Title: Aroma
Length: 3.1/3
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, yaoi, angst
Pairings: Takuya/Teruki, Teruki/OC, Takuya/???, Kanon/Bou (mention), Kanon/Takuya (one-sided)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but this storyline and my love of the lyrics
Summary: How soon is too soon to move on? How long is too long to wait? How does one recover from a broken heart? For Takuya, it was more than a makeover for a photoshoot.
Chapter 3 (1)- On Sleepless Nights, I Would Wait For Your Mail the Whole Time
I think I was asleep... I don't know, I can't remember. It's been 3 hours and I've just been lying on my bed... Well, the clock says it's been three hours, but it doesn't feel like it. It feels like 15 minutes. And that same stupid conversation keeps playing in my head...
What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? What the hell? My mind is so frantic, I feel my brain heating up from how fast my thoughts are coming... I think my head's going to explode... Or maybe that's my heart. Yeah, maybe it's my heart. That's racing pretty quickly, too. But it was just a kiss, on the cheek no less. So why am I freaking out over this so much? Probably because guys don't usually thank other guys like that... Well, I would, and come to think of it, Takuya probably would too. ...What do I mean "probably"? He just did! Man, what the hell????
Let's just say that I'm more than ready for the shoot to be over, especially by the time Takuya's done with his solo shoot. It was... enticing, to say the least, but this is the wrong place to be enticed by anything, let alone "Teruki's ex," not that he should care, but from the death stare he gave me, he clearly does. When Takuya's done, he goes into the bathroom. Five minutes pass before I figure out that something is wrong, just as Miku is getting his turn in front of the camera. But as I'm walking over to the bathroom door, Yuuki pops up out of nowhere and cuts off my path. From under his sunglasses, I can tell he looks anxious.
"Kanon! What was that whole thing with you and Takuya?"
I look at him, scrutinizing. "You were there, right? You know what happened."
He huffs. "Yes, I know what happened, but that's not what I meant! I mean, why did he do that? What did you say to him?"
I hold my scrutinizing look. Yuuki's never been one to butt into other people's personal business before... "I didn't say... I was just comforting him, he's still upset, you know. But, I mean, I don't think I said anything that would make him do that. And he's been acting weird all day anyway!"
Yuuki sighs again, but this time, he sounds stressed more than annoyed. "Kanon... I don't think you understand. Teruki... Teruki's pissed, and I mean really pissed."
I nod. I figure that much already. "Did you talk to him?"
"More like he talked to me, well, ranted, actually. He thinks Takuya did it to make him jealous, because Ichiro came walking through the door, and a second later, Takuya kissed you."
"Ichiro? You mean Teruki's boyfriend?" Well, this is news to me.
"Yeah. You didn't know that?"
Of course not, I was too stupefied to know anything other than 'Takuya kissed me'. "No... You really think that'd be the reason why Takuya did that?" I feel hurt. I know that Takuya is still hung up on Teruki, so the kiss confused me, but to know that he used me... Is Takuya really that spiteful?
"I don't know, but it makes sense. Teruki's so mad he had to send Ichiro away, he didn't want him to see him with the mood he's in. But that's just about as long as his fake calm lasted. Then he... blew up. Pheeew!" Yuuki makes a sound effect of Teruki's 'blow-up', and hand motions to match. I look beyond Yuuki to the bathroom door. "Is... that why Takuya's in there?"
"No, I've been with Teruki the whole time. I just left now because I saw that Takuya wasn't around, so I could tell you all this. ...Are you okay, Kanon?"
Am I okay? I'm not, but I thought I was hiding my not-okay-ness. Guess not. I feel like a fool, and maybe it's Teruki's jealous logic getting to me, but maybe Yuuki's right. What else could it be? Why else would Takuya do this? I nod slowly to Yuuki. "Yeah, I'll live." I walk back to my chair set up by the photoshoot, walking away from the bathroom, wondering why I was heading over there in the first place.
At first I was wondering why Takuya kissed me. Now I'm still wondering that, but my heart's not racing anymore. Now, it just hurts.
