School life. SasuHina: I love you… Ch31.
Sasuke was standing and looking at Hinata's weak body trough window. *Hinata… Please don't die! Please don't give up! You really deserved a miracle!* thought Sasuke. His eyes were wet but he didn't wanted to cry because he believed that Hinata will not die. He thought that crying in this moment would mean that Hinata will die.
In Hyuuga mansion.
Hiashi just got up and walked to kitchen. On his way there he saw a letter in front of outdoors. Hiashi picked it up and opened it.
Dear father, Hiashi,
You already know that I blame you for my mother's death right? Not only that… I hate you and I really want to kill you! I have many CD with videos where you cruelly beat up my mother! Where you act like an animal! I will send you some of those videos so you can see what have you done and maybe then you will be able to feel some guilt for what you did! Well… I'm hoping that you will just do a suicide!
But that's not the reason why I am writing a letter to you… I wanted to open up to you and show what have I felt all this time… What I thought all this time so take all your courage together before you read further this letter.
I've learned the hard way to live and fight. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me. Because of you I am afraid to let anyone close! To open up my heart and let someone find out the real me. I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh every day of my life. I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain and problems and now I cry in the middle of the night because I know I will never be able to be happy! Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in. Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you I am afraid from people love and happiness.
I remember how you hated Sasuke back then because he was a light in my life! I remember how happy you were when his parent's died and he forgot me. You were so happy that you actually didn't hit my mother for two day's which made me happy! My light in life died… He was my first love and friend! He was everything to me back then and he will always be! I could tell you his favorite color's red like blood. He loves to argue. His mother is beautiful; he has his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him, I'd lie… Never let nobody see him cry; I don't let anybody see me wishing he was mine. He'd never tell you but he can play guitar. I think he can see through everything except my heart. First thought when I wake up is 'My god he's beautiful' so I get up and make myself better every day. Yes I could tell you his favorite color's red like blood. He loves to argue and it kills me. His mother is beautiful; he has his father's eyes. And if you asked me if I love him I'd lie...
Miss independent, Miss self-sufficient, Miss keep your distance. Miss unafraid, Miss out of my way, Miss don't let a man interfere. Miss on her own, Miss almost grown, Miss never let a man help her off her throne. So, by keeping her heart protected, she'll never, ever feel rejected, little miss apprehensive. That's how you wanted me to be but I didn't end that way... She didn't want to end up jaded and this miss decided not to miss out on true love. So, by changing a misconception, she went in a new direction and found inside, she felt a connection - She fell in love. Yes I really am the way you wanted me to be but I have another thing in my heart which you never had... It's love... My love towards Sasuke, mother, Hanabi, Neji, my grandmother and great-grandmother will never die… My love towards people surrounding me will never die…
I hope that you are happy to have a strong daughter on who you can lean. Be proud because I will do everything to get to my goal…
The funniest thing is that…. No matter what you do I still think about you like about my father… And somewhere deep down in my heart I have a feeling that I love you… But it's really deep down there…
P.S. When you get this letter that means that I am dying… It means that I am waiting for miracle to save me. I will fight for my life but I can't promise…. Please don't come to hospital because there probably will be Sasuke and he really wants' to kill you… And please don't tell Hanabi or Neji anything about my condition and if I die… Tell them that I run away and left everyone behind… Tell them that I hated Sasuke and that was the reason why I run away… Not because I didn't loved them… I loved them and still really love… And U Too… I love…
Hiashi placed letter on table and sat there quietly crying. *I will do what you wanted me to… I really loved you too…* thought Hiashi and got up. He walked to his bedroom and took some pills. They were for heath. Hiashi crawled back in bed and pretended that he is sleeping.
In hospital.
Hinata was still alive but she got weaker and weaker every moment. Hinata heard someone calling her. –Hinata… Hinata… Hinata! – Voice got lauder and lauder. She opened her eyes and smiled. –Mother… - Hinata mumbled and her mother helped her get back on feet. –It's already second time… - Hinata said and smiled. –Hinata! – Her mother sharply said and slapped Hinata. –What for!? – Hinata asked surprised. –Why are you doing it to yourself!? – Her mother angrily asked and they sat down on a couch which showed up there from nowhere. –What do you mean? – Hinata asked confused. –Why are you killing yourself? You promised… - Her mother sadly said. –Oh… I know I promised but I forgot that… Our talk back then when I died… And if I die there isn't anyone who will cry for me so it doesn't matter… - Hinata sadly smiled and her mother sighed. –Look Hinata… There are people who will cry for you… - Hinata's mother smiled. –I don't believe that… My heart doesn't want to believe that… - Hinata's voice broke. –I will show you that… - Her mother said and took Hinata's hand.
After a second they were in front of Hiashi's room. Hinata heard him crying. –See… Hiashi is crying and that's something… - Hinata's mother smiled. –He never before cried. – Said she and Hinata laughed. –He cried… When you died he cried and that's why he didn't went to your burial. – Hinata said and her mother laughed too. –Looks like we have a really emotional father and husband. – Said Hinata's mother and both of them laughed. Then they were in front of Karin and Tsunade who were sitting in Tsunade's office crying. –I didn't know they were in hospital! – Hinata was surprised. –Now you know. – Her mother smiled and place changed again. Now they were in hospital's waiting room. There were many nurses and doctor's crying. –Why all those peoples are crying? – Asked Hinata. –Well… All of them knew you. Some are from your childhood some are from practice that you had with Orochimaru and some are from your ANBU job… They all knew you and have something that makes them cry for you. – Hinata's mother sadly smiled and Hinata sighed.
