A DIFFERENT GENEALOGY

ACT II
~ WHEN TROLLS GROW UP ~

Naruto forced a weak smile on her face at the sight of Fugaku Uchiha. She stood in his walkway, dripping water onto the floor from her outdoor excursion, rubbing her head sheepishly. He gave her a look that suggested a lot of misfortune on her part if she did not come up with a suitable explanation very quickly.

"Err… nice weather were having?" she smiled weakly.

Fugaku continued to frown at her. Hidden around the corner, Sasuke couldn't help but feel pity for the girl. His dad was freaking shit scary when he was mad. He didn't feel enough pity to try and reassure her though. Just because he pitied her at the moment didn't make him stupid.
His dad was seriously not happy.

"And why, pray tell, did you deem it wise to go out in a thunderstorm such as this?" Fugaku asked in an eerily calm voice.

Naruto trembled at the sight of the intimidating figure towering over her. When, oh when would she finally hit a growth spurt? His enraged eyes were calm, and that made them all the more terrifying for the young girl. Tears welled up in her eyes and for the first time since he had met the girl three years ago, Sasuke witnessed Naruto Uzumaki cry.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!!" Naruto sobbed, hugging her minder around the waist (it was as far as she could reach) much to Fugaku's astonishment.

After recovering from the shock, Fugaku sighed and crouched down to her eye level. Sasuke almost had a heart attack, thinking he was about to actually hug the girl; however it was a false alarm. Fugaku bopped the girl on the head lightly. Apparently it was a reprimand since Naruto yelped at the impact.

"You idiot girl, what on earth possessed you to go out in this?" Fugaku gestured towards a window as a thunderclap echoed loudly through the village.

Naruto mumbled something too quiet for Sasuke to hear clearly. The only words he caught were 'photographic' 'don't want to' 'old-geezer' 'piggy' and 'freaking weird'. This was less than helpful; he could not for the life of him think of how these five words could form a cohesive sentence.

He did however catch his fathers eyes widen for one nanosecond with, unless he was sorely mistaken, panic. The expression vanished as quickly as it appeared and Sasuke found himself wondering if he was mistaken. Had the discomforting tone not been present in his father's voice, he would have believed he was.

"You are sure?" he asked.

Naruto nodded and Sasuke couldn't help but be puzzled by the frown on his fathers face. What on earth was he so worried about? Suddenly this didn't seem to be about the weather anymore.

"I see"

Sasuke wished Itachi was home to shed some light on all this; he would have an idea of what was going on. Unfortunately, Itachi had his own mission and wouldn't be back till later that night; Sasuke was left to contemplate these thoughts by himself.

After giving the idiot some clean clothes (Sasuke didn't know why his father had girls clothing in his cupboard, and deemed it prudent not to ask), and bribing her into taking a shower with the promise of ramen, Sasuke found himself accompanying the girl through the now calm streets of Konoha.

The girl had been adamant that she was perfectly capable of walking home herself, and was none the worse for wear, but Fugaku had other ideas. He did not trust the villagers at all, despite tea Third Hokage's law, and would have none of it. After Sasuke butted in claiming girls shouldn't walk around so late alone, she had no choice but to give in. However this was not before punching Sasuke for implying women couldn't look after themselves.

As they walked past the ramen stand, Sasuke couldn't help but wonder what had her so wound up. Even after talking with his father (he was still having a hard time visualising Fugaku Uchiha as an agony aunt) she still looked worried about something. She reacted to the smallest of movements. She nearly impaled a poor bow-adorned cat with a kunai when it knocked over some rubbish bins.

His musings triggered the memory of her conversation with Ino earlier in the day. Was that why she was so on edge? But that didn't make sense, of she was having an easier time remembering things surely it just meant she was getting smarter (well, sort of), shouldn't it be a good thing? Never one to leave curiosity unsatisfied when he could avoid it, he deemed he would get more answers from the blond girl herself.

"Why are you freaking about remembering stuff so much?" he asked, not wanting to beat around the bush.

Naruto stared at him for a few moments, clearly surprised he knew what she had been stressing over.
"It's weird! I'm not even trying to remember things, but I remember them anyway…" she grumbled, refusing to meet his gaze.

He frowned in confusion.
"but isn't it a good thing? You place second in class now"

"That's just it Sasuke!" she yelled in frustration, pulling on her pigtails with much the same emotion.

