I'd originally meant for this story to be a one-shot, but my overzealous imagination refused to let this one go. As always, I do not own Gravitation, that honor belongs to Maki Murakami.

Yuki gazed out his window and enviously watched the bustling city below. He imagined the scurrying people going shopping, out to dinner, or returning home to their loved ones. The now painfully familiar ache pierced his heart and spread throughout his chest. He moved away from the window bitterly unable to watch the normalcy of their lives. Time still moved forward for all of them while his life had come to a crashing halt the night he discovered his lover half dead in the park. Lighting a cigarette, he fought impotently against the onslaught of memories that threatened to overwhelm him, but as always they crashed effortlessly through his defenses…

Yuki stretched his aching muscles as he walked silently to the bathroom. He'd just finished his latest novel, and was looking forward to a nice hot bath. Maybe I'll even give that horny little brat a treat tonight, he considered lustily as visions of Shuichi's naked body lying wantonly across silk sheets appeared before his mind's eye. It had been far too long since he'd felt those legs wrapped around his waist and that lithe body writhing in pleasure beneath him. In fact, he couldn't even remember the last time he'd tasted Shuichi's sweet, strawberry scented lips. He was on the verge of giving up on the bath when he noticed the empty pill bottle lying in the sink.

"What the hell," Yuki complained aloud as he picked it up. "How many times have I told him to…" Curiously, he read the label. "When did Shuichi get a prescription for sleeping pills…" he wondered as he examined it further. His heartbeat quickened. The prescription had been filled this morning. "Shuichi," he yelled hastily stuffing the empty bottle in his pocket.

Anger and fear vied for dominance within him as he searched the apartment, but there was no sign of Shuichi anywhere. If he wasn't in the apartment, Yuki knew there was only one other place he would go. As he raced out of the apartment toward the park, he prayed he would be able to find Shuichi in time to save him.

Yuki crushed out the cigarette and slumped in defeat into his favorite chair. He hated reliving this. Every single time it ate away at his heart because he knew this was all his fault. It was far worse than what he had done to Kitazawa. His former tutor had been a drunken, rotten excuse of a human being, but Shuichi… All he ever did was fall in love with a soulless monster.

"I never should have gotten involved with him," he whispered into the oppressive silence as the memories pulled him back into his never-ending nightmare…

Yuki's heart nearly leapt into his parched throat when he saw Shuichi's body limply reclined on the bench. It looked as though he'd merely fallen asleep while gazing into the sky.

"Shuichi," he exclaimed hoping desperately that he'd blown the whole thing out of proportion. No reaction. 'So much for wishful thinking,' Yuki thought bitterly. "SHUICHI," he yelled as he grabbed his lifeless lover's shoulders. "Damn it, Shuichi, don't do this to me!"

Just as Yuki was about to give up hope, Shuichi slowly opened his eyes. It took at least a dozen seconds for the obviously sedated man to recognize his lover. Confusion and surprise flittered quickly across his face. 'He never expected to see me again,' Yuki realized guiltily.

"What were you thinking," Yuki demanded as he pulled the empty bottle of sleeping pills from his jacket pocket.

"Ummmph…" Shuichi tried to respond, but he was too far gone to talk.

"You've pulled some stupid stunts before, but this fucking tops them all," Yuki complained trying valiantly to cover his distress. He shoved the empty bottle back into one pocket while simultaneously pulling his cell phone from the other. "I need someone to send an ambulance," he asserted looking hopelessly into his lover's deathly pale face. As he automatically responded to the questions posed by the emergency operator, Yuki's anxious gaze never left Shuichi's eyes. He was slowly slipping away, and there wasn't a thing Yuki could do to stop it.

Ignoring the operator's admonition to stay on the line, Yuki closed his cell phone and shoved it back into his pocket. There was no way in hell he'd let the last conversation he'd ever have with his lover be overheard by someone else.

"The ambulance is coming. Just stay with me, okay," Yuki beseeched his slowly fading lover. 'It can't end like this,' his soul cried out in desperation as he impotently watched the life slowly wane from Shuichi's beautiful eyes.

"Damn it Shuichi… don't leave me!" A lone tear slid down Shuichi's cheek. 'He's dying,' Yuki reluctantly conceded. 'He's leaving me, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.'

