Hey all! First off, I apologize for not updating for months. But I've just been so busy with school and work. But now, I'm done with school :) I graduated last Saturday! Woot woot! So now that it's summer for me, I'll have more time to update. I apologize in advance for the crappy writing in this chapter, but I was a little rusty, hopefully the next chapter will be a little better. Enjoy!

Hello Good Morning

I woke up the next morning feeling nothing like P. Diddy. I felt like shit. And I looked like shit too. My hair was a mess and my make-up was smeared. My head hurt. My feet hurt. And though, I didn't want to admit it to myself, my heart hurt too.

No it doesn't, I said to myself. Sighing, I walked into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes from the night before. I got into the bathtub and fixed the water to my liking, trying not to think of anything but the events that occurred last night.

As I scrubbed my back with my favorite body wash, I couldn't help but think of him.

He nodded, "So I'm gonna go take that shower, third door on the left upstairs."

"And I care because…?" I said, when it clicked. "Wait. You want me to join you?"

"It's a suggestion," he shrugged. "I can't really scrub my back. I need someone else to do it for me."

"Then get a longer loofah, asshole!" I huffed.

He chuckled, heading for the stairs, "You can't resist me."

I rolled my eyes, "You're not even tempting."

"Lying is a sin, you know."

"And being an asshole is too."

"Huh," he feigned confusion. "I didn't see that one written anywhere."

"Just go take your stupid shower!" I retorted.

"Fine. Just remember, third door on the left." He winked at me.

I told myself to stop thinking about him - that the choice I made last night was the right one. Was it? I thought, rinsing off the remaining body wash off of me. Yes, it was, I said to myself. I didn't need a relationship right now. I couldn't handle one.

I couldn't handle the way he makes me feel.

I got out of the shower and put on my clothes, pissed off because I was second-guessing myself. I never did that. Ever. But ever since this Edward Cullen person came into my life, that's all I've been doing. And I've also been fretting over everything, I've been pissed off, I've laughed, smiled, I've met new people, and gone to functions I probably wouldn't have gone to before.

I've… had fun ever since Edward Cullen came into my life.

I'm going crazy, I thought, leaving Charlie a quick note telling him I went out (even though I was still pissed at him for lying to me). I really needed some air and sometime to mull over things before I did anything crazy like go to his house and take back everything I said the night before.

So apparently, the whole 'I need air' thing was a terrible idea because here I was, standing in front of Edward's bedroom door.

Tap.

Tap.

Knock, I said to myself. I mean, if I made it this far why not just go all the way?

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

I heard some rustling and then the door opened. Edward still had on his outfit from the night before – minus the suit jacket and his dress shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was kind of messy, but he still looked good.

"Bella," he said, his voice laced with surprise.

"Hi," I meekly replied.

"What are you—"

"First, I wanna apologize for the way I ran off last night, your admission scared the crap out of me and it still does but I…"

"Bella, I—"

"It took a lot for me to come here so just let me get this out, okay?"

He nodded.

"I like you, Edward," I admitted, smiling. "Too much. And that scares me, so that's why I ran away last night like I did. But I don't want to lose you, which is why I came here this morning. I'm not ready for a relationship or anything but I don't want to push you away, either. So let's just make it point to hang out every once in awhile and see where that takes us."

"I don't wanna lose you, either," Edward said seriously.

I smiled—

"Edward, where are my shoes?" A feminine voice behind the door asked.

Edward's face fell, "Bella, we didn't do anyth—"

I couldn't believe it. The one time I put myself out there, it all gets shoved back in my face. "I always knew you were a jackass, but God, you just outdid yourself."

"We didn't—"

"Where are my shoes?" The girl, whose voice sounded a lot like Victoria's asked again.

I shook my head, as my eyes welled up with tears, "Forget it."

I quickly walked down the stairs, willing myself not to cry. I pressed the down button for the elevator, the tears threatening to fall, but I kept them in; I didn't want to cry in his vicinity. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction. I felt so stupid. Why did I even go over there? God, this whole thing was so dumb.

I shook my head as the elevator pinged when it went down each floor. I officially hate myself. I hate myself for going over there. For ever being nice to him. For becoming his friend. For flirting with him. For having butterflies in my stomach when he was around. For thinking about him so much. For liking him.

But mostly, I hated myself for wanting cry so badly over him. I mean, we weren't even in a relationship! We were barely friends. And yet, as the elevator got to the final floor, I let a single tear drop.

As I opened the door to my apartment, I smelled pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes. And I heard the whistle of the Andy Griffith theme song. Daddy was home.

Whoop-dee-do.

I padded through the living room, trying to go unnoticed because I wasn't in the mood to deal with Charlie or another fight. Personally, I just wanted to crawl back into bed, listen to some music, and forget all about the mess my life has become.

But of course, Charlie, being the keen listener that he is, heard me. "Bells! Come to the kitchen," he paused, waiting for a response from me and when he didn't get one, he continued, "I made pancakes! Chocolate chip, your favorite!"

"Not hungry!" I managed to yell back. I continued to journey to my room and as soon as I shut the door to my bedroom, I began to cry. I mean, really cry – full on waterworks, sniffles, puffy nose, blotchy face, the whole bit.

I grabbed my iPod from my night stand and quickly plugged it into my ears as I snuggled under the covers of my bed. I scrolled down until I found the playlist I was looking for. It was entitled: I should really become a Lesbian. I made it shortly after my break up with Jake. The title of the playlist pretty much says how well our relationship/break up went.