Sasuke startled a bit at the action. Was the hair-pulling necessary? What if she pulled it out? Weren't girls supposed to obsess over their hair?
Wait, this was Naruto; she was a girl in genetic make-up only.

"I don't even understand any of it! I just know the answers for the questions Dolphin and Bandage-Face give us, even if I don't want to! And I can't forget anything! It's like it's permanently branded into my skull! I'm weird enough already, I don't need this on top of everything else!" she all but yelled, still pulling on the pigtails.

If Sasuke didn't know better, he'd say she was prematurely developing the Sharingan. He remembered Itachi being on the verge of gouging his eyes out when he went through the process. Sometimes it developed on its own, instead of during a traumatic experience like it usually did. That was what happened with Itachi, and if he remembered rightly he'd been a bit freaked out with the perfect-memory thing till their father had sat him down and explained it.

He'd been given the same explanation himself, though he had yet to actually activate his family's bloodline. He remembered being on the verge of gouging his eyes out when he went through the process; but only after walking in on his father in the shower, something that had scarred him for life

But Sasuke did know better, if Naruto was developing the bloodline she wouldn't be an Uzumaki. If anyone married into the clan, they took the family name. And if not married, any children produced by a couple would receive the Uchiha name; it was a law of the village for certain bloodlines. Whoever her father had been, it wasn't an Uchiha or she'd be in the clan. He'd seen her mother's grave and she was an Uzumaki, so Naruto developing the Sharingan was impossible.

After trying to think of some other explanation, he couldn't blame her for freaking out. If it was him, he'd bee losing it a bit himself. After listening to her explanation of how the process worked, he debated asking if she wasn't distantly related to his own clan; some of the side effects could be found in very distant relatives.

The way she was alerted when there had been a sound, for example, was similar to how Itachi had explained the breakdown and memorisation of ninja techniques with the Sharingan. This was much more than an average photographic memory.

Considering her lack of people to confide in she had all the reason in the world to have some sort of breakdown. Or as she was currently doing: waving her arms, pulling her pigtails, yelling and trying to vent in general.

"Maybe you should just go with it" he suggested, breaking her out of another rant of some un-wanted memory (Something about a drunken man trying to dance at Ichiraku's).

She gave him a 'are you on some sort of medication that makes your head funny?' look.

"It's not really doing you any harm is it? You don't have to worry about studying as much; you just need to get to the point where you understand what your'e remembering. If something goes wrong and you go into a coma or something, then you can worry. It might no be permanent, so you should take advantage of it while you can."

They had, by now, arrived outside the small apartment where Naruto lived. Sasuke didn't know why she lived on her own; his father had offered her a place in the compound more than once, but she was stubborn. He suspected it had to do with the sentimental value of the place. From what he knew, the apartment had been her father. She didn't know his name, never mind having seen a picture. She had plenty of her mother, but she had nothing of her father but this old apartment.

She stared stunned by his speech for a few moments.

"Oh my god, you can talk after all!" she gawped.

He frowned at her and she broke into gales of laughter. He waited for her to finish irritably. After claming down she focused on the arduous process of opening her door. The hinges were dodgy, and the door itself was a bit of a tight fit in the frame.

After vanquishing the fearsome door, she gave him another long stare. He was about to ask her what she was staring at when quick as a flash he felt a pair of soft lips on his cheek, followed by the sound of the door slamming and an embarrassed cry of:

"Thanks Sasuke!"

Sasuke stood staring at the door that had been slammed in his face, slightly confused as to what had just occurred. He replayed the whole scenario in his head, before flushing a bright cherry colour.

'S-She kissed me! The least girl-like girl in existence! I didn't think she even knew how!'

Sasuke idly noted the kiss didn't really bother him as much as it normally would have. Sakura had tried to do the same thing once, and Naruto and Ino had to hold him back before he actually hit her. That was just for the mere attempt. Why wasn't this bothering him? It didn't make any sense at all.

Upon arriving back at his own house, he had slumped on the sofa, staring into nothingness as he tried to come to some sort of logical reason as to why Naruto's show of affection did not make him want to kill something with lots of kunai. He'd even caught the attentions of his father with his strange actions.

"Did something happen I should be worried about?" he asked.

