Okay, here we go… Randy's POV as promised… btw, I OWN NOTHING… not even Tammy… damnit.
Randy's POV
*How could it come to this? Just how?*
He was still sitting in his SUV, in Tammy's driveway, not really knowing what to do next. He did not want to leave, but also did not want to stay. He could not stay. Not with all those thoughts running through his head.
Sighing, he rested his head on the steering wheel, hands in his lap, shaking as tears fell down his cheeks, draining his pants.
*I once loved Samantha. I really did. I wouldn't have married her if it wasn't the case. She was such a sweetheart: understanding, caring, supportive. However, a few months after the wedding it already started. She was complaining more and more about me not being at home, about me not helping her in the household, me barely having time for her. But we fought through it. We fought through it and the best thing ever happening to me happened… Alana was born a few months later.
She's my sunshine, my sanity, my biggest love ever. Every time I come home, every time I see her face, every time I see her smile or hear her giggling I just have to smile. I can't help myself. My little girl means the world to me. I can't lose her. I couldn't live without her.
Only a few months after Alana was born it started again and it did get even worse. Now Sam was also complaining that I wasn't a good dad, being on the road all the time, barely calling her and Alana, even indicating that I had an affair, which to that point in my life wasn't true at all. I was always faithful, no touching other women, no kissing them; I barely went out with the boys. Nevertheless, she couldn't understand that I was doing my job; I was trying to cash in extra money for us, for Alana, taking more photo-shoots, more interviews, and more houseshows than before. All it did to us, all SHE did to us was ruining it.
I felt less and less love for her until it faded completely and the love we once had even turned into hatred. But I couldn't leave her… I couldn't live without Alana.
When I met Tammy that first night, I couldn't help but fall for her the minute I saw her. I don't know what it was that drew me to her: her looks, her charm, the way she treated that guy who tried to touch her, her charisma, her whole appearance. But god, I had to have her.
The first few weeks -I admit it- they were just fun, fun and playing around, getting away from the drama at home. But it didn't take long for me to realize it was more and as the weeks went on, I fell more and more for her. I drowned in her. I started to love her. She treated me like a human being again. She trusted me. She showed me again how amazing love can be. Moreover, she never left my side. Week in and week out… she did never give up on our love and me.
I actually loved her… I do love her. The day she confessed to me that I mean the same to her, god, it made me the happiest of them all.
I couldn't stop grinning, couldn't stop myself from smiling. I even told my best friend, correction … friends.
Cody hates Sam anyways, so it wasn't a surprise that he helped Tammy and me. John on the other hand… well, it took a while until he saw how happy she makes me; until he accepted our affair and started helping us, too. Ted and Evan… they still don't know. I guess I should tell them, they're suspicious anyways. Maybe they could help me. Maybe my friends can tell me what to do. They have their share of experiences, too. God, I have no idea what to do. I'm lost. I'm done.
I really tried to find a way out of that hell called marriage without losing Alana. God knows, I've tried, but there doesn't seem to be a chance. It's either losing Alana or losing Tammy.
But how can I make a decision between the two most important women in my life? The two most important people in my life? The two biggest loves of my life?
And now… she's pregnant… pregnant with my baby… with our baby. God… how I want this. Yes, I do want it. I want us to be a happy little family, just as she wants it to be. I'm dreaming of this for so long now, wishing for it.
She's pregnant.*
Randy lifted his head up from the steering wheel a slight smile playing on his lips, whispering to himself.
"She's pregnant. Our baby."
*Leaving Sam would mean losing Alana, but with a good lawyer, I could still visit her at least every weekend. Alternatively, every month. Leaving Tammy would mean losing her and the baby… and a possible happy future… the possible happy future I always wanted to have. The happy family I always craved for*
He bit his lip, his eyes red and puffy, pants now dark-blue from the tears that have fallen on them. Shaking his head as he it rested on the steering wheel again, he took a deep breath to sooth himself, mumbling.
"Don't make the wrong decision. Don't make a mistake."
Fact is that for this it was too late. The mistake was already made.
Okay… *sighs* god, I hope you people like it. I hope it explains Randy's feelings enough. I wanted to leave it out in the open and first write Tammy's POV in the next chapter before letting him make his decision.
Reviews highly recommended… so are suggestions! Thanks a lot!