It's a beautiful winter evening at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and Sakuya, a human maid with short silver hair braided at both side in the front who wears a blue and white maid's outfit, is walking down the quiet corridors, heading toward her mistress' room, since it's about time to wake her up.
She arrives at her mistress' bedroom door, and before entering she makes sure her skirt is straight, her bonnet is centered, then pulls out a mirror from under her chest and makes sure her face looks presentable.
"Perfect" she whispers to herself before hiding the mirror back under her shirt while smiling, ready to knock on the door, but just then, a soft gust enters through the open window next to the door, making an unsettling whooshing sound.
The chief maid is momentarily startled, but quickly composes herself and says "goodness, this window is open in such a cold evening? The useless fairy maids must have not closed it properly."
Closing the window, the human says "there we go" then heads back to her mistress' bedroom door.
She raises her hand then looks left, and then right, smiles, places her knuckle on the door, and a golden washtub knocks her to the ground.
Dizzily, Sakuya gets up, moaning as she tries to keep her balance. She recovers and quickly looks above, but sees nothing. The object that had struck her had vanished as well.
The poor girl sighs and says "it's a little early for these gags. I can tell, it's going to be a long one."
She notices a smudge on her skirt, then realizes her entire outfit is crumpled and dirty, and turns pale as she yelps, then runs away to her room, shouting "NO~! I have to change, QUICK!"
Right after Sakuya leaves the corridor, Remilia somberly peeks out of her door. White powder falls all over her, but she's still so sleepy she doesn't even notice.
She covers her mouth as she yawns then enters her room again, somberly saying "mmm~ just 5 more minutes..."
The door silently closes, and shortly after, the chief maid arrives to the door again, wearing the same outfit as before, only clean and tidy. She is quick to notice the white powder on the floor.
Her face turns a little red as she scowls and says "oy! This wasn't here just now."
In the blink of an eye, Sakuya now holds a broom and a scoop, and in another blink, the floor is clean and Sakuya prepares to, once more, enter her mistress' bedroom.
She knocks softly on the door, then jumps back. Nothing happens. She smiles and thinks it's safe, so she calmly enters her mistress' bedroom.
Upon entering, like always, the human maid softly says "good evening my lady~. It's time to wake up."
Remilia sits up on the bed, rubs her eyes, then yawns and says "good evening Sakuya... I was hoping to sleep a little longer, but it seems I can't..."
The human girl looks at her mistress with a smile on her face, and then realizes Remilia is as white as a ghost.
She immediately screams "MY LADY~!"
Remilia jumps from her bed and crashes on her face on the ground.
Sakuya grabs Remilia by her arms and cries "no~ my lady is DEAD~! How could I let this HAPPEN~!? My lady, I'm so sorry~!"
While the desperate maid continues to cry, the vampire mistress tries to get her attention, quickly losing her patience.
Remilia takes a sudden breath of air, then shouts at the top of her lungs "SAKUYA, THAT'S ENOUGH ALREADY!"
The force of Remilia's shout blows the white powder away from herself and on to Sakuya, who coughs, calms down, coughs again and says "oh my... It's just flour."
The silver-haired girl places her mistress on the floor, where a creature made entirely of water gobbles her up.
Remilia screams at the top of her lungs "Sakuya~! Sakuya~~! KILL THIS THING! KYAH~~~!"
Sakuya smiles and says "I'm so glad my lady is safe!"
At the dining room, Remilia enjoys tea and dessert after a nice meal of scrambled eggs with blood sauce and rare meats.
Patchouli, a girl with long purple hair who wears a lilac robe over her pajamas, sits on the right side of the vampire with her head full of lumps and looking at said winged girl with contempt, while Koakuma, a girl with red hair in a sexy office suits who has wings on her head and back, places an ice bag on the lumps.
Flandre, the blonde little sister in red and white clothes, somberly walks up to the left side of the table, and immediately after sitting she groggily says "good morning everyone..."
Sakuya places her meal in front of her and says "it's 'good evening' young mistress."
Flandre casually takes a bit of scrambled eggs on her shop-sticks and says "yeah, yeah..." She yawns "good evening."
The rest of the meal time is quiet, even after Meiling, the scarlet-haired gate guard in green Chinese clothes, arrives while complaining about the harsh cold weather outside.
The silent meal is quickly interrupted by a blast coming from Patchouli's library.