Sasuke knew this was about as close to concern as his father would let show. Was he really acting that odd? Was that why Naruto kissed him? Was she trying to cheer him up? No, she knew that would have been the last thing that would have cheered him up. So why wasn't he mad at her?

"Sasuke? Did you hear me?"

Sasuke jerked back to reality at the sound of his father's voice.
"Huh?"
"Did you not hear my question?"
"What? No, why?"

"I asked if something happened I should be worried about" his father repeated the question.
"When?" Sasuke asked, still a bit confused.

Why was his father so talkative all of a sudden? He was only this talkative with Naruto.
"On the way to Naruto's apartment" his father clarified.

Sasuke suddenly remembered the feel of Naruto lips on his cheek.
"You have been acting like a creature of non-intelligence since you came home, I though it strange"

Sasuke could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. Why was he remembering that now?!
He couldn't let his father see him blushing like a girl!

"N-No! Nothing at all!" he objected hastily.

Sensing his mistake, he clamed down as much as possible and mad an excuse about needing sleep, before walking from the room as quickly as possible. He closed the door behind him and flopped down onto the bed, not without stubbing his toe on something in the darkness first.

"Argh! I don't get it! What the hell did she have to go and do that for? Stupid blonde!" he yelled into the unusually less-plump pillow, beating it once with his fists. It felt good to vent frustration, so he thumped the pillow some more.

Stupid. Thump. Blonde. Thump. Stupid. Thump. Naruto.

"Sasuke? What are you doing to my pillow? More to the point, why are you in my room?"

Sasuke yelped, rolling off the bed to avoid any possible kunai-hurling. As he rolled of the bed, his head made contact with something hard and made of wood that wasn't supposed to be next to be next to his bed. He hissed in pain, feeling something trickling down his head past his nose.

He tried standing up, but saw stars and decided standing wasn't a good idea. His head really hurt, and there was something sticky in his hair that smelled weird. What was he doing again? There was a rustle of clothing and the lights flicked on.

"Sasuke, you're bleeding. You need to get father to check you over" Itachi said, pulling him to his feet.
"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked gripping his brother's arm.

His head felt very fuzzy, and hurt. Why was Itachi here? He took a tentative step forward. He felt woozy.
"Sasuke, this is my room"

"What? It can't be…" Sasuke looked around carefully, trying to avoid the dizziness.

No wonder he hit his head, Itachi had that cabinet by his bed. His was on the other side. Wait, why was in Itachi's room? That made no sense; he was supposed to be in his room, not Itachi's.

"Why am I in your room?" Sasuke asked, vaguely aware of being direct towards the sitting room once again.
"How should I know? Sit down while I go find father" Sasuke sat on the sofa obediently, trying to figure out why he had been in Itachi's room.

Had he been so frazzled that he'd walked into Itachi's room instead of his own? Apparently, but why was he so frazzled anyway?!

Footsteps told him Itachi had returned with their father.

Fugaku gave him an exasperated look.

"First Naruto decides to go out in the worst thunderstorm in eleven years, now you decide to bash your skull open?" Itachi raised an eyebrow and Fugaku waved his hand in an 'I'll tell you later' gesture. He sat down on the sofa beside him and his hand glowed green with one of his old medical techniques. He led his hand to the wound and frowned.

"If you'd hit your head any harder, you'd have a cracked skull. What on earth were you doing?" he asked wearily.
"I was… startled. I rolled of the bed in case someone was attacking and hit my head on Itachi's cabinet" Sasuke replied as his father knit the skin on his head back together with chakra.

"Why were you in my room?" Sasuke didn't answer. He had not plausible excuse, and he sure as hell wasn't going to tell them the truth. He'd never live it down if they found out. Fugaku glared at him, having finished healing his head, and Sasuke fidgeted awkwardly.

"Sasuke" Fugaku warned.

Sasuke decided he could just explain without actually mentioning anything too embarrassing. He just had to be careful with his wording.

"I was thinking about something, so I wasn't really concentrating. Itachi popped up out of nowhere and…" he left it hanging.

Itachi shook his head, clearly trying to hide his amusement.
Fugaku gave his son an analytical gaze before grumbling something to himself.

"What did she do now?" he asked, actual resignation appearing in his face.

Sasuke gave him a look of confusion.

