Madness in Silence

Cuddy spent all night wondering how she was going to tell House, the man that she had been in love with since med school and the bane of her existence, that he was the father of her unborn child. He was certainly not going to be as cooperative as she imagined most soon-to-be fathers were, but she could only hope that he would be happy on some level. Wilson seemed to think he would be, but she had essentially closed him out three months ago after the one night they had spent together in carnal bliss. She left a message on Lucas's answering machine telling him that he never had to come near her again as the baby wasn't his and focused all of her energy on taking care of Rachel.

The Dean of Medicine presented her baby sitter with a new schedule that had added more time for her to spend with Rachel. Cuddy wanted to get Rachel interested in the prospect of a baby, though the toddler had only recently turned two and started learning to see the world outside herself. She wanted to spend more time with her daughter and the unborn baby that would be added to the family in six month's time so she had planned to stay at home until 10 a.m. and work until 5, gossips be damned. The morning after discovering the baby's paternity had been hardest as she knew that if she didn't deliver the news to House, Wilson would.

Incidentally, the first person Cuddy came across upon entering the hospital was none other than the oncologist, himself. "Can we talk?" he asked, walking toward her office with her.

"If that's what it'll take to keep you from making a scene."

"I'm not going to make a scene, Cuddy. I just want to make sure you're ok," he assured her as the slipped into the privacy of her office. She locked the door behind them and put her briefcase on her desk before facing him fully.

"I'm ok, really. I just…I'm going to need some time to work things out. Lucas walked out the other day and I can't say I'm totally over that," she confided.

"I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"You could help me out by keeping your mouth closed when you're around House. I know he's your best friend, but I'm not exactly ready to give him the good news…"

"I think you should tell him soon."

"I will, just give me a bit."

"Cuddy, I know this is…traumatic to say the least, but it's also a miracle. You tried for almost a year to get pregnant! Now you've got the chance to be a mother."

"I'm already a mother," she countered. "Rachel is as much my daughter as this baby is mine."

"I know. I just thought you'd be happy about finally getting to experience pregnancy," Wilson said gently.

"I am…but it's not exactly a normal circumstance, is it?"

Wilson sighed. "I'm sorry. You're going through a lot, I know. I just want what's going to be best for all of you. If you need me, you know where I am…"

He turned to leave, but Cuddy stopped him. "Wilson?" He looked over his shoulder at her, not sure what to expect. "I'm sorry. You're a great friend…thanks."

"No problem," he replied with a smile. He gave her a quick hug and left her to start her day. She sighed, realizing that the hormones were already kicking in.

House paced around his office for over half the morning wondering what was taking Cuddy so long to deliver the news, whatever it was. He'd sent his team off to scour the hospital for possible interesting cases and surfed the internet for porn, only to find himself so distracted that he couldn't even enjoy it. He had to know the truth…he wanted Cuddy to walk in and tell him that he was going to be a father. Unfortunately for him, that had yet to happen and it was nearly lunchtime.

Foreman walked in briskly and handed him a file. "Eighteen year old male suffering from stomach cramps, blurred vision and a rectal bleed," Foreman briefed.

"Do the usual tests, but it's probably just a bad case of food poisoning…come get me if you find anything really interesting," House advised.

"You might want to look at his chart, House, he's been on feeding tubes for the last two months because of acute pancreatitis."

"How did he get the pancreatitis?"

"Car crash."

"Well it just looks like pancreatitis, doesn't it?"

"I don't know…he says it's not like his normal symptoms."

"Well check him out…I'm a little preoccupied!" House yelled.

Foreman backed out of the room, annoyed with his boss. House didn't really care, however, as he had bigger things to worry about than new pancreatitis symptoms. He gave in after a few more minutes and made his way down to Wilson's office to make a lunch offer. "She hasn't talked to you today, has she?" he asked his friend.

"No. I haven't seen her," Wilson lied.

House sighed. Lunch was rather more quiet than usual and Wilson felt the guilt of keeping his promise to Cuddy. "Why the hell hasn't she at least called?" House demanded, crunching unnecessarily hard on a bite of taco.

"I don't know," Wilson said, not meeting House's eyes as he wiped taco sauce off his tie. "I'm sure she'll let you know soon."

"I'm going to see her after lunch," House informed him. Wilson could only watch, as he didn't want to put himself more in the middle of the argument than he already was. He followed House out of the cafeteria ten minutes later with a few more taco stains and a burden on his shoulders.

House walked determinedly into Cuddy's office. He had to know the truth, whether it hurt or not. She was on the phone when the men entered and held up a hand to indicate that they should wait. Wilson guiltily shifted his weight as she finished her call, but House's piercing gaze never left her face. He was ready to pounce as soon as she hung up the phone. "Any news yet?" he asked her.

She looked into his blue eyes and then back at Wilson, before opening her mouth. "I got the results back, if that's what you mean."

"And?"

"And…it's…not your responsibility, House." She hung her head. House turned on his heel and rushed past Wilson, his hand on the doorknob when the oncologist let out a strangled noise. House turned to question him at the same time that Cuddy's eyes lifted to his face.

"What the hell do you mean, it's not his responsibility?" Wilson demanded.

Cuddy's mouth hung open in shock as House's gaze shifted to her. "I…I…You said you'd let me handle this…"

"I meant that I'd let you handle telling him that it's his baby, Cuddy!" Wilson stormed. "You can't just let him leave thinking it's Lucas's!"

"I didn't say it was…I just didn't want to put pressure on him," she said weakly.

"The hell you didn't!" House yelled. "It's my baby, Cuddy. Why would I reject it?"

"Because you always do. If you love someone you push them away!" she said, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't want…"

"Didn't want what?" Wilson asked.

"DIDN'T WANT WHAT?!?!" House demanded.

"I didn't want him to feel the rejection I felt, ok? I want him to be loved." Cuddy completely broke down, sobbing loudly.

Wilson and House exchanged a long look, then Wilson inclined his head in Cuddy's direction. House reluctantly stepped forward and put a hand on her arm. "I'm not going to reject him…is it a him?"

Cuddy sniffled for a while longer as House suffered through her weeping. "I don't know."

"Christ, Cuddy, pull it together. I wanted it to be mine!"

She looked at him wide eyed as Wilson inwardly cheered. "You did?"

"Yeah…" he said, a bit reluctantly. "I just didn't want to get my hopes up…I didn't think you'd want me around."

"What was I supposed to think you'd do?" she asked softly.

"I don't know…sorry. I just…well, I want to…he's my kid." He swallowed hard. "I'll be damned if I'm not in his life."

Cuddy smiled a watery smile up at the father of her child. "Well I'm glad that's over," Wilson said, coming around the desk to hug Cuddy.

"You kept a secret from me?" House demanded of him.

"And I can't believe you told him!" Cuddy added.

"Look. I'm not going to let you two ruin what you could have," he said sternly. "I'll be damned if this is going to fall apart, so you'd better get used to my being meddling." House rolled his eyes and Cuddy grinned at Wilson, but they were all glad the tension had finally broken.