Chapter 12

Jim needed a drink. After the past few days, he figured it was totally justified too. And seeing as Bones always needed a drink, or at least always wanted one, he decided to extend the offer to his good friend. As expected, Bones accepted the request and they headed to Bones's quarters to partake in an evening of drunken confessions and fun instead of simply calling it a day and going to sleep.

They arrived at Bones's quarters and Jim sat down, closing his eyes and relished in the temporary peace and quiet. He was still a bit disconcerted about the memories that had resurfaced just a few minutes ago back in Spock's quarters during their palm reading extravaganza. He hadn't ever felt so much regret towards the state of his family as he had now.

"So what were you and the pointy eared bastard doing?" Bones asked, setting a glass down in front of Jim before taking a swig of his own drink.

Jim took a quick gulp and then said, "I was teaching him the fine art of palm reading."

Bones looked at him for a moment before bursting into loud laughter. "You were trying to teach a being who spends his entire life living by logic palm reading, one of the most illogical practices known to exist?" Bones almost choked on his drink as he continued laughing. Jim let him, realizing that it probably was a really ridiculous idea. Well, it wasn't like he'd expected Spock to believe in it. Not even Jim believed in that kind of garbage. But still, every once in a while, it was fun to speculate.

"How did it go?" Bones asked, still chortling. Jim could tell that he already had an image in his head of the entire event.

"I read his palm and then-"

"Wait," Bones interjected, giving Jim the his patented you-should-really-be-locked-away-in-a-mental-institution look, "you read his palm?"

"Yeah," Jim nodded, a thoughtful expression coming over his face as he took another sip of his drink. "He has really soft hands...it's interesting."

This time Bones really did choke on his beverage. After a moment of coughing and swearing, he glared at Jim. "I'm not drunk enough for this. What do you mean his hands are soft?"

Jim shrugged, amused at his friend's flustered reaction. "What I said. He has soft hands."

Bones opened his mouth a couple of times, trying to find the right words, looking for all the world like a very confused goldfish. "Are you out of your damn mind!" he finally settled on, looking like he already knew the answer to the question. It was Jim, of course he was out of his mind.

However, Jim seemed confused about the sudden outburst. Bones had absolutely no reason to be upset with him. What he chose to do with his first officer was his concern, no matter how bad that sounded. "What's wrong?" he decided to ask reasonably. It would be best to settle this matter diplomatically.

Bones was shaking his head and took another long drink. "Vulcans kiss with their hands," he explained, looking up to gauge his reaction. And Jim was sure it must have been a doozy of a reaction too. He felt himself become flushed and knew that there was no way in hell he could blame it on the alcohol. He was also almost positive that, at the same time, he became a sickly pale, even if he was sure that it was impossible to flush and blanch at the same time. He was also aware that his mouth had taken to moving with no sounds coming out other than an occasional 'oh'.

"They kiss?" Jim asked quietly, trying to wrap his mind around the concept. "Like 'you're hot, let's make out' kiss? With their hands?"

Bones just nodded, an almost smug, satisfied smile on his face. Damn, this was all part of his plan. He didn't know how, but Bones had known that something like this would happen. He had just been waiting for this moment since Jim had taken control of the Enterprise. Damn Bones and his damn conniving ways.

"How do you know so little about Vulcans when your own first officer is a half-Vulcan?" Bones asked incredulously.

Jim shrugged. "Have you ever tried talking to Spock?" Jim responded. "He'd rather amputate his own foot than offer up any personal information."

McCoy scoffed. "He'd probably be better at amputation than one-on-one personal chats, too."

Jim smiled slightly and downed the rest of his drink. Bones quickly poured him another glass. Jim shook his head. Vulcans kiss with their hands. That was crazy! Why hadn't he said anything or at least tried to pull away? But if Jim thought about it, he did remember how uncomfortable and tense Spock had gotten.

