Don't own any characters.

Chapter Two
Broken is the New Happiness

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone.
-Yellowcard

Dinner at the Camden household was always a family meal. That's why Annie wouldn't serve the food until all five members were present, which is why Ruthie was currently pissed off at her mother. Her father hadn't been home for dinner in months, what was so different from today?

"Because today he said he would try super hard to be home for dinner, Ruthie."

Her mother could believe it all she wants, but Ruthie would not. She was hungry and wanted to eat her dinner quickly so that she could go out with Peter.

"If you keep up this attitude, you're not going to see Peter for a very long time."

And with that Ruthie got up and left, texting Peter to meet her at Pete's Pizza.

"I really don't understand my mother. My dad does not want to eat dinner with us anymore! Why can't she just get that through her head?" Ruthie shouted, full after eating four pieces of pizza.

"Maybe they're trying to work things out. Or maybe she knows something you don't."

"Oh, she definitely knows something I don't. She won't tell me, her own daughter, anything! I'm so tired of it!"

"Maybe it's better that you don't get involved, though. Maybe they don't want to put you in the middle."

"Peter, I swear to God if you say maybe one more time I'll kick you in the middle of your legs where you really don't want me to."

"Noted."

Annie was beyond angry. Not only was she waiting for her husband to return home, but also her 18-year-old daughter who had left without saying where she was going and was not answering her phone calls. Ruthie did not agree with Annie that they should wait for Eric to return home, even though he had promised Annie things would be better. About 20 minutes after Ruthie left, Annie also gave up and served a lonely dinner. She had had enough. She was going to find out what was going on with her husband. Tonight.

"Oh, you're still up."

"Yes, Eric, imagine that. You're not the only one staying up until 4 AM. Care to tell me what you have been doing?"

"Annie, don't start. You know what I was doing. I'm too tired to get into this again."

"You wanna know why you're tired, Eric? Because it's 4:07 IN THE MORNING!"

"I'm not doing this, Annie! We can discuss this in the morning! Right now we are tired and emotional!"

"Oh, no. We are going to discuss this right now. I held up dinner for you tonight. Ruthie left because she was tired of waiting for you. I have no idea where she is right now, Eric, and instead of sitting here waiting and worrying with me, you were somewhere else! I want to know what that place is. I deserve to know what that place is."

"I owe you nothing, Annie. Don't blame me because you lost our daughter! I never asked you to wait to eat with me; you did that all on your own!"

"She left because of you! She's tired of putting her life on hold for you!"

"Ruthie understands that I have to work a little more now because of the new church; why can't you?"

"Just because she has accepted the fact that her father is no longer present in her life doesn't mean she understands!"

Eric was stunned. He knew he had been distanced lately, for obvious reasons, but that didn't mean he didn't love his family, right? He was just trying not to disappoint them. He turned to walk up the stairs when Annie stopped him.

"So, you're just going to go to sleep not knowing where Ruthie is?"

"Ruthie is probably with Peter."

"And what if she's not? What if she's hurt or something, Eric?"

"Stop being such a control freak! Ruthie is fine. She's 18; she can take care of herself!"

"Who are you? You are not the man I married."

"And you are not the woman I married but you don't see me complaining."

"Tell me the truth, Eric. I want the truth. Where have you been these past few months?"

"I have told you multiple times!"

"I don't believe that you've been at church! You have never worked this much, even when you did start the first church. It should be easier this time!"

"It's not, Annie, and you should be able to trust me when I tell you so! I'm your husband!"

"Are you? Because for the past couple of months I have felt like a single mom. I take care of the kids while you're…God knows where!"

"I have told you what I'm doing in a clear and concise manner. I don't know what else you want from me."

"I want the truth! I want my husband to acknowledge his family once in a while!"

"Goodnight, Annie. I will be sleeping in the guest room tonight and we will discuss this in the morning."

Before Annie could follow up the stairs, but to different bedrooms, she heard a noise at the door. She turned to see Ruthie, standing in shock.

"So, nothing's wrong, huh?"

"Everything is fine, Ruthie."

"Really? Because usually when a husband and wife aren't sleeping in the same room, at least in this decade, there's something wrong."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ruthie."

"Okay, so then explain it to me!"

"No, Ruthie! Your father and I are just fine! And if we weren't it would be none of your business! You are my daughter, not my friend!"

