A/N:I just want to take this moment to thank everyone that sent me ideas for the slash. I really appreciate it. I'm going to try to get to all of your suggestions, try to work on them and get them up here. But like I said, my muse, Epislon, is a deuche. A big one. I even went so far as to try merging all of the ideas you guys left for me. That one was a mess. (Read through the last few reviews and I think you'll see what I'm talking about). This one was sent to me by julliette. This is going to probably have a sequel, but I'm not going to say anymore than that. :3
LYRICAL INSPIRATION/SONG USED: "There for you" by Flyleaf
xxFuturistico: To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how I come up with most of this stuff myself. The thing about it is that sometimes something someone says or something I hear or see sparks...something. A lot of times it appears as just a motion clip, like a movie. Unfortunately the clip I'm seeing is usually from the middle of the film. -_-' But I'm glad you enjoy the stories. :D
julliette: I loved writing "Shut Me Up" to be honest. And the funniest thing about it is that my best friend and I were listening to the song in our algebra 2 class last year while we were talking about yaoi and she was like "This is the ultimate Reid/Tyler fuck song". And of course the idea stuck and I had to write it. XD
beginningxofxthexend: I love listening to the song that inspired it, "Fireflies" by Owl City. The first time I heard it, I was standing next to my radio, looking out the window and (ironically) the fireflies started showing up 'cos it was sunset. It was just so gorgeous a sight that I started thinking about how wonderful it would be to share it with someone. Which, of course, reminded me of myfavorite yaoi couple, lol.
TO EVERYONE WHO SUBMITTED AN IDEA TO HELP KEEP THIS SERIES ALIVE: I really appreciate those ideas and several of them I'm still working with. I just want to let you guys know that I'm not going to be showing any favoritism and it's not really first-come-first-serve either. I'm going to keep working with these ideas, though I can't really promise that all of them will become stories, just because my muse is an ultra prick. So, without any further delays, the story:
"Just drop it!" Tyler yelled.
It was another argument. Another round of screaming and yelling. More hurt and scathing words.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know I was carrying the cause of this argument." Reid yelled in response.
"Oh, please. Don't even fucking try to play that game. It might have worked a year ago, but it's not going to work now."
"I still don't know what you're pissed about!"
Tyler bit his lower lip and walked out of the living room. He walked into the kitchen and started to unload the dishwasher. He couldn't deal with Reid at that moment. He didn't want to keep the argument going.
"Are you even going to answer me?" Reid demanded.
Tyler slammed the dishwasher closed without bothering to finish the dishes and walked into the bathroom. Reid followed him in there too.
"You know why I'm pissed. Don't even pretend you don't know what's going on." Tyler hissed.
"I don't know why you're pissed."
"Oh really? You swagger in here smelling like gin and flop down next to me on the couch and the first thing you say to me is, 'You remember Fae McLane? The girl I fucked in freshman year right before I hooked up with you? We went out for drinks. Sorry I didn't come home sooner'. What the fuck is that?" Tyler demanded, whirling to face the blond.
"The explaination of where I was." Reid said flatly.
"You fucking disgust me." Tyler shoved by Reid and into the bedroom they shared. He reached into the top of the closet and pulled down a suitcase. He'd packed it when Reid didn't come home when he usually did. Tyler had hoped that there would be a good excuse, maybe not an argument this time, but he was wrong . There was just more of Reid's emotional retardation and insensitivity.
"What is that?" Reid demanded.
"The fuck does it look like?" Tyler shoved by Reid and headed towards the living room of the apartment they shared.
"Where are you going? Damn it Tyler!" Reid grabbed Tyler's upper arm.
"Fuck off, Reid!" Tyler yelled.
Reid, in shock, released the brunette.
"I'm going away." The younger man said softly.
"For how long?" Reid asked, feeling his chest constricting.
"I'll be back before I need to do laundry." Tyler walked to the door and heard Reid take a few steps after him. "Don't try to follow me, Reid. It's really not a good idea." Tyler whispered before he left.
Reid sank down on the couch. He had really, really fucked up.
Sometimes I'm a selfish fake,
You're always a true friend.
And I don't deserve you,
Cause I'm not there for you,
Please forgive me again.
"Hey, cutie. Mind if I buy you a drink?" The girl had curly auburn hair and warm brown eyes. Her slinky dress left just enough to the imagination and she obviously knew what she had as well as how to use it.
"Sorry, baby. I'm taken." Tyler smiled.
"I'm sure your girl won't mind too much." The girl smirked.
"My lover's no little girl. And you're not my type. I'm hoping you've caught the drift by now, sweetheart."
"He's lucky, whoever he is." The girl sighed. She walked down the bar a little ways and tried chatting up a different guy.
