Risk
Chapter 32
12 September 767
Kirin just asked me out for dinner and a movie. For the first time, I feel a bit hesitant about all of this. Am I really supposed to be enjoying life this much to be asked out by my counselor? It almost seems like dating is a form of cheating against my husband.
Goku, Kakarrot, is it alright for me to be doing this? I don't want you two to start hating me like you did in my nightmare.
"You should decline Kirin's offer to date him," a gruff voice spoke from behind Chi-chi.
"Piccolo, why? He's a nice guy." Chi-chi turned away from the mirror she was gazing in moments prior. She was wearing a white, silk shirt and black pants. Around her waist was a golden-chained belt that seemed to shine brightly. Around her neck hung the ring that she always treasured; a reminder of the sacrifice that had to be made.
"You're practically betraying your husband's wishes by doing this," Piccolo warned the female. "You ought to be ashamed. If you go out with Kirin, I swear you're blind to see what he might do to you."
"Piccolo, I'm an adult and I can do whatever I want, so butt out." Chi-chi snarled before slamming the window in Piccolo's face.
"Fine, then I sincerely hope you know you're making your husband and mate very unhappy…" Piccolo crooned before flying off; irritated as hell for Chi-chi's stubbornness.
'He doesn't know anything… how I feel… how I want someone to take away this sadness…' Chi-chi thought silently to herself. 'I wish life was simple…'
Around 7:30 that evening, there was a knock at the door. Chi-chi went down to answer it and saw Kirin there with roses. She took them gently with a blush on her face.
"These roses make you seem far more attractive this evening," Kirin complimented.
"Oh, thank you Kirin," Chi-chi exclaimed before putting them aside on the counter. She would tend to them later. "So, where are we going?"
"I wish to surprise you," Kirin pulled out a blindfold before tying it behind her head. He escorted her out to the limo that waited for her outside.
As the night wore on, Kirin treated Chi-chi like a queen and serenaded the young female warrior with what seemed to be the perfect candlelight dinner. As the evening progressed, they went to see a romantic movie that made Chi-chi cry and remember the good times she had with her husband and mate. After the movie had finished, Kirin walked Chi-chi to the front door of her house.
"I had a great time tonight Kirin…" Chi-chi smiled softly; feeling awkward around this man who treated her like she was his world.
"So did I," Kirin returned the smile before moving forward. The shawl she wore around her shoulder fell to the ground as she felt his lips pressed against her own. For a brief moment, she was frozen in place before pulling away; ending the moment between them rather abruptly.
"I'm sorry, but my heart belongs to Goku and Kakarrot!" Chi-chi exclaimed in fear. "I… I can't love you like that Kirin…"
"So I assume you're not interested in another date?" Kirin questioned quizzically.
"I… I need to think about it…" Chi-chi grabbed her shawl and went inside; closing the door behind her in a rush.
"I assumed you'd probably say something like that my dear…" Kirin spoke in a dark tone while holding a single hair in his hand. 'I will do everything I can to make you love me… even if I have to use dark magic…'
13 September 767
I probably committed the worst sin being a widow: I let Kirin kiss me after our first date. I would be more comfortable if this was the fifth or sixth date, but I don't love him like I love Goku and Kakarrot. It's too complicated to even explain why I didn't try to push him away.
What should I do? I want to give him another chance, but I'm worried that he might take advantage of me.
Chi-chi bit her lip before sliding the journal underneath the pillow. Truth be told, she felt more self-conscious since the end of the date with Kirin and she really did not want to give him another chance. Despite his loyalty, she felt like she was being treated like a doll instead of a fighter.
'I really wish things weren't so complicated…'
'She will love me…' Kirin pressed the hair into the voodoo-like doll that represented her. 'All I would need to do is slowly, but surely bend her to my will… even if it means implanting desires into her mind that she wouldn't think of…'
On the table, a crystal ball mirrored Chi-chi fast asleep before Kirin gently touched the doll's face. In the ball, Chi-chi nuzzled against the odd, invisible touch.
4 October 767
Recently, I had a strange dream of a male's voice and his hand caressing my cheek. He would tell me how beautiful and perfect I am and when I open my eyes, I would still feel his hand rubbing against my cheek from time to time.
Maybe Kirin's right; maybe I should give him another chance.
Besides, what's the worst that could happen?