Remilia glares at said magician, who gets nervous and quickly says "don't look at me; I'm not doing any more experiments." Koakuma adds "besides, we are all here, right?"
There is another blast and a small rumble. The purple-haired cutie sighs, rubs her forehead, then angrily says "Marisa~!"
She gets up from the table and as she floats down to her basement Sakuya asks "need assistance?"
Patchouli casually says "it's alright. Koakuma and I will deal with the rat ourselves."
The little devil bows and hurries to her mistress's side, and then Sakuya looks at Remilia, who sighs and calmly says "don't worry; she can take care of it."
Not even a minute passes by when Patchouli and Koakuma run back to the dinner table with their clothes in tatters, torn in various places, their faces filled with terror, and their eyes tremble along with their bodies.
They run under the table, and then Sakuya worriedly asks "lady Patchouli, Koa? What happened?"
The two librarians nervously peek their heads under the table's cloth and Patchouli says "it's horrible... it's just horrible!" Koakuma whimpers "I never knew something so small could be so dangerous!"
Remilia strikes the table with her fist and says "you are RESIDENTS of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and I will NOT allow you to behave like cowards, now GET out of there!"
Reluctant, Patchouli and Koakuma come out of hiding, then Remilia says "Sakuya will go with you this time."
The chief maid bows her head and says "understood." She takes a step away from the demanding vamprie, then falls through the floor.
Remilia opens her eyes wide and stretches her mouth in surprise as she gets up and looks at the seemingly solid floor. She bends down and asks "Sakuya? Are you there?"
From behind Sakuya asks "what are you looking for, my lady?"
The cute vampire yelps and jumps, falling through the seemingly solid floor.
Sakuya sweats and shouts "my lady!" then Flandre runs next to the magical hole and shouts "this looks like fun" and immediately jumps in with a "weeee~!"
The chief maid kneels on the floor and pats the apparent hole, however she finds nothing.
Her eyes hide under her hair as she sweats and says "oh my."
Flandre falls on her bedroom bed and disappointedly says "aww, what a joy kill."
Remilia is to her left, screaming her head off as she is gobbled up once more by a water creature.
The adorable blonde gasps and shouts "Jumy~! Where have you been?", and then the creature spits Remilia out, takes the shape of a pup, then runs to Flandre, licking her face and making her giggle.
Remilia stares at her little sister while trembling, sweating, and with her eyes hiding under a shadow.
Remilia walks by one of the many corridors of the mansion while staring at the ceiling for no reason, and notices a very old-looking and broken piece of wood.
She frowns while staring at it for some time, then quickly says "Sakuya, bring the ladder!"
In an instant, the chief maid stands next to the mistress, holding a very tall ladder, and places it just under the rotten piece of wood, then says "I'm sorry my lady. I'll take care of this myself right away."
Looking proud, Remilia closes her eyes, places both arms on her waist and says "Sakuya, you make your mistress proud."
Just as Remilia finishes speaking, Sakuya yelps, followed by a disturbing loud cracking sound.
The vampire's charisma-face twists with surprise, then she slowly looks up and notices a large hole on the ceiling.
From the floor above Sakuya shouts "I'm ok~! It seems I fell through the roof."
Remilia's enter body stiffens as she shouts "how the hell did you do that!?"
Remilia stands in her room, crossing her arms and tapping her left foot on the floor while looking impatiently at the top of her cabinet.
Sakuya enters the room and asks "did you call for me, my lady?"
The vampire expels her breath and says "finally!" There's a beautiful chirp that progresses to a song, and then the seemingly little girl points at the source on the top of her cabinet and says "that pretty bird is annoying. Get it out!"
The chief maid bows and says "immediately, my lady." and in the blink of an eye, she has a small sparrow on her hands.
She presents it to her mistress and while smiling she says "I'll be taking this little guy outside now."
Remilia rushes closer, hurriedly saying "wait, wait! I wanna pet it!"
Sakuya smiles, bends down, then says "certainly." The cute vampire then rubs the little bird's head lightly and says "uu~ so soft" and giggles cutely.
Her silver-haired maid smiles widely and says "he's adorable, isn't he?"
From outside the room, the girl's voices can be clearly heard, and the mistress asks "hey... what's he doing?" to which her maid replies "my, this little one sure is feisty."
