AN: Yes this has been a long time coming, and I truly am sorry for the wait. But I've had multiple deaths in the family, finishing school, starting Uni... etc etc. So I give you permission to hurt me, just don't hurt Edward and Bella, because they don't really belong to me, but to S Meyer, I'm just unimaginative. So this was technically supposed to come out New Years Day, but because I'm slack I only had half of this done. So instead I am bringing it to you Australia Day, happy Australia Day everyone. Many G'day's all around. I promise next chapter won't be as long a wait.

Chapter 7: Desperate Measures.

EPOV:

I scarpered. Yes I'll admit it I was fucking scared. We stared at each other, neither of us blinking, neither of us moving a muscle. I was fucking speechless, absolutely unprepared for the consequences of my eavesdropping tendencies. When it came to fight or flight, I was always the fucking bird, the stupid pansy assed bird that flew south for the winter. I ran away from her and the surprise, hurt, shock and anger. I can't imagine what she saw in my eyes, but I can't fucking believe she thinks that of us, of me. I honestly had no words, so I did the only thing programmed into my brain, I ran, I fucking got up, and walked as fast as possible towards the white doors of Mrs. Clearwater's house. Even as I walked I could hear her calling me, pleading me to come back and explain, her voice permeating through the night.

I didn't look back.

As much as I wanted to I couldn't, my mental and emotional state was already hanging by a thread so a confrontation about my stalking tendencies would probably be enough to make me boil over, and end up with me either yelling at her for thinking so low of herself, or attacking her to show her how good she makes me feel, both reactions would have dire consequences. Not even Tanya had had the ability to calm me and to make me see sense, like Bella used to.

I remembered when I had been having a rough day, Esme was on my back about coming to visit her and Carlisle, and when I had blatantly refused her for the fifth time that week, she broke down in tears and told me that we were supposed to be a family, it would have been what my parents wanted. I couldn't speak to her anymore after that and I ended the call. It just so happened to be the day of Tanya's birthday, and I was a complete mess.

The door swung open quietly and she entered the room, I could tell by the simple aroma of strawberries and freesia that infiltrated the air. Upon seeing me, head on the desk and everything a mess, her steps faltered and she approached me unsure. At that point I was beyond caring who walked through that door, but all the same I was grateful it was only her. I lifted my head slowly off the desk and stared up into her eyes. I'm sure she saw the desperation, the anger and the pain, but I was too emotionally distraught to care enough to rearrange my features, she was finally seeing the real me.

She slowly sat down in front of my desk, the silence in the room starting to be become suffocating, but neither of us wanted to be the first to break. However it was clear from her features that she was very worried for me, a thought that I was comforted by.

"Edward are you alright?"

And with those few simple words that could have come from anyone's mouth, I found myself telling her what had happened, how today was Tanya's birthday and also the day that she had left me, and Esme wanted to play happy families, while all I wanted to do was drink and wallow in self pity. Through it all she had cautiously taken my hand, and was rubbing small circles with her thumb into my palm. It was a sign of comfort, something that I had desperately needed at that time. She had not only given me comfort, but she helped me to understand Esme's actions a little better.

"Edward she's trying to take care of you, make sure you don't turn to wallowing, especially today. This is her way of trying to help you get through it, with comfort, with your family surrounding you. She is in pain too, knowing that you are in pain."

"She's not my mother."

"But you are a son to her. You might only be her nephew by blood, but to her you are her son. A mother will always protect her young when they are in pain."

We sat quietly for a while, neither of us speaking while her thumb and presence relaxed me

"Thank you," I whispered after a while.

"You're welcome," she smiled back at me

Suddenly the world didn't seem like it was out to get me today, and I knew that today was going to be alright. It might be painful, but at the end of the day the sun was always going to come back for tomorrow.

BPOV

Edward had been here.

Why had he been here, at that exact moment, when I was pouring my soul out, purging it of the bad memories.

He wasn't supposed to be there.

I tried calling out, anything to get him to turn around so we could communicate, but he wouldn't even glance back. I slumped dejectedly back onto the piano stool. Nobody in Forks knew I could play the piano except for Charlie and Jake, not even Alice knew about it. It was my way of escaping, it would soothe me to just sit down and play pieces, and Edward had invaded that, I felt betrayed that he hadn't let me know, had the common courtesy, but I guess he just doesn't know that much about me. We've chatted so many times, but Edward has a block, a wall that he thinks I don't notice when we touch certain subjects, like parents. The only time I had ever seen his walls down was that particular day, Tanya's birthday, he seemed so tired, I just wanted to smooth the tired angry lines from his face, but I still tried to help him, even if I didn't know the story.

