Maelstrom Chapter 37
Pilgrimage 1 Part A

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there.

Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes!


Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!

Maelstrom Chapter 37
Pilgrimage 1

Part E

Continued from Part D

"Study you?" Perceptor asked Ratchet. The medical officer had at least managed to talk Perceptor into coming to fetch him and bring him back to the science lab. Ratchet was truly feeling sorry for the scientist. He didn't know a thing about the kind of person KC was, but First Aid had filled him in on her assignment and her death. To Ratchet, sending a human into Decepticon territory was a sign of real insanity on the part of the council, no matter how gifted she was. It was also a sign of pure, outrageous courage on her part, and he was honestly sorry he'd never met her. A person like that was a grievous loss no matter what they were made out of.

Certainly, he knew the signs of grief when he saw them. Perceptor was really a mess. Given how insulated Perceptor was from deep friendships the depth of this grief was something Ratchet wouldn't have said he was capable of. Not that Ratchet didn't think Perceptor didn't deserve close friends, he and Wheeljack had certainly tried, but Perceptor's intelligence made him unreachable to your average Autobot. They just couldn't communicate with him, couldn't follow his interests, and mostly couldn't HOLD his interest.

It was hard to be friends with a guy who could be chatting with you one minute, and examining the molecular structure of an amoeba the next. Perceptor could lose himself in his distractions for hours or days and then try to pick up the conversation where it left off - wholly oblivious to the time that passed.

He didn't mean it; it was just his way. Still, not many people could stand that kind of treatment for long, and as Perceptor valiantly tried to master his grief to no avail, Ratchet could see the scientist wasn't as ignorant of his affect on others as Ratchet had believed. Perceptor knew he'd lost one of the few people who would ever really understand him.

The crystal-encased medical officer smiled ruefully to himself. Here he'd been wanting a challenge. Careful what you wish for.

"Of course study me! No one knew this could happen! I didn't know I was copying my mind away when I tried to load this crystal - I just wanted to help First Aid! I was trying to load it with facts, not myself! I want to know why this happened. Rodimus says he thinks the blank stones 'read' your intentions and become what you want to a degree. I think he's right, but what I was thinking was some kind of interactive textbook. However what I was FEELING was really sorry for First Aid and wishing I could come along to help. Come on Perceptor! I've found a way to be in two places at once! Aren't you a little curious?"

"It is intriguing...as is your ability to interact with the physical world," Perceptor said.

"It's hard. It took me hours just to turn on that computer so I could reach you. Once I got it on though, accessing the comm system was easy," Ratchet explained.

"Fascinating...but whatever possessed you to try?" Perceptor asked.

"I was bored," Ratchet said.

"I assumed you just shut down when there was nothing to occupy you," Perceptor said.

"Actually," Ratchet said with some distress, "I can't shut down at all - even when the hologram isn't on, I am."

"A most intriguing predicament," Perceptor mused. "Do you suppose the Primes in the Matrix share that characteristic as well? We will have to begin with a complete diagnostic. I am in possession of the data collected by our cross-dimensional duplicates but I prefer my own analysis. We will start with a molecular and spectral analysis of your crystal and the other specimens Rodimus provided. From there we will proceed to...and where is my spectro-analyzer anyway? There it is. As I was saying, we will proceed...."

Ratchet smiled to himself, tuned out the techno-babble, and watched Perceptor get to work. The lab would get set up around him over the course of the next few days as the scientist set out to figure out what he was made of.
x
x
x

Earth:

The three ranking Autobots occupied the general office the three of them now shared at Metroplex. Back in the day it had been Optimus' alone, and he'd used it only on the rare occasions he needed to leave the Ark to run things from Autobot City. Magnus' office across the hall was the real center of command here, but it was Springer and Arcee's room now. Even now this room saw little use, but it was always left at the ready in case one of them needed to pay an official visit.

They were just about to discuss the meeting with the Protectobots when a call came in on Magnus' council frequency.

He was ordered to report for duty by the only authority he recognized higher than the two Primes staring at him.

Marissa.

Magnus was commanded tersely to take abrupt leave from his duties and join his mate at her parent's home in Arizona, and he would never have dreamt of defying her. Under the circumstances, even if either Autobot leader had notions of countermanding those orders, Magnus would have mutinied without a second thought.

Marissa was in labor, and he was leaving. Now.
x
x
x

Optimus and Rodimus stood watching Magnus' back bumper disappearing for the shuttle bay in a cloud of burnt rubber and exhaust.

"Oh things are going to get interesting around here," Rodimus smiled.

"You didn't do so badly," Optimus smirked.