"Naruto, what did she do? I know this is her fault, that girl causes problems without even being in the room. You've been acting strange since you came home, it's only logical this is her fault somehow. What did she do?" he asked, in a tone that seemed to beg nothing that had caused destruction.

Sasuke's flushed face was enough to answer his question.

"Oh shit…" Fugaku rubbed his temples before glaring at Itachi.

"You. Why didn't you go through this? This would be so much easier if I you had, I'd have previous experience for reference"
"What? I don't understand, what are you talking about father?" Itachi asked, genuinely stumped.

Fugaku gave him a look of exasperation before gesturing to Sasuke with one hand.

"This! Girls! Puberty! You never did that! You just grew…" he glanced his eldest up and down tut-ing.

"With you I just had to point out the facts and leave it at that. If you weren't so asexual I wouldn't be having this problem…" he glanced towards his youngest.
"I'm not asexual! I'm just picky!" Itachi said defensively.

"What do girls have to with puber-whatsit?" Sasuke asked.

"Great now I have to give him the Talk..." Fugaku grumbled, stomping down the hall to his office, still grumbling.

"...Bad enough with Itachi, I could bribe Iruka butThat means Naruto'll be sent back to the girl's class for a while. If this get's out she'll be hell on earth…"

Itachi ignored his father, still offended by the asexual remark.
Sasuke was still relatively confused.

"The Talk? What Talk?"

Naruto refused to answer Ino's questions as they entered the classroom. Ino twitched, but catching sight of that teacher from the upper year classes, she decided against saying something. He had a worse temper than she or Naruto did, it wasn't worth the risk. She vowed to find out what was bothering her fellow blonde by the end of the day however.

They took their seats, Ino seated between Shikamaru and Choji. As Naruto slid in next to Sasuke, Ino noticed the blonde's light blush. She took a look at Sasuke to find him flaming like a tomato. She had missed something! She knew she had! Sasuke had been acting out of it all week, and Naruto was not blushing for any reason. She made a mental note to interrogate Naruto later; Plaster-Face had entered the classroom.

"Alright, there's been a change of plans today, so we won't be covering chakra types until the afternoon. Instead of that in the morning, you'll be given a presentation in your separate classes. Girls, go to Hana in room twelve. Boys, you're with me and Kotetsu, and Iruka in room 15. Go"

There was the sound of feet moving down the aisle and towards the doorway, grumbling voices, and questions on what they may be doing. Naruto was about to part ways with Ino as she normally would for these classes, when she was stopped by Plaster-Face.

"Naruto, you'll be going with the girls this time"
"What? Why? I'm in the boy's class! I don't do that stupid flower stuff!"
"I'm sorry Naruto, but this is a bit different. You have to go with the girls"
"But-"
"I'm sorry Naruto, but you have to go"

Naruto growled several uncomplimentary words under her breath as she turned in the direction of room 15, hurrying to catch up with Ino. Ino almost had a heart attack when she popped up beside her. Naruto explained things as best she could, which wasn't really that well since Izumo hadn't told her much. She sat down with Ino, stating that she would bring pain and misfortune upon Izumo if she had to faff around with daffodils, or worse: tea ceremony.

Hana entered the room with a TV. on a rolling table. There was excitement; they didn't often get to watch videos. Technology wasn't used much amongst ninjas. They had more reliable methods, though they were slightly more cumbersome.

"Alright, I'm not going to bother telling you what this is about. Just watch the video and you'll get it. Any questions can wait till the end, and no Naruto, it's nothing to do with flower arrangement or tea ceremony."

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. Dog-Lady wouldn't lie. She hated the stuff as much as she did, and she was stuck teaching the stuff.
Poor Dog-Lady.

Hana pushed the video into the slot on the Video Player, and a bright pink screen flashed onto the screen. The speakers were blaring some sort of sickening, syrupy, supposedly cheery music as bold lettering in fancy script flashed on the screen: 'You and Your Body'

Naruto wondered if it was too late to run out of the room when the sugar-coated voice over blasted throughout the room. The video could handle, she already knew this stuff; The Old-Geezer had got Ayame to tell her after he caught her riffling through his porn collection a year or so ago. Yes, the video she could care less about, but if she had to put up with this freaky Belinda lady throughout the video…

She shivered.