"What made you change your mind about going out with me?" Kirin questioned.
"I… I did some thinking and I do feel lonely…" Chi-chi admitted. They were both on the beach watching the ocean waves crash into the shore. They had enjoyed the afternoon in the surf and sand and were watching the sun set. She wore a black one-piece swimsuit and he wore a pair of gray boxer shorts.
"Is that all you feel?" Kirin looked at Chi-chi with a curious look in his eyes.
"Well, there's also something else…" Chi-chi blushed slightly, "but maybe we should call it a day."
"Yeah… I think we should call it a day…" Kirin agreed. Chi-chi gathered the small bag of shells she collected. She followed him back to the car so that they could return home with their bounty.
30 December 767
Lately, I have been starting to develop feelings to Kirin. Is it really love or lust? I don't really know anymore since we've been dating now for three months and my heart still pines for Goku and Kakarrot.
Would it be a sin to go against the vows of marriage and continue pursuing this? I know 'until death do we part', but I can't spend the rest of my life as a widow to two wonderful sons who mean the world to me.
I just hope that nightmare doesn't come to pass. I would be pleading to any Kami or Kai for forgiveness…
Kirin and Chi-chi had left a wonderful opera. For the first time, Chi-chi let him hold her hand despite her discomfort months ago.
"Mind taking us home?" Kirin questioned.
"Of course, hold on a…" Chi-chi started to say.
"Well, well, well, looks like a couple ended up in the wrong side of town…" a male voice piped up. Dark, baritone laughter was heard and Chi-chi stiffened. She saw five thugs with various weapons.
"Give us your money or the bitch gets it…" the second male warned.
"O-of course…" Kirin began to pull out his wallet; however, one holding the gun fell suddenly to the ground. The thugs were stunned when they noticed him fall and began to grow nervous.
"What the hell just hap…?" the third thug was sent into a wall and the remaining thugs still standing began to grow nervous.
"I don't think we're giving you money if your men are falling…" Chi-chi glanced at Kirin.
"Uh… run!" The three remaining thugs retreated and Chi-chi cracked her knuckles from the workout.
"Hm… my champion …" Kirin leaned in and kissed Chi-chi on the lips. For the first time since their first date, Chi-chi responded to the kiss; a pleasant moan escaped her lips.
'Good, she's starting to fall in love with me… it shouldn't be long now…' Kirin thought darkly.
Three months. It had been three months since Goku had last heard from Kakarrot. The split personality that resided within the Earth-raised Saiya-jin had not uttered one word and daily, Goku attempted to have his darker persona speak again to reassure that he wasn't going insane. It was all for nothing, and the longer he remained quiet, the more maddening the whole thing would become.
'Please say something Kakarrot!' Goku begged the voice for what felt like the thousandth time since the day Kakarrot had stopped his rapports to the Earth-raised Saiya-jin. 'Look, I'm sorry…'
'…sorry? You're sorry?' Kakarrot's voice growled angrily; this being the first words the darker persona ever dare utter since his sudden long period of silence had begun. It was at that moment the Earth-raised Saiya-jin suddenly felt vertigo. The very word 'sorry' triggered something that Goku couldn't nor wouldn't be able to explain for a long time afterwards.
When the odd sensation passed, Goku had found himself on an alien landscape lying on top of what felt like a rough patch of land. Sitting up, he noticed coppery sand under his body that shifted slightly when he moved around. Rising to his feet, he walked under the maroon-tinted sky with two orange suns blazing brightly in the sky. For the moment, he was entirely confused about where he was and kept wandering in one direction; hoping for some sort of sign. During the rough traveling he did, he soon saw someone standing in the distance.
As the Earth-raised Saiya-jin drew closer, he realized who it was.
'Kakarrot!' Goku thought with utter bewilderment on his face.
The forgotten warrior stood there with a scowl on his face; looking irritated and tiredly at the Earth-raised Saiya-jin. It was almost though he had been left out in the desert-like place to die, yet managed to survive the ordeal somehow unscathed. After a few moments of acknowledging each other's presence, Kakarrot began to walk towards a rocky outcrop; leaving Goku standing there blinking a few times before retreating after the darker persona.
"Wait! Where are we going?" Goku followed Kakarrot; questioning to himself that this wasn't the Grand Kai's planet or any planet he could remember. It was almost though Kakarrot himself had willed this place into being.
