AN: ok I'm so sorry this took so long to come out, and I'm really not sure this is my best work, but bear with me, this is the chapter where I change the story from being a one-shot into an actual story, so sorry no lemons this chapter, and its shorter than my usual chapters, but I promise next chapter will be longer, lemon filled and going somewhere.

Chapter 3: New Discoveries

BPOV

I almost collapsed, I was so embarrassed. Fuck this was supposed to be the easy, cowardly option, well there goes the last time I listen to my brain. Not only do I awkwardly try and seduce my teacher, but then I tell him, that I watch him when he's giving lessons to my next door neighbour, Stalker much Bella? I'm just overwhelmed, overwhelmed with everything. I can't believe I started crying; I started crying, because I knew that this was the last time, he could never want me anymore.

I was such a slut, just like Jess and Lauren, I wanted more, never had I felt this way, sure I wasn't some saintly virgin thanks to my drunken stupor and lack of inhibition, but that didn't erase the fact that I was not normally like this. I had acted like a slut, I had seduced my god damn teacher, even tied him up. Just the memory brought shame and guilt, so then the word vomit starts, as well as more tears and I almost tell him everything, all my worries and thoughts. Then he kissed me. He stopped my words of hate and self-loathing and fucking kissed me. He had made it very clear before, that this was about sex, didn't he? I mean he practically told me that he wanted me to come back and Fuck him senseless, but that didn't necessarily mean he cared for me or anything did it? Like I said before overwhelm, overwhelming, overwhelmed, three words I can use to describe how I feel. My situation is going to overwhelm and engulf me, until I surely drown. I was definitely feeling the overwhelming sense of unease, at what I had done. I was overwhelmed that I could do such a thing, seriously I fuck my teacher twice in one day and a teacher had caught us in a compromising position, of which had he come a couple of minutes before, would have witnessed that I fucked his co-worker's brains out and then I expect nothing to happen? Who am I fucking kidding?

And yes you're right, all these thoughts were running through my head when Mr. Emmett McCarty was staring at us wordlessly trying to think of a logical reason why we were just in each other's arms, I almost laughed as I saw him trying to think with his eyebrow furrowed together. What the Fuck? No Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm almost laughing when I've just been caught making out with my teacher? Fuck I must have turned psychotic in the last minute.

"What the Fuck is this?" I heard him say, when he figured out the truth, and only reason why we were indeed glued to each other's faces.

Edward seemed unable to do anything. Fuck I could almost feel my hysterics threatening to unleash themselves, I had to get out of there I fucking had to, before he could blame it on me. I quickly grabbed my bag, without a second glance, almost breaking down. It wasn't until I was locked safely in my beat up old red Chevy, that I let it all out. I screamed, I cried, I laughed, that's right I fucking laughed, and because my stereo refused to do what I wanted it to do, I tore it up, practically ripping my fucking fingernails off. Ok I admit, I was confused, and hysterical and Fuck My Life.

The pain, that's all I could focus on, the pain grabbing at my heart. The pain of guilt, of self-loathing, of –yes I'll admit it- a broken heart. It's not necessarily that I'm in love with Edward, I just don't know what I'd do without him, he's a mentor, a friend, a companion and I love him. Despite everything I love him, and I guess I can't help who I do and don't love, can I? I truly thought he wanted me. I thought I was more than an easy lay, a forbidden prize, but no, it's obvious that now that we've been caught nothing is going to change, except perhaps the amount of times I will now blush whenever I'm in his class, remembering how soft his lips felt against my lips, my cheek, my neck, or the dirty words that he says in the throes of passion. That is something I will never forget, and will never hear again. It's just not fair, that I won't get to see him so vulnerable, yet so happy ever again.

I guess life is just not fair, it was not fair when it took my parents away from each other, it was not fair, when my mum remarried and left me to Forks, and it is certainly not fair, that my dad is never home, because I look too much like my mum who left him, and resulted to spending time with my teacher, so much that I find herself in the position where not only do I love my teacher, but I have also fucked him twice, talk about fucked up. It didn't take me long to get home, especially pondering on all the turmoil in my head. The soothing noises of my truck ceased and I opened my front door, ready to be overcome with emotion, when I saw a note on the door.