Sasuke cringed as Izumo accidentally ripped the condom they were supposed to be placing over a plastic dummy. Iruka wasn't doing much better, he couldn't explain anything without turning beet-red, and spent half his time trying to keep Izumo and Kotetsu in line.

The video hadn't been very informative, in fact it was downright useless, but he sincerely doubted the condom was supposed to rip like that. It sort of defeated the point of the whole thing. Even worse, now that he knew what his father had been freaking out over last week, he had images of the other stuff popping up in his head. Involving his blonde bench mate.

He didn't even mean to think about it, Naruto just appeared in his head! Was this puberty? He already hated it, and if that dodgy video was anything to go by, he hadn't even started it yet! It sounded horrible!

How come Itachi got to skip this? His father was right; he had just randomly gone from Twelve-Year-Old-Itachi to Sixteen-Year-Old-Itachi overnight.
Stupid Itachi.

"I can't believe you ripped it! Boys, that's what you're not supposed to do ok?""Shut up! You were the one who said to roll down faster!"
"Because you took too long Izumo! I hope you don't take this long in real-life cause if so then-"
"Are you trying to imply something?!"
"Kotetsu, Izumo calm dow- Naruto?!"

Sasuke jerked his head to the doorway and internally cringed. He had noticed earlier that she had had a wardrobe change but had paid no heed, but now…
Of all the days for Naruto to change her wardrobe!
Stupid, stupid blonde!

She was wearing slightly poofy trousers that ended just above her knee with an orange belt. Along with a pair of ninja boots that ended mid thigh instead of her usual sandals, she had wrapped grey bandages around her upper torso. Over the top, an orange jacket, and her gloves on her hands.

He didn't want to admit he was staring at her wrappings, but he was. After that video, it was impossible not to. Not that there was anything there, but he and his classmates had been introduced the idea of hormones. Sasuke was quickly learning what a formidable force hormones could be.

She walked into the room and stared at the contraption on the desk, then at Kotetsu and Izumo.
She gave them a withering look.

"Y'know, that's not have you're supposed to put a condom on..."

They stared at her. Sasuke just knew she was going to do something, he knew it. This was just like the first time she entered the class when she was six years old. Kotetsu had that same freaked-out look on his face as he'd had when he'd finished talking to the Hokage.

He was not surprised.

Naruto plucked one of the condom wrappers of the pile they were presumably to use for practice. She opened the packet, pulled out the rubber contraption, and pulled the ripped one off the plastic model. She stared at the brown lump of plastic and snorted.

"That looks more like a turd than a penis" she stated, clearly not impressed.

Ignoring the looks of horror from the tutors, she took the new condom and in one quick motion had it in place of the old one, distinctly un-ripped. She turned to Kotetsu and Izumo.

"That is how you put on a condom" she informed them before turning to Iruka, seemingly oblivious to their shock.

"Oi, Dolphin, can I sit in here and study? I already know this stuff, and that lady on the girls' video makes me want to kill something. That woman sounds like a strangled cat that got high on something. It's traumatic"

Sasuke was tempted to tell her she had likely traumatised Iruka Kotetsu and Izumo without even thinking about it. But this was far too amusing, besides if Naruto stayed, he could ogle some more. He'd given up on fighting this new-found curiosity; it was pointless when his thoughts were going to drift that way every three seconds anyway.

"I don't know if that such a good idea Naruto, the boys aren't done yet so-"
"Pleaaase Iruka-Sensei? I don't want to go back to that stupid video! That lady sounds like a doped up cat with a bad voice box!"

Sasuke didn't bother to suppress his tiny snort.
This was hilarious! Iruka's face was priceless! The guy was positively scandalized!

"I really don't think so… I mean…" Iruka fumbled for the correct and proper wording.
"If you're worried about the boys ogling me I don't care, threes nothing to ogle. Besides, it's a compliment! In a weird obscure way…"

Kiba burst out laughing almost immediately after she had finished speaking. He was soon joined by Choji and even Shikamaru. Sasuke allowed himself to laugh a small amount himself. Iruka seemed like he was going to object, but Naruto ignored him and trotted up to her seat next to Sasuke. She plopped down into her seat, oblivious to the boy next to her furiously trying not to blush.

