Sailor Moon/BtVS crossover drabble
"Men are from Earth, you women are from where!"
(tentative title, subject to change, suggestions welcome)
"Yeah Giles. I checked out that place you wanted me to and it looks like it'll do alright." Xander said as he exited the front door of an abandoned mansion, "Just needs a few touch ups here and there to bring it up to code then Willow can use her mojo on the place to make it Council friendly."
"Excellent. With the demonic community beginning a counterattack of sorts against the sudden rise in Slayers it is essentially that those called in Japan have a branch of the Council to support them in their struggle." Giles replied sounding quite relieved that the matter of location in the country had been settled on.
It had been something both he and the G-Man had been expecting ever since Willow had first cast the spell using the scythe to awaken every potential in the world. Like the Watcher of the old order he knew that the world worked on a system of balances the most important being the balance between good and evil. There was a reason why evil was never completely eliminated and good always seemed to catch a break just in the nick of time and it wasn't due to some higher or lower beings. The balance between the light and the dark was hardwired into the universe to prevent it from being destroyed since that would be the result if good or evil ever succeeded in wiping out the other. While he was sure the rest of the gang knew that there'd be some retaliation from the demons of the world he doubted very much they knew how massive the payback would be. For the Slayer population to go from two to well over two hundred would mean some massive metaphorical counterweights being added to the side of evil to balance things out.
Which means we have to get our act together sooner rather than later. He thought as he walked down the street towards a newspaper vending machine.
"Definitely. So I'll stick around until the usual compliment of neo-Watchers show up to take charge then head back your way." He said since he was eager to get back and see the gang again.
"Y-yes… well… that might not be such a good idea Xander." Giles said with reluctance and concern in his voice.
"What's the what G-Man?" Xander asked knowing that the elder Watcher only stuttered like that when he was upset.
"It would seem a secret of yours has come out here at the main branch of the new Council." Giles replied as he tried to steel himself, "Apparently when Willow and Buffy were together reminiscing about old times the topic of the Acathla affair came up and… well… the mission Willow had assigned you at the hospital was told."
"Damn." Xander muttered as he could just imagine the reaction the blonde Slayer would have to his substituting 'stall Angel' with 'kick his butt'.
"Quite. Naturally she is in a very foul mood where you are concerned and has taken to venting her feelings on anyone who speaks your name or reminds her of you." Giles stated agreeing with the one-eyed carpenter's appraisal of the situation, "Therefore I think it would be in your best interests to remain in Japan for awhile until her temper blows over."
"By 'awhile' you mean a couple of years don't you?" Xander asked as he figured it would take about that long for his blonde buddy's temper to cool off.
"Yes. Therefore I am making you the head Watcher for the Japanese branch of the Council." Giles replied believing his surrogate son's estimate was accurate, "While there are quite few recruits to replace those Watchers lost in the battle with the First none of them have your experience battling the supernatural. It needn't be permanent of course, once you have suitably trained one of your new subordinates he or she can take over the position if you so desire."
"Well I guess I cou—" Xander began to reply but he was cut off by Giles before he could say more.
"Splendid. I'll have my assistant make all the arrangements and have your new position entered into the Council's records." Giles said obviously trying to get everything he had to say out quickly before the new head of the Japan branch could react, "The new Watchers should all be there inside of two months and the Japanese Slayers will arrive about three to four weeks after that. Good luck Xander! I know you'll do me proud!"
With that there was a click clearly stating that one Rupert Giles had hung up on him without giving him any chance to finish his sentence much less argue the older man's decision. A little annoyed he hit the redial button on his phone but when he put his cell to his ear all he got was the annoying busy signal that was universally present in all telephones. Pacing back and forth over the next few minutes he tried five more times with varying amounts of minutes between attempts to get Giles on the phone but to no avail. Grumbling he snapped his cell phone shut a little harder than was necessary and headed in the direction of the newspaper vending machine. Obviously the tweed wearing Watcher had planned this conversation from the moment Buffy started to go on a rampage and knew the former Zeppo well enough to take his phone off the hook immediately after hanging up on him. He knew he could try Willow or maybe Faith but that would risk calling them while Buffy was in the room and she'd probably burn out the phone with her ranting session.
Guess I got no choice but to accept that I'm stuck in the land of the rising sun for the next few years. Xander thought with a sigh as he slipped the correct amount of change into the vending machine, That means a job and a place to stay until the mansion is repaired and remodeled enough to support human life.
