500 Days of Genesis
Day 400
Ahhh, I hate my life. Tomorrow is the day I dread the most.
Day 401
I'm now 22. I'm old!
Day 402
Who the fuck told Zack, Angeal, Genesis, Sephiroth and all the Turks that it was my birthday? Whoever it was… you are a dead man.
Yes, I'm talking about you Zack.
Day 403
Well the only good thing about my birthday is that I got to beat up Zack and Reno as a gift. I love having first class soldiers as my best buds.
Day 404
Now it's back to normal. I still have to figure out what to do with Alicebeth though. I wonder, do you think she'll notice if I throw her clothes out of my window?
Day 405
Can I just kick her out? Naw, probably not… She'd probably still stay here and take all of my food.
Day 406
I didn't expect this at all! I got a birthday party and I even got to use Reno and Zack as a piñata. Except, they didn't have candy.
Day 407
I hate hiccups! During my party I was with Genesis and then we were talking and it seemed like he was about to kiss me when-
I got hiccups.
Damn my hiccups! You ruined such a pretty moment. Aww, fuck. I'm hiccupping again!
Day 408
Funny I just got a prank call from someone who claimed to be my mother and who said that they were coming over to Midgar to see how I was doing.
What a bad joke.
Day 409
….turns out it's not a joke. Oh Gaia, help me please.
Day 410
Oh no…. it's a family reunion. My dear mother is here.
Gaia, I hate my life. Well, actually I hate my family even more.
Day 411
My mother is here and she's just finished criticizing me for how I run my life and asking me why I haven't gotten a boyfriend yet and gotten married and all those wonderful things.
Someone shoot me NOW!
Day 412
I'm getting a migraine and it hurts like- there aren't even words to describe how I feel. That's it I'm going to the office, facing a drunk and horny Reno is better than my mother.
Day 413
I wonder if I can sleep in the Shinra building….at least that would save me from my mother.
Day 414
Has the world started coming to an end? Genesis was actually nice to me! He asked me why I was so sad so I told him all about my mother and how she keeps trying to get me to find someone because she's convinced that I'm going to die alone.
And guess what he did….
He offered to be my pretend boyfriend.
Day 415
Ok, how do I break this to my mom. I have a boyfriend. Who's in soldier and is my boss.
You know that sounds so bad. Never mind the fact that my mother hates soldiers.
Day 416
Well, I just had a somewhat mother daughter moment and just as I was about to explain Genesis to my mother when Alicebeth bursts in and tells my mom about Genesis.
On the bright side- mom knows about Genesis now. Not so bright side- she wants to meet him as soon as possible.
Day 417
I feel sorry for Genesis. He has to face the wrath of my mother.
Day 418
When I told Genesis about the things my mother has done to all my past boyfriends she felt weren't good enough for me, I swear he paled..
I find it sad that he can charge into battle like it's the most natural thing in the world and yet he's afraid of my mother. One of life's little mysteries.
Day 419
My mother wants to meet my friends. When she meets Zack she's going to have a heart attack.
I need to tell him to lay off of the sugar.
Day 420
Dinner tomorrow night with Genesis, Sephiroth, Angeal and Zack.
This ought to be interesting
Day 421
Forget interesting, this dinner was just a mess. By end of this Sephiroth had wanted to slice up my mother with masamuse. Angeal looked like he wanted the puppy to have an off button and Zack asked for more pie.
Three frikken times. Only Genesis looked normal. Well actually he looked like he was hoping something bad didn't happen.
That made two of us.
Day 422
My mother kept telling me that she was….surprised is to put it mildly, to see me have so many male friends and not a single girl friend.
Why did mothers have to be so picky?
She also told me she didn't like Genesis' hair.
Day 423
My mother is worse than I thought! She thought Sephiroth was my "boyfriend" gee no wonder why she didn't like his hair. She's probably jealous of how awesome it is! Now I have to explain to her that Genesis is my "boyfriend".
Day 424
So I explained it to her and now we're all one big happy bunch…. She wants to meet him. I have a feeling this is not going to go well….AT ALL!
Why couldn't my family be normal?
Day 425
Tomorrow is the dinner. Oh Gaia, please show me a little bit of love and let it go really boring and uneventful….please!
Day 426
Gaia, you must really have it out for me.
Day 427
Let me give you a quick recap of last night's events. Genesis had a little incident in the training room leaving his usual outfit a little burnt meaning he had to use something of Sephiroth's. Turns out all Sephy has is black so of course my mother had to criticize Genesis on how he looked like he was going to a funeral. Then we get to the restaurant and one of Genesis' ex girlfriends recognizes him. Not cool.
