Bad Romance

by Tuney-pon

AU. Everyone tells lies, & everyone keeps secrets--even the people you think you know best. But when lies are uncovered, & secrets revealed--did they really expect things to get better? Simplicity is only wishful thinking, after all. Pairings inside.

5. Halt

Author's Note: AUGH. So--it's a little over an hour past the deadline--I know--but....rawr. This chapter...is almost as long as Sheryl-sama's magnificent pen0r. Almost. But not quite. And, uhm--I...have been editing all day? -kept getting (*raep'd*) distracted by her current housemates, though- And those...are my excuses? xD
But yeah, uhm--here you go. Longest chapter yet--by far. Even longer than chapter four--which was the longest chapter before this one--I think? -sorry, hyper and tired at the same time- Erm--yeah. I'mma shut up now, and just--get on with it.

Disclaimer: Again--we don't own D. Gray-Man. Unfortunately. Or Lady GaGa. We don't own anything here except our plot, and our creative freedom.

Warnings For This Chapter: HANGOVERS. O___O, a blowjob, an outrageously troubling Q&A session, Kanda's temper, mentions of drug-use and sexual abuse of a minor, the removal of Lavi's eyepatch, and--a slightly sinister Bookman. O.o

Chapter Five
"Halt"

It was morning. It must have been, from the way the sun was now shining so obnoxiously into his eyes. Lavi growled in frustration, and went to roll over--only to find that he couldn't. Sighing softly, he popped his eye open...and found his face nearly pressed against Kanda's chest. His...shirtless...chest. Which was very, very pleasing to look at, by the way. But that wasn't the point-

Suddenly, the memories of the previous night all came rushing back to him in a flood of thought...as well as a splitting headache. Great. Just great. He had a fucking hangover.

"Yuu...ne, Yuu...!" He leaned forward just a tad further, and licked lightly at one of the other male's nipples, causing the Japanese to awaken immediately--and Lavi couldn't have stopped the giggle from leaving his lips if he'd tried.

Kanda was trying to sleep. Had been trying to sleep. Was failing to sleep--when he felt the mattress dip and shift next to him, and when something...wet...licked at his chest, well, he threw the attempt at sleep right back out the proverbial window, and his eyes snapped open to scowl down at the offender.

At first he thought he would see one face--and he almost groaned--but then he saw a head of red hair and that--that was different. He let out a sigh. "What the fuck?"

The redhead next to him burst out into soft peals of laughter, which were really unneeded this early in the morning--but they were quiet, and he knew what that meant. Especially when he forced himself up, and saw the way the boy was holding his forehead-

Then he had the gall to open his fucking mouth and talk.

"S-sorry, Yuu..." he hissed out softly between his fits of laughter. "But...I was trying t'get your attention, and Yuu wouldn't wake up..."

He tried to sit up, but quickly laid back down again, when it caused the violent pounding in his head to grow impossibly worse--and moaned loudly in pain. Which...really didn't help his headache any. "Okay...maybe I should just...lay down again, ne...?"

Though really, he didn't want to. He wanted to get up, walk around, and be active. Or annoying. Either option worked just as well, in his opinion. He tried one more time-

Nope. He was staying down.

Kanda let out a sigh, as he watched the redhead's futile attempts at getting up--with no such luck each time. "That's what you get for drinking--baka--how much did you have last night?" He thought that question over--the idiot was alive, wasn't he? Well then, scratch that. "Do you even remember what the fuck happened last night?"

"Stop...yelling..." Lavi begged, trying in vain to tug a pillow over his head. "But--I had--well, I only remember the first two Margaritas, but...there coulda been more..."

He blushed at the thought of the man's other question, but knew he had to answer. "But--yeah. I remember everything... And--I still don't think it's 'weird'...if only just...a little embarrassing... I...can't remember the details, but I do remember what happened. So, uhm...Yuu...? How much...exactly, did I tell Yuu--last night...?"

"Tell?" Kanda stared at the man in slight disbelief. "Tell about what?"

Or was he just not remembering correctly? "If it's about who the Hell Tyki and this Sheryl guy are, then no. But other than that, you told a lot. But then," he sighed, "what do I know?"

He watched the boy's face contort in confusion--watched that mouth open to ask another pointless question--but he cut him off before he could get there. "Don't you have a phone call to make?"

"I--OH. Oh fuck!!"

Maybe, he shouldn't have yelled like that. Not while his head was pounding the way it was--and now, it was pounding worse. "Yeah... Yeah, I gotta call Lenalee."

Pulling out his cell-phone, he quickly hit the speed-dial for Lenalee's number, thankfully remembering to turn the volume way down first. After a few moments, she answered.

/Lavi!? Is that you?/ the voice all but yelled.

"Ahh--not so loud, Lena..." he whined, clutching his head tightly in his free hand. "But--yeah, it's me."

Kanda raised an eyebrow at the redheads whine, and sighed, crawling across the bed and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to get you anything?" He knew Lenalee could probably hear him, but with the way the idiot cringed just at the sound of his voice (which he made sure to keep low) he'd definitely need something strong--especially if he was going to last through one of the girl's panicked tirades.

"I--yeah, thanks Yuu. That'd be great~" He smiled brightly at the other boy, feeling more than grateful.

/Oh?/ Lenalee sounded surprised. /Is Kanda-kun there?/

"Actually...I'm at his house," Lavi admitted. "Tyki drove me here...after dinner. Which ended really late. I didn't get here till about 3am, which is--why I didn't call till now."

/Ohh...okay. Well, what is Kanda-kun getting you?/

"Uhm...that? Just--something for my migraine. Uhm...I'm a bit...hungover right now, actually. Which is why I'm at Yuu's place, and not at home..."

He realized too late, that he probably should have waited for the medicine or whatever it was, before he told the girl that part. His poor head...

--

Kanda was halfway down the hall when he heard Lavi yelp in obvious pain--it figured he'd slip up, and say something that would induce the rant-of-worry early. But there wasn't much he could do about it. He needed something strong. Kanda had something strong. Not that he'd dare keep it in an obvious place, lest those...brats...find it.

He quickened his pace in any case, and soon he was rummaging through the small fridge he had out in the garage. Sure it barely worked--sure he had gotten a shitload of questions asked for why he wanted it (it was Daisya's old one--and it had been when--he cut that that thought off), but he had it. And inside it was the thing he knew would do the trick.

So he took one simple white pill--it looked harmless, like Tylenol; he knew the idiot wouldn't ask. Or wouldn't, at least right away--and tucked it into his palm, before hurrying back into the house, and into the kitchen* to grab the idiot a glass of water before heading back to the room. He was barely halfway down the hall when he heard Lavi explaining something hurriedly and frantically--like he was trying to calm the girl down (Kanda smirked at the thought), but when he stepped in the room a few seconds later--he looked relieved. Smiling happily, and extending his hand for the trusted white pill that would do the trick.

"Here," he held the pill out and the idiot hastily took it--gulping down the water just as quickly before getting back to the conversation at hand--Kanda sitting next to him just because, well, it was amusing, wasn't it? To hear Lenalee so panicked for once.

No, that wasn't just a little mean, was it?

"I--no, Lenalee, I'm fine. Or at least--I will be, once you stop yelling at me."

/But...you don't even know the guy!/ Lenalee went on, vehemently. /And you still let him buy you alcohol, and...and...do stuff like that? While you were drunk, no less!/

"Gawd, Lena...can it, will ya? You're makin' my head hurt worse than it was before! And really, you're over-reacting. Sheryl didn't do anything that bad. Just--y'know--not even as much as Tyki. So--yeah. Stop worrying. It's not like I was raped, or something, right? I'm fine. And I'll be fine, when my headache goes away--which you are not helping. Yuu, help? Please? You talk to her!"

And he passed the phone off to the unprepared Japanese.

Kanda blinked, eyes wide as Lavi flopped back on the bed and jerked a pillow over his eyes. Wait--wait--wait-

He stared at the phone in disbelief. What was he supposed to do again? What?

It wasn't until Lenalee's voice came through on the other end (when he held it up to his ear), that he fully comprehended the situation.

/Is Lavi telling the truth, Kanda-kun? Nothing happened with Tyki and Sheryl? He's okay?/ The girl's voice was loud and high, perfectly portraying her obvious concern for the redhead--as well as slight distrust. After all, they both knew that Lavi had a tendency to lie and say things were okay, when they were really far from. Like that time Bookman had broken his hand...

Lavi, meanwhile, had gone back to curling up into a tight ball on Kanda's bed, and trying to cover his head with a pillow.

Kanda let out a sigh, and watched as the redhead curled up even more. "I don't know, honestly." He heard the girl on the other end take a loud gasp, readying herself for another long tirade, but he cut her off before she could. "I don't think anything happened, though. Or else he'd act...different...when he came here. So--whatever it was--it wasn't anything he can't get over." He tactfully left out the short spiel about how Lavi thought the man (or both men) were 'hot'...and that--he had probably let them do whatever the heck it was. She didn't need to know that--if Lavi hadn't just told her already

/Well...okay then. As much as I want to, I know we can't always trust Lavi when it comes to 'bad' stuff, but...I do trust your judgment, and though I hate to admit it--no matter how much he talks to me, you know him better than any of us./ She sighed audibly from the other end. /Uhm...if he...does do anything 'weird'...please tell me, okay? Because I doubt he will on his own, and he's--he's better at it...than I am. I don't think I'd be able to pick it up myself, if something really was wrong with him.../

"Really?" He practically heard her flinch on the other end of the phone. "Tch, yeah, I'll tell you."

