Disclaimer: … meh, I don't feel like writing it. Screw the lawyers.
Well, welcome to oneshot number 3 everyone! But, before I begin with the weirdness, I'd just like to say that I have another fic in the planning stages at the moment- the details are at the bottom, tell me what you all think when ya get there ( I know it's a rather shameless plug, but ask me if I care)!
Well, anyways, let the randomness begin!
Number 3- Negi gets Really Stinking Plastered
…Uh, yeah, I think the title speaks for itself.
11111
The Narutaki twins, infamous pranksters of Mahora! The duo at the moment was sneaking into a teachers' conference to see what they could pull on their beloved child teacher, Negi. To this end, they brought quite a lot of equipment… including several 'alcohol pills.' Considering the title, it shouldn't take a genius to figure out what will happen with those….
That being said, as they snuck into the room, unnoticed (they really had to thank Kaede for the ninja training later), they noticed that Negi had a glass with some juice beside him on the table where the various teachers were conversing.
Now, let's see… alcohol pills plus glass of juice equals… yeah. Fuka placed several pills into the drink before she and her sister snuck back out.
"… Are you sure about this, neechan?" asked Fumika.
"Don't worry about it, sis! It'll be fun!" And she was right… after all, I'm fairly certain that you all will be enjoying yourselves (by the way, if you die laughing, it wasn't me).
…Well… LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
1111 Later 1111
It was nighttime. The walkways around the school were mostly deserted, the majority of the students having gone to bed for the night. As it would happen, however, the alcohol pills that had been slipped into Negi's juice had begun to take effect. As a result…
"(hic) hehehe…(hic)" Negi said as he stumbled around the walkways drunkenly, not having the slightest clue as to where he was going. Hell, for all he knew at the moment (which was next to nothing), he had been transported to the Grand Jury of Living Socks of Planet Weird while naked.
"Why hello there, child." Said what appeared to be a talking walrus.
"(hic)…oh, helloz, sir… (hic)… whoz might youz be?" Oh yeah, and did I mention that he was beginning to hallucinate, too? Yeah, that might be important.
"Me? I am…" the hallucinatory Walrus began, "THE GREAT XYZPLSTEK, MIGHTY WALRUS GOD OF ALL WHO LIVE! BOW BEFORE ME, SNIVELLING MORTAL!"
"…huh?" slurred Negi, probably not even understanding a single word the illusion had said.
"… Okay, dude, you know you're wasted when you can't even understand your own hallucinations. Well, see ya kid. I have to meet my friend. He's an exploding penguin!" said Xyzplstek as he sprouted butterfly wings and flew away.
"TO INFINITY, AND BEYOOOOOND!" He shouted as he flew.
"(hic)… huh?"
11111
After some more stumbling around, Negi had managed… to stay just as lost as before. Even worse, he began to hallucinate again. He naturally didn't realize this, being as drunk as he was. As a result, he thought that the flock of flying pigs he saw flying in the air above him were real.
"Oink! Oink! Oink!" the flock of swine chorused.
Negi, as drunk as he was, somehow still managed to make out the words on a sign one of the flying porkchops held in its hoof (how it did that in the first place is beyond me…)
The sign read, "KONOSETSU 4EVA!" And after that pig flew by, another one holding another sign came into Negi's field of distorted vision.
This sign read, "BUGS BUNNY FOR PRESIDENT 2012, DOC!" And after that…
A third pig had a sign that read "ARE YOU WEIRDED OUT YET?"
And with that the last of the pigs flew by.
"(hic)…I's wantz ah porkchup now…(hic)" Negi slurred, not even really realizing what the hell just happened as he stumbled off somewhere else.
11111
Negi, after a while (a long, long, loooong while), had managed to find his way to an area near his, Asuna, and Konoka's room. After which he plopped down against a wall and tried to gather his thoughts. It didn't work too well. And then,
"Hey Negi-bozu. What's up?" asked Asuna.
"Asuna-sanz (hic) iz that youz?"
"No, actually, I'm just a hallucination brought on by the fact that you are incredibly wasted to the point that you may or may not have some brain damage." Said the illusory Asuna.