Out fishing with Billy, you know the drill

Love Dad

Great, after everything that has happened I'm left at home alone to wallow in my own self-pity, just my fucking day. Although I guess I can't fault dad, every Thursday he and Billy go fishing after work, and then go back to his place to watch the game. I use to go there too, and see my friend Jacob Black, but ever since Edward Cullen gave lessons to Mrs. Clearwater next-door. I would feign tiredness and school work, just so I could see him. I haven't seen Jacob for almost 6 months. That makes me sad, Jacob was my best-friend until Edward came along, and now look what has happened. Jake was always the one I turned to, and now I barely see him, because I've been too obsessed with a teacher, to even bother to call him, poor unsuspecting Jake, he use to ring me every Thursday when I first stopped coming, but at the time I didn't care, every Thursday for 6 Months. Thursday... wait that means...

Fuck it's Thursday, my usual ritual consisting of watching Edward and Mrs. Clearwater have a piano lesson, sit for another hour dreaming of what it would be like to touch Edward, begrudgingly make dinner for myself, go back to my room pondering on what Mr. Cullen was like in bed and during this fall asleep. Will he come tonight? Is he game enough to come; now knowing that I live next door? He practically wrote me off as an easy screw, he didn't even respond when Emmett found us. But then what was that kiss? If I was just an easy screw why would he kiss me afterwards? I looked out the window, thinking to myself, everything is just too complicated, why don't I quit while I'm ahead, my inner musings were brought forth from the site before me. Fuck Me.

EPOV

I could feel the tension practically strangle me. I literally could not breathe properly, what with everything going on. I couldn't even answer Emmett's question, because the truth is, I had no fucking idea. What the Fuck Is this? I'd had Bella around my cock twice now, and I know that in my 24 years, I have never felt anything like that. Could I really just call it sex? I was so fucking confused.

I felt Bella shift and move, leaving. I knew she had to leave, but I didn't want her to. She was probably just as confused, if not more so than me and now I have to deal with Fucking Emmett, by myself. Fucking Great.

As soon as she left the room, I waited for Emmett to start, already cringing slightly. There was still dead silence, I think he was waiting for me to answer, but my thoughts were nowhere near what he wanted me to think. I should be feeling extreme guilt that I'm a dirty old man that took advantage of his young naive student, and that I should never teach again. Don't get me wrong, these thought were definitely in my mind, but images of Bella kept popping up. Her small smile at my lame ass jokes, her sexy smile, her face of pure pleasure in my lap, Her crying, a look of self-loathing as she berated herself, and finally panic and hysteria, as she reached her bag, and a completely dead look as she brushed past me to the door. That last look is what haunted me the most, that deadness, corpse-like, that's what broke me.

My knee buckled under me and I slowly sank to the floor, wondering how the fuck I was suppose to fix this, I had to fix her, she was so breakable at times, and I needed to make this better, I was just so Fucking confused. I looked up, Emmett still gaping at me, and I lost it, it was his fault. If he hadn't interrupted, she would never have left like that, Fucking Emmett and his inopportune barging in.

"What the Fuck are you doing here Emmett? Why the Fuck did you Barge in? She was so scared and upset, and I'm comforting her, then you fucking Barge in, do you know what you just did? Did you see her broken face as she left, you're the cause, you broke her Emmett." At this my voice sounded hysterical even to me, but I broke off to a whisper at the last line.

Emmett looked at me sadly, pity evident in his eyes.

"No, Edward you did"

As the reality of his words hit, I realised I had been blaming Emmett for my fault, my transgression. I had to make this right, I had to show him.

"I didn't mean to, it just happened," I started. Emmett groaned and ran his hand through his hair.

"Edward, tell me that was all, please, tell me I interrupted you before anything happened"

What do I do? Do I lie to my best friend since High School; do I lie to the guy that's always had my back? Fuck I couldn't do that to him, he had told me, when he said he had fallen in love with Rosalie, his mechanic. So why couldn't I do this? Oh that's right, he might become so sickened by me, that he'll tell the school board and never speak to me again. He wouldn't do that, I don't think.

I sighed placing my head in front of my knees on the cold hard surface looking for relief.

"I can't tell you that Emmett, not unless you want me to lie to your face" I whispered quietly

"Fuck Edward" he exclaimed while running his hands through his hair.

"Why Edward, why? What the Fuck would possess you to-"

"Look Emmett, it's not going to happen again, I can at least promise you that."

"Edward, you like her don't you? You can't promise me that if you like her"

"Of course I like her, if I didn't like her, I wouldn't have fucked her now would I? And of course I can stop, I'm not a fucking teenager anymore"

"So it was just one fuck, am I right?"

I looked down at the ground, contemplatively. I had to get her out of my head; I had to show him that she didn't mean anything to me, or did she? So do I lie?