'Depending on what it is.' He glanced at the redhead again. "Right now, he's going back to sleep. He woke me up at 3am in the fucking morning--and it's only," he glanced at the clock, "9am. I think we're both going back to sleep."

Before she could say another word, he flipped the phone shut and tossed it back to the redhead. It hit the pillow covering his face, and he let out a groan. "There, I fucking talked to her," he ground out, crawling over the redhead when he realized just one little thing...

"Now give me back my fucking pillow."

Lavi groaned, and hugged the pillow tighter--and rolling to face away from his Japanese friend, to better protect his 'prize'.

"But then--what am I gunna use..?" he asked softly, keeping his voice low so as to not disrupt his not-yet-faded migraine. "Unless--unless Yuu wants to be my pillow..."

He giggled lightly at that. He really did have too much fun playing around with Kanda's name.

Kanda frowned, and sighed, trying to take the pillow again. "I'm not going to be your fucking pillow. Now let up." He leaned to the side, trying to grab as much of the pillow as he could, before tugging.

"Goddamnit, Lavi," he growled out, and the man giggled again, before pouting and repeating his last statement.

"Nope~" Lavi whispered. Though, contrary to his utter refusal to follow the command, he let the pillow go...and latched himself onto Kanda's waist, instead, closing his eye, and inhaling deeply.

"Yuu smell nice..."

Kanda sucked in his breath, when he felt the other latch onto his waist and inhale. Suddenly, he felt absurdly warm in that. One. Area. And--he looked down at the mop of red hair. "Really?"

Maybe his next series of actions couldn't really be blamed entirely on the redhead, but as he leaned down and kissed the top of the boy's head, he didn't quite care about that.

It was when Lavi pulled back to look at him, green eye slightly wide--mouth open to say something, that he decided he wanted to kiss him now. Just to get him to shut up.

So he did.

The idiot really did talk too much.

Lavi couldn't stop the small squeak of surprise from leaving his lips, though the sound was lost between them. Kanda--was kissing...him? Kanda was initiating it? That--what--wow. Okay then.

After the momentary shock wore off, Lavi allowed his eye to fall shut, and he relaxed, responding to the kiss slowly. He parted his lips just slightly, inviting Yuu to deepen the kiss if he so wished, but not wanting the older boy to feel pressured to do so.

Kanda felt his lips twitch as the idiot opened his mouth, just slightly. Following suit (not because of the pleasant tingles it was causing up and down his spine. Like last night, without the annoyance), he darted his tongue out, running it along the boy's lower lip, before slipping it inside.

Lavi felt the heat rise on his cheeks, and not just from the moan that had caught him off guard, too late to be stopped. He had realized something.

Kanda's tongue...was in his mouth. And he was sober. And Lavi was sober. Which meant that they were sober, and kissing. Like this. Lavi was almost convinced he was dreaming, if it weren't for his headache. But--this was nice. And it distracted him quite well, from the pain in his skull.

And so, he decided to kiss back a little harder.

Kanda felt the added pressure against his lips, and resisted the urge to smirk, as Lavi pulled him closer--and closer--and soon he was pinning the boy to the mattress very much like he had the night before (well, okay, not the mattress. The floor. But what did it matter?) .

But they were still kissing--lips held in a solid lip-lock he didn't necessarily want to break. Which was strange, just a little bit, because they were both sober and this wasn't a favor, and--it was his 'best friend'.

And unlike the night before, he wished he didn't need to breathe, because that meant breaking away--that meant actually opening your eyes to see the glazed look in the other's...and he hated how his voice sounded as he panted out (because it would be even weirder to just have silence), "Is your head...better...?"

He knew his words were slurred, but he also knew the drug--medicine--should be kicking in now.

Now but it didn't seem like Lavi cared too much about that with his next words, and the fact that his hands were traveling down his back towards--oh.

Oh.

"Yeah...it's fine. But--it's not just the medicine that's makin' me feel better, Yuu..." Playfully, he lightly gave Kanda's ass a squeeze, but the other didn't seem to mind. In fact, he almost seemed to--to--like it...? Lavi blinked, and did it again--smirking wickedly when the Japanese gave him a heated glare.

"Ne...Yuu?" He waited till the other boy's expression softened a bit, then continued. "Why don't ya just--I dunno, shut up an' kiss me again? That was...really nice..."

And damnit, he wasn't supposed to blush when he said that. What's worse, Kanda noticed.

Kanda smirked lightly as the boy's face heated. As if he hadn't asked for a kiss before--though Kanda wasn't stupid. This time...felt different. Maybe it was the not-being-drunk thing, or the fact that it was his bed and not the couch, but--well-

He didn't need to say a word, as he leaned in and captured the boy's lips in another kiss, immediately deepening it when the boy didn't voice any objections--adding his own edge of fire that made them both shiver.

Lavi whined softly into Kanda's mouth, wrapping his arms around the Asian's neck, and tugging him closer. He ran a hand through the other's hair, fingers tangling in the soft locks to get a better hold of him...just in case he decided--but no. Kanda wouldn't stop. He wouldn't pull away from him, not now. Not after all this. And Lavi had to believe that.

He felt a shiver run down his spine, and his back arched of it's own accord, inadvertently causing him to press his chest against Kanda's--only Lavi's shirt in the way of skin-on-skin contact.

Lavi felt the lips against his own twist into a smirk, and--reluctantly--he pulled back slightly, just enough to speak, though their lips were still brushing together with every word.

"You're...enjoying this, aren't you...?" the redhead whispered the question--or was it, even?--softly, his eye only opening halfway to look at Kanda. "You aren't just...humoring me, Yuu want it too."

Kanda scowled at that. "Stop with the fucking name puns."

Then he did something he thought would be amusing--and ground his hips lightly against Lavi's own. "Yes, I'm enjoying this--ba-ka, what do you think?" As if physical evidence wasn't enough.

Lavi let out a loud whine of pleasure, and pushed right back against Kanda, before he could even think to stop himself. And even if he had thought to, he wouldn't have wanted to. It just--it felt too good.

"I--Yuu...!!" he gasped, before pressing his lips against the Japanese' own again, while running his hands up and down across the smooth chest.

Kanda shivered lightly into the touch, as Lavi continued to buck up against him. Then he got yet another grand idea, and sat up, increasing the force before dragging Lavi into a sitting position as well, and grabbing the hem of his shirt--jerking it over the idiot's head, before tossing it off somewhere in the room.

And no, he didn't know if the idiot had any other weaknesses. No. He didn't. He just leaned forward again, and nipped lightly at the boy's earlobe--not hard enough to hurt, but enough for the boy to let out yet another gasp and cling to him again.

Lavi inhaled sharply, and then released the air in a heady moan, slouching forward slightly to lean against Kanda, his arms wrapped around his friend's shoulders. Damnit...why did every guy he made out with, have to go for his ears? (Then again, Kanda was one out of only two men he'd been...this close with...)

He leaned his head further to the side, in any case, not about to complain. However, he bit down on his lip lightly, to keep himself from making too much noise...even though he knew Kanda would probably like it if he did.

Kanda heard the sharp gasp, and how it should have been a moan--but wasn't. That was annoying. Very. He pulled back, and glared (half-heartedly) at the redhead. "If you're going to make noise--make noise. No one's going to hear you but me."

Lavi blushed, and nodded, muttering a barely audible apology. And so, when Kanda went back to his 'task' on Lavi's ear, and then his neck, the redhead didn't try to stop the whimper that left his lips, nor the sharp hitching of his breath, when he felt teeth against his collarbone.

"Y-Yuu..." he groaned, hating how he stuttered the other's name. He'd have to work on that, later.

Kanda smirked inwardly at the way the idiot couldn't even say his name without a stutter. But that just made it better in this case, as he trailed his tongue down the other male's chest, to his naval, swirling it there, and enjoying the way the boy's hips bucked.

'Should I ask...?' he wondered faintly, as he began tugging on the boy's belt buckle, looking up at Lavi through his bangs, and seeing the blush that settled there, hot on his cheeks.

Lavi blinked down at Kanda, his eye wide with surprise, and…apprehension? He knew he shouldn't be afraid of Kanda--he wasn't afraid of Kanda--but still...when someone went for his pants, no matter who it was, he couldn't help but freeze up a bit.

"...Yuu...? What're ya doin'..?" he asked slowly, and he hated how tense his voice sounded.

'Calm down, Lavi,' he told himself. 'Yuu won't hurt ya. He never would.'

Kanda let out a soft sigh, ignoring how Lavi shivered as it brushed against exposed skin. "Something you'll like," he murmured instead, unzipping the zipper, before working both the pants and underwear down his thighs as far as they could go with the boy still sitting.

When the redhead didn't move after a few seconds (not seeming to get that he needed to help at least somewhat), he barked out the order--minding to keep his voice as soft as he could--"Lift your hips."

Lavi let out a shaky sigh, and nodded. Bracing his hands against the mattress on either side of him, he lifted himself up off the bed, blushing heavily while allowing Kanda to pull his remaining clothes off.

