Risk

Chapter 29

The golden ring that Goku had vowed to give Chi-chi hung around her neck on a golden chain. The names engraved on the surface told a story behind the couple who were separated by death. She wore a black dress with a dark veil over her face that hid the tears that were in her eyes.

Her father held Goten who was at the time pre-occupied by the bottle of milk he eagerly drank. Unlike the others, he was too young to understand the painful loss they were going through at that moment.

'Goten will never know his father…' Chi-chi thought sadly to herself. She noticed Gohan, standing next to her, he seemed quiet, yet stable. '…and Gohan's spent more of his life without him there… I never even thought I would be a widow this young and wanted to do everything within my power to keep it from happening.'

The casket that held her husband's body was brought out of her father's castle by the warriors, except for Vegeta, that fought valiantly at his side. Chi-chi watched them carry it down the stairs towards the carriage that would carry the coffin towards his grave. She held back the tears that threatened to fall; knowing full well that she had to be strong for what was left of her broken family.

The weather itself was perfect for the graveside funeral service: it was cloudy and not so cold to say the least. The minister had leaded the warriors there through a sermon and spoke of the warrior's life.

"May I ask the widow of the late Son Goku to offer a few words?" The priest questioned.

This was an unrehearsed part of the funeral that took Chi-chi by surprise. She did not really know what to say to those around her and she felt that if she said anything wrong, they might hold offence in her words. What felt like hours were only a few seconds to cross the grounds where the priest stood. Chi-chi cleared the lump in her throat; ready to give something that seemed harder to do than in her fight against Cell.

"Um… as you know…" Chi-chi started out nervously, "I always thought… that maybe I could have kept my husband safe and forbade him to fight after we were married. That in itself was completely… unwillingly against his nature. I later learned after what he had to go through… when his brother, Vegeta and his friend came to this planet… that my husband wasn't human at all…

"I felt uneasy about it for a long time… after that, I almost seemed like the kind of person a Saiya-jin shouldn't have married or even mated. Yet, he cared for me… almost though I was one of them all my life. Unlike those who tried to take Earth away, claim many innocent lives, Goku rose up and fought them off to protect everyone, including me. I almost felt guilty when… when I died back on Namek, he transformed into a Super Saiya-jin over my death… and he nearly pushed me away… it was when I reminded him of a promise…he came back to me. After those events while he was sick, I have told him he could forget the promise if he had to go.

"I feel guilty even now that I never let Gohan fight and made him study… had I known he would become a strong warrior one day… I would have let him trained. Yet, I was so ignorant… I thought that if he fought so much, he would end up like his father. I wanted better for him and it nearly claimed his life… for that, I'm sorry Gohan for forcing you to study too much."

Gohan looked up at his mother in surprise. It was almost though she was coming to terms that he wasn't normal. His mother continued to speak despite the warble in her voice. "I berated Goku to the point where Kakarrot had to show me differently. If it wasn't for him, we probably would have all perished… all life no longer standing where we are right now.

"That's why I thank my husband and mate, Son Goku and Kakarrot for putting their life at risk and gave me this chance to live in peace." Chi-chi felt the tears stinging her eyes after she finished that speech. After the last word left her mouth, the sunlight seeped through the clouds and fell upon her back. At that moment, it almost felt like her husband was embracing her from behind and thanking her for the encouraging words.

"Goodbye mother," Goten hugged his mother of the past. Chi-chi knew that her son from tomorrow had to go back to the future to stop the androids along with Trunks.

"Be careful. I love you Goten," Chi-chi murmured in his ear. She pulled away and looked at Trunks who was telling his own parents his goodbyes. "Trunks, watch over my son and keep him safe."

"I will!" Trunks smiled softly before the two warriors entered the time machine. Within a few moments, the time machine lifted off the ground slightly and vanished.

Chi-chi looked over at her infant son Goten and gently took him out of her father's arms. He was fast asleep and his tail gently wrapped around her arm.

'Goku, Kakarrot, you're both right. He should be a warrior if that's what he wants to be…' Chi-chi smiled softly at the baby that gently stirred in her arms; almost though he had heard his mother's thoughts.

"How long will you stand there watching the sky?" King Kai's voice drifted towards Goku as he stood there looking in the heavens on Grand Kai's planet. "I mean it's not going to change much."