This wasn't Jim's fault. He hadn't known. This was Spock's fault. If he had been uncomfortable, he should have swallowed his damn pride and said so.

"But Spock didn't say anything..." Jim trailed off, knowing that he sounded defensive. He hadn't said anything, but he had attempted to pull his hands away. It had been a really half-assed attempt though.

"Of course he didn't say anything!" Bones exclaimed, waving his arms around wildly. "Damned Vulcans probably consider any sexual pleasure - or, in this case, displeasure - a weakness."

"Hey," Jim said, slightly offended, "for all you know, I'm an awesome kisser. Probably the best hand kiss Spock's ever had."

An awkward silence fell between the two men. Bones was right. Neither of them were drunk enough for this.

"I thought that he was just tense because he's a touch telepath. I figured he was just concerned about being able to read my mind or something," Jim finally said, wishing with an illogical fervor that he could erase his previous comment. Bones was giving him an indecipherable look and Jim found it to be insanely disconcerting. He just wanted him to say something, anything. Although, he had a feeling that anything Bones would say would be less than appreciated in the long run.

"I suppose I should probably apologize for molesting his hands," Jim said, glancing down into his now empty glass. Bones spluttered at his word choice and Jim chuckled slightly through his guilt.

"I need another drink," he said, and instead of pouring another glass, just took a swig from the bottle. Jim laughed and held out his glass for more.

~*00*~

Later that night, Jim stumbled his way back to his own quarters. He couldn't remember the last time he had been this intoxicated, but he very much appreciated it right now. He didn't understand how he had unwittingly started a make out session with his first officer. His very stoic, emotionally unavailable, half-Vulcan first officer. The odd thing was that he was more upset about the fact the he hadn't known that it was happening than that it had happened at all. At least if he had known, he could have gone out of his way to enjoy it for what it was. Or, at the very least, he could have attempted to make Spock even more uncomfortable.

Jim giggled at the thought. He was so drunk.

Somehow or another, he came to a halt outside of Spock's room. He swayed slightly before falling against the door.

"Spock," he called out petulantly, sporadically knocking against the door. He giggled when he played a tune with the beats of his knocking. "Spoooock!"

He could hear movement from in the room. Spock was blind...Spock couldn't see. He should leave the poor man alone. But he had to apologize. He had to let the Vulcan man known that he hadn't meant to try to sex him. After all, Spock wasn't really his type. He was tall, and pale, and had deep brown eyes that smiled at him. Yes, Spock was an attractive man. But not for Jim. Nope.

Well, maybe sexing Spock wouldn't be so bad after all.

No, bad Jim. That's not what he meant. He meant it would be bad sexing Spock. Yes. But he just had to apologize. What if Spock hated him? He couldn't handle that. No, he was going to apologize.

"Spock," he called out once more, slouching against the door. So it was a great surprise for him when the door slid open and he fell against a soft, warm body.

"Jim?" he asked, confusion evident in his voice. Through his drunken state, Jim felt guilt again at waking his friend up for no good reason. But then again, he was really too drunk to act on said guilt, so instead, he wrapped his arms around the half-Vulcan's waist and squeezed him tight.

"I'm sorry, Spock," he mumbled into his chest. Spock stiffened and stood still. "I didn't mean to." He pulled back and sloppily brought his hands to Spock's face, trying to pat him on the cheek.

"What are you referring to, Captain?" Spock asked, trying to fend off the intruding hands while holding up the young captain.

"I'm sorry," Jim just continued muttering. "Please don't hate me."

Spock froze, this time not out of discomfort, but out of confusion and fear. "Jim, you are inebriated. You need to sleep."

"Just a little," he giggled and clenched at Spock's shirt, like how a small child would clench at his mother's skirt. "I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry and I didn't know." He shook his head.

Jim looked up at Spock and smiled before reaching up and gently running his finger over the tip of Spock's ear. It flushed a bright green and Jim smiled in pure childlike delight. "I like your ears," he whispered. "They're fascinating."