Yeah, so--Kanda'd already seen him naked. But, he'd been drunk then, so he hadn't cared. Which--made right now all the more embarrassing for him.

The redhead easily complied after the soft order, and soon he was lying stark naked, and--no, Kanda wasn't looking. Because the baka had been drunk last time. Not that the flush on the boy's skin (from embarrassment and arousal) wasn't arousing, but...he didn't want him to be embarrassed. Not really.

So he crawled over the redhead again, and placed a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth, "Calm down," he murmured against his lips--then, for good measure, added on, "And don't fucking pull my hair."

He would certainly be confused at that--he was sure. But what did a little mindscrew hurt anyone? He licked his lips and moved down, suspending himself over the boy's erection--which was half hard, and steadily getting stiffer--and licking the tip with his tongue.

Heh.

Lavi had just been about to ask the other what he'd meant--why would he pull Kanda's hair?--then oh-

-that was why.

Lavi whined loudly, and would have bucked his hips--purely on instinct, mind--had it not been for Kanda's arm laying across his hips, pinning him down. He squeezed his eye shut as tight as he possibly could, quite nearly overwhelmed by the sensation of the other boy's mouth on...'that'...place. He now understood why Tyki had been so--but no. He wouldn't think about Tyki. Not now--not while he was here, in Yuu's bed--with Yuu.

"Yuu--ahh..!!"

It was only because he had done this before, that he had learned--the hips. Keep them pinned. He didn't want to gag--Kanda Yuu didn't gag. So he wouldn't. And he didn't--he just hoped Lavi would keep his hands out of his hair, as he took all of the boy in his mouth (no doubt surprising him, with the way his whines grew louder--and he shifted, trying to sit up), grazing the sensitive organ with his teeth, alternating between that and light suction a moment later.

Goddamn. He liked his control. He had it, yes, but with those moans, he knew he was going to lose it soon--and--well--he shoved thoughts of what he'd get the redhead to do to him out of his head, and instead focused on pleasing the other male.

Because he was Kanda Yuu. And he could.

Lavi almost--almost--reached for Kanda's hair, just on impulse, but his hand quickly returned to his side the moment he realized what he was doing. He wouldn't put it past the Asian to bite him, if he didn't follow instructions. But-

-"H-how?" He gasped out, tossing his head back. How did Kanda get so--so good at this? Sure, Lavi had never received a blowjob before this, but still--he knew--this was talent.

"How--y-you--so good..!!" he whined, unable to even do so much as form a full sentence. Damn, this was embarrassing...

Kanda let out a low chuckle--with Lavi's member still in his mouth, just to tease him--but didn't answer. Not right away, anyways. He ran his tongue along the vein underneath, stroking the inside of Lavi's thigh with his free hand, before pulling away with a wet 'pop'.

"Che--what makes you think I haven't done this before?"

Not that he wanted to divulge in too much detail. Not now--not ever if he could help it. It wasn't something the redhead needed to know, anyway. "Just enjoy it," he tacked on--when he saw the idiots mouth open again, and--for good measure--went back to sucking, just the tip this time.

"Wha-ohh!!" Lavi cut his own question off--before he could finish even the first word--with a drawn-out moan, his hands making tight fists in the sheets beneath him. He'd been going to ask 'What? When have you done this?', but...the words wouldn't come now, and the redhead had no delusions that Kanda hadn't done 'that' on purpose.

So...Yuu had done this before, had he? And he didn't seem to want Lavi asking questions about it...did that mean it was bad? But--oh well. He would have to wonder more about that later, because currently, Lavi was finding it very, very difficult to use his head. That is--the one that wasn't in Kanda's mouth.

It seemed his little plan worked perfectly, as he continued to turn the redhead's brain into a pile of mush that it usually seemed to be on most days when the idiot--well--was acting 'idiotic'. It only took a few sucks later for him to taste the salty precum, and to feel Lavi's body quake with the need for release--pent up frustration and--he almost thought about being evil again and making the man wait.

But he decided against it, grazing his teeth against the flesh before picking a random tune (of a song that he had only heard few times--one of which had been for the video. It confused him to no end, how that woman could wear such skimpy outfits. But at least they had a point), and starting to hum.

Lavi squirmed in place--unable to do anything more, with Kanda holding him down like that--and let out another pitiful whimper. He was close--he hated how close he was already--and that fact humiliated him to no end. He didn't want to cum yet...but he didn't think he could hold it back much longer.

"Yuu, I--I'm close..." he moaned, and his voice broke at the end, showing the other male perfectly well just how close the redhead was. It was only a matter of time, now-

Kanda let out a snort, pulling away just for a fraction of a second to get a few words in. "Isn't that the point?" Then, in a method he remembered all too well, he licked the head, running his tongue along the slit--and barely had time to close his mouth over the head and deep-throat him before the redhead gave a coarse shout, and his mouth was filled with white.

And now he was very thankful he had done this before, considering he knew how to swallow, and lick clean, and--Lavi still had that question shining in his lone green eye.

Like this meant anything.

Lavi slowly came to his senses, blinking rapidly as he met Kanda's gaze, his face heating up immediately. Then, he looked away.

"I--thanks, Yuu..." he whispered, a soft smile on his face. The tone of his voice was nothing but genuine. "You--this--and then last night.... Yuu didn't have to, but--you did. And I appreciate it, even if I don't get why... I've never given you anything, but grief--nothing to earn 'this'."

The redhead tried to hold back a yawn then, but failed, which only caused the red in his cheeks to darken.

Kanda sighed and pushed himself up, wiping his mouth just to make sure nothing leaked out.

"Do you have to? This..." He shook his head, not--really remembering where he had been going with that train of thought--instead, crawling up to lay next to the redhead. "If you're tired, then go to sleep. Or else that makes me look like a liar." He ran a hand through Lavi's unruly hair, enjoying (though he wouldn't say it) when the man nuzzled into his hand.

He still had the question in his eye when he looked back up at him, and that? Well--"You don't have to do anything. I won't make you."

"I--I could try...later?" Lavi offered, his eye already beginning to slide shut of its own accord. "But, right now...I'm really tired, Yuu."

He let out a soft sigh, and snuggled against Kanda's side, burying his face in the other's neck. He wouldn't bother with his pants, for now--after all, it's not like they really made much a difference, at this point. But-

"But, I do hafta ask...why were ya hummin' Lady GaGa, of all things? Don't get me wrong--I love her to bits, and 'Bad Romance' is probably my favorite song of hers, but--I wouldn't have thought you'd know it..."

Kanda's eyes widened in surprise at Lavi's question. Well. That--that--was--"Che, of course I've heard it."

And then he burst out laughing.

****A Few Hours Later****

Lavi slowly cracked his eyes open, and--it must have been a few hours later, because the sun wasn't so painfully bright anymore. Or--it just wasn't shining through the window.

"Yuu...?" he whispered, but received no answer. Then, he noticed that the only thing keeping him warm now was a blanket. Not a body. His entire face pulling into a scowl, he turned over, seeing the bed empty, and the door slightly open. He sighed to himself, quite literally rolled out of the bed--Yuu's bed--and pulled on his boxers and pants. Running a hand through his mop of red hair, he pushed the door open the rest of the way, and stepped out of the room, on a mission to find his friend...and maybe some food, too.

The redhead hadn't even gotten to the end of the hallway, when he heard Kanda's voice--was he on the phone? He stopped just before the end of the hall, deciding to wait, and listen. Sure, he felt bad eaves-dropping on his best friend, but...he was curious. And besides--it could be important.

Kanda didn't like this. Not one bit. "So you're telling me you lost the shipment?"

/No we didn't~/ He cringed at the loudness of the other's voice. /We just, uh, I mean--we didn't! We swear!/

"Then why the fuck are you calling me, if you have some?" he ground out, rubbing his forehead. "And just so you know--I'll change my number again if you two keep calling me."

/B-But Yuu!/

/We love you!/

He heard clattering in the background, along with a curse from one of the two. "Tch, of course you do." Sarcasm practically dripped from his voice. "Is that it?"

/You mean you'll let us come over?/

"No."

/B-Bu--/

"I have a guest over," he replied simply. "Fuck no."

/Is it that redhea--/ He never heard the end of the sentence--he had already hung up.

"Tch, idiots." He turned on his heels and sighed, picking up the glass of diluted vodka he had poured himself as a wake-me-up, before stopping, and scowling. "You're up, aren't you?"

Finally, Lavi stepped into the living room, a slight frown on his face, though more from confusion than anything else. "Yeah...I just woke up, actually. Like--a few minutes ago. Who was on the phone?"

He stepped closer to Kanda, stifling a yawn with the back of his hand, and--once he got close enough to Kanda to smell it-

"Is that...straight vodka? Eww..." He wrinkled his nose distastefully. "How can you stand that? Actually, never mind that--where do you get it?"

Kanda blinked and looked down at the glass.

"Does it matter?" Though he knew. Yes, yes it did. The beer was understandable, because Lavi would actually drink it. But vodka? He'd have to come up with something to explain that. Something-

"Yeah. It does," Lavi insisted, his eye dimming slightly. Yuu was hiding something from him. Yuu was...

"But, I'll let that one go, if you answer my other question. Who was on the phone? What was this 'shipment' you were talking about?" He was almost afraid to ask, but--he continued, his worry expressed full-force in his one visible eye. "What kinda shit have you gotten yourself into?"