"Stop lying to me! I'm not stupid and I'm not a little kid! I can see that you and dad are not okay! And yeah, I am your daughter, which means it is my business! I should be able to know whether or not my parents are happily married or headed toward divorce!"

"Ruth Ann! Do not speak to me that way! I will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it, but as of right now, your father and I are married and staying that way."

"So, you're not happy?"

"We are happy. We are not getting divorced. End of discussion."

"You know what, Mom? The only person happy in this house is the dog. Our so-called family fell apart ten years ago. They left and took any hope of happiness for us with them. Stop pretending everything is okay because no one believes it."

"Go to bed, Ruthie. We'll discuss your punishment for your little outing in the morning."

"Of course we will because that's what we do in this family. We put off talking about the important stuff until morning. We don't argue, we just leave. Whatever, Mom."

Ruthie hated her life because her family was in it. She wanted to just get away from them but knew she couldn't. She swore she would never leave Sam and David alone in this place. She wouldn't let them hurt the way she was hurting.

David and Sam woke up the next morning oblivious to what had occurred the night before. They had learned to sleep through the yelling many years ago, as it was the only way to get any sleep in their house. Ruthie cooked them breakfast before she left for school. The boys sat in silence, confused as to what had happened to cause Ruthie to leave so early. She always made sure to eat with Sam and David and hated leaving them alone with their parents. When their parents finally came down to join them, it almost seemed as if nothing was wrong. Almost.

Sam and David still had no idea what was going on when they arrived home after school to find Ruthie was not there. They knew the time between when Ruthie got home and they got how special mother-daughter bonding time was. Today was also Friday, which meant Lucy and Kevin would be coming over for dinner, an event Ruthie always looked forward to. Sam and David didn't really understand why Ruthie was so attached to Lucy. The pair wasn't really all that close but Ruthie seemed terrified that at any moment, Lucy would leave. They didn't understand that. Lucy would never leave her family.

Ruthie finally came home shortly before Lucy and Kevin arrived. She locked herself in her bedroom and only unlocked it when Lucy went up. Sam and David weren't surprised by this. Lucy was Ruthie's only older sibling so Ruthie really looked up to Lucy. They were, however, surprised by the conversation that went on between them.

"Ruthie, why are you hiding yourself up here? Are you okay?"

"I live in a hellhole; do you really think I'm okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't lie, Lucy. I know you wish you weren't here."

"Ruthie, I'm here now, doesn't that count for something?"

"No."

"What do I have to do, Ruthie? I've been trying so hard to make it up to you but no matter what I try you just won't let it go!"

"I don't know, Lucy. I just don't know."

"I'm sorry you had to do it alone. You're stronger than any of us were."

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It's not fair that you have to do it alone."

"I have Sam and David. They would never leave me alone and I'd never leave them. But, I am glad I have you now."

"I'm sorry you only have me."

"I'm not talking about them."

The young boys could not understand why Ruthie was so bitter toward Lucy. They thought Ruthie looked up to Lucy and that was why they were so attached. What had happened to Ruthie and Lucy that would make Ruthie so untrusting in Lucy? The last thing they heard was the most alarming to them. The girls had been talking about other people, people who were no longer in the Camden's lives.

At dinner, Lucy witnessed Ruthie's concerns. Her parents were distant and barely spoke. Sam and David were oblivious to the fact that anything negative was going on with their parents. They had already forgotten about the conversation they had overheard hours before. Ruthie was stuck in the middle and for that, Lucy felt entirely responsible. She could have stayed. She could have listened to her parents. Instead, they all left and Ruthie had to pick up the pieces by herself. She was alone in this world with no one to depend on. Lucy hated how much Ruthie had gone through at only 18. She hated even more how much Ruthie had gone through at age eight. She had to make this better somehow; it was partially her fault, after all. She searched for Simon's phone number for a week when she finally found it.

When Simon answered, she wasn't expecting the deep voice of her baby brother, who was now a man. She became overwhelmed with all that she had missed in her little brother's life. She choked back tears and asked, "Is this Simon Camden?"

"Um, who is this?"

"It's Lucy. Is it you, Simon?"

"Lucy, why are you calling me? You know you're not supposed to! Mom and Dad will kill you!"

"I need you to come home."

"Why?"

"Ruthie needs you."

"Do you really think she's still there? Come on, you know she bolted once she turned sixteen. Why wouldn't she?"