During break, she disappeared for a few minuets before returning with a small pink hardback. Sasuke felt alarms ringing in his head, but he was far too curious to care. She gestured to the boys to gather round and there was a small formed around the desk they shared.

"What's that?" Kiba asked, gesturing to the book.
"This, boys, is porn"

"Porn?" Choji looked confused.
He'd heard his dad and uncle using the word but he didn't actually know what it was.

"Basically, someone was perverted enough to write about people having sex." she stated boredley, as if she didn't find the book all that impressive. "There are pictures too; it's seriously weird sometimes though. There's something to do with whipped cream, its odd. If you're having sex, why'd you need cream or food or- Choji? Hey, Choji! Wake up!"

"Just leave him, he'll wake up when he gets hungry again" Shikamaru said lazily.
He wanted to read that book, for the sake of curiosity.

"Hurry up and open it Naruto! I wanna see!" Kiba egged on eagerly.
"Fine, but this one isn't all that good. The stuff in the Old-Geezers desk drawer is way better" she said, as if warning them they were about to be disappointed.

A year later, and graduation day had finally arrived. Naruto was just as rambunctious, Sasuke was just as quiet and Ino equally loud-mouthed. Naruto had finally come to terms with her unusual memory process, and used it to her advantage just as Sasuke had suggested. After memorizing the information from their textbooks, she re-read it until she understood what she was being told.

She worked on the more active side of her studies with Sasuke and Ino, and they were normally found in the top three rankings after tests, Naruto and Ino switching back and forth between second and third place; on one occasion however, Naruto managed to snatch first from Sasuke, much to his consternation

The day of the graduation exam had gone well; she had been able to exert enough control over her chakra to create the three clones required (thanks to Ino drilling the control into her). However, one of the other teachers who seemed to dislike her had forced Iruka to fail her on a technicality.

Mizuki had given her a different option, and she had taken it gladly. After stealing the forbidden scroll she had mastered the Shadow Clone technique with the hopes of graduating with her two friends. Then everything had gone pear shaped when Mizuki told her of the demon that had taken up residence in her gut, and Dolphin had gotten himself stabbed in the back by a giant shuriken.

Thankfully, things had ended with Mizuki's arrest, and the Old Geezer had given her a proper explanation, instead of Mizuki's blatant yelling and curse riddled one. Having come to terms with this new burden, she had been given her headband, and been sent home to get some rest before graduation. Mr. F (a recent upgrade from Perma-Frown) had given her a visit, presumably having been informed of her adventures by the Old Geezer, and left her with a bowl of dodgy-smelling leftover stew.

After sampling the stew, she decided once and for all that Sasuke was right; No-one in his family could cook anything that could be considered food. Naruto found this slightly pathetic considering their abilities as ninjas, but she couldn't really talk. She couldn't make a decent meal unless it involved a microwave or boiling water either.

So despite that unplanned event, Naruto found herself sitting in her usual seat between Ino and Sasuke. Dolphin was almost finished reading out the list of Genin cells, but she was still waiting for her name to be called out. She sincerely hoped she wouldn't be put on a team with Sakura. She didn't find the girl to be mean or anything, but she was a bit Sasuke-Crazy. Naruto's close relationship with Sasuke was something the pink haired girl was particularly pleased with.

In short, she just gave her a headache.

"Team 10, consisting of Choji Akimichi, Sakura Haruno, and Shikamaru Nara, will be lead by Asuma Sarutobi." a few jaws dropped at this unexpected set-up.

Naruto was glad she was not placed with the pink-haired girl, though she did pity Choji and Shikamaru. It was strange though, she had expected Ino to be placed with them, reincarnating their father's squad.

Dolphin read out the names of a few more teams, and Naruto's eyes widened in realization by the time her reached the end of the list. She felt Sasuke stiffen in the seat on her left as he too caught on.

"This leaves Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, and Ino Yamanaka in Team 7, under Kakashi Hatake" Iruka had barley finished reading out the list of teams before he was bombarded with questions from the new Genin candidates.

"Whaaat! How come Sasuke has Naruto on his team?!" one boy yelled indignantly.

Despite her brazen attitude and non-girl-like qualities, Naruto had somehow gathered a few fans. It was not very many, perhaps five or six out of the two classes, but they were there. Naruto was oblivious to their presence, something Sasuke seemed to find vexing.