Kanda let out a biting laugh. "What kind of 'shit'? Why do you always assume it's something bad when I don't say anything?" He cocked his head the side, and watched as Lavi tensed--and he wanted so bad to bring up the fact that really, Lavi was being a hypocrite--asking him to tell him things, when he himself wouldn't leak a drop. Even though the situations were entirely different.

"Che, it's still too early for this." Even though it wasn't, and Lavi was about to point out this very obvious fib when--suddenly--said redhead's cell-phone went off.

Lavi had just been about to retort, when his eye widened in surprise, and horror. Where was his phone? If that was who he thought it was, and Kanda-

"Yuu! What're ya doin'? Gimme my-hey!!!"

He could only watch in anticipation, as Kanda flipped his cell-phone open, and held it to his ear, a scowl on his handsome face. 'Please, please don't let it be him...'

Kanda scowled at the shocked expression on the other's face when he grabbed the cell-phone before he did, and answered, "Who the fuck is this?"

/Well someone sounds like a morning person./ He froze. It was a male's voice.

"Who is this?" he asked again.

/You're Kanda, aren't you? Goodness, Lavi said you were the rude one./

He shot a glare at Lavi who shifted uncomfortably. "Then you must be Tyki." Lavi flinched.

/Why yes, yes I am./

"Why the fuck are you calling?"

/Why on Earth are you answering Lavi's cell-phone?/

"He's calling to talk to me, Yuu," Lavi growled out, reaching for the phone. But Kanda pulled it away, holding a hand out to stop him. Lavi did--stop, that is--but his glare intensified, not at all diluted by his lack of a full set of eyes. "Yuu. Gimme the phone."

Kanda glared, "Che, no."

/No?/

"Not you. The baka Usagi."

There was a pause, then chuckle on the other end of the line. /I'm assuming he's awake now?/

"If he is?"

/May I speak with him?/

Lavi was making his way around the counter now, to grab the phone again, but Kanda took a few steps back and--well--crap. There was another counter there.

And Lavi was taller than him. Damnit.

"Che, no." And then--just like that--he snapped the phone shut.

"Well," Lavi began, coming to stop a mere foot away from Japanese, "someone's being a bit of an asshole. First, you're keeping secrets from me, when I'm just worried about you, and ya lie about it--now ya answer a call on my phone, from my friend, wantin' to talk to me? What is wrong with you, Yuu? Gimme my goddamn phone, so I can call him back!"

Kanda scowled. "And you think I'm the only one keeping secrets? Look in the fucking mirror, baka! You are too--and so is Lenalee, and Allen--"

He lowered his voice at the surprised expression on the other's face, "And you don't think it's fucking annoying, do you? You think it's just grand to have everyone all worried. To only tell one person. How do you think that feels?"

Unbeknownst to Lavi, he had slipped the redhead's cell-phone into his back pocket during the conversation, now he was sure he wouldn't grab it.

Not that he was worried about the fucking phone, in any case.

"I--damnit, Yuu--yes, I keep secrets! But only because I have to!! Because people could be in danger if I told--myself included. I keep secrets because I don't want you to get hurt, an' I'm scared! Okay? I'm. Scared." He spun around, facing the opposite wall, but didn't move from his spot. Then, rubbing his temples with his fingers, he continued, though softer this time. He sounded almost...regretful.

"I...the only reason I told Lenalee, was because she called me on it. She figured it out, an' she brought it up. She wouldn't give up until I told her--and she told me a few of her own secrets, first. It was only fair, after that. Besides, by then--I knew she would understand the importance of it, because she could relate. Maybe her secrets aren't as...severe as mine--but she understands."

"Yuu...I've already said an' done things that I could be killed for, if Gramps ever found out. And he'd have every right to, because I swore an oath, damnit! And I broke it! And I don't--I don't want to get anyone else involved, who isn't involved already. I don't wanna put Yuu in danger, too."

The redhead didn't even seem to realize the full impact of all he'd just admitted--too pissed off, and frustrated, and confused--and yes, as he'd told Kanda--scared. He was frightened out of his wits.

Kanda stood there for a moment, face blank as he watched Lavi's back--unmoving, solid, but...shaking. Ever so slightly--barely noticeable. Because he understood that--Goddamnit, he understood it. 'Don't tell or someone dies'--he had heard those very same words before. He had--he-

"Lavi."

The redhead turned to him, not even full aware, from how unfocused his eye was. That wasn't good. He didn't want that. The idiot should be focused on the here, and now, and--

He raised his hand, full ready to punch them man--he even saw his eye flash for a second, in realization, before cringing shut, waiting for the impact--but didn't.

"Baka. You don't think I get that? I'm not a fucking idiot. I don't need you to tell me those things. Just..." He exhaled. "Don't think I don't fucking worry either."

"I--Yuu, I'm...I'm sorry. I never...meant to hurt you. Or make you upset, or pissed off, or worried, or whatever. I just--wanted you to be happy, an' safe. Ya know that--right?"

The instant he felt the tears brimming in his eye, Lavi looked down, his bangs hiding his face from view. After a moment, his shoulders began shaking, then a bit harder. His breath hitched in his throat, and he turned back around, taking a step away.

"I'm--I'm real sorry, Yuu. I'll...give ya some space for a bit, okay? Jus'--I'll be in your room if ya need me." He nodded, more for himself, than anyone else, and took another step, fully intending to leave the room.

Except that wasn't what Kanda wanted.

"Baka." He reached out, fully intent to grab that shoulder. "Che--are you crying?" he asked softly, when the man had frozen in place. "Why are you crying?" Stupid question. He wasn't supposed to care that much. He told him-

He told himself...what?

"Che...you really are an idiot. Fine. I'll--" He'll what?--"We'll call it even. Ask me." And he hoped the idiot knew what he was talking about.

Lavi's eye widened slightly, and he finally--he finally turned around to face Kanda, wiping the tears from his eye with the back of his hand. "I--okay then."

He sighed deeply, blinked a few times to clear his vision up, and then, "Who was on the phone with you? When I woke up? An' what's this 'shipment'?"

He hoped Yuu would answer him...because he did understand the other boy's point. It hurt, when someone you cared about kept secrets from you. Especially when it makes you worry about them.

Kanda stiffened. Of course he'd ask that--what exactly had he been expecting? Him to ask about who took his virginity? (Not that he'd answer that one either).

"Just...old friends--they're twins. And brats. Used to hang out with them, before I transferred. They somehow found my fucking number again, and have been calling me non-fucking-stop ever since." That--that was safe enough, wasn't it? Yeah.

For the second part, "The shipment was for someone else--apparently they promised this guy they'd order him something, but it got lost--or stolen--or they'll find it under their fucking bed in like 2 hours, if they actually look--they're getting heat about it, don't know why they're calling me though." He looked to the side, and sighed. "Like I'd be able to help them with it."

And he wasn't quite sure if he convinced the man. From the slight scowl on his face...he didn't quite have him. Or at least, there would be more questions--and he couldn't say more than that. Absolutely couldn't.

"Che, anything else?"

"Yes. Everything else, because you're still lying to me."

He sighed, and shook his head. Who the Hell did Yuu think he was fooling? Surely, he didn't--actually think Lavi would believe that? Did he? Suddenly, Lavi reached forward and grabbed Kanda's hand, and pulled him past the counter, and back into the living room. The redhead sat down on the couch, and patted the empty spot next to him.

"Tell ya what, Yuu. For every question ya answer honestly, I'll answer one of yours in return. Honestly. No matter what it is. But anything and everything we say here, stays between us. No telling anyone. Does that sound reasonable to you?"

Kanda stiffened.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck.' He knew the man would find out. Of course he would.

He let the man drag him to the couch though, because quite honestly, he had no fucking clue what to expect next. As the redhead let go of his hand, and sat on the couch--for a moment he thought of bolting, but then when the idiot voiced his...suggestion...to the...dilemma...he--couldn't quite say no, could he?

So he sighed, and sat down next to him. Stiff, and ramrod straight. "It stays here?" Because the 'anything' didn't really matter as much. The redhead gave a nod. "Fine. Ask away."

Lavi managed a small smile, but it didn't quite reach his eye. He did, however, grab at Kanda's hand, and squeeze it, not moving his own hand after - he hoped that wasn't too much?

"Okay, so--I can sorta believe that those...twins...are old friends. But that 'shipment' business? I want the truth about that. What is it, who's it from, and who's it for. And what does it have to do with Yuu?"

Kanda let out a sigh. "Che, fine--that? Heh." He tried to jerk his hand out of the redhead's grip, but gave up halfway through, opting to look at the man's eyes instead. If he gave him eye contact didn't that mean he'd be more believable? He'd like to think so.

"It's an 'illegal substance' that they'll probably get jail time for if they're found out. They were asking me to hide it--and who it's for? A shitload of people." He exhaled, ignoring the way Lavi's mouth opened. "Now I get to ask you a fucking question, don't I? Fine then--how long?"

Lavi nodded. He still wasn't so sure, but--the story did make perfect sense, and sounded legible. Plus...Yuu hadn't broken eye-contact with him for even a second. As for his question, however-

"'How long'...what?" He blinked, not comprehending what the other meant. There were plenty of things Kanda could be referring to, and Lavi didn't want to go and give an answer for the wrong question, if he didn't need to.