Then the masterpiece! My mother insulted Banora apples. She criticized the chef for making what she called, " a disgrace to apple pies everywhere". It was Banoran apple pie. She basically insulted Genesis.
You hate me Gaia don't you, just admit it.
Day 428
You still haven't admitted it.
Day 429
Nope, you still are in denial! Admit it- you hate me! What did I do wrong?
Day 430
Ok, maybe you don't hate me. Genesis came over to my house with a bouquet of roses and although the gesture is quite nice, I'm actually allergic. But still I still kept them even if it means I'll keep sneezing.
Day 431
Still sneezing…. Maybe I will get rid of all of the flowers.
Nah, I'll keep one.
Day 432
Well today I fell like the complete klutz I am. Fell right into Genesis' arms. Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?
Day 433
Zack's been acting strange lately. Last time I saw him like this it was because Sephy took his candy and flushed it down the toilet.
Sephiroth better not have done something as mean as that again!
Day 434
The puppy's been busy moping…Poor little puppy, his girlfriend broke up with him. Stupid little puppy, he's going drinking to "forget his troubles". Reno's such a bad influence.
Day 435
I don't know if I should go drinking with Zack or spend the night with my mother.
That one answers itself
Day 436
I feel like shit….I should have never gone with Zack drinking. I'm going to spend the entire day next to the toilet puking.
The sad part is, I didn't even drink alcohol.
Day 437
Oh no. It's the end of my life. My mother is busy lecturing Genesis because she thinks I'm pregnant.
Oh Gaia, kill me now!
Day 438
Genesis is a keeper. Being able to keep his cool while my mother tried to lecture him on having safe sex. To think it could have all been avoided if I hadn't been puking all over the floor and complaining that I was dying.
Zack, please start running.
* Note to self- remember to never go drinking with Zack…. I just HAD to learn the hard way.
Day 439
I couldn't find Zack today. Hmmm….I wonder why.
He just texted me saying he's still hung-over. Zack, you're such a liar!
Day 440
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire! No quite literally. I told Genesis it was Zack who was responsible for the little lecture my mom gave him. Now Zack is being chased by a very angry Genesis.
And yes, Zack's pants are on fire.
Day 441
Well the puppy got out of it alive but only because Angeal stopped laughing for long enough to restrain Genesis.
Day 442
Well, now I'm not able to even look Genesis in the eyes. I feel so embarrassed, Gaia!
That's not fair….
Day 443
Well after a long talk with Genesis (It was in a janitor's closet because Angeal and Sephiroth couldn't think of a better place) we're now over that little awkward situation my mother put us in.
I can't wait until she has to go back to Costa Del Sol with Alicebeth.
Day 444
Ok so we're cool now and that….. But we're still nothing. Just a little more than friends but nothing else. Men are so confusing…..
Day 445
I just had a very strange little day dream. What if I had kids with Genesis??????? O.O That would be soooooo weird.
I really need to get my work done instead of daydreaming.
Day 446
Yeah, I hope no one except for me ever reads this because yesterday's little…..dream is something that's going to haunt me for a while now.
On a better note, my mother's leaving tomorrow! Yes! Isn't that just the greatest news ever!
Day 447
Happiest day of my sorry life! My mother is leaving. I bet you somewhere, people in the life stream are singing.
At least I am, even if it is off key and horrible.
Day 448
Yes! My mother is gone along with my horrible twin! Yes!
I'm finally free! Free! Free!
Shit, I fell. Huh, I have one missed call from…..Holy Lifestream! It's from Genesis!
Day 449
Guess who's going out to dinner tomorrow night?
Me, that's who! And guess with who?
A gorgeously hot and awesome redheaded Loveless quoting SOLDIER. I guess that just gave it away….
Day 450-
He kissed me and then I giggled like the immature hopeless romantic I am.
Then I said I love you.
I don't know who was happier, me or him. It still felt good though.
I know I didn't update like I always do but I had a really bad case of writer's block, that and the flu. Well now that I'm better here's your update.
*Sigh* this is the second to the last chapter. Now I need to find a way to make it awesomely awesome…any ideas?
Anyways, there's a little story behind 437 and 438. It involves my older sister Emilee who came back from her second year at college with a new boyfriend. Well she had eaten something bad and I don't remember what it was but it made her puke nonstop and my mom thought she was pregnant. Well that was a family reunion we'll never forget…. Anyways that was what gave me the random idea of putting that in there. That and trying to see Genesis act like dad….can you imagine that?!
Well on that strange note, I leave you all. Until next week-hopefully! In the meantime go do something productive like leaving me a review. Then go hug a tree because even trees deserve lots of love
-Joey AM