*I told to myself never let anyone like you… Make them all hate you.. That's why I told it to myself… I never wanted to see people cry for me…* Thought Hinata and saw Uzuki, Iruka, Kakashi, Gaara, Lee, Temari, and Shikamaru and all of them were crying… -Hinata you didn't… - Her mother started but Hinata cut her off. –Don't… Just keep quiet… Let me tell you… Half of these peoples hardly know me. If they remember my name, it doesn't mean they should cry! – Hinata said angrily. –No… You have done something good for these people. – Her mother walked towards Uzuki. –You saved Uzuki from death and then joined ANBU which really helped her. All those raptures between you two were because Uzuki was scared to lose you. – Hinata walked towards Uzuki. –I never thought about it that way… - Said Hinata and smiled.
-Iruka and Kakashi would never start to date each other if not you! You bought Iruka to ANBU department and introduced them! You showed them each other and love that was between them! Gaara and Lee would never got so close if not that bicker because of you and Gaara's talk with you! Temari and Shikamaru wouldn't have been able to show their love to everyone if not you and Temari wouldn't have been able to say Yes so fast to Shikamaru if not that talk! Everyone who know you and who knows about your condition are crying! Sakura and Naruto! Ten-Ten and Neji! Hanabi! And more..! If they only knew in what condition you are they would have been here and would be crying like crazy… - Hinata's mother walked towards window. –Even sky is crying! – Said her mother and place changed again.
This time it was men's W.C. –Why are we in men's W.C…? – Confused asked Hinata. –Look. – Said her mother and Hinata turned to window. There were Suigetsu and Juugo. Both of them were crying and talking. –You know Juugo… I have always loved Hinata… No matter what was she doing she always was gorgeous. – Suigetsu said through tears. –Hm… I could see it… But then why did you so suddenly went on Karin? – Asked Juugo. –Well… Didn't you saw how much Hinata loved Sasuke? I could see that she really loved him and I knew that there is no way she will ever love me like that even if I really wanted that. – Suigetsu laughed trough tears. –Yeah… I saw it too… And I loved her too… - Juugo added unwillingly. –I liked both of them… I really like any people… All of those who are out there crying and everyone who I knew… - Said Hinata to mother and she smiled. –I know that darling… I was very similar to you but not that strong… I love Hiashi too… - Said her mother and both of them laughed. –Mother and daughter are the same… And when they are the same they are cursed to never find happiness in life. – Said Hinata and sadly smiled. –No… You have broke that curse and you found your happiness. – Said Hinata's mother and place changed again.
They were in front of Sasuke crying. –He… He is… crying… - Hinata said whispering. –Yes he is… He loves you and he doesn't want to lose you. – Hinata turned to face talker. It was Sasuke's mother. –Mikoto… Mikoto!? – She rushed to hug her. –It's been so long since I saw you last time! – She said and smiled. –Hi Hinata. You are really beautiful! Sasuke is lucky to have a wife like you! – She said smiling. –Stop that! – Hinata said blushing. –Well that's true… - Said Hinata's mother. –It's time to go for me and your mother back to heaven but you have to go back to all those people who are crying and worrying… - Said Mikoto and smiled. –But… I don't know if I want to… - Said Hinata unwillingly. –Hinata… At least go back for Sasuke. He loves you and I know that you love him and will always love him! He is your happiness and you are his happiness! – Mikoto said in a strong voice. –My happiness you say… Even if I go back there will not be you or mother or anyone dear to me except Sasuke! – Hinata still didn't know does she want to go back or not. –But if you will join us, Sasuke will leave everything behind and join you here and all those people will go to your grave every year and cry… I am not happy to see you, Sasuke or anyone else coming to my grave and cry out all tears that you are holding in… No one is happy to see their precious people cry… - Mikoto hugged Hinata. –Now leave… Get up and show all the love you have inside! Show it to Sasuke! – Said Mikoto and let Hinata go.
Hinata opened her eyes in a flash and deeply breathed. She looked around. Nurses and doctors had wet eyes. They all started to smile because they knew that Hinata will not leave them anymore. Hinata looked around to see Sasuke but he was nowhere in sight. She tried to get up on feet but doctor tried to stop her. –Out of my way if you don't want to die! – Said Hinata and deadly looked at him. Everyone stepped aside to let Hinata walk away. She got on her feet and felt sharp pain trough her whole body but she didn't cared. She ignored it and continued to walk. Hinata walked out of ward and turned to side where man's W.C. was. *I know you are there to wash away all your tears…* Thought Hinata and started to walk as fast as possible. Not long after she walked in W.C. and saw Sasuke washing his face.
Hinata tried to find her voice to tell him stop but couldn't. She tried again and again and finally found it. –Stop… Don't… - She said but Sasuke didn't hear her weak voice. Hinata let go door; which she was tightly holding so not to fall; and rushed to Sasuke. Sasuke saw her and straightened up. Hinata wrapped her hands around Sasuke's neck. –Don't… wash… away… tears… that you cried… for me. – She said in his ear and smiled. –Hinata… I… Love you… - Said Sasuke and softly smiled. He cried and Hinata started to cry too. –I love you too and I will always love you no matter what. – Said Hinata. Her voice was better now than before. –I'm so glad… - Said Sasuke and they stood there hugging each other for some time.