If I couldn't get him now, I was going to wait. This had to stop; the looks of longing, the small sad smiles, the evident stalking, I can't take it anymore.

I waited for those thirty minutes to pass so I could at the very least have a simple conversation with him. He owed me that much.

I saw him as he exited the front door, saw his face transform from easy camaraderie to anxiety. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty, but this had to happen. It felt almost like Mission Impossible, and if I wasn't desperate to have this conversation with Edward I would have laughed at the way he skulked across the front lawn.

He was very much in shock, written all over his face as he approached his car seeing me casually leaning against it in the shadows. I wasn't generally a devious person, but the situation was calling for desperate measures.

He looked down to the cemented footpath, probably examining his feet, too fearful of my reaction, before he spoke to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

The way he wouldn't even look at me, acting like a boy just about to be scolded, made my heart tremble.

"Edward, you can't keep doing this, it's not fair to you nor me,"

He knew what I was talking about, you could see it in his face, I knew that once he listened to that song, that he had realised I was so much far deeper than he anticipated, and it scared him.

"It's just that, I need to feel some sort of connection to you,"

"But you can't, I can't move on without a clean break, I can't,"

"What are you saying? Move on?"

"Look Edward, it may not have meant much to you, and you probably don't want to hear this, but our friendship, dare I say relationship, meant a great deal to me, and the only way I'm going to get on with life and move on with different people, is with a clean break."

"Bella," he whispered, "you mean so, so much to me and... I'm not sure how to say this, but I'm not sure if I can move on, not knowing you are at the same place I am, just a few feet away, I need to feel some sort of connection to you, is it selfish for me to say that I don't want you with anyone else? Because that is how I feel, I can't have you, but no one else deserves you."

I could feel the tears start to well in my eyes

"Don't say things like that! Don't say things you know can never happen, God I don't think I could deal with the hope if I believed what you say, and then it is all for nothing, It needs to stop Edward, Now."

He closed his eyes taking deep breaths, clearly trying to control his emotions,

"Bella, please," he voice cracked slightly, "I just need to hear your voice, I used to look forward to those afternoon meetings we had, you always knew the right thing to say, I need that in my life, please don't take it away from me. It's been three weeks and I can't seem to function properly, and you always managed to help me decipher my life, before I fucked it up anyway," I tried to stop him, but he continued holding up his shaking hand, begging me to let him finish, dropping down to a whisper, "You don't need to be in my class, I just need to hear your voice, talk to you, I wish I didn't, but I'm done trying to live in denial, it never got me anywhere anyway," he finished bitterly.

I stood staring at him for a long time, well at least it seemed like a long time to me. My head and my heart were doing battle, urging me to just hold him and tell him everything will be alright, giving him the reassurance he so sorely needed, and the other was telling me to protect myself, not let myself get any deeper and remain firm.

I sighed glancing at the pocket of his shirt, noticing the red marking pen sticking out, how ironic.

I grasped his hand gently, and at first relishing in the feel, the feel of our bodies connected, even if it was only through me holding his hand. It was the first sign of contact we had had in 3 weeks, and while it was inappropriate, so was the next thing I was about to do, yet I couldn't bring myself to stop.

I pulled out the red pen from his pocket, hearing the sharp exhalation of breath, and grasped his wrist firmly. On the back of his hand I wrote my number. He looked at me shocked, and as the silence grew, I knew I had to go back to the house; this was goodbye, at least in person.

"If you ever need to talk."

I turned from him, dropping his hand, no matter how unwillingly and walked slowly back to my house. On the last step of my front porch I chanced a glance back. My eyes meet his eyes, and while they seemed solemn and conflicted, there was no mistaking the smile on his face, as he watched me walk away.

I left it like that short and simple, and hoped for the best. I had left the ball in his court and now it was his turn to play.

I lay on my bed, for what seemed like ages, unable to sleep as my mind kept running through visions of the future, the consequences of giving Edward my number, I felt naive and childish for the first time since this started. Regardless of everything I was still clutching my phone, constantly checking it, both anxious and fearful that he would ring.

Finally when I was just drifting off, slipping into unconsciousness, it started to vibrate. I looked at the caller id, and it was an unrecognisable number. I looked at it frantically, hell I did say he could ring, but wasn't it too soon? Isn't it customary for a guy to wait three days until he is allowed to call the girl?

My finger hovered over that green answer button, and I glanced to my bedside table taking note of the red numbers displayed

12:34 A.M

My thumb was now fully covering that answer button, but without enough pressure for it to click into place. I heard a low murmur from the only other person occupying my house, and I stupidly and belated realised that I was not the only person to hear the shrill ringing from my phone. Before I could think twice my thumb had pressed that little green button, and I was now connected to Edward, keeping Silent to listen for the tell tale signs of deep sleeping Charlie, or what I liked to call snoring.