"I'm just thinking about her," Goku admitted.

"Well, you're the one who didn't want to go back, so you shouldn't feel sorry that you made the sacrifice so she can live in peace." King Kai pointed out.

"I only pray that that peace lasts long enough for my sons to grow up," Kakarrot's accented voice came from the right of Goku suddenly. Both King Kai and Goku's eyes widened when they noticed Kakarrot had appeared out of nowhere. Like the last time, he was dressed in his armor and possessed a tail. Now with his death, he too sported a halo as he looked up at his kinder half from his laying position on the ground. "What?"

"How did you get your own body?" Goku freaked out.

"I guess I just wished for it and it happened like the last time." Kakarrot shrugged it off while sitting up.

"Is that even possible for you to exist outside of Goku's body like that?" King Kai had to adjust the sunglasses on his face to ensure that he wasn't seeing double.

"Maybe, but only in our current state," Kakarrot assumed. "I mean we had our own bodies when we visited Chi-chi in her dream…"

"That was a dream; this is when you're dead!" King Kai complained; praying that this was only a temporary thing.

Kakarrot moved slightly to the right of Goku and suddenly began to fade. "I suppose it's only a temporary thing…" The darker persona vanished and Goku felt and heard Kakarrot back inside of himself once more.

"I'm not even going to ask…" King Kai gave up trying to persuade Goku to train his body at that moment and left the area.

'Maybe I should have gone back…' Goku thought sadly to himself.

'We're doing it for the good of Earth. I'm sure she'll be fine without us…' Kakarrot's voice echoed reassuringly in his mind.

'I hope so…' Goku closed his eyes and released a sigh from his lips.

'Still, we should see about training. Even if we're dead, we should prepare if another threat comes close to our home.'

'Right.' The Earth-raised Saiya-jin's eyes opened again and he flew off in the direction that King Kai retreated a little earlier.

The tears ran down her face into the pillow as she held the necklace with the ring tightly in her hand. Gohan and Goten have long fallen asleep and it gave her the time to release the pain she carried since the funeral in the ivory pillow beneath her head.

'How will I survive without him… he was my strength… my reason to carry on…' Chi-chi thought silently to herself. She blamed Cell for her husband's untimely death. She almost wished that his death would bring Goku back; however, it left her a widow to her two sons that she and Goku had created and brought into this world.

'I wish I could have died…'

Days passed since the funeral. Gohan noticed his mother attempting to be strong, but he knew that she was crying inside from the pain of losing her husband and his father. She attempted to reassure Gohan with the fake smiles and the lies that the young warrior easily picked up as denial. This denial was killing her and he knew that she would need help.

As Chi-chi reached the door to their home after a day of shopping, she noticed that there was a book on the table for her. Curiosity overcame the female that forgot about the groceries and picked up the book that had nothing but blank lined pages in it. On the cover was a note:

Mom,

While you were out, I went and pulled out what allowance you gave me and went to a shop to buy you a journal. I think that maybe you might want to write down your thoughts if you don't want to talk about dad until you feel better. I'm sure he loves us and he's watching over us.

'Oh Gohan…' Chi-chi felt the tears rolling down her cheeks again. She noticed there was a bit more of the letter.

Please, use this. I don't want to hear you crying anymore. I know it hurts, but we can get through this together.

Gohan

'He's right though,' Chi-chi went and pulled a pen out from the cup resting on the counter. 'Maybe if I write out my pain, I will feel better and I won't feel like I am right now…' The sack of groceries fell and alarmed the female warrior; almost reminding her of what she had forgotten to do. 'After I put away the groceries of course.'

4 June 767

It had been days since my husband had perished to Cell's hands. I wish Goku and Kakarrot were here right now, but they had already made the decision to remain dead and I am sure that we will meet again someday.

Right now, I need to be here for Gohan and Goten. I already feel like I have abandoned Gohan too much during his life and want to be a better mother for him. I never want to do the same thing to Goten and make him feel the same way.

Goku, how can you be so strong when my heart's breaking? Kakarrot, did you influence him in some way that it was okay that you both died in a battle that ended your lives so easily?

Chi-chi put the diary down after writing her thoughts down. 'It's a start. It wasn't easy, but it's a start…' Almost on cue, Goten's wailing was heard. Chi-chi left the room; the diary temporarily forgotten.

To Be Continued…