Fanfiction is being a bitch... Can't edit the chapters as I want, so excuse me if the whole chapter's in bold. Tried changing it a million times... *groans*
Here it is... pretty short, but I think this one's better than the last again. No Tammy here, only Cody and Randy. Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own Tammy, I own my imagination, I own the insanity, nothing more.
Warning: Strong language
*Randy's POV*
He was lying on the bed, arms crossed behind his head. Another night, another hotel.
It has been three days since she had told him about the kiss, three days since he had stormed out, since they had not talked, had not seen each other. Three days in which he had done a lot of thinking, in which he had barely slept.
His eyes were blood-shot, eye-bags big and swollen, face pale as he stared at the ceiling like all the other nights before.
Vince had asked him today where Cody had been, since he had not shown up for the show. It had not been a tragedy since he did not have a match, but he was supposed to tape an interview for the next Raw.
He could not say it. He did not know it. Maybe Cody got stuck in traffic, maybe he had forgotten, maybe… maybe he was with her.
*I fucked up… it was ONE damn kiss… ONE… and I ran off… fucking idiot. I could have lost her during that accident, could have lost the baby… I got lucky that they are both fine… and then I screw up. Over one silly, little mistake. It meant nothing, right? That is what she had said. Then… why did I freak out? Why did I just leave? Shit, Randy… *
He sighed, running a hand through his dark, shaved hair and back down over his face, groaning as he glanced over at the clock: 4 a.m.
*I wonder what she's doing? If she's already back home? How our baby is? I had everything… she is everything… beauty, brain, charm, charisma, humor, the body of a goddess… and she treated me like a king. Whenever I was with her, she made sure I was as happy as can be… they birthday-presents I've gotten… the… shit! The promise I gave her!*
He smacked his forehead, slowly sitting up, stomach doing flip-flops, not having eaten anything for the past two days.
*Why did she have to kiss him? Why did she do it? One kiss… she said it had been one, right? … No… she said she'd kissed him… they'd kissed… she didn't say how often… she didn't even say how far it went. Damnit! Why a kiss? Such an intimate way to show affection… for me… it's even worse than sex. Sex is only… it's physical, it's… nothing as long as you don't kiss… it's only fun… a game… but a kiss. It shows love… magic… passion… a kiss is where all the emotions lay in.*
Randy slowly got up, running a hand over his shortened hair as he strode over to the window, resting his forehead against the low glass, starring out into the dark, a few stars sparkling on the spring-sky.
He sighed heavily, tongue darting out to wet his lips.
*I don't want to lose her… I can't. She's what makes me happy… she keeps me sane… she's what I need and what I want… she's everything I have left.*
Walking over to the nightstand he grabbed his cell, typing in the number he needed before plopping back down on the sheets, holding his head up, elbows propped up on his thighs, waiting for the phone to be picked up.
OLP was playing on the other end, almost forever and he just was about to hang up, just wanted to give up when he heard the grunt… a sleepy, cracking voice.
"What?"
"Cody?"
"Oh fuck… Randy… what do you want?"
"You haven't been at the show today."
"I've already talked to Vince. I wasn't feeling well."
A long sigh… silence… another sigh.
"Randy… it's fucking four in the morning. What do you really want?"
*Closure… the truth… an apology… an explanation… a reason…*
"Are you with her?"
Another sigh.
"I'm at Evan's place. But to make it short: She's okay. The baby's okay. I've been with her yesterday. Her arm and ribs still hurt a lot, but she said she'll be fine. A neighbor offered her help as long as she's alone."
He swallowed, not really knowing how to ask what he really wanted to know, not knowing if he even wanted to hear the answer.
"Did you…"
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, trying to find his composure.
"Do you love her?"
He heard Cody swallow, he heard him sigh, he heard… the covers moving… a body shifting… a female voice grumbling.
"Can we talk tonight? I'll be at the arena an hour early… no need to talk about this over the phone… 'specially not at such an unholy time."
Randy bit his lip, nodding, trying to blind out the bad feeling he had.