"Fuck..." I can't stand lying around like this, no matter how long I've been doing it. I feel suffocated in here, but I'm not in the mood to get out of the house. So, I just go out to the kitchen... strangest thing though, I feel like I'm lifting three times my body weight as I push myself off the bed. Maybe it's that cliche saying of 'the weight of the world,' but I wouldn't argue that that weight sounds just about right right now.
I just stand in the middle of the kitchen for a few seconds, not knowing what to do with myself. I'm not hungry, and I doubt I could eat anything anyway. So I sit down at the table, propping my arms up to support my heavy head. I know I'm supposed to do something right now... what was that again?
"Okay! Very good job you guys! Thank you!" The staff and band members alike are shouting back 'thank yous' as everyone starts to depart. I look over and see Takuya practically run out the door, and Teruki and Yuuki exit from the back door. I take the top hat of my AROMA costume off and run a hand through my hair, looking over and seeing Miku being the only bandmate left, as he's taking off his jacket. I feel dazed, my body's not acting on its own, and apparently, I don't want to go home just yet. So instead, I walk over to Miku. "Hey."
"Hey," he replies back, not looking up as he unties his shoes. I sit down on the ground next to him and start to do the same. "So... I guess it's a good thing that the photographer didn't ask for a group shot, huh?" I say, trying to strike up a conversation in this awkwardness.
"That's how it was set up from the start." I look up at Miku, surprised. "You set that up?" Miku nods, finally making eye contact with me. "I did it so no one would fight. But it still didn't work..." I notice a crack in his voice. "Miku..." But before I get to ask what's wrong, he abruptly stands up.
"I can't take this, Kanon! I don't want this happening again! Everything's falling apart and there's nothing I can do about it." Tears have welled up in Miku's eyes, threatening to fall at any second. "We made it clear, didn't we? I thought we did. Band members shouldn't date each other after what happened with you and-"
"You know that had nothing to do with him leaving!" I yell defensive, glaring. Amazing how this topic was just brought up a couple of hours ago, when I'm sure I haven't said anything about it for months now. "We broke it off because he was leaving, not the other way around."
"But still, Kanon!" Our vocalist is having a hard time keeping his voice from breaking. "Teruki said he 'knew what he was doing' when he asked Takuya out, and 'knew what he was doing' when he broke it off with him. And you and I kept saying 'No, don't do it,' both of those times, don't you remember? This wasn't supposed to happen!" Miku can't find the energy to keep standing and flops back down on the floor, body hunched over and shaking. I scoot over to Miku, putting a hand on his tremoring back, but he shakes it off, not having it. "And n-now..." he sniffles, "Now, y-you like Takuya..."
...Wait, what did he just say?
I sit up, shocked. "What???" I exclaim, probably louder than I should because the remaining photoshoot staff is staring, though they have been since Miku started crying. "Miku-" "Don't pretend it isn't true," Miku looks up at me with tears clining to his cheeks, smudging his stage make-up a bit. "I can tell, Kanon, and I know you've liked him for a while, before he went out with Teruki. And I also know that he already knew you liked him."
....Wait, what did he just say?????????
"How on earth could you know things like this?" I ask, incredulous. He sniffles again. "'Ca-cause of my Mikusuke senses, I just know..." "...Seriously?" I look at him, and amidst the tears, he seems totally serious. "Well... It's also because I'm not distracted by a relationship or things like that the way the rest of you are. Same with Yuuki. But that's not the point," he rushes to change the subject. "Yuuki talked to you, right? Well, he talked to me, too. We sort of both put what we know together and... solved the puzzle."
" 'Solved the puzzle,' " I repeat, confused. "What do you mean by that?" Miku lets out a shaky sigh, sitting up. "You and Takuya were talking as Teruki was being shot. Teruki was done and talking to Yuuki. Takuya was called on-set, and that's when Ichiro came walking through the door. Takuya saw this and saw Teruki, too. And knowing your feelings toward him... well, I guess he figured you wouldn't mind, and he kissed you in front of Teruki and Ichiro." As he's explaining, he's using hand motions to 'place' each event in chronological order.
