Hey all. Thank youx903859893457 for all the reviews! Seriously, you guys are MADE of awesome. So here's the long awaited (too long awaited) chapter 12. I wrote bits and pieces of it all through the past 2 months so if the writing style/mood seemed to change that is the reason for it. Anyway, happy belated Thanksgiving to everyone! And happy Black Friday as well haha. It wasn't exactly a happy one for myself seeing as I had to wake up at 4 this morning in order to get ready/be at work at 5 AM. A piece of advice to all: DO NOT WORK IN RETAIL, it sucks! Haha. Happy reading (:

If We Were A Movie

"So I did something," I stated, pacing back and forth in Emmett's room. It was a day after Edward and I had se--- I couldn't even bring my self to say it. Not because I regret it or anything. I didn't regret it at all for some reason. But it just felt weird saying it.

I lost my virginity.

I lost my virtue.

To Edward Cullen.

In my best friend's closet.

And that, I believe, is why I feel uncomfortable saying it.

"Okay," Emmett yawned.

"Okay?" I asked. "It is so not okay, Emmett!"

"What's not okay?" Emmett asking, throwing a pillow over his face.

"Where I did what I did."

"What?" Emmett asked, confused. "It's 7 in the morning and I am not fully awake yet, so if you could get to the point that would be super."

"You're mean," I pouted.

"You're loud."

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"I lost my virginity," I confessed.

Emmett threw the pillow off his face, sitting up, in shock. "What?" He gasped. "Who popped your cherry? You're harder to get into than a Harry Potter movie on opening day."

"Emmett!" I scolded.

"What? You are," he defended. "You went out with Jake for forever and you didn't even do him."

I rolled my eyes in reponse.

"I gotta give props to this guy, whoever he is. He deserves a high five," Emmett mused. "So who stole your virtue, Virgin Mary?"

"No one."

"Oh, you really are Virgin Mary, then!" Emmett chortled.

"Stop it!" I threw his pillow at him.

"Well, just tell me. I mean it's not like you don't know about every girl I've ever had the pleasure of de-flowering."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Then why did you even tell me you're a woman now? Not telling me who you did defeats the purpose of this conversation…"

"I'm not gonna tell you."

"Tell me!" Emmett whined.

"No."

"Yes."
"No."

"Yes."

"Shut up."

"No, tellllll meee--"

"Edward Cullen got into a Harry Potter movie on opening day." I turned away from Emmett, sort of embarrassed.

Emmett turned my body back toward his. "I KNEW IT!" He bellowed.

"You didn't know anything."

"It was obvious. The sexual chem was all over the place!"

"It was not," I denied. "And who the hell says chem anyway?"

"Yes it was, and everyone talks shorthand these days," he responded. "So how did it happen?"

"I don't know," I paused. "It just sort of did."

"It just sort of did," Emmett mimicked in this super girly voice. "I thought that 'wasn't an excuse'." He quoted something I'd said to him many, many times.

"Whate--"

"Don't whatever me. I have to give you shit about it because you always give me shit about my sexcapades."

"I didn't have a sexcapade!"

"Fine, it was a one night stand."

I frowned, "Am I a slut? Because I feel like a slut."

Silence.

"Oh my God, I'm a slut!"

"You're not a slut," Emmett said, getting up and walking over to his closet and grabbing his school uniform. "Just a little skanky."

"Emmett!"

"I'm just kidding," he said, walking over to the bathroom to change.

"Well, I don't find it very funny."

"Aw, quit being a baby," his voice was a little muffled through the door.

"I am not being a baby."

"Yes you are," Emmett stated, getting out of the bathroom, still adjusting his tie. "You lost your V-card, so what."

"I lost my v-card, that's what!" I exclaimed. "This is serious, Emmett!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what to do!"

"What do you mean?"

I sighed, "I don't how to act around him."

"Act like nothing happened, that's what I do."

"I can't do that."

"Yes, you can."

"I can't. I feel awkward and I just…ugh," I paused. "I can't face him or Alice or Jasper."

"You mean, you haven't told Jasper?!"

"No."

Emmett ran over to me, engulfing me into a huge hug. "Yes! I'm the first to know! I've always know you loved me more."

"Can't…breathe…"

"Sorry," he said. "But you'll be fine. Just act normal."

"I can't do that." I said again. "I'm just gonna avoid him. And flunk Bio and Interpersonal Com in the process--"

"You've been skipping school?" Emmett asked as we walked from his room to the elevator.

"No," I paused, "just those two classes."

Emmett gave me a stern look.

"I can't face him. It's weird."

"Well geez, was he that bad in bed--"

"No!" I exclaimed.

"He deserves a double high five then," Emmett chuckled. "But seriously, it won't be weird, just say 'hey,' and act totally fine with that fact that he de-flowered you in his sister's closet."