"Yeah… sure…I'll let you sleep."
"Thanks… and Randy?"
"Yeah?"
"She misses you… a lot!"
With that, the line went dead. He blankly stared at his cell for minutes before placing it back on the nightstand with shaking hands, letting his body fall back onto the covers, tears filling in his eyes as he returned to what he had done the past two nights: staring at the ceiling and thinking about what to do.
*Cody's POV*
*4... Fucking… a.m.*
Sighing he shut his phone, glancing over at the naked, warm body next to him; dark curls covering her face, soft snores leaving her red, swollen lips, one leg draped around his own, arm resting on his waist.
He had lied. He was not at Evan's house… he was not alone.
Looking out of the window, he saw the night-lights of St. Louis sparkling, blinking, shining, blending him.
After he had regained the little bit of self-control that was left in him yesterday, he had helped Tammy getting dressed - and god knows that it had taken all his strength not to jump her, god knows he had wanted her badly- he had helped her with everything she had needed, dishes, laundry, dinner… and then… he had left.
He had gone to a club… he had found himself a girl… he had taken her to a hotel… and he had fucked her good and hard.
The guys had been right at Randy's birthday; it had been a while, a long while… now it had even been four weeks longer since he had gotten laid. He had needed it, wanted to get it out of his system, to forget about HER.
Now as he was looking down at her lithe frame, the beautiful curves, the gorgeous face… he knew he could not.
He wanted Tammy… he loved her… but he could not have her.
It was always just one… friendship or love… right?
*Randy's POV*
The evening came pretty fast. After not being able to sleep, he had decided to grab an early breakfast at 6 a.m. seeing that his stomach demanded some food, making him feel nauseas all night long.
After the breakfast, he drove to the next town, alone. He was actually glad on not having company on his ride this time since Ted and John had seriously gotten on his nerves the day before, not shutting up about him being an idiot for storming out on Tammy.
The drive was quiet, except the loud music, but… that was something soothing to him. He had time to think about what to say to Cody, what to do… kill him? Well… not really a good option… maybe first listen what he has to say and then kill him?
But then again that would not help getting her back, right? It might even make it worse.
After the drive, he had gotten in a quick workout before deciding to try this sleep-thing again… but failing miserably.
By the time he headed to the arena, his eyes were blood-shot, strained, puffy, making him look 10 years older than his age. He just wanted to fucking get this over with and … and … call her?
*What then?*
He was sitting in his locker-room on the bench, back resting against the cold locker, still in his street-clothes, black jeans and blue affliction-shirt hugging his tensed body while he stared at the ceiling.
*I just want to hear her voice again, talk to her again, hold her, feel her touch, feel her soft lips, her hands, look her in the eyes, want to tell her that I'm sorry, that I never want to let her go again, that I over-reacted…*
A soft knock brought him out of his world as he straightened his head, wetting his lips with his tongue, his eyes fixing on the wood.
"Come in…"
Not even his voice sounded like his own anymore, drained, cracked, hoarse.
Cody slowly stepped inside, eyes locking with Randy's as he closed the door behind him, swallowing, leaning his back against it.
"Hey…"
"Hey back…"
The whole situation felt awkward, both of them not exactly knowing what to say to each other, Cody running a hand through his dull raven-hair as he looked down at the floor and then back up again.
"You… you look like shit."
Randy chuckled lowly, sarcastically, fixing his eyes on the younger man.
"Thanks…"
He sighed, shaking his head before getting up… then sitting down again, groaning.
"Okay… this is bullshit… I don't want to beat around the bush…"
Cody chewed on his bottom lip, crossing his arms over his chest as if to defend himself, staring intensely at Randy, waiting for him to go on.
"You kissed her?
"Yeah…"
"You her… or she you?"
A sigh.
"I kissed her… twice…"
Randy tilted his head slightly, pressing his lips together, trying to figure out if it was the truth or if there was anything else.
"Just kissed?"
Cody nodded, now avoiding the older mans gaze.