"Shuichi please," Yuki exclaimed as he pulled the limp, petite body into a crushing embrace. "Don't leave me." Breathing in his lover's scent, he committed every sensation to memory. From the deepest recess of his soul, one phrase forcefully worked its way to his consciousness. 'I love you.' He bit back the tears that threatened to reveal his true feelings. 'God damn it Shuichi, I've always loved you!'

A lone siren cut mournfully through the still night air. Yuki knew it would be only a matter of minutes before the paramedics arrived to forever take Shuichi away from him. It was time to say goodbye, except he couldn't bring himself to do it. Choking on the bitter laughter that threatened to overwhelm him, Yuki embraced his lover tighter.

"How many times have I carelessly left you," he whispered the question into his Shuichi's ear. "And now, when I have no other choice, I… don't want to let you go."

The siren was getting louder. Whether he liked it or not, it was time. As he reluctantly pulled away, Yuki took a moment to gaze at Shuichi's face. Nothing could stop his tears this time. Tentatively, he stroked Shuichi's cheek, and lightly kissed his lips. Resting his forehead against his lover's, Yuki hugged him one last time.

"Goodbye." The word echoed through the chasm of his empty soul.

He could see the quickly approaching lights of the ambulance. Gingerly, Yuki reclined Shuichi's body on the bench. Going against his irrational urge to hover close to his lover, he grudgingly allowed the paramedics to push him aside. Silently Yuki prepared himself for the inevitable – the declaration that Shuichi was dead, the subsequent packing of his lifeless body into one of those hideous, nondescript body bags, and the eternal, excruciating emptiness that was sure to follow.

"He's got a pulse, but it's very weak," one of the paramedics exclaimed. "Do you have any idea what drugs he took?"

Too stunned to speak, Yuki handed him the empty pill bottle.

"Did he take all of these," the other paramedic asked incredulously.

"I'm… not sure," Yuki stammered his heart pounding so wildly he was afraid it would burst from his chest. "I think maybe he did."

"Shit," the first paramedic yelled emphatically tearing into his bag for a syringe and a vile of medicine. "We don't have time to stabilize him. We've got to get him to the hospital now!" Hastily he injected the medicine into Shuichi's arm. Then with expert precision they strapped him to a gurney and loaded him into the ambulance…

Yuki got up abruptly and walked into the kitchen. Somehow, the doctors had managed to save Shuichi's life, but they couldn't prevent him from slipping into a coma. Although Shuichi hadn't appeared to have suffered any permanent damage, they didn't know when, or even if he would ever regain consciousness.

As he pulled a beer out of the refrigerator, Yuki laughed bitterly. At first everyone had been so optimistic. 'Shuichi's a fighter,' someone had announced confidently. 'That's right;' another chimed in. 'there's no way a little thing like this will ever keep him down.'

Six months had passed since then, and nothing had changed. Yuki popped open the can and guzzled half of its contents. He wished he could swallow all of his pain as well. Every time he looked at Shuichi, it made him relive that awful night. Yuki could still feel the weight of his body lying lifelessly in his arms. The taste of their last kiss still lingered bitterly on his lips.

"Damn it," he drained the rest of the beer and retrieved another one. Aimlessly, he wandered through his apartment. This used to be his sanctuary; his most sought after respite from the world but without Shuichi, it just didn't feel like home anymore. All of the annoying little quirks that had nearly driven Yuki insane – the slovenliness, the constant barrage of inane pop music, and worst of all, the incessant singing, he would give up anything, make any kind of sacrifice to have it all back again.

Popping open his beer, he shuffled into the bedroom. Shuichi's belongings had long ago been put in order by the maid. Yuki had half a mind to go over there throw his clothes all over the floor, and scatter the CD's across the top of the dresser. 'That would just about do it,' he mused. 'But it still wouldn't be quite right.' He sipped at his beer in contemplation. 'Of course,' he shook his head at the obvious oversight. 'A couple of empty Strawberry Pocky containers scattered haphazardly throughout the mess should do the trick.' His cell phone pulled him reluctantly back into reality.

Yuki yanked the phone out of his pocket in irritation. "Who the hell is calling…" He immediately recognized the number. "Hello," he asked trying unsuccessfully to keep his emotions in check.

"Yuki-san, thank goodness you're home," Shuichi's mother exclaimed. "The most wonderful thing has happened! Shuichi's awake!"