"Oh… Ohkays (hic)" Negi replied to the illusion.
"By the way, in case you're wondering, the real Asuna's coming down the hall looking for you now. That being said, I'm off to the lesbian orgy that Illusory Class 3-A is having. I'm hoping to get it in good with illusory Ayaka. See ya!" and illusion Asuna ran off. No more than 5 seconds later,
"OHMIGAWD! NEGI, WHAT HAPPENED?" demanded the real Asuna, who had been quite worried about Negi's whereabouts (though probably wouldn't admit it even under threat of torture), and now was even more worried due to Negi's rather drunken state.
"Oh, heyz (hic) Asuna-sanz! Didn't youz just go ta a (hic) lezbianz orgy?"
"Wait, what?" Asuna thought, "...Must've been hallucinating, the brat." She sighed in annoyance.
"I think I have an idea of how this happened, and there'll DEFINITELY be hell to pay, but first let's get you to bed." And so she carried him off.
11111
Now having put Negi to bed, Asuna set off to the task of looking for the culprit of Negi's condition and beating the crap out of them. She was pretty sure Negi didn't get HIMSELF drunk, after all. And so, her goal in mind, she began glaring at me…
… Wait, what?
"I know you're the one behind all this, Zdood…" Asuna growled, cracking her knuckles menacingly. "After all, you're the one who wrote the story… The Narutakis were just pawns in your game."
"Um, wait a sec! Can't we talk about-" I began.
"SHUT UP AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN! ADEAT!"
"OH CRAP! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE! NOT THE- AAAAAAAAAH!"
CRACK! BZZZT! BEEEP!
… Sorry, we are currently having technical difficulties. Please wait while this matter is resolved.
11111
… YES! I'M ALIVE!... Just barely. As I write this, I am in a hospital bed. You'll pay for this, Asuna Kagurazaka….
Well, anyway, hope you enjoyed the oneshot! Please review!
…Oh yeah, I mentioned a story I was going to shamelessly plug at the end of this, right? You know, from back at the beginning?
Well, here's the plug. Tell me what you guys think! (I'll probably still write it eventually anyway, but I want some feedback.)
11111
Omake: Story in the Works
I have, in its planning stages, the first ever Slayers x Negima! Crossover! The title will be Mahou Sensei Lina Inverse, but I don't plan on revealing much of the plot yet. It will primarily be Humor/Adventure (the humor won't be quite to the extremes of these oneshots, obviously, but hopefully still enjoyable), with some Romance thrown in.
…Speaking of that, the pairings? Either hetero, yuri, or both. Expect KonoSetsu to be included, and I've even got plans for a Pervy (!) Setsuna (expect much lols).
On another note, there will be a few OCs, but I'll do what I can to make them interesting. They won't be overpowered, though, don't worry.
With all that said, here's a teaser trailer.
11111
Omake Part 2: Teaser Trailer
Unknown voice: "We all know about the four worlds created by the Lord of Nightmares. And if there are those four, isn't it possible that there are more worlds out there? And isn't it possible that the great Flare Dragon God Cephied would be smart and powerful enough to send some fragments of our Dark Lord Shabranigdo to these other worlds, to prevent his revival at full power? I am Umbra the Mazoku, and this is my theory…."
Umbra: "YOU FOOL! YOU'VE TAMPERED WITH THE GATE!"
Lina's voice: "What the- Where am I?"
"I'm Lina Inverse, and I'm your new PE instructor!"
"DRAGOOOON… SLAVE!"
BOOOOM!
"There IS a fragment of Shabranigdo on this world, and I WILL find it! So swears I, Umbra, Master of Shadows!"
"Well, this is an interesting class, isn't it, kid?"
"Yes, Lina-neechan, I suppose it is. And this is shaping up to be an interesting year."
"… I'd say that's an understatement, Negi-bozu."
Coming soon to a fanfiction site near you…
Mahou Sensei Lina Inverse!
"Read it, or I'll REALLY start some trouble!"
"Lina-neechan, should you really be threatening the readers?"
11111
Well, there's the preview. And the oneshot. And, now that they're both over…
REVIEW, PLZ! XD