*Good… I think*
"Do you…" He sighed, running a hand over his face before looking back over at Cody. "Do you love her?"
Cody stayed silent, swallowing hard, lowering his head even more if possible.
"You do…"
"Listen Randy… it's not… I didn't plan to… to fall for her… the kisses… they weren't planned… I… she loves you and only you… she made that absolutely clear to me… I won't… I…"
Randy had heard enough. He slowly got off the bench, breathing heavy and deep, walking over to Cody, staring at him. He could see the fear in Cody's eyes, his body tensing, his Adams-apple bopping as he swallowed hard.
He stopped only inches away from his best friend, placing a hand next to his slightly shaking body on the door, closing his eyes for a moment before taking another deep breath.
"You don't come near her ever again, understand me, Cody? Or our friendship will be over… finito… and believe me… you don't want that to happen."
His voice was sharp, threatening, eyes cold and blank. Cody could see the blood in them, the heavy bags under them; he saw the seriousness in them.
"I love that woman to death and I won't let her go that easily… I won't give her up… I won't lose her. She's my everything."
His voice trailed off as he spoke about her, thinking of her, seeing her beautiful image in his mind, voice twitching up in a small smile.
"Then why did you just run off? Why did you just leave? Why couldn't you let her explain? Why? She needed you…"
Randy froze at the bitterness in his former protégés voice. He stared back into his eyes, seeing them darken, seeing them getting cold, hard.
"I…"
He sighed, taking a step away from Cody again, running a hand through his short hair as he turned around, walking back over towards the bench again.
"I was scared… afraid that… afraid of the truth… that she might not love me anymore… that I might lose her… to you."
Cody's eyes widened as he stared at Randy in disbelief.
He sat down on the bench again, eyeing the young man for a while before shaking his head, tucking in his bottom lip.
"Come on, Codes… I've seen the two of you together, seen her look at you, seen how you've looked at her… this wasn't just played… you said you love her, what if she does love you back?"
*She could leave me… just like Sam did. Why wouldn't she choose someone like Cody over me?*
Cody shook his head, not able to stifle the laugh leaving his plump lips.
"Are you fucking serious Randy? She fucking LOVES you… YOU are everything to her… YOU are her life. Why don't you fucking get that in your head? … I fucking wanted more… god knows I did… but she STOPPED me… she pushed me away. Fuck yes, I hoped she wouldn't, but she DID…"
Randy swallowed, staring at Cody, mouth agape, fists clenching at his sides.
"You…"
Cody sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment.
"I'm sorry… okay? I know I should've never tried, but… I did and I can't change it anymore. I won't do it again… you two… you are meant for each other. I know that now… and damnit, Randy… I don't want our friendship to end over some shit like that. Just…" He played with his bottom-lip, chewing and biting at it before looking back at Randy with a sigh. "She loves you with everything she has… you should know that by now. And she needs you… the baby needs you and by the look of it… you need her just as much."
He waited for a response, but in all honesty, Randy had no idea what to say. Sighing, he pushed himself off the door.
"Listen… I've a match coming up and need to get changed… just… call her. She misses you."
"But… but… last night… when we talked, I've heard someone…"
Cody blinked in confusion, crossing his arms again over his chest, tilting his head.
"… she was with you, right?"
Cody chuckled, shaking his head, licking his lips to wet them a little.
"Geez, Randy… yes, I was with someone, but not with her… and that's as much as you need to know. God damnit, man… stop imagining things… now if you'll excuse me… we can talk later again if you want to. Right now… just call her… and Randy?… I think you two should really talk… about EVERYTHING."
With that, Cody opened the door, leaving the locker-room, Randy staring after him, licking his lips, fingers digging into his thighs, sighing heavily.
*God, the boy really has some guts… kissing her and then telling ME to suck it up… he… shit… I just hope he's right… I hope he didn't lie… and most of all… I hope she can forgive me.*
Next one might take a little longer since I've lots of work coming up. Just hope my slash-muses will leave me alone until I come up with the next chapter. :P
Reviews?!