Retreat then Restore...Revisiting the Past

She went away, and now she's back...but how does she explain the fact that she wasn't dead, and didn't kill herself?

Just a word of warning to all...My exams start in May and there's going to be a lot of pressure on me workwise until the end of June. So posts may be sparse.

He gently pulled the car over by the block of flats, and got out of the car, walking to Diane's side door and opening it, beckoning for her to come out.

'Thank you,' she said gently, getting out and moving to the back door to get Cassie out.

'Let's get you inside,' said Ric, wrapping his arm around Diane's waist.

Getting her key out of her pocket and opening the door, Diane went inside with Cassie in her arms, followed by Ric.

Straight away, before an awkward silence had the chance to develop, Diane said, 'I should get Cassie ready for bed.'

'Okay, I'll help you,' he said warmly, following her into the bathroom.

'Can you hold her while I get some things out of the suitcase?' she asked. '5 minutes tops.'

'Okay,' he replied, holding out his arms for Cassie.

Placing her into his arms gently, Diane kissed the baby's cheek and got up to leave the room.

Once she had left, Ric held Cassie close and looked into her eyes.

'You look so much like your Mummy, you know that?' he asked. 'You're so beautiful. It's sad that you've been through so much, and you're still so little. But I bet you're strong like your Mummy. And she named you after some very special people, well, apart from me. Your grandma Cassandra, I met her, she was a great lady, very funny and caring, and the best cook in the world. Joanne, well, that's after your auntie, she was very special to your Mummy too, maybe one day your Mummy can take you to meet Joanne's son, your cousin Jack. He'll be about 5 now, wow, how quickly does time go by? But why Rica? Cassie and Joanne are after people your Mummy loved, so does using Rica mean that she loves me? I hope she does, because I love her too. She's always been the one for me. Hasn't she?'

Cassie gurgled in reply.

'What am I doing asking a baby for relationship advice?' asked Ric, talking to himself. 'I should just talk to your Mum. Once you're in bed, and if she's feeling up to it, we'll talk then.'

Diane returned a few minutes later, to find Ric still in deep conversation with Cassie.

'You're having a conversation with a practically newborn baby?' asked Diane, smiling.

'She's given me some good advice actually,' he said, returning her smile.

'Right then,' said Diane. 'Follow me, we're off to the bathroom to give little Miss Smelly a bath.'

Ric actually felt like he was bonding with Cassie as he helped Diane to bathe her. But he couldn't help noticing the little knowing touches being passed between him and Diane, a lingering hand here, a gentle smile there and being splashed.

Once Cassie had been dried and changed into her pajamas, Diane said, 'I'm just going to go and put her to bed, can you ring up the Chinese place and order some food?'

'Sure,' he said. 'What do you want?'

'Uhh, can you order some chicken chow mein and garlic vegetables for me?' asked Diane.

'Okay,' he said, going to find the phone.

Lying Cassie down into the carry cot that she had in the suitcase, Diane made sure that her daughter was comfortable and warm, adding an extra blanket over her and putting her favourite teddy and comfort blanket close to her.

As Cassie wriggled, refusing to go to sleep, Diane sat on the floor beside her, and reached her hand into the cot, stroking her daughter's face gently. As Cassie wasn't settling, she began to sing softly to her.

Hush now my baby
Be still and don't cry,
sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember, my lullaby
and I'll be with you when you dream

Drift on a river
that flows through my arms
Drift as I'm singing to you,
I see you smiling, so peaceful and calm
Holding you I'm smiling too

Here in my arms
safe from all harm
holding you I'm smiling too

Hush now my baby
Be still and don't cry,
sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember, my lullaby
and I'll be with you when you dream

Here in my arms
safe from all harm
holding you I'm smiling too

Sleep and remember, this river lullaby
I'll be with you when you dream
(2x)

I'll be with you when you dream

'I'll always be here,' said Diane. 'Through everything, I'll always be by your side. God gave me a chance to be a Mummy, and brought me you, my little blessing, my little miracle. Even though we've been through so much, we've come out stronger, and we're home now, we're safe.'

Noticing that Cassie had drifted off to sleep, Diane gave her a quick kiss and left the room, seeing Ric outside.

'That was beautiful,' said Ric. 'It's been years since I've heard you sing.'

'I don't do it very often,' said Diane. 'Except when I sing Cassie a lullaby. When we were running away from Gavin when I was pregnant with her, she used to get restless, and I used to sing to her, and she'd be still. I've sung it to her every bedtime and every time she was restless.'

'That's sweet,' said Ric, squeezing her shoulder softly. 'Chinese place said 10 minutes.'

'Okay,' she replied, not being able to focus because his hands were on her skin, setting it alight, intensifying everything around her and making her heart race.