PART 9
XIV
Bonnie doesn't understand Damon, or where the maddening, nonstop push and pull of their so-called relationship is heading.
She gets as far as accepting they have a connection, a nearly chemical reaction to each other's presence. She is aware of him in a way she is not aware of anything else. What does that mean? She has no clue at all.
She doesn't understand why he goes hot and cold all the time with her, whereas with Katherine and Elena he was relentless and consistent. Every single time he has touched her in desire he has backtracked to stalking from a safe distance afterwards. And that's particularly offensive, because it's three freaking days she can't get over how he made her feel that evening, with his face between her legs and his hands all over her, looking at her like she was beautiful.
Damon is well known for boasting over every smallest thing. He is just that much of a vain, arrogant, malicious dickhead.
Yet he won't breath a word of anything that's ever happened between them to Caroline or his brother or Elena. It's absolutely out of character and Bonnie doesn't understand why.
Why?
Sometimes she suspects he does it to keep her within his reach. Unless it's a secret, she can't let the idea of him go. Secrecy keeps her guessing when or how he might spit the truth out. It's pretty much clear that, once other people know, they will warn her and threaten him and she will be reminded once more of all the healthy reasons she should stay away from Damon.
They act antagonistic in public and it's not a front, yet when other people aren't around, they fit just so naturally. It doesn't help any that since they have confessed to killing Katherine, Stefan keeps pairing them together in vigilante-duty. He says he trusts Bonnie to 'contain' his brother, whatever that means.
"Sometimes I thought I could love him- Elena has told her, not so long ago- although that feeling I got around Damon was very different from how I feel for Stefan. I saw the loneliness and the need for passion in him and I wanted to assuage them so badly. But mostly, I think I was fascinated with my hold over him. There's something thrilling in having power on someone so unrestrained."
The way Bonnie feels toward Damon is very different. She doesn't feel that much compassion for his misfortunes, because she is deeply convinced that he is the one who chooses to bring them on himself. He has chosen to be alone, by chasing women who would never truly belong to him, by destroying everything and everyone else around him, by destroying himself for hatred or for love. Damon is Damon's worst enemy, ironically.
Yet, there's that wilderness about him, that primitive capacity for unreserved intensity …they call to the witch inside her. Damon mesmerizes her like storms and lightning used to when she was a child.
Inviting the vampire into her home might just be the worst decision she ever made: she has stopped counting the mornings she has awakened to find him towering above her bed, still like a statue, and he has taken to this awesome habit of visiting whenever he feels like, for however long he feels like.
Or at least, he behaved like that before she let him eat her out in his family library. That was three days ago and he has not tried to harass her once since then. She has not seen him since then, except for a few minutes yesterday night, when Alaric organized an impromptu reunion to discuss the possible location of Klaus's lair.
And now she has a crow perched on the tree before her bedroom window, spying on her, and she has no idea of how she is supposed to act.
They are not dating, so there's no reason Damon should call her after sexing her up a little. She doesn't want to date someone like him, anyway. That would be inconceivable.
The problem is that when she stops and actually wastes her energy thinking about it, it almost feels like they have been dating. They've made out more than once, after all. He has paid for her drinks, more than once. He took her out for a movie after that action. They had even had an accidental moonlight stroll in the woods. He has cooked pasta for her!
And that isn't even counting the times he fed on her. Bonnie is not even sure if the stupid murdering maniac wants her for food or sex! No wonder she is confused!
And this is why she is pretending to read Emily's old Grimoire like she hasn't noticed his presence at all. Moronic, narcissistic, temperamental, insensitive crow.
"What are you reading about?"
The jovial, giddy voice right in her ear has her jumping out of her skin with a sound, an embarrassing sound in between a gasp and a hiss.
Stupid, stupid vampire superspeed and unrepentant sadism!
Damon's hands reach for her hunched shoulders and are awarded with a jolt of static electricity.
"Easy there, little witch…"
"How the fuck did you get in?" She spits, getting up abruptly and shaking his touch off in anger.
"Your father has left the bathroom window open." He shrugs with a hint of mocking disapproval, but transparent amusement at her distress.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"You looked so stiff and stressed, I thought I would cheer you up."
"Gee, thanks."
Her sarcasm hardly dents the vampire's enthusiasm and he gives her one of those beaming, falsely innocent grins of his. "I haven't even begun."
In a smooth, quicksilver movement, his arms surround her waist and pull her flush against him as his head dips down and his lips brush the corner of her mouth.
Bonnie isn't so hypocritical as to fight it, but she waits until he is the one to tilt her chin up and properly initiate the kiss before giving in completely.
Their kiss is lazy, soft but increasingly eager: it makes her whole body to hum with delight.
"Smarmy jackass," she reproaches breathlessly, head falling backward as he molds her body tightly against his with possessive, greedy caresses. She feels like his hands are everywhere at once and she has no idea how that is possible.
Whoa, how has the mood warmed so fast?
"No biting," she warns, digging her nails into his shoulder when he kisses her neck sloppily, dragging his teeth along the smooth hollow and down across her collarbone, like he wants to cover as much ground as he can get away with.