"You know how you're always saying I'm adaptable?" Rodimus said wryly. "That guy...that guy is about to kiss his organized little life goodbye. He'll either love it or go into fatal over-load. I'm betting on overload."

"I'll take that bet," Optimus said, surprising Rodi.

"One cube?"

"Six."

"Oo...serious stuff," Rodimus snorted.

"What...too much for you?" Optimus jabbed.

"No. You're on!" Rodi grinned.

"Come on, we need to get back to Cybertron," Optimus chuckled.

Rodi's face grew grim. "I'm not coming back tonight," he whispered.

Optimus stiffened and stared at him.

"I have an assassination run to do...Miami's...Miami's a big port," Rodimus confessed.

"You didn't tell me..." Optimus muttered.

"Did...do you WANT me to? I'm sorry Optimus. I got in the habit of keeping this sort of stuff to myself," Rodimus apologized. His partner stood so stiff and cold all of a sudden. Rodi felt sick. For just a minute there, they had been friends again. Just friends sharing a happy moment for Magnus. Nothing to it. Now...all the icy barriers were back. "I didn't mean it!" he cried, hearing in a disjointed way how childish that sounded - like Edana when she broke her glasses by leaving them on the floor.

"I...I don't WANT to know," Optimus growled, "but if we are partners you must keep me informed."

"You're right. I'm sorry," Rodimus winced. He had resolved to do that already. Why hadn't he done it?

"What if something happens to you? How will we pick up where you left off?" Optimus accused.

Rodimus shrugged. "There's no overall plan, Optimus. I'm just taking on this ring because we happened to be here for the Protectobots."

"That has to change...we need a strategy," Optimus averred.

"I know...maybe what we learned will help us find one," Rodimus said. On another level he grieved...they were talking shop. The gap between them didn't widen, but it didn't close either, like Lancer's shoulder when she kept busting out her stitches. It had never had a chance to heal properly, so now that arm was weak, and hurt her every minute of the day. Would their partnership be like that? A fresh scar throbbing under the skin, just waiting for an excuse to tear?

He promised himself to do better, to keep in touch with Optimus no matter how ugly his missions were. Optimus deserved to be kept informed, even if...even if Rodimus wanted to shield him.

His head hurt...throbbed.

"Perhaps," Optimus said, his voice still cooly professional.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Rodimus told him. "The details are in the files on my workstation in my...you'll need to...you'll never find them. Lancer will meet you. She'll show you what you want to know." The words came slowly, as if they fought him. It was hard to tell his partner that. The details of this night would hurt Optimus.

"That's fine," Optimus said, optics flaring.

"I was just...trying to protect you. I've got to go," Rodimus said, activating his cloaking device. It was late. Getting dark. The fresh shipments came at dusk. Then the men would sample the goods for a while before Converting them. Rodimus transformed and started to pull away.

Optimus jumped, annoyed, as his partner abruptly vanished. He felt the anger at being left in the dark surge...and then...

"Rodi wait!" Optimus said, fearful suddenly the partnership was getting ready to vanish too. There was a very long silence and Optimus was truly afraid he'd waited too long, and was alone.

Finally though, the cloak fell. Rodimus' vehicle mode was on the threshold.

"I don't want to know what you're doing. I don't WANT to see what it's like for you, but you need to tell me...not just for planning or strategy or if the worst happens, but because I'm your friend," Optimus pleaded.

Rodimus transformed and stared a bit sullenly at his partner. His mind was already on the mission ahead. He knew it would be full of death, and blood, and pain he couldn't ease except by more death. The old rage was close to the surface. I want to help you...I can't help you...but all of them get the drill....

"How can I ever help you if you don't let me see you? When you vanish before my optics in more ways than one? How can I be your friend when I don't know where you are or what you're doing? How can I help you cope when you don't even confide in me? I don't understand you! I don't! Everything you have to do goes against what I was compelled to be! Rodimus! My mind is like a new spark! You have to teach me!"

"I...don't want...you..to learn," Rodimus said, his voice trailing off.

"You can't keep trying to protect me," Optimus stated. "I'm a Prime too!"

Rodimus winced. Optimus was right...but something was fighting.... Something deep. Fundamental. Pain seared through his head and his optics flared green and wild. On board the Maelstrom his mate tried futilely to get through to him and was screaming frantically for help...for Pagan.

"You've lost your mind!" Rodimus stated. "I'm a Prime. I'll help you find your mind... when I'm done. I have to decide," he went on flatly. "What do you think? Should I cut them open with the laser? Or the drill?"
x
x
x
Char:

Viper searched the whole base again. Adder followed her silently around the base in snake-mode, snapping occasionally at flying insects, but making no other sound.

