Sephiroth VS. Seymour - The MourRoth Chronicles.

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- Dramatis Personae -

Character 01 = Sephiroth

Character 02 = Seymour

Character 03 = Tifa

Character 04 = Cloud

Character 05 = Barret

Character 06 = Yuffie

Character 07 = Reno

Character 08 = Elena

Character 09 = Yuffie's father

Character 10 = Cait Sith

Character 11 = Tseng

(and so forth.)

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02 (Seymour): Hey, Yo, I'm SEYMOUR!

01 (Sephiroth): Seen it already...Look, I told you what I want, and I want it now.

04 (Cloud): (puts hand to his temple, and rubs in a perplexed manner) I should've known he likes fags...

06 (Yuffie): NOOOO! HE PROMISED TO MARRY...

03 (Tifa) : ME! Look, I clean, I cook, I do EVERYTHING a woman is supposed to do! And, who do I get stuck with...

05 (Barret): I quit those Cuban cigars years ago. They actually STARTED growing marijuana.

07 (Reno): Oh, what a marry-hay service. They promised me women...

04 (Cloud): No, you were stuck in Iraq.

07 (Reno): Hey, I RAN a long time ago. Hand me that cigar...

01 (Sephiroth): Didn't I tell you, we ran out of those a long time...

08 (Elena): (cuts off the remark) AGO?! Look, I thought we were growing opium!

09 (Yuffie's father): (in stereotypical non-English accent) No, they didn't like us vewwy much. Something abaout a great damn...in hyna...

06 (Yuffie): GREAT WALL! Sheesh, and they thought -I- was illiterate.

01 (Sephiroth): Learn Chinese.

04 (Cloud) + 03 (Tifa ): (Simultaneously): SHE'S NOT CHINESE!

06 (Yuffie): I should've known...I was raised in America.

07: Look, I don't want to be Rude, but...

03 (Tifa): No, he's asleep. I checked...

07 (Reno): (raises eye-brow) And, I thought Aeris was a drug-dealer.

(Some bouncing doll and bouncing cat doll bounces in.)

10 (Cait Sith): HEY! I'm back, anything I missed? I was in Reno...

(The others, especially Reno, stop in momentary silence...)

02 (Seymour): Yeah. Been there, done that.

(Some stereotypical suited guy comes in).

11 (Tseng) : Hey, I'm back! Good ole' Tseng! Anything I missed? You must of been sad when I died!

04 (Cloud): Yeah. Been there, done that.