You know that feeling when you think you're so right about something, you're positive you're right, and ignorantly defend your answer, only to be proven dead wrong? Well, that's how I feel right now. Miku's set-up is depressingly accurate, though I'm still wondering how I didn't know Ichiro was here, even before the kiss. "I..." Miku's right about another thing: The band's falling apart. I know Teruki doesn't want this to happen, but he's not doing much to help the situation, and neither is Takuya. And now me, Miku, and Yuuki are left in the crossfires, forced to pick sides. And I'm stuck, between one of my best friends, and a crush... he's still my crush, right? ...I'm not sure of that anymore, but still... "Maybe I should talk to Takuya... And you could talk to Teruki?"
Miku, to my surprise, shakes his head. "Yuuki's going to talk to Teruki, he volunteered himself. And I guess I'm the person that's going to get the info reported back to." Okay, that explains why Yuuki walked out with Teruki. "I just want to know what's going on, and that everything's okay." I nod, understanding. "But yeah, maybe you should talk to Takuya. I'm sure you have stuff of your own that you want to say to him, too."
There are his 'Mikusuke senses' again. I mutter a "Yeah" as I get up, and hold my hand out for Miku, which he takes as he gets up, too. "Kanon... if you and Takuya start dating- not now, but in the future- will things with you and him end up like Teruki's situation? If you break up, I mean. I'm not trying to say that the relationship will be doomed from the start, but-"
"Miku, what the hell are you even talking about?" I cut him off. He sounds like a 5-year old stuck in the midst of his parents' divorce, and is thinking so far ahead that it's making my head spin. "I don't even think Takuya likes me like that, so why does it matter?"
"I'm just saying..." Miku mutters, looking away. "Sorry, I shouldn't even assume things like that, I just... I don't know, I don't know much of anything anymore..." I can't stop looking at Miku in the fragile state he's in, it's like a car crash: tragic yet fascinating. I haven't seen him like this since... "It's alright. Look, just give me and Yuuki the night to talk to them, and then, like you said, we'll report everything back to you. Til then, just try not to worry, 'kay?" I put a hand on his shoulder, and unlike last time, he lets me leave it there, looking back up at me, still looking utterly depressed but nods, sniffling again. "Thanks, Kanon." I nod back. "Anytime. Anything to stop all this..."
Miku sacrifices his sad demeanor for a moment to give a small, hopeful smile, before turning away, grabbing his street shoes and walking out the door. I sigh as I change back into my street clothes, letting what I just promised to do sink in. And I feel my heart start to beat fast again, but it's because I'm scared. I don't know if I can really get the nerve to talk to Takuya...
And here I am, back in my room again... when did I get here?
I guess it doesn't really matter. I can't think straight, I'm too tired in every sense of the word to function anyway. And on top of all of that, I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I want to cry, but I can't... Oh dammit.
It's like when we have a live, and as soon as one song ends, the stage settings needed for the next song come in on-cue. It's just like this, because now, not only am I crying, but it's... vocal. I'm trying to quiet it with my pillow, and at this rate, I may as well just smother myself with it because I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this. I try to wipe the tears rolling down my face away, but more just keep coming in their place. It's frustrating, this and everything else.
I just... I can't do this anymore. I may as well type up a recognition letter to Red Cafe now.
I hear my cell phone vibrating next to me. It seems so loud, I just want to throw it across the room and keep sleeping...? I fell asleep? I didn't think I'd find this sort of peace, but I have to check the clock again since I don't believe myself, and it says 12:28AM. I look down and see the pillow I had over my face on the floor and covered with a couple of wet spots. I'm still sort of confused, but I just want the buzzing to stop. So I shake off my tiredness for the moment, and reach over to my nightstand to answer it, almost knocking over the lamp. "Yep?" I answer, still sounding half-asleep, and apparently half braindead because I don't check who is calling me.
Big mistake.
"...Kanon?"
I shoot up. That voice is what could, and did, wake me up completely. And not only the owner of the voice, but the tone of the voice as well. "Takuya? You sound terrible... What's wrong?" Why am I asking him this? In any case, he should be asking me. I feel terrible, too. God, and I sound terrible.