Spock's cheeks flushed a bright green and he disengaged from Jim. Jim pouted as the loss of the warmth of his friend's body. Not that he was cold as Spock's room always resembled an overwhelmingly hot desert.

"You need to sleep, Captain," Spock said firmly crossing his arms over his chest in what was a decidedly defensive pose. Jim groaned and swayed again. Maybe Spock was right. Sleep sounded good. He should sleep.

"G'night Spock," Jim said, turning around to leave the room before falling over. He laughed as he hit the floor and then stood back up. The attempt took at least two tries. "G'night Spock. I'm sorry."

He left before Spock could say anything else and finally found his own quarters. If it hadn't been for his captain's override code, he probably would have been forced to sleep in the hallway. As it was, he was able to vocally command his door open and he entered, plopping down on his bed. It took him a couple minutes to figure out his boots, but as soon as they were off, he drifted off into a deep sleep.

~*00*~

Something had happened last night. Something horrible. Something that Jim couldn't quite remember but was pretty sure it had something to do with his raging hangover. All he knew was that he probably had a good reason to yell at Bones and an even better reason to apologize to Spock. He just wished he could remember why.

Jim sighed and quickly got ready. He would head to the sickbay and get something for his horrible hangover and maybe Bones would have some answers. He shook his head as he left his quarters in dim confusion. It had been years since he had gotten so drunk that he couldn't remember what had happened the next morning. He was now reminded that there was a good reason for it. Having holes in his memory was definitely disorienting and unpleasant.

"Bones," he moaned as he walked into the sickbay. His friend looked over at him and rolled his eyes.

"I knew I should have bet money that you would come down here today," Bones sighed, grabbing a hypo and jabbing it into Jim's neck before he could protest. "Problem solved."

Jim grabbed his neck instinctively, but nodded his gratitude to the doctor regardless. "What happened?" Jim asked, moving towards his office. Bones looked at him for a moment before following him into the office, closing the door behind him.

"What do you mean?"

Jim flushed slightly. "I don't remember what happened," he confessed.

Bones chuckled slightly then launched into a re-enactment of the conversation from the previous night. It was unfortunate for Jim, who realized that Bones was probably getting twice the enjoyment from it.

"So I kissed Spock?" Jim asked, just wanting a confirmation.

"Yes."

"And then I got drunk with you?"

"Yes."

"And then I left."

Bones nodded. Something had happened after that, he knew it. He could feel it in his very core, the pit of his stomach, in his very bones. Something had happened after he'd left Bones's quarters. And he was pretty sure that it had something to do with Spock. And he was almost positive that it wasn't good.

"I have to go. I need to check in on Spock," Jim said, standing up and leaving without looking back. He had a lot to apologize for if his hunch was even half correct.

The walk to Spock's room didn't take nearly enough time and Jim considered how much of an inconvenience it would be to issue room reassignments. It would probably involve a lot of paperwork, and Jim was already behind in that department as it was. He quickly vetoed the idea as he stood outside of Spock's room. He supposed he kind of looked like a fool to his crew members, so he quickly punched in the entrance code and stepped in when the door opened.

Spock was sitting on his bed, a steaming cup in his hands. Jim carefully walked over to the replicator and set it to prepare breakfast before walking over to sit in a chair by the bed.

"Hey Spock," he said softly, looking down at his hands. He was briefly glad that Spock couldn't see him because he was pretty sure he looked like a nervous wreck.

Ugh. He was never drinking with Bones again.

"Hello Captain," Spock responded, stiffening slightly and withdrawing slightly from the nonexistent conversation. Jim almost sighed. He had definitely done something inappropriate last night.

He stood up again to go set the food out on the table and called Spock over to join him. He watched as Spock stood up and carefully made his way over to the table. Jim winced as Spock ran into the corner of his desk, but he didn't dare stand up to help him. He decided that it was probably smartest to maintain a healthy distance for the moment.