There's a long pause, then a sudden crash, followed by Remilia and Sakuya's screaming.
The little girl cries "waa-ha-ha~! Sakuya, save me!"
The maid shouts "kyah~ He's got my arms!"
There's another loud crash and many angry chirps, and then Remilia screams "Sakuya~!" and then Sakuya screams back "RUN MY LADY!"
The two girls burst out of the room with their clothes torn, dirty and full of feathers.
They shut the door tightly and step away, trying to catch their breaths, but then from inside the little night sparrow strikes the door and almost breaks it down from the hinges, so the girls bar the door with their bodies, then Sakuya exclaims "who the hell taught martial arts to that little monster!?"
Remilia exclaims "screw that! Who taught it the value of jewelry!?"
Outside the gate, on the cold winter night, Meiling practices her martial arts while explaining to herself how she does every move, and at the very moment, on the trees around her, the little youkai birds watch unblinking, with bright glints in their little eyes.
Meiling enters the mansion, saying to herself "that was a nice session. Now a nice bath, then I can go to sleep."
Flandre casually walks to Meiling and stares at her while she stretches. The gate guard notices her tiny crowd and asks "oh, young mistress. Is everything alright?"
Flandre smiles and says "there's something in one-sama's room. They need you."
The two ladies arrive to Remilia's room, where said vampire and her chief maid continue to push back against the door as the little sparrow continues to try and break it down while chirping angrily from within.
Meiling raises an eyebrow and asks "what's going on here?"
Sakuya quickly replies "Meiling, this is your area of expertise. There's a monster in there and it knows martial arts."
Remilia shouts "quit jabbering and get! it! OUT OF THERE!"
The redhead cracks her fists and with a confident look on her face she says "better stand back, then. I'll take care of it."
The vampire and her maid back away from the door and the confident martial artist quickly enters the room, closing the door behind her shortly after.
From inside Meiling is heard saying "what? It's just a cute little sparrow. Hello there little guy~" and then Sakuya shouts "Don't be fooled!"
There's a loud crash and the sexy guard screams "Hya~! Why you sneaky little monster! That was LOW! Take THIS! Hya! Hoo~ HAH!"
Smacking sounds echo all around the corridor and all through the mansion itself.
From behind Flandre, sounding annoyed, Patchouli asks "what's with all the noise? It's impossible to read with such a racket!"
From inside there's another loud crash followed by Meiling's "jaooo~", quickly followed by another loud crash, and then Sakuya says "lady Patchouli. There's a dangerous monster inside the mistress' room. Meiling's dealing with it as we speak."
Hong screams before the librarian is able to reply, causing the silver-haired maid to worry and shout "Meiling! I'm coming!"
Sakuya opens the door and finds Meiling with her arms raised above her head and looking terrorized.
The little night sparrow clings on the neck of her shirt and is placing it's right claw right below the connection between her jaw and neck.
Meiling whimpers "d-don't... Th-that's a vital point!"
Patchouli peeks inside and exclaims "crap! That's the monster form before!" The little bird chirps angrily, then Meiling and Sakuya are tossed outside of the room, both falling on the floor.
Remilia shouts "what the heck happened!?" and then there is a loud chirp and the sound of a spell card being activated; and that's when Patchouli screams "HIT THE FLOOR!" then jumps on the floor beside Flandre, both holding their heads.
Remilia nervously looks around, then asks "what, what!? What's happening!?" She looks inside her room, notices a small sun inside, and she points at it and asks "hey Patchy, isn't that your Solar Flare spell?"
The vampire's scream is heard all the way to Cirno's house. The little fairy springs up from her bed and somberly says "hey~! Keep quiet over there."
Remilia's screaming stops, so she drops back on her bed and immediately falls asleep again.
Inside the now dimly lit room, Remilia and Sakuya start to clean up the mess left by the rabid karate night sparrow, and while said maid occasionally stops time and finishes some repairs in what seems like an instant, the dangerous but cute vampire grumbles to herself while dusting the debris off of her bed.
Sakuya looks both concerned and worried for her mistress and says "cheer up, my lady. It was just a plastic ring."
Remilia grumbles some more, then says "yes, I know, but you remember the trouble we had to go through to have that gap hag pop those treat boxes over here."
The silver-haired girl sighs and says "you're right. Those cereal boxes were very tasty, weren't they?"