The silence of both the household and the phone was starting to create a heavy layer of tension, but finally simultaneously the deep throaty snores of Charlie, and the soft nervous voice of Edward caused it to dissipate momentarily, at least for me. Until my brain caught up with me and realised who was actually on the other line. I was nervous.

"Edward?" I answered quietly on the phone.

"Bella," he seemed to sigh in relief, "I-I'm sorry for calling this late, but I was lying in bed and I couldn't stop thinking about today and you, and you said whenever I needed to talk you would just listen, and I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep, but it was-"

"It's alright Edward," I couldn't help but smile at his babbling, even if he couldn't see it, "I did say you could call whenever you wanted, but just a little warning would be good, if you plan on making these nightly conversations permanent."

"Like I said Bella, I am so sorry-"

"It's alright, why did you ring me? What's wrong?"

He seemed to hesitate with his answer, not quite willing to share.

"Is it weird that I just needed to hear your voice, not as a student, but as a friend?" he asked quietly

Friend the word seemed to have a bitter taste in my mouth, but I knew what he meant. I had already purged myself to Alice and Jasper, and to an extent Jake, but who did he have? Emmett? In passing he had told me of their friendship, but it is obvious to me, if not the whole student body that their easy-going friendship is something of the past. I needed to help him, I had come to care for the broken man on the phone with me, and he needed comfort and friendship, the only thing I could offer him at the present.

"I know how you feel, just tell me and I'll listen," it used to be our routine before all the bullshit and lust that we let ourselves get into.

"I don't know what to do anymore, with my life, with my family, with you," my heart started beating faster at the mention of me and his confusion, "I feel like I've lost everything, because of stupid mistakes that I have made," My heart began to sink as he said these words, "but I thank god that I have you in my life, it's the one thing I don't regret ever, and I just needed you to know that."

"I know," I empathized, "the connection I feel with you, despite all this bullshit, it won't go away, I'm not sure if it ever will," I ended quietly.

"I'm not sure if it will for me either," he murmured back

An uncomfortable silence settled on the phone, as I tried to think of something to say.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you in my class," he spoke, and this made me angry, hadn't we already discussed this?

"You know I need to leave, this can't continue if I'm in your class"

"I didn't mean to say that, it just slipped, but I know Bella, god do I know, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this, I just... just keep thinking about that last kiss," he lowered his voice, "I just want more, but I know I can't have more, I just wish I wasn't your teacher, I wish you weren't in school," his voice had started to rise, "I wish I wasn't as fucked up, that I could be more for you, I wish you were here comforting me, that I didn't have a cold empty bed, but I hope that this won't be forever, I hope that one day we can be together," his voice softened so that I almost couldn't hear him, "I hope that someday you will love me as much as I love you."

I was shocked, I almost wanted to pretend that I didn't hear him say it, except I did, and it made my heart soar, it made my stomach fill with a million butterflies, and it made my smile so wide it hurt.

"Bella Swan, I think I'm falling in love with you"

We had been through so much, and still after all of it, he thinks he's falling in love with me. I don't know what to say, do I say it back? What if I don't know? I think about everything that has happened. I think to the distance between my friends, the after school meetings, the feeling of betrayal of heartbreak, and I realise what I have been denying myself this whole time. I really was falling in love with Edward Cullen.

"Edward Cullen, I think I'm falling in love with you too"

I heard a sigh through the receiver. It seems as if he had been holding his breath waiting for my answer.

I could hear the smile the light inflection and the happiness radiate through his voice.

"I wish I could kiss you"

And just like that everything came crashing down. We shouldn't be feeling this way, he could get into so much trouble if anyone finds out about this. His words reminded me that while we might feel this way everything was against us, that it was wrong and should never have happened. It broke my heart that while we could declare all we wanted, we could never do anything about it. I had to get off the phone before I broke down. I had achieved what I wanted to, I had comforted and made Edward happy.

"Edward I have to go, I think Charlie is coming," I know my voice sounded off, but I hoped Edward thought it was fear and not the desolation that was threatening to rip my heart out.

"Ok beautiful I'll see you tomorrow," he said warily, sensing my change of tone, my heart clenched at his term of endearment.

"Good night Edward."

Once I heard the dial tone I set the phone on my bedside table and tried to not cry, I hoped that we'd get through this somehow, but in that moment I just needed to let it all out. I realised what I had inadvertently said, I was falling in love with my teacher.

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