Tyler slowly spun the glass in his hands. The light from the bar was dancing on the perfect cubes of ice in his glass. He saw the light catch something else and he set the glass down on the bar. The ring on his right hand ring finger had caught the light just perfectly. He took the ring off and held it between his forefinger and thumb. The dim light from the bar managed to reflect off of the silver that surrounded the stone. It was gorgeous, really. A simple silver band with an electric blue lapis lazuli stone.
"I like the way the sliver looks better with the stone. I got you the lapis lazuli 'cause I figured you'd need it. It's for emotional stability. I don't mean your'e unstable, but I know I am, and if you're going to be with me, you're going to need all the help you can get with coping. It's also supposed to bring out inner peace, something else you'll need around me."
That's what Reid had told him over a year ago when he'd gotten the ring. It was a lovely gift, one that Reid had really thought through before getting. Tyler waved the bartender over and asked for another raspberry vodka and Sierra Mist. He knew he was probably being a little over dramatic with the whole "leaving Reid" thing, but he couldn't take it anymore. His cell phone rang and he sighed. Whenever Reid called, it would play the Alien Ant Farm version of "Smooth Criminal", which it was currently playing. Tyler looked at the screen and considered answering it, but he refused to give in that easily and simply touched the "ignore" button on his phone.
"You seem to be having a rough time." The bartender mused as he set the drink down in front of the brunette.
"Taking some time out of the relationship." Tyler smiled gently. His phone beeped and Tyler dialed his voice mail.
"Look, Ty, I know you said you wanted your space and I know you're probably not going to believe me when I say this, but I'm sorry. I never meant to push you away.... Look... Tyler... The truth of the matter is... I only mentioned Fae because... Because I wanted you to think there were other people out there looking at me. And I don't mean that the way it sounds! I'm terrified that you're going to wake up one day and realize there's someone else out there for you. So I thought that maybe if I could make you jealous... It might... keep you here. I know it's stupid, but, Baby Boy, it's the truth. I love you."
I wanna be there for you,
Someone you can come to.
Runs deeper than my bones,
I wanna be there for you. (I wanna be there for you)
Reid sifted through Tyler's closet. The boy only had enough clothes for three days. Four at the most if Reid had forgotten to memorize one of Tyler's outfits. He had never meant to hurt his lover, he had just meant to make him jealous enough to stay. And it had backfired. Instead of being jealous enough to stay, he'd been pissed enough to leave.
Reid sat down on the bed and stared blankly at the wall. It was going to be a very long three days. He figured he could alwasy just try calling Tyler every ten minutes until he answered, but that would inevitably piss the brunette off even more and he'd lose his chance to make things right. Reid ran his hands through his hair and fell backwards on to the bed. The apartment was so empty without Tyler. He was always doing something, even if it was just reading a book in the corner. The quiet rustle of the pages made just enough noise to remind Reid that he wasn't really alone in the world. But now that Tyler was God only knew where, he truly felt all alone in the world.
He eventually grew tired of laying there with thoughts so heavy and he got off the bed and walked out of the bedroom. He sat down on the couch and turned on the television. There were more reminders of Tyler in the living room. There were pictures of the bright-eyed beauty (1) on the walls, and Tyler was always telling him to watch more History or Discovery Channel and less SciFi channel. Reid growled in frustration and threw the remote at the wall, not caring about the dent it left. He flopped onto the couch and closed his eyes. There were too many reminders of how bad he'd fucked up. Of how there was a chance he would never drown in those pools of blue-green Tyler had for eyes. There was a chance he'd never again hold his lover in his arms. Reid groaned in frustration tried to give up thinking all together. It didn't work.
Swirling shades of blue,
Slow dancing in your eyes.
The sun kisses the Earth,
And I hush my urge to cry. (Cry)
It was so late it was early when Tyler went back to his hotel room. He hadn't really been drinking, more like sipping and people-watching. Reid hadn't tried calling back again and Tyler gave him a few bonus points for at least leaving him be once his point had been made. Tyler watched the sun start coming up from the window of his posh hotel room and he knew that Reid was awake and watching too.
Tyler remembered a few times when he and Reid had sat up on the balcony of their apartment and watched the sunrise. He remembered once in the early fall when they had stayed up, watching their breath as much as the skies. Reid had kissed him with cold lips that morning, just as the sky started turning rosy. It was like some weird sort of magic, kissing Reid while the sun rose, despite being huddled together so close in an attempt to ward off the cold.
Tyler sighed and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes and he knew the stress with Reid had been affecting his sleep cycles more than he'd originally thought. Of course, he could blame Reid for his sleeplessness, but he could just as easily blame him for comforting him and helping him get bck to sleep after a nightmare or restless thoughts. Tyler was just as lost without Reid as he was with him.