Despite the removal of the top two thirds of the old Council and the varying amounts of freedom that such an act brought with it the New Council was still stretched rather thin. Not surprising when the original council was only designed to support one Slayer and her Watcher at a time while the various potentials were supported solely on their assigned Watcher's paycheck. As such the Scoobies were more than a little discouraged when they took a look at the sum of the old Council's holdings and compared it to the estimated price of running the New Council. To say that there was a gap would be the mother of all understatements. Thus the New Council's efforts had been split in two: Part A) would focus on creating new and safe ways of generating the necessary funds needed to support over two hundred Slayers and their Watchers while Part B) would do their duty and make the demons of the world duck and cover in terror. It had taken awhile but last he checked there was almost a solid financial base in place and hopefully a year from now the New Council could return the majority of its manpower and resources to saving the world from demonic threats.
So without any money from the Council to support him until the mansion was finished he would have to look for cash and a room the old fashioned way. Pulling out a copy of the Japanese Times he flipped through to the 'WANT' ads in the hopes of finding some sort of job that wasn't bottom of the barrel like a fast food restaurant but not beyond his current abilities either. It was times like these that he really hated that inbred hick of a preacher Caleb for poking out his eye that night at the vineyard. Before then he had been a damn good carpenter with a promising career and a steady paycheck coming in every second week. Now though, with his depth perception gone, the opportunities for employment were at best half of what they'd been before (no pun intended). Taking a red pen from his pocket he began to review the various ads looking for something that combined both what he needed and what he could do without much trouble. Motorcycle mechanic? Nah! He hadn't even been able to keep his Uncle Rory's antique running for very long and even with half the number of wheels a bike would still be impossible. Apprentice cook? Not a chance. If the address for applicants was accurate than the restaurant was both owned and run by a former Iron Fist Tournament champion with something of a short fuse when it came to food. No way was he going to risk getting the crap beat out of him no matter how good the pay looked like on paper.
Hmmmm. Groundskeeper at Hikawa shrine. Room and food provided. Xander thought as he read an ad that looked promising, Must be a hard worker and willing to take on temporary additional duties as needed. Apply in person at 199 Cherry Tree Avenue.
The job seemed to be ideal as it would give him a place to stay as well as a half decent salary if he was reading the bottom of the ad right. Add to that the fact that it was essentially manual labor and didn't exactly require depth perception and there was a good chance he'd get the job. His destination decided he started walking to the nearest bus stop where he hoped to find a map as well as instructions in which buses to take to get to the shrine.
Hikawa Shrine, 199 Cherry Tree Avenue, One Hour LaterWow! Xander thought as he looked over the grounds of the shrine he'd be tending if he got the job.
No stranger to holy places the former Zeppo was still amazed at the sight before him as the property before him was definitely a step up from a church or monastery. In all his travels doing various jobs for the Council he had seen many temples, churches and other religious buildings since they were sources of sanctuary against the demons of the world. This however was his first time seeing a Shinto shrine in Japan and he had to say it was a definite step up from the other examples of holy ground he had set foot on. Most of the other examples of holy ground he had been on in the past had seemed cold and harsh to him. This place however had a balance of sorts between the buildings and the vegetation that he found pretty refreshing.
Deciding he'd better find someone who could take him to the head priest so he could apply for the job he looked around the property for any sign of life. It took him two passes but eventually head detected the sounds of someone sweeping just out of sight on the far side of the property. Figuring that was as good a place to start looking as any he headed towards the sound hoping that he hadn't arrived at the shrine only to find that the grounds keeper position had already been filled. As he turned the corner and walked clear of the building that had been blocking his vision from the stairs out front he came upon another perk to the job if he wound up getting hired. Dressed in a standard miko uniform and sweeping leaves into a pile was a young woman of about seventeen or eighteen years of age with long straight black hair and a face that said 'fiery yet calm' to him. Too bad he was at least four or five years older than her otherwise he'd definitely be trying to get up the courage to ask her out later. Since she was a couple of years younger than him though he was immediately fixing her in the 'friend/acquaintance/sister' category before he got too tempted and wound up copying Deadboy.
"Excuse me? Could you tell me where I'd find the head priest?" he asked in barely passable Japanese.