"That was the second time, ok? Earlier today during lunch was the first. That is it; I buried my own grave when I gave her detention after class, then we sort of attacked each other. I was determined for it not to happen, but I was so weak, seeing her twice in a day screws with my resistance Emmett"

"You screw her twice? Then say to my face that it means nothing. Did you not see her face as she ran out of here Edward, I never thought I'd say this to you Edward, but that is appalling. You think you're all high and mighty, nobody can touch me, I'm untouchable, but then you go and do this. Need I repeat Edward What the Fuck?"

"I'm Sorry, it wasn't supposed to happen" my voice cracked

Emmett looked down at my broken form

"I'm not the one you should be telling that to"

"What do I do Emmett? I thought it was fucking, but now I'm not so sure. I've lusted after her for so long-"

"You've been lusting after your student and you didn't even fucking tell me, I could have prevented this whole thing, but now you're up shit creek without a paddle, because you can't control you're dick"

"Look it's not like that Emmett, I-I really like her" there I said it, I like her, not just because she had a beautiful body, but because she liked to read the classics, her copy of Bronte was one of the most weathered, yet preserved copies I had ever seen, Because she didn't like double standards, and her stubborn temper, would make me laugh, because of the way she would laugh, when I told my extremely lame jokes, or when I praised her on her work. Because of the way she furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, when I would critique her work. Because she was the sweetest kindest person I had met, and wanted to understand the way she ticked.

"You really like her huh?"

"Yeah" was my weary reply

"Edward... I don't know what to say. I'll look out for you man, but seriously, it's your first year of teaching, and you fall for your student."

"Is it really so bad that I like her Em?"

"Yeah," he sighed," yeah it is."

I was still on the floor. I got up, tears were threatening to break. I hadn't felt this bad in so long.

"Edward, dude you look like shit. Go home and chill, we'll figure this out tomorrow, yeah?"

"Ok Em thanks for having my back" I murmured monotonously

"No probs, sorry if I was a little harsh back there, you know you just caught me by surprise"

"Yeah I know" I walked off, melancholy gripping my very body. I didn't even register getting into my car and driving home, until I realised I was parked in my parking lot. I banged my head against the steering wheel, finally realising what I had done. This realisation hit me all at once. Poor Bella, she must hate me, she must loathe me, I need to make it up to her, and stop this before it goes too far. My phone went off. Fuck, it's Thursday, that means I am supposed to be teaching Sue Clearwater piano. God must hate me, if he subjects me to this torture.

I hurriedly rushed to her house, only to be cut off by two cars making their way into the house next to my destination. One was a police cruiser, I assumed to Charlie Swan coming home from work, funnily enough, in the 6 months that I had been teaching Sue Clearwater, I had never seen the cruiser home at this time. The other car was an older model Volkswagen Rabbit, and behind the wheel I could just make out the shape of a young man and an older man behind the wheel. They also pulled up behind the cruiser. Who are they? And why are they at the Swan residence? I parked ahead of them slightly amongst the shadows, to watch the scene unfold. Wait why did I care? Wasn't I supposed to avoid Bella at all costs? But I want to know who the guy is.

I saw Charlie Swan hurry to front door, and opening the door.

"Bella hurry up, I've got a surprise for you"

I saw Bella reluctantly walk to the door warily. I chuckled softly at her; she always said that she hated surprises. I watched the scene unfold, and a small pang in gut, became even more prevalent.

"Jake" I heard her cry out surprised, before she ran into his waiting arms.

"Bells, I've missed ya" the man I assumed was Jake replied, wrapping his arms around her, before spinning her around, while she giggled at his antics. It was the clear the love in his eyes, and I couldn't help but growl at the Boy, but then what right did I have? I was her teacher, maybe even borderline friend/acquaintance; here was her boyfriend, wrapped up in her. She probably didn't even want it; she was probably scared I'd fail her or something if she didn't do what I what, god I'm such a sick pig. God she must hate me now, I need to get her and everything out of my head. Fuck.

I made my way towards the house next to the one I wanted to be going to. In a most sombre mood I walked to the doorstep, and rang the bell. Before I entered the house, I turned around, hoping to catch one more chance. I turned as chocolate brown eyes met my green. I looked at her painfully, seeing the boy's arms around her waist, before I turned and entered the house.

AN: so people I know that Jakes there, but believe me, it's not some stupid love triangle thing, I love Jacob, but I'm truly Team Edward. Besides Edwards got more to be worried about than another guy crushing on Bella, this was to get them moving a little, ok now I realise it's not my best chapter to be honest, was scared to even post it, but bear with me for the moment, have already started writing next chapter.

And Lastly ... REVIEW! Just share some love, because at the moment sort of drawing up blanks as to whether you like what I'm doing, or where I'm taking this, and any suggestions or ideas would love to hear.