The mistress smiles and tries to reply, but her cabinet starts moving around and making a loud sound that comes from inside.
Sakuya and Remilia embrace one another and the mistress trembles while saying "Sa-Sa-Sa-Sakuya... That bird left... r-right?"
The silver-haired maid gulps and says "Y-y-yes! I saw it flying toward the open window in Meiling's room."
The cabinet jumps violently, making the two girls even more nervous, and then Sakuya sweats, gulps, and says "I'm checking it out!"
Remilia lets go of her lovely maid, trembling and sweating, then says "b-b-be careful!"
Said girl grabs the cabinet's dual doors, gulps, then says "here I go!"
"WAIT!" shouts the cute vampire as she runs to the left of the cabinet and says "if that bird is there, it's best if we get him together."
Sakuya nods, smiles, then says "thank you so much for your concern, my lady!" and then she readies herself to open the doors, as Remilia counts for her "one... t-two... THREE!"
The chief maid opens the doors and Remilia springs out of the cabinet, crying "Sakuya you IDIOT! Do you know how long I've been stuck in there!? You mean maid, how long were you going to WAIT!? I even KNOCKED on the doors!"
Sakuya looks to the left of the cabinet, but her mistress isn't there, amd then looks at her crying mistress and asks "my la... but my lady, weren't you here with me just now!? You were standing to the left! How could you be in there if you where there!?"
Remilia cries "now you're making excuses!? I'm taking maid points off your score. WAAAH~~!"
The vampire girl runs away from her room, crying and shouting "Patchy~! Patchy, where are you~!?"
The confused maid drops on her knees, sweating while staring at the cabinet and softly knocking on her own head with her right fist.
It's midnight, and Remilia has decided to exit the mansion and fly around outside to calm down, while, Sakuya finishes cleaning and repairing everything inside her mistress' room.
After exiting the room she says "I better start preparing my lady's meal. It's almost lunch time."
Most of the lights in the corridor are now either off or dim, but Sakuya is used to this and makes her way through it, with her footsteps echoing all over the mansion.
It's so silent, it's almost eerie, but the maid takes this moment of silence to relax.
She comes across Flandre, who smiles and immeidately asks "Sakuya, have you seen onee-sama or Jumy around?"
The cute maid smiles and says "I haven't seen Jumy, but the mistress is outside, exercising her wings."
The adorable blonde slumps and says "aww. I'm lonely. Wanna play?"
Sakuya flinches and says "err, I'm going to cook lunch now, so why don't you ask Meiling?"
Flandre looks down to her feet, frustrated and disappointed, then says "but she's sleeping."
The chief maid chuckles and says "nonsense. I'm sure she'll play with you. Why don't you run along now and I'll summon you when lunch's ready?"
Flandre waves her wings and arms slowly and sounding very disappointed she says "oh, alright..." and so she runs along, away from Sakuya, who swipes the sweat off of her forehead and says "managed that alright."
She continues her way through the corridor, unaware that Remilia is crawling on the ceiling, stalking her, bearing her teeth while her eyes glow red.
The maid slows down and predatory vampire drops from the ceiling and shouts "GAH! I'm gonna eat you~!"
Sakuya trips on a carpet lump and Remilia flies right over her, landing on the water monster that immediately gobbles her up and makes her spin around in its stomach.
The poor vampire girl tries to scream with all her might, but the watery creature's body muffles her voice.
The creature scurries away with Remilia in its belly while Sakuya slowly gets up, saying "ow, ow, ow, ow. That hurt."
She then gets up and dusts herself, then says "so glad nobody saw that."
Sakuya arrive to her mistress' room, knocks on the door, and then says "my lady, lunch is almost ready!"
From inside Remilia shouts "Sakuya~ The cabinet is making weird sounds again!"
The maid gulps and sweats and she thinks of just running away, but that would disgrace her as a maid.
She takes a deep breath and opens the door, blowing some blood from her nose when she finds Remilia covering herself up with her bed-sheets while peeking with her large, glassy, worried-looking eyes toward the cabinet.
Sakuya wipes the blood off her nose and then says "allow me to take care of the cabinet for you, my lady!"
The cute vampire jumps from her bed and shouts "oh no, this time I'm helping!"
She walks up to the cabinet's left side and says "I'll open the left door and you open the right one. Got it!?"