I Will Survive was the first song that played and I quickly changed it because while I was sad, I wasn't desperate. Or 40 years old. The next few songs were all angry (which was what Jake made me feel a lot of time) and then finally I gave up, turned off my iPod, and just stared at the ceiling.

And I guess all the staring and crying made me sleepy because I woke up 3 hours later with a headache and a stomach ache. I headed to the kitchen to relieve both pains by taking an aspirin and eating some of those pancakes that Charlie had made earlier. I'm sure they were cold, but I bet they still tasted good.

I was halfway through eating my 6th pancake (comfort food!) when the front door to our apartment opened. It was Charlie. It looked like he had just gone grocery shopping.

Even though I was still pissed at him for before, I had to know one thing: "Did you buy ice cream?"

"Yes," he replied. "Ben & Jerry's."

"What kind?" I asked, a little excited. Ice cream makes everything better.

"Chocolate-" He replied, taking it out of the grocery bag and handing it to me.

"Thanks," I replied, grabbing the pint and heading off to my room when -

"We need to talk, Bella."

I sighed, I was this close to getting away. "Can we talk later? I'm not really in the mood-"

"I know, Bells," he interjected, "but we need to talk about this."

"Not now," I stated, walking the rest of the way to my room. What happened next was something I never expected: Charlie followed me to my room. And what came out of his mouth shocked me even more: "We're gonna talk right now, even if you don't want to." Charlie was always really soft-spoken and laidback, he was never this…stern.

"I don't want to talk," I griped.

"Well, we are," he paused, "now I know that I didn't handle the situation as best as I could have-"

I scoffed.

"…but I didn't know how to explain what was happening to you - you were so young and I was heartbroken, you were right - I did try to hurt her by keeping you away from her and that was wrong and I'm sorry…" Charlie trailed off, his eyes filled with all of this emotion I never knew he had. "I was just trying to protect you, Bells. Your Mom's life wasn't very stable after she left - she moved around a lot and I didn't want you to get caught up in that."

Before I even knew what I was saying, I said it. "It's okay, Dad. I know." And I did know. I knew he was probably trying to protect me, but as I grew up, he should've stopped protecting me and told me. "But you should've told me when I grew up. mean, I'm a big girl. It's nothing I can't handle."

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," I nodded. "For all of those things I said, I didn't mean any-"

"I know," he replied, giving me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head. "I know."

And then for some reason I did something that I usually wouldn't have ever done. Because I'm usually not a very emotional person minus the anger (I was raised by a single parent who taught me what a 'period' was by using pipes; I have a right to be messed up).

I started crying.

"Bella, it's okay," Charlie soothed.

Sniffle. Tear.

Tear. Tear. Sniffle.

Sniffle.

Sniffle.

Apparently, I did not know it was okay.

Sniffle.

Tear.

Sniffle.

The tears were coming out like crazy and I think I seriously freaked Charlie out because he kept telling me it was "okay" and that he "accepts my apology."

"I know," I finally replied, completely red faced and snotty-nosed. "I just…I have a lot going on right now."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He had a look of genuine concern on his face and I loved the man more than anything so I decided to spare him the story about how I lost my virginity in a closet (I'm so classy) with he who shall not be named (he became Voldermort as soon as I heard Fire crotch's voice in the background).

So I decided to say what any girl who really wanted to not be bothered usually said, "I'm just emotional because it's…you know."

"Oh," Charlie said.

"Yeah," I replied. "I kind of just want to be alone."

Charlie nodded, giving me another kiss on the top of my head and mussing up my hair. As he was heading for the door, he held up an envelope. "I know it's probably not the time for this, but I just wanted to remind you that you got a letter from school about that college tour."

"What?" I said, a little confused.

"The fall college tour - you're visiting different colleges on the east coast," Charlie reiterated. "You signed up for it way back in August."

"Oh," I said when it registered in my brain. "I'll be gone for the weekend, right?"

"That is correct," Charlie paused as I nodded, "Okay, get some rest and feel better, Bells."

The week after "the incident" as Emmett had named it, had gone by pretty quickly. I'd avoided him all week. I didn't want to see the douche bag. He tried talking to me in Bio a few times but after I told him to "go to hell" and "fuck off" the first few days, he got the picture.

And now it was Friday, the day that we embarked on our big East Coast College Tour. Each student got to pick two colleges they wished to visit and then they'd be placed in the same group with other students who wanted to visit the same schools. I hoped I had a good group because I knew that I didn't choose any of the same colleges to visit like Jasper, Alice, or Emmett. Jasper and Alice wanted to visit the artsy schools while Emmett was making rounds of the Big East schools because all he was looking for this weekend was a good party.

I grabbed my duffle bag and was about to go check-in when Mike Newton slapped me on the back like I was on the football team or something and yelled my name in the most exciting manner.

"Hi?" I was so confused.

"We're in the same group!" He exclaimed.

Oh joy.

"Great," I gave him a small smile. I was actually surprised Mike chose to visit the schools I chose to visit: Dartmouth and University of Connecticut. I thought he'd choose the big party schools like Duke or something but I figured his parents made the choice for him. "Who else is in our group?"

He ignored my comment, "It's you, me, and Cullen…"

My life could not get any worse right now.

Good, bad, terrible? Comments? Questions? Suggestions?

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