Kanda sighed, and broke eye contact for half a second--just to blink. "How long have you kept that mask up?"

Lavi paused--obviously trying to decide how to answer. He could try to soften it up--take longer to do so, but ease Yuu into it...or he could be blunt, and straight to the point. He decided to go with the second option.

"My entire life. At least--as much of it as I can remember."

Kanda scowled, then sighed. "Really." But he didn't question it, because that itself was another question he could ask. So he turned his gaze back to Lavi, and said, "Fine then--your turn."

"Where do you get the alcohol?"

Kanda blinked at the simplistic question. "There's a small shop right outside of town that sells it for dirt cheap, and doesn't check IDs." He paused for a moment. "Unless it's a special occasion and I have to go back home for the weekend. Then I just filch it from Tiedoll--he always has alcohol on hand, and doesn't give a fuck if I drink it since I'm not a drunkard."

"'Not a drunkard'...right." Lavi seemed unconvinced--which he was--as he pointed to the glass of straight vodka still in Kanda's hand. "It's...11:47am, and you have that. Uh-huh. Suuuuuure..."

He shook his head, laughing softly. "But...anyways. Your turn."

"It's the thought that counts," Kanda ground out, taking a sip of said vodka, just to prove his glorious point. Then--coughing and placing it down on the coffee table, "Fine then--so you've had this mask up for nearly your whole life...when did it start slipping? Or rather, why?"

"...."

Lavi really didn't want to answer this one. And it was apparent, from the expression on his face. But--a promise was a promise. And Yuu was his very first friend--his best friend. But would he want to know...that the reason was him?

"...When--it was when I met Yuu. When I started to care, even though I didn't want to, and never had before. B'cuz...you were different."

Kanda blinked. "W...ait...what? But--you fucking met me at the carnival--thanks to Lenalee dragging you along that one time--and you fucking nearly knocked me off..." Lavi's expression didn't change, though.

"...Never mind, I'll ask...that later. Your turn again." He took the glass again, and took a gulp, not just a sip--he could feel Lavi's lone gaze on him, though, and maybe the idiot was worried, but whatever.

"Well?"

"Where did you learn to...?" Lavi trailed off, blushing brightly, and then it was more than obvious what he was getting at.

Kanda blinked, and cocked his head to the side. "I won't answer a half-asked question."

"Fine," Lavi half-snapped, his cheeks growing even brighter. "Where did ya learn to give head like that?"

Kanda raised his eyebrow at the flushed cheeks. "I told you I wasn't a virgin, didn't I? I learned through that. As for where--in a fucking bedroom where shit like that takes place."

Lavi growled, and clenched his fist--the hand not holding onto Kanda's, of course. "That--that's too vague! You need to clarify."

But when Kanda shook his head, Lavi sighed, dejectedly. "Fine, go on. But I know what my next question is."

Kanda's lips twitched, just a little. "Of course you do." It was almost mocking, except not. "Fine then--you said I'm the one who fucking made you care--why am I 'different'?"

Now Lavi was really blushing.

Well, damn it all.

"...You were my first crush. Ever."

Kanda felt his face flush. "Wha--che." he just filed it away for another question, and grabbed the alcohol again--sending Lavi a silent look that said pretty much what he could have, as he took another sip of the vodka, and wondered if Lavi would let him get up to get some more.

Lavi grinned, spurred on by no longer being the only one blushing. Which helped him to blush a little less. But damnit, still more than Yuu.

"So. This 'bedroom'. Whose was it? Same person who made you 'not a virgin'?"

Kanda sighed. "Pervert." But he knew he had to answer the question. "Whose bedroom? Someone you don't know, and no."

Lavi grumbled lightly, but accepted the answer, nonetheless. He knew it was the best he'd get, on this particular matter.

"Well--your turn, then."

Kanda was almost surprised the man didn't ask any other questions about it--but then, if there was something he wanted to avoid...it was name use. Pushing that aside, though, he knew exactly what he was going to ask.

"I was your first crush? Why?" He bit back his next words, but somehow--yes, he'd get them in because--because--they...Lavi...had a crush on him. It was--he cut the thought off, and waited for an answer

"Phhht. Ya think I know? I never expected it to happen--it just did," he grumbled, shaking his mop of red hair.

"Before Yuu, I'd never been attracted to a single person in my whole life. I didn't think of people as people--just...animate objects to be observed, recorded, and then left behind. I hated people. But...then I met Yuu, and I started to really care about you. And that scared me. Which is--honestly?--that's why I was such an annoying bitch to you back then. I thought if I could make Yuu hate me, then I could hate you too. But obviously, it didn't work--on either of us."

"I can tell ya one thing, though. Even if I had predicted I'd eventually develop feelings for someone, I'd never have expected to be gay. Which just proves the whole 'Only a fool expects the expected'."

"A 'fool', huh?"

For some reason, Kanda couldn't wipe that soft smile off his face. "I wonder who's the bigger fool?" He shook his head at Lavi's questioning glance. "Thank you, though. It explains why you-visited me...in the hospital. But anyway...it's your turn now."

"Alright. Well...this is somethin' I've been wondering about for years now, but I couldn't ask, for--well, obvious reasons."

He sighed, and looked down. "Why didn't it work? My ploys to make you hate me, I mean. Or, well--if Yuu did hate me, why don't you anymore?"

Kanda gave him an obvious look. "Che, because you were faking it. It was easy to see." He smirked lightly at Lavi's shocked expression. "Though you were annoying. Sometimes."

"I--Well...!!" Lavi huffed indignantly, and shook his head. Then, he mumbled grudgingly, "...Your turn."

Kanda smirked ever so slightly at the man's flushed face, but wrote it off for his own question. But what to ask?

Ah, yes. "You said you told Lenalee about...your 'Bookman duties' right? Then why didn't you tell her about Tyki?"

Not that he couldn't think of a perfectly logical excuse as to why to keep that information hidden from Lenalee (the girl would freak out regardless of what poorly made mask she was wearing), but he wanted to hear it from the man's own mouth.

"I--honestly, I don't know. Just--I know it would worry her. How I...am with them. She'd say it's 'irresponsible'," he grumbled, knowing the girl would actually be right, "and just...lecture me more than usual. I didn't want to deal with that, nor did I want to make her worry. And plus--if she knew what we were doing, she'd be...checking up on me. Constantly. And it would get annoying reeaaalllyy quickly, because then I wouldn't be able to do anything without an interruption."

Kanda nodded his head. It's what he'd been expecting, in any case. "Knowing her--mask or no mask--she would." Is that why you come here? But he left that last question unasked, adding it to the growing pile, before shifting and reaching towards his glass again--finishing off what was left with an irritating huff. "Your turn."

"Well--hmm..." He paused to think a moment, before something Kanda had said, hit him. Kanda had said 'Bookman duties'. Kanda knew.

"Wait--you know? How long have you known? And why didn't you say anything sooner, if you'd figured it out?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck would you have done had I said anything?" he wondered. "When did I find out? Fuck, I don't know--it took a few years, but I guess when you stopped acting like you hated me." He almost wanted to laugh at the shocked expression on the other's face. "What? I'm not Lenalee--you don't have to fucking tell me anything."

Lavi had, indeed, just been about to explain himself. Again. But he snapped his mouth shut at Kanda's words. Okay--that was fair. But he needed to add-

"Alright. But...if you do want me to--you know, 'say anything'--then ask me. An' I'll try to tell ya as best I can. I'm--I'm sick of lyin' to Yuu. Especially now that I know I don't have to. Because you already know."

Kanda felt his lips twitch. "Isn't this why we're doing this...questionnaire? So I can know what I want?" He looked back at his empty glass, sighing. Why did he want more vodka now? Hadn't he been trying to prove a point...? Well...

"It's my turn, isn't it?" he asked vaguely, looking over at the redhead, who had his eye glued on the now-empty vodka glass. Great.

Lavi nodded. Honestly, he was a bit afraid of what sort of questions his friend would ask. But, he imagined Yuu probably felt similar, so he didn't complain.

"But...please, no more alcohol..? Not right now, at least... I'm still a bit hungover, an' the smell is makin' me feel sick..."

Kanda stiffened. "Che ,I know." Didn't mean he still didn't want any, but he shoved that part of him far-far in the back of his brain. "Who is Tyki? What connection do he and Sheryl have to the Bookman clan?"

"Well...Tyki Mikk an' Sheryl Kamelot are brothers--or, half-brothers, really. They're originally from Portugal, an' they're business men...sorta... Tyki works for Sheryl, doin' paperwork an' stuff, but--anyhow. Ya asked how they're connected to my Clan? Well, they're both informants. Very important informants. I've known Tyki for about four months now--maybe a little more. But I just met Sheryl for the first time yesterday. Bookman told Tyki to take me there..."

From the way Lavi trailed off at that, Kanda half wondered if the man told him it was 'you go or else'. "Hn, so you were getting to know the business? How nice of Bookman." He hadn't meant to sound sarcastic, but he couldn't help it--and no, his eyes weren't going to the glass, they were focusing in the hand still holding his. "Now your question?"

"Okay, well..." Lavi sighed, and laughed awkwardly. He still couldn't quite grasp the fact that Kanda knew. For so long already, and Lavi...he'd had no idea.