It had been one of the first things he'd done the night he'd arrived in Japan. Using a pair of amulets and a complete English/Japanese dictionary he had managed to 'download' the language into his brain while he slept. However having the knowledge and being able to apply it properly were two completely different things as he learned painfully the first week of his visit. It had only been in the last day or so that he had managed to speak the language properly so he was still a bit rusty around the edges and most definitely had an accent.
"Why do you want to see Grandpa?" the miko asked in a confident but wary voice.
"I'm here about the want ad in the paper for a grounds keeper." Xander replied as he tried to look as non-threatening as possible, "Do you know if the position is still open?"
It felt wrong for his mouth to be speaking so properly and without a trace of Californian slang but the English/Japanese dictionary had only contained the basics. If he wanted to learn some of the more informal and slang oriented aspects of the Japanese language he was going to have to do it on his own. In any case the miko in front of him appeared satisfied by his answer as the wariness in her eyes dispersed.
"It is still available last I checked." The miko replied as she motioned for him to follow her, "I will take you to Grandpa and you can discuss the matter with him. I have to warn you though that he's somewhat… eccentric so please be patient with him."
"Of course." He said not trusting anything else he might say not to offend the young woman.
Five minutes later they entered a large room devoid of any furniture that he recognized with a large fire at the opposite end of the room. Judging from the various ornaments and such arranged around it he guessed it had to be some kind of sacred fire or something. Kneeling in front of it and mumbling what he assumed were prayers of some kind was a tiny old man that looked to be even shorter than Buffy if that was possible. He looked to be in his late fifties or early sixties but likely still had some spring in his step if it was only his granddaughter and him running the place. Mentally he figured the guy was probably a Mr. Miyagi or maybe a Japanese version of Giles in terms of behavior or personality.
The man stopped praying as he likely heard the door open and turned to see who it was that had disturbed him.
"Hey Rei! Who's this? You're new boyfriend?" the man, the miko's grandfather, asked as though he was one of those cliché female gossipmongers.
So much for my delusions about meeting a wise Japanese priest. Xander thought as he barely managed to avoid rolling his eyes, At least he's not like Miroku in that Anime InuYasha.
"NO! Grandpa! He's here about the grounds keeper job!" the miko exclaimed in obvious embarrassment at her grandfather's questions, "You know, the one that Yuichiro botched? The reason we had to let him go?"
"Oh yeah! Well come in, come in!" the head priest replied with sudden recollection but still was jovial and energetic as before, "Sit down and tell me why you think you should be given this job."
"Sure." Xander said glad that the talking was moving onto a safer subject.
One Week Later, Hikawa Shrine, 199 Cherry Tree Avenue, Around MidnightI'm beginning to think that the only place sage Shinto priests exist is in history books and the movies. Xander thought as he tried once again to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in.
He had gotten the job as grounds keeper within an hour of the start of the interview and had been given a tour of the grounds by the miko whose name he learned was Rei. Along the way she explained the particulars of what he was supposed to do in which spot and how things were supposed to look whenever he completed his assigned chore. He paid close attention and made sure that he remembered exactly what he had to do so he wouldn't mess it up the next day and get fired. When the tour had finished he was handed a light blue hakama and a white haori and told to get to work by Rei who then stalked off in a huff most likely remembering her Grandpa's words from earlier and wanted to have a word with him.
That had been a week ago and aside from the occasional exposure to Rei's fiery temper every now and again he actually found himself enjoying the honest hard work. After traveling the world for so long finding awakened Slayers and looking for places to set up branches of the New Watcher's Council it was nice to get back to normal life. Nothing but simple chores all day and nothing abnormal attacking him or asking him out on a date day or night. About the only gripe he had with the place was the tendency for Grandpa Hino to act like a hormonal teenage guy whenever high school girls came to the shrine to pray or buy good luck charms. It reminded him all too often of some of the embarrassing attempts he and Jesse had made back in their first year at Sunnydale High School to impress their female classmates. Thankfully he had matured since then and no longer tried to act like 'Mr. Cool' in the presence of a woman he liked. Mostly.