Moved by this gesture, Sakuya smiles and says "my lady, you are most kind!"
After readying themselves, Remilia counts "alright... one... two... THREE!" and then they pull open the cabinet doors and spring out from inside the cabinet, crying, sobbing and embracing each other tightly while trembling in fear.
Sakuya cries and sobs "we-we're out, my lady. We're finally out of there!"
Remilia cries "Sa-Sakuya... thank you so much. I... I wouldn't have lasted a day without you!"
The maid replies "don't say such things, my lady! I only led those hunters away. You did all the work!"
The vampire calms down a bit and says "Sa-Sakuya, remember. Not a WORD to the others!"
The chief maid replies with a sob "my... my lips are sealed, my lady!"
Remilia walks down the basement corridor, thinking of visiting Patchouli's library to pass the time.
There is a sudden chirp and she opens her eyes wide for a moment, then she turns around very suddenly, bearing her claws and ready to strike at anything that might move.
She clenches her teeth, then shouts "you rotten night sparrow. I'm going to GET you!"
There's another chirp, but she's unable to tell where it's coming from, so she decides to prepare her spell card and declares "Divine Spear - Spear of the Gungnir!"
Remilia looks around with spear on hand, uncertain of where the chirping is coming from.
She walks further in and reaches the library's door, but before opening it she looks to where she came from, and then looks further ahead into the corridor.
She sighs and closes her eyes, and after opening them again she immediately sees the rabid karate night sparrow resting on one of her most comfortable chairs, glaring back at the vampire mistress, who raises her spear above her head.
The sparrow squawks, lifts its right claw, and then flips the middle clawed finger.
Remilia's eyes burn with fire when the taunt works, and then she angrily shouts "you meatless chicken, you'll PAY FOR THAT!"
Inside the library, Patchouli is quietly sitting in front of her desk, reading a single book; a magazine from the outside world.
There are screams and loud explosions coming from outside the surely disturb her, so she slams the magazine on the desk and angrily says "honestly, how am I ever supposed to read with Remilia screaming her head off like that all night!?"
The library's door burst open and Remilia flies inside with terror in her eyes; flying as fast as her wings can take her.
Behind her, the rabid karate night sparrow has her Spear of Gungnir on its left claw and is breaking off pieces and firing them at Remilia with its right.
The scared vampire shouts "Patchy~! Do something! Stop that damned bird!"
The night sparrow chirps angrily while chasing Remilia, matching her speed and tossing more pieces of her own spear at her.
The magician sighs irritably, flies up to meet the two intruders and pulls out a spell card, however, the two flying creatures zip past her too quickly so she can't aim at all.
Patchouli sighs again and says "Koa, try and slow them do-..."
A large golden washtub falls on the purple-haired girl's head, knocking her out of the air with a quick "mukyu!"
Koakuma peeks her head from above from where Patchouli was, looks around with a mischievous smile on her face, then flies up again, ignoring the crying Remilia, who continues to fly around, trying to escape the rabid bird.
It's dawn now, but Remilia is too shaken to go to bed, so Sakuya has brought a relaxing story from the library, and sits on her mistress' bedside.
The elder Scarlet nervously asks "Sakuya... a-are you sure about this?"
In a soothing tone of voice, Sakuya says "of course, my lady. You've had a very rough night and you need your rest."
Remilia gulps while trembling, then nods and says "you-you're right... Let me just get comfortable and you can..."
She turns around to fluff her pillows, then Sakuya yelps, and there's a loud crunching sound from the ceiling.
The poor vampire doesn't even want to turn around, but she forces herself to do so, and doing so makes her eyes hide behind a light shadow as she looks to the ceiling, where Sakuya shouts back "whoops; it seems I fell through the roof again."
Remilia sweats and trembles while still sitting on her bed with her eyes darkened by that shadow.
It's morning and Sakuya is opening the room to her mistress, finding Remilia on her sleeping gown, clinging on to the wall above her bed and looking at the cabinet once more.
The moment the adorably frightened vampire spots her maid, she darts off the wall and straight on to that silver-haired girl.
She looks at Sakuya with her face full of tears, her cheeks red and puffy, and looking just like a frightened child.
The chief maid compares Remilia with Budou and Chen, then her nose fires jet-streams of blood, saying "guh! My lady is much cuter than that!"