"You told me when ya figured me out. But...how? Was it something I did? Something I said?"

Kanda blinked. "Didn't I already...answer...?" But then, knowing the redhead, he wanted specifics. "I--well...remember when you visited me on the second day at the hospital?" The redhead nodded his head. "How Bookman came to pick you up? How I was asleep?" The man tensed. "I wasn't actually asleep then."

Lavi flinched slightly, and looked away. "You--what? But--but I thought they...gave Yuu stuff! To make you sleep!" There was no doubt, he was surprised.

Kanda gave him a dull look. "At that point, I highly doubt any medication they could give me was enough to knock me out cold baka." He cast a glance back at the empty glass on the table, not even moving it when he felt Lavi's eye land on the glass as well. "I suppose now's my turn to ask a question? And since we're on topics of hospitals...Bookman really did break your hand that one time--it wasn't an accident was it? Why?"

"Uhm...no, it wasn't an accident. Uh--it's because I was slacking off..." he trailed off, extremely embarrassed with this admission. His free hand went up to fiddle with his eyepatch, absently. "But--that really wasn't a big deal. He's done worse, but... Ah, it doesn't matter. It's over an' done with now."

Kanda scowled. That really wasn't an accurate answer--nor was this 'worse' Lavi kept talking about--he'd have to make sure to ask that later. But first, he knew the redhead would ask his question. He swallowed--damnit, why did he want alcohol again?

Lavi nodded, more to himself, than to Kanda, and then his eye went wide, and his hand flew back to his lap. Now that wasn't suspicious behavior, at all.

"W-well--how 'bout this. Yuu said ya weren't an alcoholic, but--ya keep looking at that glass, then the kitchen, not even every two minutes. What's up with that, huh? Either you're in denial, or you lied about not being addicted."

Kanda went ramrod straight. "It's--I...I'm not." Like that sounded convincing at all, and with Lavi's scowl set firmly--he knew the boy didn't believe him. "Che, fine I might be. I do watch how much I drink, and I don't drink during the week." Except if Lavi coerced him into it, but then that was the redhead's fault. Not his.

Lavi nodded, though his expression was sad. So, he'd been right. Yuu was...

"Well...everyone has their problems, right? At least you control yours, not the other way around. An'...thanks for tellin' me." He gave the other boy a smile, and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to his lips. It was completely innocent this time, however.

"So--your turn, then..." he mumbled as he pulled away.

Kanda's eyes widened slightly at the brush of lips against his, but before he knew it they were gone, leaving a pleasant tingling sensation behind. It annoyed him to think of how long it took to think of a question, but he did have one. "You said that the broken hand wasn't the worst thing he's done to you. What's the worst?"

Lavi gulped, and a quite visible shiver ran through his body, as he looked away. "Well--fuck. Ya really pick up on everything, don't Yuu?"

Kanda merely narrowed his eyes at him, and Lavi realized that a distraction was not going to work. Not this time. Not this question. Sighing, he closed his uncovered eye, and raised a hand to his eyepatch before letting it fall back down into his lap.

"He--my eye. My right eye. It's...why I wear an eyepatch... I don't want anyone to see."

He knew it was vague, but--he really, really did not want to talk about this. In fact, it had been the one topic he'd hoped they would stay clear away from. And promise or not, Kanda would have to pry this one out of him.

Kanda's eyes narrowed in a deadly gaze. "He..." But when he reached out to touch the eyepatch, Lavi moved away, looking for all the world sickened.

"Lavi."

The boy shook his head, and for once Kanda took the hint. He still had questions. He'd still be able to ask. "Fine. Your turn."

"I...u-uhm...fuck." Damnit, why was he still stuttering like that? Calm down--he needed to calm down. "How--how old were you? The first time?"

He knew it was a somewhat random question, but--hey. 'Random' meant 'distraction' half the time, right? He could at least try.

"Willingly?" Oops, shit, that wasn't supposed to--"Twelve. I think." His eyes glanced back at the glass, just to give them something else to look at.

Lavi's eye widened at that, and his lips parted to ask more, but--his turn was up now. And he could only hope against all hope, that Kanda would ask something else next. Anything but that.

Unfortunately, hope had never liked him very much.

Kanda still kept his gaze firm on the empty glass, but then, slowly, he looked back at the red head. "Your eye. Can I see it?"

Lavi flinched visibly, and seemed to shrink in on himself. Then-

"What eye?" he asked wryly--humorlessly. "There's...really nothing to see."

Kanda scowled. "Unless he gouged it out then you still have a fucking eye--or at least a damn eyelid. Let. Me. See. It. If you don't, then this questionnaire is over."

Lavi whimpered softly--he couldn't help it, damnit. Finally--he was shaking now--he turned back to face Kanda, though he kept his gaze focused on the patch of couch between them.

"You--you take it off, then." He wouldn't touch it. He didn't want to risk touching what was hidden beneath it.

"Fine then, I will." He didn't know why the fuck the idiot was shaking so bad, but then he figured he might as well find out, as he reached out and touched the side of the boy's face--feeling him tense, but not pull away as he had tried to do before--to run along the band that held the eyepatch in place.

It didn't take much to undo it--it was just a simple knot in the back, and soon the eyepatch was falling between them, and Kanda had a clear view of his eye.

Of the eye--or, well, eyelid. The skin was oddly smooth despite what looked like a few patches that hadn't quite healed, along with the horrible scar tissue that looked to be the cause of what was keeping his eye sealed shut.

He swallowed after a moment, realizing he hadn't said a word--and that Lavi looked almost nearly panicked.

"How?" It was one word, but it spoke volumes

"He--you had your question, Y-Yuu..." he muttered shakily. But...in this case--well, he had nothing more to lose here, now did he? So, he answered.

"He--he p-poured...acid. Uhm...Hydrofluoric acid. Tilted my head back--held it there--and poured. It was...just a lil' bit, but--it d-did the trick... A-an' I learned my lesson." He quickly averted his good eye, not wanting--not feeling able to look at Kanda anymore. He was too ashamed. Too disgusted with himself. And he didn't want Yuu to be disgusted with him, too...

"Technically, that was part of my question, baka." Kanda made sure to keep his voice at a whisper--in fact it seemed to be set on that by default. "But...I...." He let out a sigh, and reached up with his fingertips to brush against the eyelid. His neutral expression quickly downturned when the idiot tried to pull away--"Don't," he admonished, and before he could stop the movement, he leaned up and pressed a light kiss on the smooth skin.

Lavi inhaled sharply, and his entire body went rigid. It was a natural reaction for him--he'd been conditioned--whenever anyone got too close to his eye. And now...this was the first time he'd ever let anyone see the damage. Let alone tell them what had happened. Let them touch. But...this was Yuu. And because it was Yuu--he supposed it was acceptable.

Slowly--ever so slowly--he forced his shoulders to relax. Then his neck, his arms, and his stomach. Then the rest of him. And finally, he slowly raised his eye to meet both of Kanda's.

Kanda felt his lips twitch in response, as the boy slowly looked up at him. "Did you really think something like that would bother me?" And fuck it if it did--he'd be a hypocrite, that was for certain. "It's...part of you. You don't--need...to hide it around me--at least." Because he knew it was too much to ask that others accept that disfigurement as well.

But getting things back in order, "Che--it's your turn, by the way."

Lavi nodded slowly, and as soon as he was able, turned his face away. "Okay... Uhm...well, seeing as you made me show you this...you can answer a question I know you won't wanna, but--still. Before...ya said 'willingly'. Your...first time, it wasn't willing--you weren't willing, were you? What happened?"

Then, he added, "An'...can I put it back on now? My...eyepatch...?"

Kanda sighed. "Fine." Though he wasn't quite sure what that was an answer to, he decided to make it to both. "I...don't remember my first time. I was--young. Though."

It was vague, maybe a little bit of a lie, he certainly did...sort of remember it--that memory was too cloudy still. "It--I think...they may have drugged me?" he decided to tack on, when Lavi gave him a reproachful look that said 'I don't quite believe you'.

Ha, well, he'd hit the nail on the head for that one.

"Yuu..." Lavi whined softly, pouting as he hurried to tie the patch of black leather over his 'eye' once more. "You're still lying--why won't you just tell me the truth? I--my eye--for Yuu... I've never shown or told anyone that. Hell, I even lied to Lenalee--told her I was just born blind in that eye. Please...tell me the truth..?"

Kanda shook his head. "I--well I do remember some of it. Not a lot. I definitely was drugged, though. Not that that's surprising." He let out a laugh that sounded much to bitter--and made Lavi give him another questioning look.

"I think I was nine," he tacked on, "if that helps, anyway." Which it didn't.

But he didn't quite care anymore. He had done that to get drugs before--and sure, he had kind-of been forced...but--he couldn't remember the pain, so...

By the time Kanda had finished, Lavi looked about ready to cry. He wanted to. But he knew it would only piss Yuu off, so he didn't.

"I--Yuu..." He moved closer to the other boy, and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in the other's neck. It was the most comfort he could give, to someone like Kanda, and he was now mostly confident that he /wouldn't/ be pushed away.

And then he was being hugged.

'What?' He looked down.

He was being hugged by a mop of unruly red hair.