No Cyclonus.

Frowning, the dark femme considered that he might be outside of the base, and transformed. She found the gap at the base of the front door and slid through it. Adder followed, coming close enough that occasionally their motion caused their coils to brush up against each other. Moving like this was the only time Adder let anyone touch her without striking. The two serpent-Cons sliced into the permanent dusk of Char, one dark and slim, the other light and solid.

Neither felt any need to speak as they hunted the Decepticon second through the ruins.
x
x
x

Maelstrom:

Lancer roared in agony and slammed her body sideways into the wall of the mess-hall. Malice didn't know what was happening but she recognized immediately that her friend was in full-beserker rage. The demonized mutant clutched her claws around her own shoulders and clamped down, piercing the flesh. Drawing her hands down left gaping cuts that ran from her shoulder-blades, over her shoulders, and down to her chest.

Malice grabbed her friend telekinetically and restrained her, even using the pressure of her powers to stop the bleeding.

This did nothing to calm Lancer's fury - it just kept her from hurting anyone, especially herself. Her shocked friends saw her body flare within the glove of Malice's field and knew if she'd been free there would have been a full-bodied energy-burst that would have destroyed the ship.

"What's happening?" Talon shouted above her bellows. "She hasn't gone nuts like this since the year she was possessed!"

"How should I know?" Malice snapped. "One minute nothing and the next she's trying to cuisinart herself!"

There was another flare from within the TK field. This time it bulged out a little.

"Can you hold her?" Pagan asked calmly.

Malice grimaced. "I don't know...I think so, but it's been a long time. She's stronger than I remember."

The door to the mess-hall opened and they heard Claudia's whistling voice keening, "Stop her! Stop her!"

No one understood Claudia's words...she was so distressed they were nearly above the audible range, but that tone always signaled disaster. Edana flew into the room just steps ahead of her mentor, her eyes were as wild as her mother's. She ran heedlessly at Lancer - oblivious to the blood and the talons and the flaring power.

She hit Malice's force-shield as though to tackle or embrace her mother at a full tilt run.

"MOM! CUT IT OUT!" she screamed.

Lancer passed out instantly.

The adults stood stunned, except for Claudia who caught up with Edana and grabbed her, enfolding the shuddering child in her over-long arms.

Malice lowered Lancer gently to the ground, and Edana stared at the deep wounds bleeding sluggishly under the pressure-field. Her face was ashen.

"Mom? Mommy?" she whispered.

"Don't look...don't look little one," Claudia whistled, trying to turn Edana's head and cover the pale eyes with her long, feathery fingers. They were both gasping for air from the long chase through the halls.

"'Dana...are you alright?"

"My head...my head hurts," Edana said breathlessly. Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she sagged bonelessly into Claudia's arms.

"I couldn't stop her!" Claudia said in guilty anguish. "I couldn't catch her!"

Talon arched an eyebrow. Claudia came from a fast species, and even if she hadn't anyone with legs that long should be able to outrun a six year old.

"This's one fast little kid," he said with admiration.

Pagan clacked at him in disgust, "We must get Lancer to med-bay and find out what transpires."

"I know," he said.

"Something's happened to Rodi of course!" Malice snapped, sick with worry.

"NO! Ya don't say!" Talon grinned. "Do you have Lancer or do you want me to carry her?"

"I've got her," Malice said, while Pagan told Jordan to meet them in the medical wing.

"Talon," Claudia wheezed, "could you help me with Edana? She's too big for me to carry all that way..."

"What? Lift this little squirt all by myself?" Talon smiled, taking her from Claudia's hollow-boned arms. "Come on Jelly-bean," he said, resting Edana on his shoulder. "Looks like you are gonna be non-stop trouble like your momma. Least ya come by it honest-like."

The worried crew took the unconscious mother one way, and the unconscious child the other, and worried about both equally.
x
x
x

Cybertron:

Cyclonus was getting bored. He was carefully and slowly inspecting the tunnel (including the ceiling!) for anymore clues. Other than an occasional scrape on a wall, he found nothing, but the colors of paint were intriguing, as were the heights he found them at.

Low on the wall...cobalt blue.

Higher...red, silver, and blue at different points along the route.

Proving nothing, he told himself firmly.

But who of that height had that shade of blue other than Magnus?

Who but Optimus wore just that shade of red and could leave paint at nearly Cyclonus' shoulder strut in vehicle mode?

Did anyone but Elita dress in metallic cobalt? No one Cyclonus could think of. Of course, he was hardly familiar with the teeming Paradronians but somehow he doubted any of them would fly through this tunnel so fast that they marred their finish on the walls.