"Oi Dolphin! I though I was going to be placed with Choji and Shikamaru!" Ino said, clearly confused with her placement.

Iruka sighed.
He had expected this, but he was afraid he dint have very many answers for them.

"I don't make up the teams, if you have any complaints you'll have to talk to the Jonin commander. He's the one who makes up the teams based on your reports." Iruka informed the boy, who grumbled several derogatory comments to himself.

"As for you Ino" Iruka turned his attention to the stunned blonde girl "I was told to inform you you'll still receive private training with Shikamaru and Choji, but the Hokage wanted to try a different cell set up to the usual two-boys-one-girl cells."

He smiled at the three students, noting the equal looks of surprise on the faces of Sasuke and Naruto.
"If you three get along well together, we may start using this kind of cell set-up for other teams" he explained.

"So were guinea-pigs?" Naruto asked, clearly offended by the idea.

Iruka silently prayed she wouldn't make too big of a fuss about the situation. He understood her dislike of being used as a test-subject, especially after the previous night's events, but this was for the good of the village in the long run - if it worked out at any rate.

"Well no, but…" Iruka searched for the words he needed to explain, but he couldn't seem to find them.

Thankfully Naruto seemed to understand and dropped the subject. Iruka was about to dismiss them for their lunch, when another voice spoke up; Sakura's voice.

"How come Naruto and Ino get to go with Sasuke?!" she demanded.
Several other girls voiced their own agreements, though not quite as loudly as Sakura. Iruka rubbed his temples in frustration.

"Since this is a trial team formation, the Hokage wanted our best students on the team to maximise efficiency Sakura. Naruto has exactly the same scores as Sasuke, and Ino is a very close second, therefore they were chosen for the team."

"What?! But my scores in the test were higher than Ino's were!" Sakura objected.
Iruka reminded himself that she was a child, and hitting her would count as abuse whether she was trained as a ninja or not.

"True, you did score better than Ino on the theory, but your overall physical skills are taken into account for the final grade, and yours were none too impressive Sakura" Iruka informed her in a tone which told the class he was no longer willing to answer any of their questions for the time being. Sakura huffed petulantly, but remained silent through Iruka's lecture on what it meant to be a Konoha ninja.

Naruto also remained silent, but as soon as Iruka dismissed them for their lunch she glomped Sasuke (who, if you looked closely, blushed), and then Ino. She even squealed. This scared Sasuke somewhat; in all the years he had known her, squealing was not something he would normally associate with her. He associated squealing with 'normal girls'. Naruto was distinctly not a normal girl.

It had taken him half a year to come to terms with the strange affecting for the 'non-girl' as he referred to her as inside his head, and he was used to her un-normal-ness. It was strange to see her doing something as normal as squealing along with Ino as she did. He breathed a sigh of relief when they stopped to drag him out side to eat their (Read: Ino's) lunch.

After three hours of waiting, not including their lunch hour, Naruto Sasuke and Ino found themselves sitting on the roof with a masked, grey-haired man.

"Are you sure you should be a Jonin at your age?" Naruto asked, noting the gray hair.
Ino, seated on her left, nodded vehemently. Sasuke gave him an enquiring look.

"I'm twenty-six you little trolls" he informed them.

They stared at him for several moments before he was suddenly attacked by the darker blonde.
She was furiously grabbing at his orange book.
His eye widened in confusion.

"Is that Icha Icha? Can I read it? Pleeaaase lemme read it Scarecrow!" she begged, aiming another swipe at the small orange hardback.

Kakashi avoided it easily, though he still looked very confused. Even Anko glared at the book, and this small female child was practically fighting him for ownership. A look at the other two trolls showed the other blonde on the ground in hysterics, and the Uchiha boy seeming unsurprised.

"Err… maybe later" he said to the smallest of the trolls, effectively pacifying her for now.

"Why don't you introduce yourselves?"
"We already know each other" Sasuke stated.

Kakashi twitched.

"You may, but I don't"
"Sure you do, the Old Geezer'll have given you our files with our status and capabilities on them" Naruto informed him.

Kakashi fought down the urge to growl at the girl.
She was still giving his book a manic-look.

"I tell you what, I'll go first, and then you copy me. Ok?" they nodded, and Kakashi replaced his book in his shuriken pouch.