I tilted my head to the side, "Oh yeah, sure, I'll just be like 'hey Edward, thanks for not giving me any rug burns and for being gentle my first time…what's the next bio assignment about?'" I rolled my eyes, "I'd rather flunk out."

Emmett ignored my comment, "No rug burns? Seriously?" He pouted, "When I did it on a rug, I got a ton."

"Thanks for the update," I rolled my eyes.

"You're welcome," he said, ushering me into his limo.

"What I am I gonna do?" I whined, uncapping a bottle of orange juice.

"Nothing," Emmett took a bite of a bagel.

I pouted in response.

"I'm sorry, buddy, but there isn't much you can do," he said. "But look at the bright side: at least Edward isn't some crazy guy who sends you flowers and chocolates and calls a million times after a one nighter…"

"I guess," I shrugged.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"You like him, don't you?" Emmett suddenly asked.

"No I--what?" I felt my face getting hot.

"Do you like Edward?"

"No--"

"Liar," Emmett said. "You do. You like him. You like him, a lot."

"I do not."

"Yes you do."

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Bella likes Edward," he sing-songed.

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Bellie loves Eddie!"

I glared at him, "Shut--" I began saying, but I was cut off by Emmett's limo driver announcing that we had made it to school.

"Ah, we're here," Emmett said. "Time to face the music, Bellarina."

"Emmett McCarty, you're the worst 'shoulder to lean on' person ever."

"Sorry," he shrugged. "My method of therapy has a lot to do with stuff we can't do at 7 in the morning."

I softly chuckled, "Why not?"

"Because it involves lots of booze and sex," he paused. "And it doesn't really seem like you're in the mood for either, especially the last part."

"True," I faintly smiled.

"It's gonna be okay," he hugged me. "Seriously."

I nodded, "I'm just confused."

"I know," he said. "And you can hate me for saying this, but maybe your problem isn't so much the fact that you lost your virginity in your best friend's girlfriend's closet, as much as it is that you like Edward and you're scared to admit it because he's a 'richie' and you hate 'richies' because abandonment of she who shall not be named who's now married to some 'richie.'"

"No, Emmett," I paused, glaring at him a little, "my problem is with anyone who keeps telling me how I feel and you're problem is that you'll have one less friend in a few seconds if you keep telling me what my problem is."

Emmett grabbed my orange juice bottle and examined it, "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I was just making sure this wasn't Hate-o-rade you were sipping because you were being sort of catty a few seconds ago."

"Sorry. Too angry?" I asked.

"Just a little bit."

I nodded, "Dialing back."

Emmett smiled, "Look, I can tell you like him and it's okay, just--and this is gonna sound lame coming from me and if you ever tell anyone I told you this, I will kill you--give your heart what it wants."

"Thanks," I smiled. Coming from Emmett, this meant a lot. He wasn't exactly the type of guy who committed to relationships and he didn't really believe in commitment either, so I felt like he must really believe in my feelings for Edward for him to keep saying this to me.

Emmett just nodded in response.

"Aw, so you're just a big teddy bear, aren't you?" I cooed.

"Stop it," he said.

"You're all warm and soft inside…"

Emmett blushed a little which was very unusual for him, "And you're just a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets."

I gasped.

"Too early?" He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Mr. McCarty, you're going to be late for class," Emmett's limo driver said.

Emmett checked the time on his cell phone, "Shit. Thanks, Lenny. C'mon, Bella."

I shook my head, "I think I'm gonna skip first period."

Emmett nodded, "See you second period."

I'd successfully managed to avoid Edward the first 6 periods of school and now I have to go Biology. Stupid, stupid Biology.

I sighed, walking into class, feeling the penetration of someone's eyes coming from the back corner.

You can do this.

You can sit next to the guy you had sex with.

You are Bella Swan.

Fierce, strong, Bella Swan.

When I looked up from saying my mental pep talk, his eyes met mine. He looked confused and maybe a little hurt and that's when I realized that I couldn't do this.

I can't sit next to the guy I had sex with.

I am Bella Swan, though.

And I'm a coward.

That's why I walked up to Carlisle next and asked him if I could go to the nurse. I'd suddenly didn't feel so well and I needed to go home and rest. Thankfully, he obliged to let me go, though, he did feel obligated to follow me out in the hallway and have a nice, little God father to God daughter chat.

"Have you talked to your Dad?"

"No." My voice was emotionless. I sounded sort of strange to myself.

"He's worried about you."

"I don't care," I shrugged.

"Well, you should," Carlisle looked upset.

"Why?" I asked, "when he didn't care enough about me all those nights I spent in my room, crying, because my mommy didn't love me, to tell me my mother had been trying to contact me ever since she left."

"He was trying to protect you," Carlisle answered.

"From what?"