There were a few regular visitors to the shrine that were apparently friends of Rei's and unfortunately for him at least two were starting to act like girls with a crush around him. One was Lita Kino a tall, well…endowed brunette that looked like she would fit right in with a group of Slayers and no one would know she wasn't one of the Chosen. She was the more blunt of the two and only seemed to have a vague idea of what the word 'subtle' meant judging by how the questions she asked him would be useful for a future date. The other was Mina Aino who while having blonde hair like the pigtailed Serena was definitely the more mature of the two. As far as her crush on him went she seemed content to let Lita stumble through her 'subtle' Q&A to profit from the answers and only asked him anything when she thought Lita had left something out. Both visited every day since first meeting him and occasionally helped him with his chores but that was likely just a useful cover so they could talk/flirt with him. So far he was able to stay polite and not say anything to encourage them or hurt them one way or the other but he knew it was only a matter of time until they stepped up their efforts to date him.
At least they're a step up from all the demon women I attracted back in Sunnydale. Xander thought as he laid on his back on the futon and looked up at the ceiling of his room.
Of course that thought was immediately squashed when he reminded himself about their ages and how he'd be walking in the footsteps of Deadboy if he didn't watch his step. At least the rest of the young women were not going to be a problem as they were either already spoken for or had no interest in guys for various reasons. For Amy Anderson it was the simple fact that she was more in love with knowledge and learning than any 'mere boy' so she never treated him as anything other than an acquaintance. Serena Tsukino was apparently dating some guy named Darien and judging from the way she acted at the mere mention of his name it was clear she was hooked on the guy. Michiru Kaioh was apparently a lesbian like Willow and was firmly in a relationship with the ultimate tomboy Haruka Tenoh although they were unwilling to get too steamy in public. Next was a Setsuna Meioh who looked to be the oldest of the entire bunch, maybe even a university student, but she was somewhat cold in how she acted. It was only the final member of the group that seemed to get an emotional reaction out of her. This one person was Rini Tsukino and one could easily tell that she and Serena were related just on looks alone. They certainly acted like sisters some of the time with one always picking on the other but those that knew them could tell they didn't mean the hurtful things they said to one another. It was mostly due to the help of these women that he managed to get any breaks from Lita and Mina's crush inspired antics.
I'll just have to endure it for a few months. Xander thought as he mentally estimated when everything would be ready at the Japanese branch of the Council, No problem.
Just as he felt like he was about to nod off to dreamland the ground shook like a mild earthquake and the sound of one of the shrine walls exploding reached his ears. Sitting up quickly as though someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on him he quickly got to his feet and pulled a short sword from his bag by the wall. It had been something of a problem to sneak his weapons onto the shrine without being spotted but once there he had hidden a number of them at strategic positions all over the place. After all just because the place was holy ground didn't mean that a demon couldn't still step onto it if it was powerful enough to endure the sacred energies therein. Clad only in a pair of sweats and his eye-patch he walked stealthily to the door leading to the courtyard and slid it open just enough to let him peek outside. What he saw was something both ridiculous but at the same time serious given the amount of destruction that was taking place.
Engaged in battle with something that looked like a cross between a supermodel and an unruly house plant were nine women of varying ages and one guy in formal wear including a top hat and cane. The women, as insane as it may sound, were dressed in super hero costumes based heavily on those sailor outfits that a lot of the high schools insisted their female students wear as school uniforms. Of course where the uniforms were perfectly decent and suitable for a learning environment the costumes these ladies were wearing were designed to show off their lithe figures especially the legs. That was the ridiculous part of what he was seeing. The dangerous part was that both sides of the fight showed time and time again that they were capable of devastating physical and magical attacks. Fire, water, lightning, light and other elements both natural and arcane were used by the nine women while their enemy's follow a more plant styled theme. Between the two of sides the grounds of the shrine were being battered and blown to pieces which, with a groan, he knew he'd be the one to clean up in the morning.
Who are these idiots and why did they have to bring their fight here? Xander thought as settled on plant lady as the one that needed to be taken down.
"Sailor Venus! Look out!" yelled one of the ladies with red being a key colour in her costume.
"Thanks Mars!" 'Sailor Venus' yelled back after barely managing to dodge a barrage of exploding pinecones.
'Sailor Venus'? 'Mars'? Xander thought as he tried to remember where he had seen those names before.
Then it hit him.