"My name is Kakashi Hatake, I like lots of things, I have some dislikes, and my dreams are none of your business. Uchiha-brat, you can go first."

Sasuke bristled at the Uchiha-brat comment, but soon turned it into an evil looking smirk.

"My name is Kakashi Hatake, I like lots of things, I have some dislikes, and my dreams are none of your business. Uchiha-brat, you can go first." He repeated.

Ino and Naruto collapsed into gales of laughter, and Sasuke gave Kakashi and evil grin.
"That's not what I meant you little brat!"

"But you said to copy you Sensei! Sasuke just did what you said to do" Ino countered, grinning like a cat that caught a mouse and found the cream.

Kakashi's visible eye was beginning to develop a permanent tick. Why did he agree to take a team this year?
Oh yes, the perverted girl was his Mentor's daughter.
Tch. Stupid emotional involvement; that meant he'd have to put up with their manic-psycho-ness.

"I meant do the same thing, but change it to suit yourselves, now why don't we try that again Mr Broody?" he spoke through gritted teeth to Sasuke.

The paler blonde cackled. Sasuke smirked and took up where he left off.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha, I like training and tomatoes with sugar-" he gave Naruto a pointed look, and she stuck her tongue out in retaliation. "- And err, some other stuff-" his eyes flicked back to Naruto and an almost invisible blush flashed across his cheeks for a brief moment.

"-I hate my dad and my brother's attempts at cooking, my own cooking, the crazy girls who stalk me, and when Naruto and Ino get their time of the month. Theyre shit scar- Ow!" Naruto crashed her fist down onto his skull, and Ino gave him one of her feared elbow-to-stomach manoeuvres.

"…my dream is, err, to be a good ninja like my brother I guess." he spoke after recovering form the joint-attack, his gaze flickered to Naruto again, but the girl didn't seem to notice. The other blonde harpy did however, and her eyes flashed with some sort of emotion that made the Jonin nervous for some reason.

"Witchy, you're up" Kakashi smiled through at his mask at Ino. Ino glared at him, and Kakashi wondered if it was a good idea to irritate a girl who could invade his consciousness with a few hand signs.

"I'm Ino Yamanaka. I like gardening, training, meddling, and irritating people, well one in particular, but that aint your beeswax scarecrow."

Kakashi could have sworn Sasuke let out a pained whimper, but that was impossible. Brooders like him did not whimper.
It made them look more human and less broody; thus, he could not have whimpered.

"I dislike… Err… slugs, my dad's, Naruto's, and Sasuke's cooking, and stupid people" she flashed a concerned glance in Naruto's direction.

Kakashi took this to mean she was referring to the villagers unfounded hatred of the girl (he knew the other two were yet to learn about the fox), not the blonde herself, since they were the three top ranked student from this year's batch of 'fresh meat'.

"My aims are to be the first female head of the interrogation department, be a good clan leader, and another thing that's none of your beeswax."

Sasuke seemed to whimper again, and Kakashi began to wonder if he was hearing things.

"And… Whiskers" Kakashi nodded somewhat warily towards Naruto.

"Naruto Uzumaki! I like ramen, training, gardening, Salty Tomatoes -"she glared at Sasuke pointedly.
Sasuke ignored her.

"-and Icha Icha when I can get my hands on it. I dislike perverts who peek in women in the hot springs and stuff, reading is one thing; stalking is different. I dislike Mr. F's, Man-Lady's, Duck-Butt's and Psychic's cooking, along with my own. My goal is to be Hokage!"

Kakashi hoped his team would fail his test; he could already imagine the constant headache they would give him. Unfortunately he had a sickening feeling they would pass with flying colours. Eventually at any rate.

I've been getting into TeniPuri again this week and i remembered that it was a FujiRyo oneshot that first exposed me to Yaoi. I remember screming in horror, and almost blasting my computer to smithereens.

Now I'd do the same thing, but only because Kirihara is so obviously Fuji's bitch. Ryouma belongs to Tezuka, Atobe, and occasionally (because I'm probably Hetro and have a weird obsession with 'happy family' stories) Sakuno. But I really prefer Atobe...

It makes me feel nostalgic. Nostalgia makes me feel old...
Which completley sucks! I'm not even in my twenties yet!

I have no idea how this ties in with the story but please rate and review!
Your comments are very much appreciated!

Nat
xxx