Remilia ignores the blood being sprayed on to her and cries "Sakuya~ that cabinet is moving again!"
Sakuya flinches, her nose stops bleeding, and she nervously says "my lady, if we open that we're going to be sorry!"
Remilia whimpers "but it's keeping me awake~! I want to sleep, Sakuya~"
The chief maid thinks for a moment, snaps her fingers, then exclaims "a-HA! I got it!"
She drags Meiling on her sleeping robe all the way to Remilia's bedroom without saying a word to her, then places the half-awake gate guard in front of the cabinet and says "the cabinet is making noises. Meiling, please open the doors."
The gorgeous redhead somberly stares back at Sakuya, and then looks to the cabinet.
She grabs the cabinet doors, pull them open, and Flandre bursts out of the cabinet, falling on her seat on the ground, shouting "Ow~ What the hell? What gives!?"
Meiling fully wakes up and asks "Flan!? What were you doing in there?"
Sakuya exclaims "a-ha! So you've been the one hiding in the mistress' cabinet. You should be ashamed!"
Flandre gets up, rubs her butt, and then says "what are you talking about? I was just test-driving a new flying machine that weird kappa girl build using the blueprints of my own."
Sakuya and Remilia both look curiously at Flandre, who suddenly gasps and exclaims "drat! I left the thing on drive!" and then the mistress asks "is that a bad thing?"
There is a whirring sound from outside that quickly gets louder, then a large oval flying ship; silver in color; crashes into Remilia's bedroom, destroying the wall and the windows.
After the dust settles, Sakuya pulls her head out of the debris, cought out loud, and then quickly asks "is everyone ok!?"
Remilia pops her head from under her bed, while Meiling pushes a large chunk of wood from her back, revealing Flandre safely under her.
The mistress shouts "why is this happening to my mansion, DAMMIT!? Sakuya, I DEMAND and explanation for this!"
There is a moment of silence, interrupted by a ticking sound, and then Remilia says "oi, Sakuya, you should check that watch of yours. It's really loud."
The silver-haired maid casually says "that's not mine."
The blonde little sister face palms and says "now I remember... The ship is nuclear powered. That ticking is the booster installed in it."
Everyone in the room open their eyes wide and stretch their mouths in surprise while staring at Flandre.
The little sister shrugs and says "I was driving just fine before you guys interrupted me."
A massive explosion completely evaporates Remilia's room and sends everyone in the room flying sky high.
With their clothes burned, torn and tattered, they all forcefully fly up to the sky, and then stop in mid air.
Sakuya sighs and says "it's a good thing we're all safe."
Meiling and Flandre nod, then the redhead says "well, I'm hungry. I'm gonna get some breakfast."
Remilia is trapped inside the belly of the watery monster, screaming her lungs out, yet the others seem to not notice her at all as she falls back to the unforgiving snowy ground while trapped in it.
It's mid-day and Meiling stands in front of the gates as usual, while people from the village work on restoring Remilia's room.
Kyo's voice can be heard all the way to the gate, shouting "but I'm not even IN this story! Why am I working here!?"
Luna's voice is heard replying in a sweet tone "because we are getting paid... now shut up~ or I'll have to get angry~!"
Kyo's voice is hear replying in a very nervous tone "whatever you say, honey..."
To Meiling's left, on the pile of burnable garbage, lies Remilia's cabinet.
It starts to jump around and make many bumping sounds from inside, making the gate guard sweat bullets; fright and curiosity take over her.
She wants to know what's in there, but she's afraid of what might come out.\, so she tries to ignore the cabinet, but it just bumps and jumps more furiously.
Meiling sighs angrily and says to herself "fine! You wanna play little box, then let's play!"
She rushes to the cabinet, grabs the two doors and pulls them open.
Meiling bursts from inside the cabinet wearing an aquamarine swimsuit, followed by Flandre, who wears a frilly red swimsuit, then Sakuya, who wears an elegant-looking dark-blue swimsuit, followed by Remilia, who wears a light pink frilly two piece swimsuit, followed by Patchouli who wears a surprisingly revealing, skin-tight purple swimsuit with a light violet transparent jacket and a matching sarong on top of it, and last comes Koakuma, wearing a two piece black swimsuit with a pink rose design on the right bosom.
They all look refreshed and happy, and then the gorgeous gate guard comments "wow, those head-hunters sure know how to party!"