Breakfast passed at an agonizingly slow pace. Jim kept on trying to apologize and Spock simply sat there eating methodically, looking unreceptive to anything that Jim might have been trying to say. To be fair, he hadn't actually tried yet, but it was disconcerting to apologize to a brick wall, even if the brick wall really deserved an apology.

Instead, they finished their breakfast silently and Jim stood to go to the bridge to see if there was anything exciting that had happened during the night shift. He doubted it. "Do you need anything before I go?" Jim asked.

To his surprise, Spock stood up shortly and walked to the door, leaving without a word. Jim remained standing in place before tearing after him, confused as hell. Why couldn't Spock ever just act like a normal person, ever? Why did he always have to make things so difficult? Was a simple 'no, Jim, I am fine, but thank you for offering' so hard?

Judging by the speed that Spock was walking through the halls, it was.

"Spock," he called after his first officer as he chased after him. Spock paused for a moment and Jim ended up stalking after him down the hall. This had to be one of the uncaptainly-like moments to ever be witnessed by crew members in the history of uncaptainly moments. "Where are you going? Bones would kill me if he knew I was letting you walk around potential hazards."

"You know I do not appreciate having my personal space invaded," Spock said, whirling on him, an accusatory tone lacing his voice. Jim stopped short, as if struck. He was mad, and Spock realized this and quickly seemed to reign in his emotions.

"I'm sorry," Jim said after a moment, slightly ashamed of the pleading undertone in his voice. "I've been trying to apologize all morning. I didn't know-" he lowered his voice as a couple of ensigns walked past them, "I didn't know that your hands are...I mean, what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry for invading your personal space yesterday."

Spock didn't move, didn't even look like he had heard him. Jim waited for a minute, shifting back and forth on his feet. Spock simply stared at him blindly, seemingly internally debating with himself.

"An apology is unnecessary, Captain," Spock finally said tersely after what seemed like an eternity. He was still mad, Jim could tell. Why couldn't he just get angry and get it over with? Then they could get back to being friends again. Or...whatever they had been before this whole mess.

"Damn it Spock, I know you're still angry," Jim snapped. "What do you want me to do?"

Spock kept his silence, as Jim expected he would.

"What happened last night?" Jim pressed, hoping to melt the cold exterior of his first officer and get answers at the same time. He just wanted to see a glimpse of the humanity in Spock, just a trace of it. He knew that it was there because he saw it so frequently. He also knew that he was the cause of its current absence. But if he wouldn't allow him to make amends, what was he supposed to do? And in his helplessness, he became frustrated.

Jim found that, in Spock's lack of expressible anger, his was building up. And it wasn't even Spock's fault. He was just so mad. Mad at the Organian's for betraying their trust, mad at the Klingons for hurting his first officer, mad at Bones for allowing him to get drunk, mad at Spock for not ever opening up about things that bothered him or made him uncomfortable...but most of all, he was mad at himself. Mad that he'd allowed any of it to happen in the first place, mad that he couldn't undo whatever it was he had done, mad that he hadn't had the self-control that he had needed to avoid making a mess of things...mad that he was turning out to be a massively incompetent captain.

And he was mad enough that he didn't care who he hurt, as long as the fury building inside his chest would diminish and just go away.

And in this anger, he found that he was as blind as Spock. So he couldn't stop the inexplicably hurtful words that poured out of his mouth, and he couldn't stop the hand that reached out and shoved the man against the wall, and he couldn't stop his feet from carrying him away from a hurt, confused Spock.

Only to realize a couple minutes later that he had made another grave mistake. No wonder Spock didn't want to be his friend. For someone as logical as Spock to want to be friends with someone as emotionally out of control as Jim, the universe would have to descend into some kind of eternal opposite day. He couldn't explain his outburst to himself, let alone Spock, especially seeing as it was entirely unwarranted. Not to mention, he had left him alone, on a big ship, blind. He had to go back, even if Spock never wanted to see him again. Jim almost laughed at his bad, unintentional joke, but found that he simply didn't have the energy for it.