He sighed. Paint scratches aside there wasn't a lot to this tunnel but miles and miles of nothing. He disciplined himself to concentrate and miss nothing. It took so much effort he missed it when the tunnel opened up to a field of carnage...until the first disembodied drone head came into his field of vision.
x
x
x

"Perceptor! Hey! Talk to me. What do you think?" Ratchet said.

"Fascinating," Perceptor said.

"Ah...yes. Now, since you always say that would you care to elaborate?" Ratchet said, a bit impatiently. Dealing with Perceptor during one of his inquests was something Ratchet had plenty of experience with, but he was finding it was different when HE was the subject.

'This crystal is extremely dense molecularly...the compression is extreme and extraordinarily well organized," Perceptor mused.

"All of which was in the reports I brought you," Ratchet said neutrally.

"I wonder what environment causes such structure..on Earth for example pressure builds diamonds which are quite hard but these are far harder and clearer," the scientist muttered, as if he didn't hear Ratchet.

"Rodimus said they found them forming along side a molten stream of glowing lava," Ratchet snapped, "A fact which is ALSO in the reports if you would like to read them."

"I prefer to do my own analysis," Perceptor reminded him.

"It IS your own analysis...or your twin's anyway!" Ratchet insisted in frustration.

Perceptor's optics brightened and he sat back a moment. "Do you think my twin would simply accept data from me without verifying it?"

Ratchet glared.

Perceptor waited a bit longer, and finally smiled.

"Wait here...I want to find one of the other crystals Rodimus brought back to do a refraction analysis, an elemental smear, and finally a fracture test on. I assume you don't want me using your new home for any of that?"

"Err! NO!" Ratchet said hastily.

"I thought not," Perceptor said, still smiling.

"Oh...you and your twisted sense of humor!" Ratchet cried, faking offense.
x
x
x
Earth:

"Rodimus? What are you talking about? What laser...?" Optimus asked. His head hurt...no...Rodi's head hurt.

"I'll help you find your mind..." Rodimus told him seriously, and then, without warning, he charged Optimus like a line-backer. Nothing fancy...no assassin's tricks...but the shocking speed and surprise of his assault paralyzed his partner. Rodimus shoved the senior Prime all the way back to the wall and then actually lifted the larger robot by the armpits off the floor. "I have to protect them!" he rasped.

"You can't..." Optimus said, acting purely on instinct now. Matrix please help me! If he kills me he'll never get over it! "Oh...Rodimus you can't protect me! You can't keep me out!"

Rodimus lifted him higher, showing no signs of tiring, and slammed Optimus back into the wall.

"You can't protect us all! You know it but you don't believe it! It's Sigma, Rodimus! Don't let it do this to you! No one can ask you to protect us all! You aren't in this by yourself!" Optimus prayed desperately for his partner to understand him. He was terrified, but didn't struggle. Somehow he sensed fighting back would be a fatal error.

Optimus' communicator flashed on unexpectedly. The Autobot was in such shock he barely recognized Robert's voice. "Optimus Prime! Lancer went ballistic and collapsed! We can't raise Rodimus and we can't scan the secure sections of your bases! Where is he? We are afraid he's in danger or maybe dangerous!"

If Rodimus even heard the message he gave no sign, but Optimus was afraid to answer anyway.

"Optimus Prime?" the communicator said.

"Rodi please...put me down," Optimus tried, worried that answering the Maelstrom might make things worse somehow, but trying to send them a message anyway.

"Oh...shit," Talon's voice cussed. "Hold on Sir!"

"No!" Optimus said before he could stop himself. "I..I know h..you won't hurt me! You just want to protect me Rodi. You don't want to hurt me."

"I'll help you," Rodimus growled, shoving again. The wall behind them groaned and buckled a bit.

Optimus almost blacked out under the impact and had a dizzy and shocked thought that he wasn't too pleased with Rodi's idea of helping right now. The Matrix was sending him pulses of pain and he knew Rodimus' head was surging with agony. Somewhere behind those crazed optics was an implant putting up one hell of a fight.

Centipedes... Optimus thought drowsily as he got slammed back again. Fight it Rodi.... Half unconscious, Optimus felt the Matrix keenly. Then he knew. This was the reason he'd been encouraged to hate his partner. Vector Sigma had planted this weakness in Rodi's mind and used HIM to chip, and dig, and prod at it. If he was going to help, if he was going to even survive, he would need to undo the damage. He struggled to keep awake and went on the offensive.