'Why?' Well--he didn't have a fucking clue, actually, but the bodyweight felt nice against his chest--so did the warmth (not that he'd ever admit those two things willingly)--and he wasn't so inclined to move, lest he get rid of said warmth.

But still. "What are you doing, idiot?" he asked down to the mop of red hair, feeling it shift. "I don't need--"

But of course, the redhead knew 'more' than him--didn't he always? Didn't he always disagree? Didn't he-

But this time, Lavi actually pulled away.

"Ne, sorry Yuu..." he shifted his gaze downwards, blushing. "I guess now's not the time to be 'annoying', right? Yuu just...looked like you needed a hug, so I gave you one..."

Then, he seemed to realize something. "Ne...Yuu...you seem to mention 'drugs' a lot. What..." His eyes widened. "That 'shipment'...was it...?"

"So the idiot rabbit finally put two and two together." He really couldn't help the sardonic tone, even though the redhead looked hurt by it. "Yes, it was drugs. I'm not inclined to tell you what kind, but I assume you can figure out the rest."

Or rather, he didn't want him to, but he decided it was probably better to give up the fucking Q&A now. And he wanted more vodka.

Lavi's shoulders slumped, and he sighed in defeat. Then, noticing that it looked as if Kanda was about to get up, the redhead turned to his earlier positions of 'hugging' his Japanese friends. Only this time, the purpose wasn't to comfort him, but to prevent him from leaving.

"Yuu... When Yuu said earlier, that the drugs were for...'lots of people'..." he whispered weakly, squeezing tighter, "were you included in those...people?"

Kanda froze.

'Shit.' Stupid rabbit didn't get cues that meant shut the fuck up fuck up fuck up. Which what did he expect? When the idiot rabbit's arms went around his waist and squeezed.

He wanted to move. get out, but he was already sending bright neon warning signals and fuck, fuck, fuck, the redhead already knew.

He didn't have to say a fucking word. Not that he had a chance to, before the idiot rabbit opened his mouth and words spilled out.

"Yuu...why?" His voice broke on the last word, but he didn't care. He really didn't care right now. He just cared about Yuu, and how...how he might-

"It's--but it's--you could..! If I lost Yuu, I'd--I...I dunno what I'd do..." he sniffled. So, he looked like a fool. So, he really was being a 'baka Usagi' this time. He didn't give a fuck.

"Why...why did Yuu even...?" He was going to say 'start', but--the word refused to come out. If he said it, it would make this real. Not that--not that it wasn't already, but then--it would be too real.

"Why do people fucking start in the first place?" Kanda wondered, after a moment of just sniffles coming from the red head. "Some do it just to get high--those fucking brats do, in any case--some do it to fit in, some do it because shit happens, some people do it because more shit happens, others do it because they were forced." His eyes narrowed when he felt the boy's arms tense again. "Do you honest to god want to fucking guess?"

He hoped he didn't. Or if he did then--knowing the redhead he'd check every nook and cranny and-

"I'm careful." Not that meant a fucking thing. He didn't even know why he said it--and suddenly he was being shoved, and forced around, and the redhead was glaring at him--glaring at him, but crying too. The pit of his stomach felt funny.

"No, I don' wanna 'guess'!! I want ya ta tell me, or else I wouldn'ta asked." His words were slurred slightly by his tears, and he shook his head, leaning forward to rest his face against Kanda's chest. "I jus' told Yuu--showed you--the biggest fuckin' secret I've ever had. One I told myself I'd never share with anyone! But I told Yuu, damnit, so I think you owe me this, at least! I jus' want the truth!"

Kanda swallowed, when the redhead buried his face in his chest. He--yes. He had a point, but this--"I--" this was, "I--before..."

He had always told himself he needed to be careful. Always careful--he didn't want to see those disappointed faces again. He didn't.

"I told myself I'd kick the habit." It was...simple enough, because it had become a habit. A horrible one. "I didn't...want to see..."--the faces of Tiedoll, and Marie, and even Daisya, staring at him in shock when the truth came out--horrible and ugly because he was weak, and knew it, and-

Why was the room swimming?

'Shit.'

He had to sit down. But Lavi was still looking at him, waiting for a goddamn answer--the one he was trying to fucking give but failing miserably.

Goddamnit.

"Yuu..? Didn't wanna see what?" he asked softly. He was calming down now, but--as soon as he saw the Japanese waver rock slightly on his feet, Lavi's eye widened in alarm, and he quickly pulled the other boy back down onto the couch. Which--because of both their previous positions--resulted in Kanda quite literally pinning Lavi to the couch.

"Yuu! Are you alright??"

He was vaguely aware that the redhead had said something--it had been so muffled and garbled by whatever the hell was currently blocking his ears, but he could guess what it was and managed out a quiet, "In a second. Fine. Jus'--refill." He pointed towards the empty glass, and though Lavi looked increasingly worried when he chanced a glance at him, he did grab the glass.

Maybe a little? Maybe-

"It's in the top left cabinet." He pointed towards the kitchen, not caring if the redhead saw whatever else collection he had stashed there. "Put water in it...at halfway..." Because--just because he liked it that way, okay?

Lavi nodded, reluctantly.

"Uhm...you're gunna hafta get off me first, though..." Lavi didn't want to laugh. He really didn't. But--he just couldn't help it, this time, and a light giggle passed his lips, despite the current severity of their situation. When Kanda grumbled, and sat up, the redhead crawled the rest of the way out from beneath him, and made his way to the kitchen, glass in hand.

Reaching the indicated cupboard, Lavi pulled it open--gasping slightly at the sheer amount and variety of alcohol contained inside. Sighing heavily, he began digging around inside, till he found the bottle of vodka. Then--he got an idea.

Twisting off the lid, Lavi filled the glass a quarter of the way with the strong alcohol, then put it away. Then, he went to the fridge, and filled the cup to just passed the half-way point with water.

This...was going to be absolutely disgusting. But hopefully, the sheer shock would snap Kanda out of it.

He went back to the living room, sat down on next to the other boy, and handed him the glass--somehow managing to keep a straight face the entire time.

Kanda took the glass eagerly from the boy's grip--not even caring that, even though the idiot wasn't smiling, it looked like he wanted to--and that should have sent warning bells off.

But hell, how could anyone make alcohol worse?

...Well--apparently certain redheads could. He nearly spat up the concoction, before shooting Lavi a heated glare.

Not that it worked against the laughter. And maybe he was glad he was able to draw laughter out like that, but, "Che, not that much baka." And, oh, a complete sentence too!--he tried to force himself up off the couch, though his legs were still a little wobbly--Lavi was laughing far too much to catch him until he stumbled his way to the sink to pour the concoction out.

Taking a glance at the clock--it was after 12 now, that meant he could have at least one glass right?

But when he turned back around, the laughter was gone, and he already knew the redhead was going to ask him. What the Hell--what the Hell-- wasn't it always 'what the Hell?'

"Well...you needed a wake-up call, so I gave it to Yuu," Lavi said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He physically dragged Kanda away from the alcohol stash, sat him down at the counter, and gave him a glass of cold water--straight water.

"But seriously, Yuu...what the Hell??" He shook his head. "What was that all about, back in there?"

Kanda scowled down at the water, but drank it anyway. "Che, still, you did it wrong." He busied himself sliding the glass back and forth between his hands, even though the motion was stupid. Then, slowly, quietly, he mumbled, "There's just a fucking wall in the way. That's all." He refused to look at Lavi after that--even when the idiot tried to lean closer, get in his personal space-

"What the fuck?"

He smirked inwardly as the redhead cringed

"Well...I was trying to find the wall, so I could tell it to go away," Lavi replied honestly, blinking. His face expressed nothing but the utmost seriousness, but internally--he was laughing his ass off. Well...his internal ass. But wait--wouldn't that be his prostate? Okay, sooo not going there this early in the morning--err, afternoon. Fine. His 'mental ass', then.

And now, he was laughing for real.

Kanda blinked and stared at the idiot. "What--? Did you kill a few of your brain cells drinking? Or are you really not used to having someone jack you off?" Okay, that probably wasn't making things any better, but hey--he love--liked--was never-endingly amused at making the other boy blush as red as his hair.

"..." The color of Lavi's face could rival a strawberry now, and he was so flustered, he couldn't even bring himself to speak. At least, not right away. After a few moments of his mouth opening and closing like that of a guppy--no. Don't think about guppies right now, damnit, he was blushing impossibly brighter--he finally got a word out. Rather, a few words.

"I--I was jokin', Yuu."

"Good." Kanda took a sip of water. "But really. You don't do it that often do you?"

"I've--no, I don't. I've only--three times--well, Tyki did it once yesterday," he, surprisingly, felt okay admitting this now, "an' then Yuu...last night. ...An' this morning, if it...counts..."

Kanda stopped messing with the glass long enough to notice Lavi's slight change in tone. "Why wouldn't it count?" he wondered, just to see the boy's answer--or--well-

Except his back pocket was vibrating.

"Well, b'cuz it wasn't a 'hand' job, that's why," Lavi answered, as if it were obvious. Then his eyes went wide, and-

"Hey, my phone!!!" He lunged for Kanda, grabbing his ass with one hand to hold the older boy steady, while the other hand reached into his back pocket, immediately locating the cell-phone, and pulling it out. He ignored the startled look on the other's face, and flipped the phone open, bringing it up to his ear.