Surprisingly, he found the man where he had left him, standing with his back to the wall. He seemed to have regained some of his composure and merely seemed to be waiting.

"Spock, I'm so sorry," Jim whispered, stopping in front of his first officer tentatively. "I didn't mean to let my anger get the best of me. I've just been...well, it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. I wasn't even mad at you."

Spock nodded slightly. "Apology accepted, Captain," he replied and Jim was relieved to note that some of the tension in his shoulders had decreased and there was a slight softening to his facial features as well. Jim was surprised. That had been way easier than it was it was supposed to be. And for some odd reason, he felt the need to reach out to the other man, to thank him for being so stable, so comforting in his calm demeanor.

Before he could make sense of this feeling or express anything at all to Spock, the man doubled over. It was just for a moment before he straightened back up. Spock brought his hand up to his head, gently massaging his temples. A pained look flashed across his face so quickly that Jim almost thought he'd imagined it. But then it took up residence in his eyes, and Jim knew that something was wrong.

"Are you alright, Spock?" he asked, hesitantly reaching out a hand and resting it on Spock's shoulder in a comforting gesture. He was surprised when Spock didn't tense up or pull away after their previous conversation.

He shook his head once, paused, and then nodded. "I believe my vision is coming back," he said.

Jim's eyes widened in surprise. Would the return of his eyesight be painful? Bones certainly hadn't said anything about it. Then again, he also hadn't seemed as confident as he usually was when diagnosing Spock's predicament. Maybe he should call him...

Jim moved over to the communications console before Spock called out to him. "I do not need assistance from the doctor."

Jim looked back at him, wondering if he had gotten his vision back so quickly. But upon second look, he could tell that he was still blind. "What's wrong, then?" he asked, coming back to stand next to him.

"It is nothing I cannot handle," Spock said, ignoring Jim's question. Jim sighed and crossed his arms in slight exasperation.

"I didn't ask if you could handle it, I asked what was wrong," Jim reiterated, hoping that he got his point across. All of the need to fight had left him, leaving a tired man its wake.

"For the past four days, thirteen hours, and ten minutes I have seen nothing but dark," Spock elaborated. "However, the dark has been replaced with a bright light. I believe my eyes are having a more trouble making the transition than the doctor had anticipated." He paused for a moment and looked down to his hands. "It has led to an unpleasant sensation in my head."

Also known as a headache.

Jim sighed and shook his head. "Well, that's still good," he reasoned. "Your eyesight will probably be back soon." He looked around and realized that they were still in the hallway. "We should get you back to your room. I need to head to the bridge," he said and gently grabbed his arm to pull him in the direction of his quarters. He was mildly shocked when Spock didn't attempt to protest. The shock quickly gave way to worry. Spock's headache must be terrible if he wasn't resisting being led somewhere. Jim made a mental note to stop at the sickbay and pick up something for the headache. He had to inform Bones about the change in Spock's eyes anyway.

He could do with some form of pain relief too. It was too early in the day to want to crawl back into bed and sleep the pain away. And for once, Jim found that he didn't even want to blame anyone else for it but himself.

Call it progress.

A.N.
So is it really canon for chocolate to serve as a form of intoxication for Vulcans? That's awesome...and crazy. I never would have expected that. Thanks for the answers guys! In terms of the vampire question, it had nothing to do with this story. Someone had just told me that there were vampires in Star Trek and I was like 'what, really?' so I googled it and couldn't find any proof, minus mentions of a cloud thing. Apparently, that's what they were referring to.

Anyway, thanks for the answers, guys! I appreciate it and feel more knowledgeable already. Thanks for reading this. This chapter will have a supplement that will be up soon from Spock's point of view as I feel like it might be necessary. Might not, but we'll see. I know this chapter might not make much sense now, but hopefully it will.