Sakuya replies "I agree. We figured them wrong, didn't we, my lady?"
Remilia smiles and happily says "yeah. They just wanted to invite us to their party after all."
Patchouli's face turns a little green, and while holding her mouth she says "oh... I think I had too much to drink."
Koakuma sweats and smiles, patting her mistress on the back and saying "come on lady Patchouli, let's go get you some anti-acids."
As they walk back inside, Flandre says "sis, maybe you shouldn't throw that cabinet out."
Remilia continues to smile and her face shines as she says "I guess you're right. Maybe I should..." Her face changes from relaxed to angry in a second, then spreads her wings, her arms and her legs, then waves them all as she angrily shouts "wait, what the HELL just happened here!?"
Remilia now sleeps in Sakuya's room while her room is being restored, and said maid doesn't mind one bit as she's cuddling with her mistress while sound asleep with a smile on her face and some blood on her nose.
Sakuya stars to moan loudly and wakes her mistress up. The vampire's face turns blue when she realizes she's cuddling with her maid.
The silver-haired girl continues to moan incoherently, however Remilia panics when Sakuya, among the moaning, says "my lady is my wife, you~!"
The vampire manages to escapes Sakuya's embrace and now exits the room as quietly as possible.
The usually quiet corridor is now filled with the voices of the villagers working on her room, however Remilia's sharp senses pick up a frightening familiar sound.
She hisses as she bares her claws and readies herself offensively, and then shouts "you're going DOWN!"
The rabid karate night sparrow stands on the carpet a few feet in front of Remilia, glaring at the vampire with determination in its little black eyes.
They eye each other for a moment, then the night sparrow pulls down on the lower lid of its eye to taunt her, then lunges face-first at that vampire, who lunges forward at the same time, bearing her claws and ready to kill.
There is great commotion; the sound of objects breaking all over the mansion wake Sakuya up, who can be heard shouting from the gate "that thing is awake!? I thought it was a NIGHT sparrow!"
Remilia shouts "I'm gonna change its fate, THEN we can have a FAT SPARROW FOR DINNER!"
There's another crash and the mistress' battle scream. Meiling sweats on her bed, thinking whether or not to go and help.
Remilia suddenly scream "GIVE ME BACK MY UNDERWEAR!"
Sakuya yelps, then shouts "I'm ok~! It seems I fell through the roof!"
Inside the corridor, Remilia and the night sparrow stand next to each other while looking at the hole on the ceiling with disbelief in their eyes and a sweat drop on the left side of their heads.
The sparrow pulls Remilia's bloomers from under its wing and calmly; in a very elegant and masculine voice he says "I-I'm sorry, but this is just too easy... Call me later, ok?"
Chirping, the sparrow flies away while Remilia stares on with her mouth open, her eyes hiding under a shadow, and strands of hair springing from all around her head.
From the floor above Sakuya asks "oh my, is that one of the villagers? She sounds handsome."
It's noon, and Meiling is looking tired and bored while holding an umbrella with her left hand.
She sighs and asks "my lady, are you sure you wouldn't rather be on a bed...? Inside the mansion?"
Remilia's eyes are red and puffy, her eyelids are dark, the skin under her eyes is swollen, and she feels as though she could rip even Reimu in half out of pure frustration.
She looks at Meiling with a most annoyed flat gaze, grabs the gatekeeper by her shirt, pulls their faces together, then sounding tired and angry she says "hold the damned umbrella quietly and let me SLEEP!"
She lets go of Meiling, who rapidly stands straight and gulps as cold sweat runs through her face, and so she quietly holds the umbrella.
The cabinet starts jumping again, this time with such force that it jumps all the way to where the gate guard and her mistress are.
There is a flapping sound, and when Meiling looks to her left, Remilia is long gone.
From a nearby tree the vampire says "Me-Me-Meiling, I ORDER you to destroy that thing this instant!"
The Chinese-themed redhead scowls and frowns, then says "my lady, I'm getting to the bottom of this!"
Building up her courage, Meiling walks up to the cabinet, and without hesitation she opens the doors.
Reimu, a black-haired girl dressed in a red and while shrine maiden's outfit with detached sleeves, pops out of the cabinet with a bored and lazy expression on her face as she holds Remilia by the back of her shirt.
