School life. SasuHina: Song. Ch30.
Sasuke was running to his ex-apartment. He rushed in and quickly run to his parent room. *Where is it!?* He looked under bed, in his parent closet and every possible place. When Sasuke was about to give up, he looked under desk. There was a letter. –It's that… Isn't it? – Said Sasuke and took it. He opened the letter and smiled. This letter was more than ten years old. *Hinata's handwriting was so elegant even then.* Thought Sasuke and read it.
Dear Sasuke,
There is one song that I really love just like I love you. I thought that when you will break my heart, I will sing it, listen to it and live the rest of my life with it, but I think I will never be able to do that, because you don't remember me at all. I have cried so many nights and got angry at you because of that… But I understand that you aren't at fault. You're not at fault that you forgot everything and I can't blame you, hate you or get mad at you… This is the song that I really liked and thought that I will be crying by listening to it, but this is the last time I will listen to it or cry because of you. I have to believe and be strong.
The saddest thing is you could be anything
That you could want
We could have been everything
But now we're not
Now it's not anything at all
The hardest part was getting this close to you
And giving up this dream I built with you
A fairytale that isn't coming true
You've got some growing up to do
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish I didn't have these doubts
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye
After all the things you put me through
Tell me why I'm still in love with you
And why am I, why am I still waiting for your call
You broke my heart
I'm taking it back from you
And taking back the life I gave to you
Life goes on before and after you
I've got some growing up to do
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish I didn't have these doubts
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye
It's time I said my last goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye
It's time I said my last goodbye
I wish we could have worked it out
I wish I didn't have these doubts
I wish I didn't have to wonder just what you are doing now
I wish I didn't know inside
That it won't work out for you and I
I wish that I could stop this wishing and just say my last goodbye
It's time I said my last goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye
It's time I said my last goodbye
Goodbye, Goodbye
It's time I said my last goodbye
P.S. I still want to be with you.
Sasuke rubbed places where ink was smudgy. *That proves that she was crying then.* Sasuke stood up and rushed back to hospital.
When Sasuke walked in Hinata's ward, she was conscious. –Hinata… How are you? – Asked Sasuke. He could see that Hinata was weak but when Hinata saw Sasuke, her expression changed from weak to strong and cold. *I can't let him know that I am weak… I don't want to see him mad or worried.* Thought Hinata and sighed. –I'm fine. Soon I will be out from here again. – Said Hinata and Sasuke tried to smile. –Don't lie. Doctor said that only miracle can save you. – Sasuke sadly said and sat on Hinata's bed. –And you think that I will not get a miracle? – Asked Hinata cheerfully. *Why does doctor has to tell everything to him!?* Thought Hinata angrily. –It's not that… - Answered Sasuke. *Time I've been patient for so long, how can I pretend to be so strong? Looking at him. Feeling its Sasuke. If I'm asking him to hold me tight, will it be all right? * Thought Hinata and smiled.
–I believe that I have fought for my life and done much enough; for that one who are making miracles happen. I think that if I will choose to live I will live. – Hinata smiled. –And what if you chose to die? – Asked Sasuke and quickly placed hand on his mouth. *What am I talking about!?* Thought Sasuke. –It…. It's possible that I can choose that path… But I don't want to leave everything behind… Somehow I think that I promised it to everyone who already has done it… - Hinata giggled. –I think its sounds like I am crazy… - Said Hinata. –I think it's possible that you are crazy. – Sasuke said and giggled too. –But… I think it's possible that you made that promise too… Because I have heard that; when peoples are dead for some time; like you were dead for fifteen minutes; they can meet their precious ones. It means that you could meet them… - Sasuke smiled sadly. –Now you're the one who sounds like some psychotic. – Hinata punched Sasuke's shoulder weakly like friends do.
–Hinata… Have you forgotten that we are married? I'm not only your friend. I am your husband and… - Sasuke stopped. *And your love…* Thought Sasuke. Hinata's smile dropped. –Yeah… My husband… - Said Hinata and saw that Sasuke pulled out some letter from pocket. –This letter… You send me half year after my parents died… I remembered about it only half an hour earlier. – Sasuke gave it to Hinata. Hinata took it and froze. –This letter… It's… - Hinata didn't know what to say. She opened it and read it. –That song still is on my mp3, computer and CD… But I haven't listened to that song since this letter. – Hinata sadly smiled. She was holding her tears. –And one more thing Hinata… - Started Sasuke but suddenly Hinata lost her conscious. Her heart started to work faster, then slower and again faster. In ward rushed doctor and some nurse leaded Sasuke out of there.
Five minutes latter some nurse came to him and gave Sasuke two papers. –Hinata-Sama was tightly holding this in her hand. – She said and left Sasuke alone. Sasuke opened one of them. It was letter which Sasuke gave her earlier. But he was really surprised when he opened the other one. It was another letter which was written a moment ago.
Darling,
I don't remember when one letter send to you was, but there was a song lyric written and I told that it was my favorite song, but now it has changed. After so many years I still hold dear my feelings towards you. Earlier it was just a kid love, that could end at any time but I knew if I will believe, it will become a real, deep and beautiful love story about a Prince and Cinderella. Funny isn't it?
When I came to school, when I saw you after a long time, I knew it was you. My first thoughts were 'That guy behind him (Naruto)… Sasuke! Looks like schools sexiest guy, probably playboy. Probably had sex with every girl he wanted.' But I knew that those thoughts were false. It was easier to lie to myself like I never before was your friend or you were my first love so I thought that I could start everything again.
Anyway now I can say that I really loved you back then, in childhood, and I still love you. I don't know what you are feeling towards me. Is it sympathy, mercy, hate, love or anything else, because you never told that to me directly and that was killing me slowly. I wanted to tell you about my feelings so many times but I never got the courage to tell them and the biggest thing that stopped me was because I didn't have any doubts what were you feeling towards me. I don't want to say 'I love you' first, but my heart - it can hardly wait.
Back in childhood I never understood you're expression after your parents died, even if before I could tell what you thought only by looking at your face, but then I never thought about it so much. Later I understood what you felt, because I lost my mother and had to fight for myself. I understood what you were feeling and thinking and I ended up falling in, love with you and another song… I don't know what are you thinking at the moment or what was in your head these past years, but I can tell you that I love you…
Probably if you are reading this lyric, I am already not around you… I am not saying that I am dead; I will fight for my life until the end, because I want to know what you're feelings are towards me.
Read them and believe that I really understood you back then.
Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside, it's cold outside
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside, it's cold inside
And your slowly shaking fingertips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
I was born to tell you I love you
Isn't that a song already?
I get a B in originality
And it's true I can't go on without you
Your smile makes me see clearer
If you could only see in the mirror what I see
And your slowly shaking fingertips
Show that you're scared like me so
Let's pretend we're alone
And I know you may be scared
And I know we're unprepared
But I don't care
Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
Slow down boy, you're not going anywhere
Just wait around and see
Maybe I'm much more ,you never know what lies ahead
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed
I can be anyone, anything
I promise I can be what you need
Tell me tell me
What makes you think that you are invincible?
And I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable
Impossible
P.S. It's not easy to tell you that I am vulnerable. I really am trying my hardest to be invincible but that's impossible for me and everyone else… So just let me know that you're vulnerable and I will do everything to protect you from pain.
Sasuke sat there and cried. *When it comes to you, I am vulnerable and not only that… I am really weak and rake.* Sasuke got up and went to Hinata's ward. Hinata was really weak.