Carlisle sighed, "It's not my business to tell. Just know that he did what he did because he loves you and because he always has your best interests at heart."

I rolled my eyes. That wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. This is one of the things I hated about life. People were always trying to protect you, yet they don't know that protecting you ends up hurting more because you know that as much as it hurts, you can handle the truth. "Whatever," I sighed, shaking my head, walking away.

I sat patiently as Alice put the finishing touches on my make-up. "Are you done yet?" I asked, tapping my foot. She'd been playing 'Bella Barbie' for the past hour and I was getting tired of it.

"Almost," she replied. I sighed in relief, thanking God that 'Bella Barbie'-time was almost over and that Alice hadn't figured out what was up with me yet. She was a very perceptive person and ever since we got to her house she'd been asking me what was wrong. I told her that nothing was wrong of course. Yet that didn't stop her from asking me again and again.

"Can you stop fidgeting?" She asked.

"Sorry," I replied. I was just really antsy. I was worried that at any moment Edward would come into the room and that Alice would learn the truth, not because he'd say anything, but because she'd just figure it out. She was, like, psychic or something.

"Done," she stated.

"Finally," I muttered, getting up to take a peek in the mirror.

"Patience, little one," Alice paused, "so what do you think?"

"I think…" I drifted off, looking at my reflection. My hair was in soft, loose curls going down my back and my make-up was light just gold undertones here and there, but you could still tell I had some on. "…it looks great! I love it!"

Alice smiled as both of us stood in the mirror. "We look good."

I laughed, "We look great."

"We look hot!" She exclaimed, shaking her hips. "Now, let's go have some fun!"

I'd avoided Edward or any conversation to do with Edward pretty well for most of the night. When we arrived at the dance, he was the first person Alice spotted and as she began to wave him over, I left, claiming that if I didn't use the bathroom, I would "burst."

After the whole bathroom incident, which, in my opinion, was pretty strange because Rosalie Hale was in a stall crying and I ended up consoling her (hence the strange part), I ran into Emmett and Jasper who directed me towards our table so that I could take my seat before Headmistress and Headmaster Volturi bragged about how great our schools were and all of that other pointless crap.

Taking my seat, I realized that there was only one empty seat left directly next to me.

Edward's seat.

This is gonna be awkward, I thought, kicking Emmett under the table.

"What?" He asked.

I leaned over the empty seat so that Alice and Jasper wouldn't hear, "Switch seats with me."

"Why?"

"Because if I sit here, he'll have to sit next to me."

I saw the realization cross his face, but his response wasn't exactly supportive. "So?"

"Just switch seats with me," I huffed.

"No," Emmett replied. "You need to quit being such a girl and be a man."

"But I am a girl!" I exclaimed, which caused Alice and Jasper to turn their heads towards us. I gave them a small smile as I got an idea. "Do you think we could get an extra chair?"

"Yeah," Alice said, "why?"

"Because I saw Rosalie Hale crying in the bathroom, something about everyone hating her because her Dad has been turned into Madoff, or something," I shrugged, "I figured she could sit with us, since a chair probably beats the bathroom floor."

Alice nodded, "I'll go ask one of the hostesses for an extra chair and you can go get her from the bathroom."

And the problem was solved just like that. Rosalie sat next to me and Edward sat next to Rosalie. And Alice didn't figure anything out.

Yet.

I had a feeling she was onto us though. During the entire dinner, she kept looking and me and then at Edward. I would've told her to stop visually interrogating me, if, you know, visual interrogation actually existed.

After dinner was over, the dance officially began. Alice and Jasper hit the dance floor and I went to the ladies' room to 'freshen up' along with Rosalie.

As soon as the door to the bathroom shut she let it out. "So, when did you fuck him?"

"Excuse me?" I was in shock.

"You heard me," she said. "When did you have sex with Edward?"

I stared at her like she was crazy. "I never had sex with Edward."

How the hell did she figure it out?!

"Look, the last thing I need in my life is another liar, so stop lying."

"I'm not lying."

"You're lying."

"I didn't sleep with h--"

"I'm betting it was a few days ago," she cut me off.

I ignored her, dabbing on some lip gloss. "You're crazy."

"I know," she replied off-handedly. "And you're a liar."

I rolled my eyes, "I regret being nice to you."

She shrugged, "I'd regret being nice to me too. I was always a bitch to you."

"I know."

She tousled her hair, "Look, you can deny it as much as you want, but you slept with Edward," she paused, prepared for me to cut her off. And when I didn't, she continued. "And you may deny it till you're blue, but you like him. A lot. If he was just some random guy you fucked, you wouldn't have asked me to sit at your table so that you wouldn't have to sit next to him." She paused again. But I didn't say anything this time either.