"You are as cruel to yourself as they were! It's a lie! It's a Sigma spawned lie! We are just fallible mortals and we can't punish ourselves for it! We can't protect everyone all the time!" Optimus shouted.

The young Autobot didn't respond except to pound him deeper into the wall.

"I'm sorry..." Optimus whispered. "I'm sorry I took it out on you."

Rodimus lifted him and slammed him into the wall again, harder than ever. Optimus felt the protrusions on his back crushing, but knew the fight he had to wage was the one in Rodi's head. Hurting him physically would be the last thing Optimus ever did.

"This is why you think you'll never measure up! This is why you doubt yourself! No Prime was ever perfect! You know that! WHY SHOULD YOU BE ANY DIFFERENT!?"

"They're screaming...they're screaming so loud..." Rodimus said in a conversational way. He hit Optimus to the wall with a hollow boom. The senior Prime cursed the sound-proofing, and the command codes they'd used to shut Metroplex out of their conversation. Just on the other side of that wall there were oblivious Autobots doing their duties.

Optimus didn't dare call for help. Was the Maelstrom still listening?

The Matrix flared so hard in his chest he actually saw a flare of light through the seams. Optimus felt, rather than saw, something evil in Rodi's mind, fighting his perceptions of self and reality. It was as though all the extremes of Rodi's personality were colliding - his guilt and his confidence, his realism and his idealism, his madness, his clarity, his hate, and the love which spawned it. Somewhere in the middle of that mess was the implant which kept those extremes apart - as if he was two partial people rather than one where it all made sense.

No Prime was perfect...and he was not a complete failure for failing to be so.

Vector Sigma's implant argued...and to win would mean Rodimus would have to give up his guilt over everyone from Goldbug, to Daniel, to the Slaver victims he couldn't save.

In Op's mind that seemed like a very tall order.

SLAM!

That hurt some. Optimus' optics flickered off...then on again. If he failed, he would die. How could he help when Rodimus knew Op still harbored hate towards him?

"Rodimus..." Optimus whispered. "Do you know...how proud I am of you?"

He felt the rigid arms lift him again. Would this kid ever get tired? He sighed, waiting in resignation for the next circuit jarring impact, but it never came. Rodimus just held Optimus up, as if he were a child rather than a larger mech.

The green optics flared and dimmed...flared and dimmed. The Matrix pulse kept perfect time. Could Rodi feel it? After all these years of trying to amputate his link with it? Certainly, it still felt him, and was sharing the pain nicely with Optimus. Would it send Optimus' fears, and sorrows, and regrets back? Had his own soul healed enough that it would aid his friend or would lingering bitterness just make things worse?

While he was sure it was only a fraction of the real thing, Optimus was not at all ungrateful that Rodimus had tried to keep this madness from him, even if that had to change.

"They're screaming. I want to help them. I can't," Rodimus said, still calmly, as if they were talking about the weather or road conditions.

"You can't help them...you can't. It's not your fault that you can't! Please, please believe me! I'm proud of you Rodi! You did the best you could!"

"They're screaming..."

"I know. Get rid of that stupid implant Rodi! Please!"

"They're screaming!" Rodimus roared, slamming Optimus into the wall again.

"You can't help them! You can't! Let it go!"

The Matrix throbbed.

"I wish...." Rodimus whispered.

"What?" Optimus whispered back.

"I wish I could...." Rodimus said, dropping Optimus so suddenly the senior Prime's legs almost didn't hold him. Rodimus backed away, and doubled over, clutching his head.

He wanted to do something. He wanted something to attack. There was light...some kind of light showing him a target. It illuminated a dark place in his mind - something that coiled in and out of his thoughts like an alien insect. It tried to hide, but the light followed it. He grabbed. It fought.

Optimus sagged to the floor, wondering briefly how he could have ever felt anything but compassion for this suffering being...and maybe it was that change of attitude that helped at last. Rodimus clutched and pulled the implant free of his mind, pulling it up from the depths like a deeply buried cable, or a tight chain grown into flesh. It came reluctantly and tore up what it passed through on the way, but it came.

Rodimus stumbled back a few more steps and fell to his knees. The broken implant left deep ruptures with it's passage and the pain rivaled anything he'd experienced.

"Rodimus?" Optimus called weakly.

"They're screaming! They're screaming Optimus! I wish I could! I wish!" Rodimus told him, looking up and seeming to really see his partner for the first time. "I...wish...."

Optimus felt it through the Matrix like a tsunami before it broke free of Rodi's mind. As if the implant had been the dam holding the pain inside, it flooded out at last.

Rodimus screamed.

Continued in Part F