Ah Ha!

I read the letter over for the millionth time. I had memorized it word for word. He was definitely in a hurry when he wrote this letter.

Number one, it was a dirty, old, piece of scrap paper. Second, there was ink splotches all over the page- results of trying to hurry a pen. Lastly, he let his location slip. Of all the times he has spoken to me since he brought the dreadful news, he has never told me- or should I say refused to tell me.

"Renesmee, put down the note. Love, I don't think it is going to change any. Cheer up! It's beautiful out today. Why don't we go out hunting today? Honey?" to be honest I didn't hear a word of that. Wait- who was talking? Was someone talking?

"Huh?" I still didn't glance up from my only source of happiness.

A strong hand gripped my arm- but whose hand wasn't strong around here? Then everything went black and I felt extremely cold... and sick? My stomach felt like it was going to hurl. My note was gone.

"Come on, we are leaving!" after focusing, I recognized the voice as my father's.

"What!" I didn't understand.

"You haven't hunted since Jacob left. We are going now." he stated this with authority. Daddy wasn't usually strict or lay down rules, so it was kinda weird hearing him like this.

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "Can I at least have my note back?" There was really no reason to talk with a mind reader in your conversation.

"Once your full." he looked into my eyes, as a warning. A silent tear slide down as I nodded. "If you don't brighten up I will make Alice drag you to more stores than you ever known existed." that was below the belt.

"Oh yeah, 'cause that will just make my day..." I trailed off, thinking about something I had always wanted to ask my him and my mom. But I knew she didn't like to talk about it, I see the shadows under her eyes when I mention it. It was very rare when I saw them apart. I jumped at the shot.

"Daddy?" I thought it would be more appropriate if I talked aloud.

"Yes." it wasn't exactly an invitation to proceed, but I wasn't going to let it go. Even now I could see his eyes darken. He knew so I might as well spit it out.

"What was it like... when... you left mom?" I hesitated, I didn't want to anger him. But yet I had to know. Know that it was the same for them. Know that it just wasn't in my head- the loneliness, the torment.

"It was worst- for me at least." I could hear the ache in his voice, "You handle it like your mother. She tried, but she also had Grandpa Charlie, Grandma Renée,... and your Jacob." he tried very hard to keep his voice calm when he said Jake's name.

I didn't know much about him and my mom, but I did know they had a little romance between them. That's all. I wasn't mad or jealous about that at all, I know that he loved my mom before I came, but now he loves me.

"And that made all the difference" I quoted Robert Frost. My Jacob had to choices- a fork in the road. He chose that path that was most unexpected- less traveled by. He chose me in the end- and everything turned out perfect- for everyone.

Daddy took in my whole thought process- not interrupting, just nodding. "Everyone has these times. Sometimes you have to wonder though- if being a mythical creature increases life drama and agony." he said this last part with a dark chuckle that sent chills down my back.

He pulled me in for a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. Into my hair he spoke, "Everything is gonna turn out fine. I understand that you're worried that he's not coming back, but he is a big boy and he can take care of himself." this time the laugh was light and happy.

"Thanks. I really needed that."

"I know. Otherwise I wouldn't have said any of that. It was a very hard time for me and your mother." with one last squeeze he started dragging me out of out tiny cottage, "Don't think you're getting out of hunting!" he said teasingly.

___________________________________________________________________________________ I got back from hunting later. I had shooed my father ahead before saying I needed time to think- without you listening in. He got the point.

My body was very hesitant to go back to our brook- after all this was ours. It just didn't feel right without me and him. Nothing did anymore.

Once there I let al Hell break loose- literally. Surrendering everything I have in me. I shook violently, crying so loud humans in China could hear me. My hands were practically ripping my hair out from the roots, I was gripping so hard. Only my Jacob could save me and bring me to heaven.

The next morning, I awoke feeling like shit. My hair was tangled, muddy, and just plain old disgusting. My skin and clothing were in no better shape, I had clawed at myself, hating me for letting him slip away. Letting him slip away...

With those words came an idea. I could catch him back for me. I would hold him and never let go. Trust me- I could keep him pretty entertained too.

Jacob and I have never actually had sex- it would be kinda embarrassing with a mind reader dad and emotion reading uncle. Sure, no one else seemed to mind- but ti just felt weird. Technically I was eighteen and we had a bind much more stronger than marriage. We just weren't sure how my mom and dad would react. I was having second thoughts now- I didn't care. I would take him right now to be all mine.

Anyways- focus. I was going to get him back, by force. I ran as fast as I could, down to the rest of my family's house. They would probably think I was insane- the way I looked, and acted. But right now at this very moment I didn't give a damn. I opened the front door and burst through.

"Good heavens, Nessie! What is with the hurry and..." grandma trailed off as she saw I was in no mood for questioning. That was thing with grandma Esme she didn't push the information out of you she just loved you no matter what. The down fall was after the love she gave you, you felt you had to tell her, you wanted to tell her.

"Where's Jasper?" my voice sounded breathless and airy. She smiled then and answered,

"I think he is in the garage, dear." I nodded in acknowledgement and hurried to the garage. Once there I skidded to a halt.

"Where's the fire?" he laughed.

"Teach me everything you know."