"It's obvious. So obvious that you like him. And he likes you too," she said, grabbing the door handle. "And believe me when I say this, you have no idea how lucky you are that the guy you like, likes you back. And not just because of how you look or how easy you are or your family's status. He likes you for you.

"What exactly, he sees in you, I'm still trying to figure out," she paused, realizing what she said was sort of bitchy, but I didn't say anything because that's how Rosalie was. She was a bitch. She was mean. But at least she said what was on her mind. "But he does. And that's all that matters."

Before I had a chance to respond, she left the bathroom and I followed in suit, not sure of how the hell I felt about what she said. And I didn't even have enough time to process it because as soon as I walked back onto the dance floor, Alice approached me, mask in hand as she animatedly began telling me about how no one was wearing their masks and how upset she was because, 'this is a masquerade, Bella, you'd think they get the picture since the word mask is in the title.' After she was done with her rant, I convinced her to dance since maybe that'd calm her down.

And that was how the rest of the night went. I danced with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and even Rosalie joined us a few times. It was all fun and games until the DJ decided to ruin my life by playing the one song I didn't want to hear because it would make me think of things I didn't want to think about.

I decided to take a seat at our table as the familiar words of Howie Day filled my ears. I guess I'd just have to deal. I sighed, looking at all the couples dancing. They looked so happy.

Alice and Jasper. Those two made it all look so easy. Love. Trust. Friendship. Their relationship had it all. Sometimes, I wish I could be like them. They were so honest and open and I, definitely wasn't. I was honest, most of the time, but I wasn't open.

Thinking about their happy relationship, made me a little jealous so I moved onto the couple dancing next to them. Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie and Emmett? What? I thought they hated each other---

The blonde girl! I thought. At Bungalow 8. It was Rosalie. I remembered seeing her 'friends' that night, but I didn't see her. And now that I think of it, both of them came in awfully late together a lot of times during 3rd period, looking disheveled.

Sneaky, sneaky, I thought, looking at the other side of the dance floor when I felt someone's eyes piercing into me.

And there he was. Edward Cullen. Dancing. With another girl.

And suddenly, I felt jealous. He was dancing with another girl to our song, I'm—

I'm going crazy, I thought. I needed to get out of here. This whole dance, the extra chair thing, and everything Emmett and Rosalie said to me had officially gotten to me.

I practically ran out of the ballroom, totally in shock because I realized that maybe, just maybe, Rosalie and Emmett were right. And the thought of that scared the crap out of me. I just wasn't ready--

"Bella!" I heard someone yell behind me and I didn't even need to turn around to see who it was. I already knew it was Edward.

"Yeah?" I turned toward him, my voice shaky.

It felt like one of those 90's movies where the geeky/unpopular girl gets the rich/popular guy. And this is the scene when the guy comes to make amends. To tell her how he really feels.

"You're avoiding me," Edward said, when he finally caught up to me.

"I am not," I denied, looking anywhere but at him because he was close, too close.

"You are," he continued, his voice had a sense of affirmation in it. "And I know it's because of what happened and I know that it's probably what your ideal first time was supposed to be like but--"

"You're right, it wasn't."

"--I don't regret what happened," he continued, "and I hope you don't either because the truth is that I can't stop thinking about you--"

I stopped breathing. "Stop," I said, shaking my head. "Just…stop."

"No," he replied. "I like you, Bella. A lot. And I don't know when I exactly started liking you or why I would even attempt liking you since you've claimed that you hated me pretty much since you met me, but I do." He smiled, shrugging. "I guess I like a challenge."

"I can't…Edward--"

"What?"

"I just…I just…can't," I sighed.

"Why?" He said. "Is it because of what happened? Because--"

"No," I said. "I just don't feel--"

Edward stared at me and I could tell he was getting a little frustrated with my stubbornness. "The same?" He questioned.

I didn't say anything.

"Because you can't tell me that. I wouldn't believe you," he paused, cupping my cheeks, looking so deep into my eyes that I felt like he could look into my soul.

I looked right back at him, and when he started to lean in, I leaned in too, even though my head was screaming at me not to, but I decided to let myself have this one kiss I knew that I could never date Edward Cullen.

Not because I didn't like him or anything, because at that moment, as he weaved his fingers through my hair, I realized that I did. I liked him. Too much. So much that I couldn't handle it. Just the thought of being with him scared me.

I wasn't so good at trusting people, and trusting Edward was something that I didn't think I could do right now. I was such a mess and I didn't want to throw him in the mess of 'Bella' as well.

So when Edward and I broke apart, instead of telling him that yes, God yes, I'd felt the same too, I simply uttered in a cracked voice, "I'm sorry, I can't," because life isn't a 90's movie.

Though, I really wished it was.

Don't we all? Haha, well don't hate me too much. They will get together, I promise. It may not be soon. But it will happen! As always, all of your comments, questions, and suggestions are welcome!

Review.