She drops the poor vampire to the ground, where Jumy the water monster gobbles her up and spins her inside its stomach.
The shrine maiden then looks at Meiling with those lazy, bored eyes, then says "keep her away, will you?"
Reimu gets back inside the cabinet, and right after the doors close, the cabinet consumes itself, vanishing from sight.
The gate guard casually walks to her screaming mistress, pulls her out of the monster's belly, and then asks "my lady, weren't you on that tree just now?"
Remilia starts to sob, then bawls uncontrollably, crying twin waterfalls while rubbing her eyes with her fists.
Meiling panics for a moment, but quickly gives Remilia a hug and rubs her back, saying "it's ok, my lady. Let it all out."
She continues to shush the poor vampire, trying to comfort her as she takes her back inside the mansion, while Flandre peeks her head from one of the farthest bushes, then gasps and exclaims "JUMY~! Where have you been!? I've been looking all over for you!"
The water monster takes the shape of a puppy once more, then jumps on Flandre, licking her face and making her giggle.
It's evening, and Remilia is finally sound asleep inside the safety of Meiling's room, sniffling occasionally.
Outside the mansion there is a light snowstorm, but even in this cold and somewhat dangerous storm, Sakuya lurks around the back of the mansion, looking around suspiciously.
She approaches one of the few trees that reside inside the mansion walls and knocks on it three times.
Aya and the rabid karate night sparrow rest on one of the tree branches and said tengu reporter asks "you get the goods?"
Sakuya asks "you get what I asked for?"
The crow girl replies "this wasn't easy to get" and tosses a small bag to Sakuya, who tosses a yellow envelope at Aya, saying "well, these weren't easy to get either. But they're worth it."
The night sparrow chirps angrily, then the maid says "I didn't forget about you."
From under her skirt, she pulls a silver plate covered with a silver dome.
She pulls the dome off and reveals a well-done piece of meat, which the night sparrow immediately grabs with its tiny claws, and while flying away with it he contently eats it.
Aya smirks mischievously and says "for the right price, even you would sell your master."
Sakuya winks and says "I'll make it up to her with this. There is enough here to visit Makai AND the new Kappa Resort. Trust me; she'll forget all~ about yesterday."
The tengu and the maid chuckle, then Aya asks "hey, shouldn't you be waking her up by now?"
Sakuya smiles and says "no. She's too exhausted. Besides, if I wake her up now she might blast me in a fright."
The two girls laugh for a moment, and then the reporter says "oh, these pictures are in high definition. Now I'm sure this was worth the money. But how did you manage such great close-ups?"
On her hand, Aya holds various pictures of Remilia crying, shouting, screaming, falling, spinning, and floating inside the water monster.
The treacherous Sakuya winks, places her index finger on the side of her nose, and then smiles.
Aya smiles back, then flies away with shiny glints in her eyes.
The End
Characters, spell cards and scenario belong to ZUN -Team Shanghai Alice-
Budou, Kyo and Luna were created by Willie G.R.
FEB 12 2010 (Updated on JUN 16 2014)
Written by
Willie G.R.
A/N:
First of all know that Remilia Scarlet is my no.1 favorite Touhou character. I just love her charisma breaks too! I know, I know, I was a little too evil... well, VERY evil to her here. And Sakuya too. Hmm... That maid's dangerous. I mean, she got a few hits herself, but she's the one behind all these mishaps! Wow, talk about being evil! But she did it for a good cause. She's taking her mistress on a well-earned vacation to Makai and the kappa's new resort. Wow, won't Nitori be sorry she built it!
I wonder, though. There's this artist who's made a LOT of Remilia-charisma-break mangas. I'm sorry, but I don't know whether this artist is he or she, but the avatar for the self-inserts is a girl... So she must be a she, right? Anyway, the idea of Sakuya taking these pictures came from one of the strips he/she made, where Sakuya sells pictures of her mistress' charisma breaks for large sums of money. However, the rest is truly just me and my incredibly random mind. Oh, that's right. The artist's name. Well, in Danbooru he/she is called "Shino (Ponjiyuusu)". I wonder what this artist might say of this EVIL work I have done...? Oh well, I hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll see you on my next work.
Oh, by the way, I'm still working on some notes and timings for my next Sukima, AND I'm taking my time re-editing the first Sukima I made. Anyway, again, hope you enjoyed reading. See you on my next story.