"A place you should have known, but never even paid heed to it," the persona snapped at Goku rather aggressively without ever once turning. The naïve warrior said nothing more to the agitated Saiya-jin and followed quietly rather confused. Kakarrot slid down into the crater. Not wanting to be left behind, Goku followed; curious as to what laid ahead.
Upon reaching the bottom of the slope, Goku gasped out loud when he saw a glowing white crystal hovering over the desert floor. Inside were images of Chi-chi's life during the last eight months; with three of months with her dating Kirin. An unspoken urge to kill began to fill the Earth-raised Saiya-jin and it was rather scary to say the least.
"Do you see why I'm angry now?" Kakarrot asked his naïve persona while Goku trembled from the unnatural desire. He had only felt that back when Frieza killed Chi-chi, but now, it was magnified; far worse than anything he could ever imagine.
The very emotions of unbridled fury raged within the very fiber of his being. It had taken several minutes to calm down from these intense feelings that threatened to overburden his soul. He hated feeling like he needed to do something that his Saiya-jin blood wanted; yet, it seemed Kakarrot was reflecting those same primal urges and made it harder to ignore. Wearily, he looked at the crystal again and felt more confused than he ever thought he would be at this point.
"W-what is this?" Goku reached out and touched it. With a single touch, Goku felt different emotions wash over his body that he was forced to take it on all at once. He felt eight months worth of negative emotions ranging from depression, anger, guilt and yes, even anxiety and fear. Then, he felt a hint of pleasure and love that was directed towards another person; one that made the Earth-raised Saiya-jin growl jealously at.
Once more, those undesirable emotions returned and it threatened to erase every good emotion the kind-hearted warrior held sacred. Kakarrot stood there unscathed and seemingly used to these emotions compared to the naïve counterpart. At least he wasn't over reacting to it as bad as Goku was at that moment.
"The answer to the question and the reason I am still pissed off." Kakarrot bluntly retorted.
"Why didn't you show me this before?" Goku looked at Kakarrot in confusion; half-angry that Kakarrot was attempting to keep a secret from him. The negative emotions were still raging within him, but he was attempting to keep them at bay.
"Your mind was closed to the truth." Kakarrot explained. "You assumed that everything was peaceful and good on Earth when it was not the case. Now that you know and are aware of this truth, what will you do now?"
"I… I want to…" Goku hesitated. Kakarrot placed a hand on Goku's shoulder rather roughly.
"…you need to save her. If you don't, I swear I will never speak to you ever again or offer you the strength you desire," Kakarrot growled the threat. It was a threat that the Earth-raised Saiya-jin couldn't take lightly for if he did, he would lose everything and everyone he held dear; even the one he loved.
"I will help her…" Goku confirmed; grasping the hand that fell on his shoulder.
Suddenly, an overwhelming sensation filled Goku and he felt power flood though his being. The negative emotions seemed to strengthen as Goku shuttered in utter discomfort from this odd sensation filling his body. As the new power raged within the warrior, he noticed Kakarrot had vanished. In confusion, he turned and looked back towards the crystal and gasped.
Within the smooth reflection for a fluttering moment, he saw a long-haired golden warrior looking back at him; his facial features obscured by a blinding light. This mysterious, long-haired warrior gave him a trusting nod before the crystal along with the landscape faded.
The golden aura flickered as Goku looked around in confusion and realized that he hadn't left Grand Kai's planet at all. Allowing the transformation to leave him, he found himself breathing harder than he ever thought possible. He heard his heart thundering in his ears and the sweat dripping down his brow like he had been running miles with no rest.
'Wh-what was that feeling?' Goku thought silently; remembering the last part of the vision. 'Was that… Super Saiya-jin 3?'
Once more, Kakarrot did not answer him. It was almost though he had never spoken in the first place nor dragged the Earth-raised Saiya-jin within that world within his mind. Growing weary and frustrated of attempting to talk to the darker persona, Goku decided for the moment to concentrate his efforts in training again.
'I need to find that power… if I need to protect her… then I will find it… even if… even if I have to go against death itself…' Goku thought to himself before sliding into a fighting stance.
Silently, Kakarrot agreed with the Earth-raised Saiya-jin before leaving the warrior to his own devices.
To Be Continued…