"No more biting and more fucking," Damon acquiesces, squeezing her hips and guiding her toward her bed until the back of her knees hit the mattress.
Falling down into a sitting position, Bonnie pushes the vampire forcefully back, levering with her open palms on his chest.
"Not with my dad here and about."
How could she have forgotten? And most importantly how could he think she would agree to fuck him with her dad in the house!
Damon smirks, undeterred, and lies down beside her, stretching languidly on his side. His fingertips linger teasingly along the outline of her arm. "He won't bother us. I've put him to sleep. "
"You did what?"
His eyes roll upward in a theatrical show of annoyance at her indignation. "By simple Compulsion."
"Is that supposed to make it better? You can't treat my father like a…"
"-A helpless, hindering human?"
"Damon!" she seethes, her gaze brimming with fury.
"Bonnie!" he derides her in a small, whiny voice that gets on her nerves even more.
"You are such a dickhead!"
"You are the most uptight teenager ever."
Still, he leans over, half-covering her with his larger figure, and cups the back of her head to draw her lips back to his, unwilling to waste another moment with what he perceives as useless stalling. Bonnie squirms and fights at first, but when he rolls them over and entraps her under his weight, she moans into his mouth and grants him as much access he wants.
His attempts to get her naked are, nonetheless, less than successful.
Which gets him quite spectacularly angry, because every time his fingers manage to creep any higher than her belly under her shirt, she will shock him with tiny jolts of electricity. It hurts like hell but it's also a major turn on.
He wants to bite her all over her bare flesh, to mar her brown skin with superficial cuts from his fangs and lick the sweet blood oozing from her wounds…to bleed her dry while she drinks from him.
Someday, maybe (probably) he will. But not today.
It's still unfair that she is allowed to discard his shirt and claw at his naked back all she wants.
With a growl of frustration, Damon pulls at the cloth of her ankle-length skirt and reaches underneath. The bitch allows him to run his palms along her legs until he grazes her thighs. Then a stronger jolt has the vampire gritting his teeth and almost passing out from the pain.
Exploiting his momentary incapacitation, Bonnie twists a hand into his hair, pulling hard before rolling her hips and straddling him.
By the time she is on top of him, she doesn't even remember why she is so furious, she only knows she needs more of him.
Just looking down at Damon under her, livid with anger and lust, eyes black as coal, dangerous but helpless, his limbs nearly convulsing under her lighter weight, makes her feel very unlike herself. Stronger, wilder, braver. Better. Whole. Hungry.
It feels like the most natural thing in the world to unbutton his jeans and lower them so she can sink herself onto him. She just takes him boldly in her small, warm hand and guides him inside her, shakily pushing her underwear aside.
And when she meets his gaze again, the fierce, desperate want she sees reflected there is so terrifying she freezes, like the feeling of him halfway in is suddenly threatening.
Damon snarls, less than pleased with her abrupt halt, his fangs clattering together in an attempt to contain both his impatience and his appetite.
Bonnie breathes in deeply, letting the fear go, and lets herself slide down on him, enjoying the wave of unadulterated pleasure that comes with the slow movement.
"Bonnie," he grumbles, digging his fingers painfully into her hips, and hearing her name spoken so roughly sends a thrill of dark contentment throughout her.
This is so fucked up. I'm so fucked up- she thinks, throwing her head back in abandonment, moaning despite herself. But it's a pointless observation, because she already knows she can't and won't stop.
Not when she is already falling apart at the seams. For him.
His hips buck up and his grip on her waist becomes bruising, driving his cock deeper but not quite deep enough.
A fatigued gasp afterward, she's on her back again and Damon is bending one of her legs at an uncomfortable angle so he can fill her more completely, animated by a commanding desire to reach the very bottom of her.
Wrapped tightly around his body, Bonnie pants and writhes, her skin sweaty and feverishly warm, her gaze unfocused as he thrusts into her again and again. It's a blatant contrast to the unchanging, dry coolness of his skin but it doesn't bother him at all. If anything, it feels good. Being inside her, being covered with her scent and her perspiration…that's right to him, perfect even.
"Damon" she holds onto him like her life depends on it, crying his name out like a prayer more than once, until her voice breaks and all that's left are her sighs and groans of pleasure.
They move together frantically, with a jagged roughness that occasionally borders on brutality but it's infinitely more satisfying than finesse for both of them.
In the end, he is no more in charge then she is: they clutch at each other blindly, their quivering limbs anchoring them together, skin to skin, while the final release blazes through their senses and pulls them utterly, frighteningly undone.
They stay still, spent and entwined for a long time after, Damon's face hidden in her hair, Bonnie' s arms loose around him, listening to each other's breathing as it evens out.
When Damon summons the strength and the will to roll onto his back, disentangling from his very exhausted lover, it's like his brain can't function properly but he feels like the king of the universe.
"Impressive." He exhales, his tone oozing satiation.
"Indeed." Bonnie nods beside him, her lips curling up dreamily although her gaze refuses to let go of her ceiling.