't update ASAP but I hope I'll get the next one up sooner.

Erika (Hellishlygood); So of course I'm LOVING this review. Not only because it's supersweet, but also because it's from a fellow CI-lover:) KS is my secret passion and in my drawer there is a fic for CI that I haven't had the guts to post yet. Maybe if you promise to review it, I will… LOL

I've started reading your stories today and I guess you received some reviews already that tell you I love them. Thanks for giving me KS. Us CI-fans are a dying breed.

Whiters; LOL you know, me and another reader of this story used to wonder what to call them too. We never came up with a really good one so we settled for RL but when ever there was a Brooke/Lucas/Rachel-scene we used to call them 'Brucasel'. How about that?

Crazybrunette113; Welcome back hun! Thanks for that sweet review.

BroodyxoCheery; I'm glad you like it! ;) And I know that it takes forever for the baby to come, but it's getting close now.

Tripnfallbri; I'm sorry I broke your heart hun :hug: And I'm glad I could mend it LOL. I hope you feel better after this love-fest.

Brucas333; Love you right back:)

Brucas2006; Lucas is just dense isn't he? LOL But worried Lucas is so cute. Karen's baby is called Keith, I'm not sure it was pointed out in this chapter. And thanks for your awesome review.

Sassha; LOL, I'm trying. I just keep getting caught in other stories lately.

WhiteRose0925; Welcome to the story. And thanks for your kind words. I don't know about the sex-crazed part though… ;)

Illeandra,Tigg,Flipflopgal and Broke.Davis; You girls have me blushing! Without the wonderful reviews you give me this wouldn't be half as inspiring. Thank you so much!

JennaB82,BrucasBrathanBaleyBrachel,CheerandBrood323,SnowWhite213,Supermel returns,LAUREN,Groviejj-othfan88,kiwi,othfan326,princetongirl,othrox,chipmunk318,OTHbrucas4ever,Brucas3,C,Naley4ever323,SkyBlueSw,othloverrrr,onetreehillgirl066, and UberBrucaserx3; THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! You're all so great and I don't have words. 33 chapters and you're all still here? AMAZING! If I forgot someone, I'm so sorry, but believe me when I say that I love you all!