"I..." His voice started off, wavering. "I-I don't really k-know... I'm really sorry to call you so late, b-but... I didn't know what else to d-do..."
I run a hand through my hair, worried for him now. Again, why? I still don't know, but even when he's hurt me so badly- if what Miku and Yuuki have told me is true, that is- I still just want to be there for him. ...Ugh, there must be something seriously wrong with me. "Don't worry about it. Did you want to talk? ...Or you can come over if you'd like." 'He can what?' I'm not sure why he'd said that, I'm not sure why I'm being like this at all, but aside from my own selfish reason of wanting to see Takuya, I do genuinely want to see him to try to help him ...Ohhh... That was what I was supposed to do tonight, talk to Takuya. Oops.
"...Really? Y-you don't mind?" I hear Takuya sniffle, which only reassures me of my left-field suggestion.
"Of course not. Do you need me to come pick you up?"
"Umm... no, I can get there."
Alright, I'm not sure of much of anything, but I have a feeling that that answer sounded unsure. But I don't want to argue with him, so I'll just have to "buy it". "Okay, I'll see you soon, I guess."
I hear a click and look to see that Takuya's hung up without another word. I sigh, going from tired and down, to anxious and scared shitless all in one phone call.
A/N: How long has it been? ...Too long? Yeah, that's what I thought -.
Okay, so I've made some changes with this story. Here's a list:
1) I'm still fighting with the LJ formatting to keep my original formatting as it was...
Oh, changes... Okay, let me try that again...
1) Because it literally took me 7 tries to post it *right* on LiveJournal (and it still didn't work), I've decided to post all future chapters on Fanfiction dot net (here) until I can solve the problem I'm having. And I'll link the chapters to my LiveJournal account in the meantime ^_^
2) I tweaked the summary a bit when I realized that it wasn't a music video shoot where said-controversy happened, it was a photoshoot. So that's been changed, as well as Teruki's boyfriend, Ichiro, being a "mention". I didn't expect him to become a significant part of the story, but he is now, I guess.
3) I changed both the rating and the chapter length. I actually stole this from silveryxdark, where I'm doing "half chapters". This is chapter 3 (1). Chapter 3 (2) will be up... I'm not going to give a date, seeing as I can never get it in on the deadline I give myself XD But technically, this story is 4 chapters long, but since I've already said 3... well, it will be 3 hahaha. And it will now be PG-13 because of the language and super angst.
4) The format has obviously changed, because instead of a third person POV, it's in Kanon's view still. ...I don't know how that happened... But the next chapter will be both in Kanon's view and Takuya's view. Third person just doesn't work well for this type of story, you know?
5) I've said this before, but only the first part of the story is based on something that really happened in my life. The other chapters have the "essence" of it, but are not based on anything that ever actually happened. This is all to vent and my right to freedom of expression. I HAVE to make this disclaimer, because of fallouts and things changing and such... and I truly do apologize for any hurt of confusion I've caused with this story, it is not my intention and never was.
I doubt any of you read this, but oh well. I just wanted to make myself clear ^^ To prove I actually have some stuff with the final chapter done instead of leaving you all completely hanging, here's a preview:
"I said... I'm sorry, Kanon. Really... really sorry." This is the first time he's looked at me since being in the doorway, and his eyes are shining and seem to be shaking a bit with uncertain tears. The sympathetic me asks, "For what?"
"For... you know. Back at the shoot..." Takuya doesn't want to say it, like it's taboo and a curse will fall on him if he says it. I shake my head, feeling disheartened myself that he's apologizing for it. That means he regrets it, and I do, too, but under different circumstances, I would have gladly accepted it. "It's fine, really. I know you're hurting-" Who is this crazy person? It sounds like me, but I suppose I'm just in denial. Yet again, I get cut off by Takuya.
"Kanon, no, it's not fine! It's not..." Takuya now cuts himself off with his own sobs. He tries to quiet them, and I wish at that moment that I had the ability to suck the pain out of his heart, anything so he'll stop crying. I want to reach over and touch him, hug him, kiss him...?
^_^