"'Ello?" he spoke into it. And when he heard the voice on the other side-

-Ohshit.

"Ah--so this is the right number~" Sheryl hummed, grinning at Tyki's exasperated look as he lounged on the man's couch. "I was worried when brother dearest said someone rude was on the other line~"

Lavi coughed, trying not to laugh. "Hello to you too, Sheryl." He noted the alarmed--and...angry?--expression on Kanda's face when he said the man's name, but paid it no mind.

"Yeah... Tell Ty-pon I'm sorry 'bout that, ne? I assume he's with you? We just...had a bit of a rough start this morning..." He coughed again, though this time for a different reason, and hoped to the Gods above that Sheryl wouldn't pick up on it.

"A rough start?" the man wondered, rolling over on the couch, and grinning languidly at brother dearest, who was just about to hand him a bowl of frosted cheerios. "I certainly hope your hangover wasn't too bad--or--oh dear, did he take advantage of--"

Immediately, the phone was jerked out of his hand--and likewise, the phone from Lavi's.

"What is he--" They both realized they were talking to each other again. Lovely.

"Tch,"

"Put Lov-Lavi on the phone."

"How 'bout not. And stop fucking calling." And then, Kanda very presumptuously snapped the phone shut. "If they're going to fucking call--text them, and say call at home. Besides, you need to call Lenalee, don't you?"

Lavi's eye had been narrowed at Kanda in anger, but when the other boy mentioned their female friend, his eye widened almost comically.

"Well--shit! Gimme my phone then, Yuu bastard!" He scrambled to grab said electronic object out of the Japanese's hand. Once he had it, he quickly hit Lenalee's speed-dial, and wandered over to the couch, waiting for her to pick up.

Finally, there was a clicking sound on the other line--she's opened her phone--and Lenalee's voice answered.

/Lavi? You're calling from your phone now? I figured it was dead, when you called from Kanda-kun's.../

"Aha, no. I--left it in the living room last night, and--didn't feel like gettin' out of bed yet, when I called you earlier..." He blushed slightly, thinking of why he'd forgotten his phone on the coffee table...

/Oh...okay, well, what are you doing now? Can you...talk...yet?/ she asked, and her voice--her voice was only slightly threatening, but Lavi gulped nonetheless.

"W-well...now's...not really the best time, actually. Me an' Yuu are just...discussin' something."

/Well then, let's all meet for lunch. I called Allen earlier, after I talked to you, and he wants to know what's going on, too./

Lavi sighed. "You...told Allen? Ugh, fine. Well--I'll ask Yuu." He turned to face the Japanese boy, who'd followed him into the living room, and relayed the offer. But the look on his own face, said he really, really didn't want to go.

Kanda watched the redhead's face pinch up in that way that he knew meant that--Lenalee was trying to goad him into something. And when he relayed the offer, he sighed. "Che--don't you have to get home baka?" Because he knew it was a viable excuse--maybe one Lenalee could understand. "I don't think you want to risk having your...grandfather continue to wonder what the fuck you did last night."

He saw the redhead cringe, but it was enough, wasn't it? To get Lenalee off his back.

Lavi smiled--it was grim, and slightly pained, but still a smile--at Kanda, and nodded in thanks, before refocusing his attention on his conversation with Lenalee.

"Actually, Lena-chan--I really need to get home. I...haven't even spoken to Gramps since yesterday mornin', when I called him from school. An' I'm already gunna be in shit when I go back, just for being late, an' not calling earlier. So--maybe another time, okay?" He heard the girl on the other end sigh, frustrated, but-

/It's alright, I guess. I mean--it's not, but--you're right. I didn't take Bookman into account. You...really haven't talked to him? Shit, Lavi...you're gonna be in big trouble. Just...call me back after, okay? Please?/

Lavi sighed, and dropped his head, just a little, before biting the words out. "I...might not be able to call you back, Lenalee. Not tonight, anyways." Before the girl could protest--which, he knew she would--he hung up the call.

Kanda's eyes narrowed into a scowl, at the foreboding tone of the other's voice, but he knew just as much as Lenalee did--no, more than--yes Lavi wouldn't get out unscathed. "Should I drop you off in front of your house, or a block away?" Because now he could ask without it being a silent question between them.

But it did hurt when the idiot nodded his head. Because that meant--that meant--well, of course he didn't want to get him involved. He couldn't exactly blame him anymore-

So he sighed, and muttered, "Go get your fucking shirt on, then we'll go."

Lavi nodded, letting out a heavy sigh. "Alright. I left it in your room, so--be right back."

And he wandered off down the hall, disappearing from Kanda's sight momentarily, before returning a less than a minute later, now fully clothed. He raised his eye to meet Kanda's gaze, and shrugged, smiling tightly.

"So…shall we go? Best get this over with--an' outta the way…" He didn't say anything more as Kanda gave him a strange look--well, 'concern' was strange for Kanda, wasn't it?--and grabbed his keys off the counter, shoving them into his pocket. The redhead followed him out the door, and silently got into the passenger side of the car, buckling his seatbelt, and shutting the door behind him.

He couldn't bring himself to say a single word.

They reached the familiar street all to fucking soon, in Kanda's opinion, and he stopped at the familiar stop sign (that had once had--to his amusement--a small sign posted to it, scrawled in pink hand writing--'In the Name of Love'. Only thing that made people stop, not that now was the time to be thinking over...that...), and let the idiot rabbit out. Watching him, and watching him, until he was far enough down the street-

But he couldn't stand the painful feeling in the pit of his stomach. He'd hope the idiot would be okay. Hope because--well--what more could he do?

--

Lavi's pace slowed considerably as he got closer and closer to the front door of their rather...'quaint' little home. It was a small house, two stories, with a nice little garden out front. The neighbors had never suspected a thing.

Finally, the redhead came to a stop, and after only a moment's hesitation--no, he was not trying to prolong the inevitable--he turned the knob, and pushed open the door.

"Gramps! I'm home!" he called, surprising himself with how even he'd managed to keep his voice. Shutting the door behind him, he untied his boots, and kicked them off, before wandering into the living room where he was sure 'Gramps' was probably waiting.

It had been more than a day since he had heard from the redhead--much less seen him, and yes, Bookman was...peeved. Maybe a little more-so, when he heard his idiot apprentice's voice echo in from the foyer. Scowling, he turned to the boy who walked in--like everything was good and right with the world.

"Where have you been?" Though he already knew the answer. "I'm certain I told Sheryl not to keep you for the entire night?"

"Ah, he didn't keep me all night," Lavi assured. "After I got the tour, I went out for dinner with him an' Tyki. An' I'd told Yuu-chan I'd go over to his place later, so I got Tyki to drive me there. But I was really tired, an' ended up crashin' at his place. I actually just woke up a lil' while ago, which is why I didn't call, an' didn't get home till now."

He nodded, and sat down on the couch. "So, what's up? I woulda called /last/ night actually, but by the time I got back to Yuu's place, I figured an old man like yourself would already be in bed~"

Bookman scowled at the grin.

"How considerate of you." Now that the boy was closer, he did a cursory scan; his shirt was at an odd angle, and his belt was a little askew as well, and his shoulders--while tense--seemed oddly...relaxed. As if--but no. He certainly hoped that wasn't the case.

"You know the rules," he murmured, and that was all he needed to say, "and you broke those rules. Have I taught you nothing?"

Lavi almost flinched--almost. Instead, he grinned widely, and clapped Bookman lightly on the back.

"Sure, ya taught me lots! Almost everything I know, I learned from you, Jiji." He intentionally avoided the topic of 'rules', but--perhaps that hadn't been the best idea.

Bookman latched onto the boy's arm, making sure to dig in to the boy's skin--not hard enough to bleed, but hard enough for the boy to yelp and jerk his hand back, "You are creating attachments, just by staying over at this 'Yuu-chan's' house. You know this is forbidden."

"Don't make me laugh, old man," Lavi scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You never said I wasn't allowed to have 'contacts', did ya? I went to Yuu's b'cuz it was convenient. Plus, the more people feel comfortable around me, the more people 'trust' me--then the easier it is to get information that could possibly be beneficial. You know I'm right."

"You may be right, but do not think I haven't noticed." There. There was the slightly panicked look in that lone green eye. "Do you even know how many times you've said that boy's name? How many times you've 'stayed over' simply because it was 'convenient'? I wouldn't have thought you'd be foolish enough to think I haven't been keeping track."

"I..." There--that was where he screwed up. He had paused. You never pause when talking to Bookman. It only got you in trouble.

"So--so I have a friend? One friend. At least--it keeps me from being bored, when I have nothing else to do. Right? And...it's...moral support. Which I need sometimes. Like--for studying. Or--or motivation. Right?"

Bookman's face set even further into a frown. So the attachment had been made. He had been afraid of this.

"Lavi."

The boy went ramrod straight--mouth snapping up. "You realize what this means, don't you?"

And he was sure the boy did.

xoxox

Author's Note: Holy crap, 39 pages, okay yeah--we outdid ourselves with this chapter. *laughs* But it was also one of our favorites. Emotional turmoil, and all that. Maybe I feel slightly bad. Or not.

Erm, regardless--Have Questions? Comments? Loved it? Have CC? Send it via review! We'd love to hear from you! (and now I must be heading to bed…I think).

Until the next chapter!