It had been his first week in Japan and he had decided to get a feel for the local weirdness and so picked up an assortment of newspapers and tabloids. Most of the gang back home thought he was nuts for thinking that he could gain any useful information from something that talked about 'love children' and 'alien visitors' most of the time. However just like Agent K from the movie 'Men in Black' he knew that it was in the tabloids that the majority of the stories about demons and the supernatural wound up. No reputable mainstream newspaper would even think of putting a story about demons on the front page regardless of whether or not the reporter had evidence to back it up. That was because they knew that as far as the majority of the world was concerned vampires, demons and magic didn't exist and would not believe any claims to the contrary. It had been there that he had seen, and partially read, the story about the Sailor Senshi and the monsters they fought.
At first he thought they might have been newly awakened Slayers but according to what he had been able to find out they had been active in Tokyo well before the battle with the First. The next possibility that came to mind was that they were magic users of some kind but given the destruction their attacks were capable of and the lack of potions or talismans that theory got shot down too. Eventually though he wrote the group of super heroines off as either the product of an over imaginative mind or promotional work for a new TV show or movie. After all the descriptions of the Senshi's appearances and the monsters they fought were just too outrageous to be true. Short-short mini-skirts? Big feminine bows? Enemies that looked like they belonged on a Power Rangers show? Even for someone who grew up in Sunnydale it was too weird?
Yet here they were fighting right in front of him and despite a careful look around to be sure he could find no signs of special effects people or cameras to record anything. This revelation also made it clear that the short sword in his hand was not going to do anything to the plant lady but piss her off and maybe send him to the hospital. Heading back to his bag of tricks he began to sift through it until he came upon the three things he needed. A metal jar, some duct tape and a grenade. Wrapping the tape around tightly so that the jaw and the grenade wouldn't be separated he darted back to the door leading to the courtyard and threw it open. Naturally everyone involved in the fighting looked in the direction of the unknown sound but he didn't give the plant lady time to react. Pulling the pin on the grenade he threw the compound item at her with as much speed as he could manage and then, just for safeties sake, dove for cover.
Three seconds later the grenade exploded shattering the metal jar, igniting the homemade napalm inside and covering the plant lady from head to toe in flames. The monster screamed like a banshee as it tried in vain to put the flames out and just like he'd hoped the Sailor Senshi followed their routine exactly as described in the tabloids.
"Now Sailor Moon!" exclaimed the tall Senshi with a green themed outfit.
"Right!" Sailor Moon said in agreement before producing a pink heart topped rod from somewhere on her person.
After a quick, and in his opinion useless, series of movements Sailor Moon struck a pose and yelled "Moon Spiral Heart Attack!"
He was only able to catch three streams of what looked like stars flying out from the top of the rod/sceptre before a bright pink light forced him to cover his eyes. When the light died down and he could finally lower her hands the plant lady was gone and only the Sailor Senshi and their formal wear wearing guy friend remained. He wasn't sure exactly what kind of attack Sailor Moon had fired off but it sure wasn't like anything he'd ever seen before. Definitely something to mention to Giles if the sneaky little Brit ever stopped blocking his calls anytime soon.
"Oooohhhh! Look at this mess!" exclaimed Sailor Mars as he surveyed the damage done to the Hikawa shrine, "It's going to take forever to repair all the damage!"
Huh? It almost sounds like Sailor Mars is connected big time to this place. Xander thought as he examined the raven haired Senshi a little more closely. At first there was a strange blurring around her features and figure that made it hard to make out any identifiable features. Fortunately a quick muttering of a dispelling incantation that Willow told him would work whether he had any innate magical talent or not and the blurring vanished to reveal the last person he expected to be wearing a Sailor Senshi outfit.
"Rei?" he exclaimed thereby getting the attention of everyone present, "What the hell?"
"What? But I'm not…" Rei said in surprise as she tried to deny his claim about her true identity but without much success.
"Way to go Rei!" Sailor Moon said as thought the miko had only made things worse when if fact it was she who had just spilled the beans to him.
"Shut up meatball head!" Rei yelled looking ready to march right over to the now identified Serea and smack her on the back of the head.
"I suppose you have a lot of questions Xander." Sailor Venus who he found out was Mina when she transformed back into her civilian clothes.
"Only one actually." He said as he watched the rest of the group change back into normal looking people.
Mina looked at him in a way that made it clear she was waiting to hear what the one question was.
"Who was the dumbass who designed your Senshi costumes?" Xander asked with a little bemusement, "'Cause from where I'm standing I don't think they send the sort of message you ladies would want."