Dear Jake,
I miss you sooooo much. Life is utterly boring without you here with me. Life is same old, same old... except minus you. My heart aches, it feels like some stabbed it over and over. I'm lonely.
I want to take you in my arms and never let you go. Be my prisoner... please don't take this the wrong way. But... sometimes I feel like handcuffing you to me. So you'll never be out of sight, always with in reach. So there is no searching and wondering where you are, how you are. If your hurt or upset, angry. And if you're happy I want to be there spending your time of joy with you.
I know you have some wolfy claim on me- and what a relief that is, but- I want you ALL mine. I don't want to divide you. I know you have duties as a wolf, and I respect that, it's just... I guess. I don't like to share. I'm jealous. And worried, you have me feeling like an old woman. Techniqually I'm a ten year old in a eighteen year old's body.
Mommy and Daddy spend their days in their bedroom- as usual. Alice has been busy re- stocking my closet, once again. Rosalie is staring vainly into the mirror- when she and Emmet aren't following my parent's example.
Emmet and I got into an arm wrestling match the other day- I won. If you don't believe me, then look at the facts. I mean seriously- when it comes to games and winning, Emmet tends to act like a two year old. No throwing the game.
Luckily, we have Grandpa and Grandma here to keep us all straight.
Jasper is teaching me tactics on fighting. I wish I could help you fight, partners in crime- or as I should say, partners in justice. Don't worry I know, I know- I have to stay here and be good. Not to worry, just be happy and safe.
Jeez, like that is ever going to happen. Pretending to be happy seem like a full time job. I think everyone sees through it though. The weird part is I don't know how I feel about that part. I try to be happy for their sake, I know it makes them upset when I'm upset. Yet, it seem slike I'm covering up our love. Pushing it aside for a rainy day, which is the last thing I want to do. I want to feel it in my heart and wear it on my sleeve. So everyone knows your mine.
But, you know, I thought it might come in handy. If your fighting, then I'll be here fighting to.
Anyways, keep yourself safe- for me. Come back in one piece. I'm waiting. I love to the moon and back, more times than you could ever count. XOXOXOXOXO
Forever and ever,
Nessie