The shower didn't relax him nearly as much as he thought it would. He knew that he wouldn't be getting any sleep. He als oknew that he wasn't in the mood to go out and do anything, but neither was he in the mood to just sit around and wait for the day to pass. He certainly wasn't going to just go back to the bar and sit and drink... Though the more he thought about it, the better it seemed... Tyler shook his head and dispelled the notion. No matter how appealing the idea seemed, drinking wasn't going to solve his problems.
Tyler looked at his phone. There was a part of him that was offended that Reid hadn't tried harder to get in touch with him, but the rest of him knew that the reason Reid hadn't tried more often because he realized his immaturity was driving them apart. In that respect, Tyler was very proud of his lover for having grown up enough to understand what needed to be done. Unfortunately, the longer Tyler thought of Reid, the more he realized there was no way he could possibly stay gone from Reid, especially not until he ran out of clean clothes, even if it was only three days. Tyler chewed on his lower lip and hoped that he wasn't giving in too soon by wanting, so desperately, to see Reid again. His phone started to play a familiar song and Tyler looked at the screen.
I wanna be there for you,
Someone you can come to.
Runs deeper than my bones,
I wanna be there for you (there for you).
"Hello?"
Reid collapsed onto the bed when Tyler actually answered.
"Baby Boy. I know you told me not to call you, but I just had to hear your voice again. It's driving me crazy, the apartment being so quiet." Reid said as he forced a laugh.
"You're not watching TV?"
"Too loud."
"So turn the volume down." Reid could hear the eyeroll in his lover's voice.
"Doesn't matter. It's too garish when it's the only thing in the house that's alive."
"And you're not alive?"
"I'm not with you gone." Reid whispered.
There was a sigh from Tyler's end of the line and Reid knew that Tyler was taking everything he said for more idle chat to win him back. And to be honest, Reid wasn't sure how he was going to convince his lover otherwise.
"I just think we should try to weather these three days out." Tyler said softly.
Reid felt his heart sink and his lungs give up.
"I was kind of hoping you'd come back now. No more waiting." Reid choked on his words.
"Are you sure that's such a good idea, Reid? We just keep getting caught in the same rut."
"And that's my fault, I know. I'm sorry, baby. You know better than anyone that I'm new when it comes to these serious relationships. I don't know how to act around you. I don't know howto keep you here with me, no matter how desperately I want to. I love you so much, Tyler. I just don't know how to show it." Reid said softly.
'Cause I hear your whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful.
You speak the unspeakable through
"I love you too".
"I know you love me, Reid. That's why I hurt when you say those things to me. Because I want to be the only one for you, so desperately. I just... I don't know..." Tyler sighed. He could hear the hurt in Reid's voice.
"I do. I know we can work this out. I know that we can get through this. I know we can. You just have to trust me, Tyler. I won't hurt you again. I promise I won't. Just have a little faith in me, please." Reid begged.
"There's still so much stuff we haven't talked about." Tyler sighed. He wanted to go back to Reid, he desperately did. But there were too many problems with their relationship.
"So let's talk about it in person."
Tyler said nothing for several long minutes.
"Tyler?"
"I'm here. I'm just thinking."
"What's there to think about? No matter what I said in the past, you have to understaid that you're the only boy for me, Ty. I love you. I love you more than anything else on this planet or any other planet out there. I love you more than anything in this existance or the next. I love you."
"I love you too Reid. I'll be home in a few hours." Tyler sighed.
I wanna be there for you,
Someone you can come to.
Runs deeper than my bones.
I wanna be there for you.
"Good. I missed you so much." Reid sighed. He was excited beyond words that Tyler was coming back to him. Thngs were going to be oaky once Tyler was back in the apartment. Then it wouldn't feel so dead and so lonely. Then he could go back to feeling like he wasn't alone in the world.
"I'm gonna hang up so ican repack my clothes and my toothbrush and check out. I'll see you when I get back, oaky?"
"Sure, babe. And don't ever forget that I love you."
"I doubt you'll let me. But that's okay 'cause I love you too. I'll see you soon."
Tyler hung up the phone and tucked it into the pocket of his jeans. It didn't take him long to throw everything back into his suitcase. He'd worry about atness once he got back to the apartment.
He checked out, despite it still being so early in the day and threw everything into the backseat of his Hummer.
I wanna be there for you
And be someone you can come to.
The love runs deeper than my bones.
I wanna be there for you.
Reid had just finished making breakfast when he heard the door open. Tyler dropped his suitcase by the front door and he just looked at Reid standing before him. The air was heavy with everything they hadn't said to eachother and everything they wanted to say to each other. They undrstood each other and Tyler ran to Reid, throwing his arms around the blond and nestling into the familiar embrace.
"I made pancakes." Reid smiled after kissing the top of Tyler's head.
"And all by yourself." Tyler grinned.
"You're the only one for me, Baby Boy. You always have been. I'm yours." Reid whispered.
"And I'm yours." Tyler whispered.
I wanna be there for you...