"She stayed, Simon. She stayed for Sam and David."

"How would you know?"

"I'm home, Simon."

Simon was shocked by his sister's confession. He never expected to hear those words from Lucy of all people.

"We left Ruthie all alone and now things are starting to get much worse."

"Well, I'm sorry, but what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to come home and be her big brother."

"You know I can't, Lucy."

"Come on, you couldn't have done anything worse than the three of us and they kind of accepted me back."

"Why did you even go back?"

"Don't change the subject! At least try, and if Mom and Dad don't accept you then you can stay at my house."

Going home after seven years would not be easy, that Simon knew. If his parents had forgiven Lucy, there was a good chance they would forgive him, too. It was Ruthie he was worried about. The last five words she ever said to him still echoed in his head.

"Mom and Dad, maybe. Ruthie, absolutely not. She hates me."

"You're her big brother, she could never really hate you. Come on, it's almost Christmas, I know you can't be shooting now. You could even stay for Christmas!"

"I don't know about that, Christmas is still two weeks away."

"So? You're a director. You choose when you work."

"I don't think it exactly works like that."

"Sure it does! Come on, Simon. Even just for a few days."

"Fine. No promises, though."

Simon arrived in Glen Oak that Wednesday and he had never been so scared in his entire life. He was even more scared than he was when he left Glen Oak seven years ago at age 16.

Simon Camden was going to be free from his family once and for all. It wasn't that he didn't love his brothers and sisters, it was his parents. He couldn't believe what his parents had done three years earlier. All he had to do was sign the emancipation papers and he would be free.

"Mom, Dad, I have something important to tell you."

"Out with it son, we're listening," came from his father.

"I'm officially emancipated. I sent the papers in today. I already started to pack my things and I hope to be out of here tonight."

"Why?"

"You know why, Mother."

Annie was shocked. She never wanted Simon to leave! Not her baby boy!

"Oh, so you want to be a rebel like your brother and sisters? You know how it ended for them, are you sure you want to go down that road?"

"If it means I get to be far, far away from here, then yes!"

His mother's face flashed with anger before she said, "I clean your clothes, cook your meals and you have the audacity to say you live a horrible life?"

"Yes, Mom, because this family sucks! We're not even a family anymore! I'm so tired of all the arguing and hate and hypocrisy!"

"Hypocrisy? You may be emancipated right now but I am your father and you will not speak to me or your mother that way!"

"Even if it's the truth? You guys preach forgiveness to everyone you talk to yet you can't forgive your own family!"

"I've had enough! Get out of this house and don't bother returning, Simon, because you won't be welcomed."

"That is just fine with me, Dad."

"We're very disappointed in you, Simon."

"Well, Mom, I'm very disappointed in both of you. Congratulations on being the worst parents ever. I'll be out by ten."

Simon was already walking up the stairs before Annie or Eric could say anything. Ruthie had been spying, as always, and froze when she heard what her brother had to say. He was the only one left. She needed him. She ran up the stairs and into Simon's room when she couldn't hold the tears any longer.

"Were you even going to tell me?"

"Of course I was, Ruthie. I was just waiting for the right time."

"You're leaving tonight! I'm pretty sure any day BUT today would be a better time!"

"I didn't know how to tell you!"

"It's only three words, Simon! How hard can it be?"

"I wasn't even sure I would be emancipated! Why would I get you all upset over nothing?"

"If you knew it would upset me, why would you do it?"

"I have to, Ruthie. I'm sorry, but I have to."

"You have to leave your little sister alone with no one to support her? You're all I have left, Simon! I need you more than I need anyone else! Please don't leave me! Please!"

Ruthie couldn't hold the sobs in anymore. She fell to the ground, her face in her hands, pleading for her brother to stay.

"Ruthie…I just…can't. It's too- I don't know how-"

"Stop. I don't need to hear your lame excuses. You're leaving me all alone because you're selfish. That's the only reason."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't be here anymore. You won't be all alone, though, you'll have Sam and David."

"First of all, you're not sorry. Don't lie to me. You want to leave. Youchose to leave. Second of all, Sam and David are only a year old. How will they help me?"

"You'll figure it out somehow. You only have five more years until you can leave, too."

"I would never put Sam and David through this pain. I would never leave them alone with no older sibling to help them through this screwed up family. I'm not you, Simon, and I hope I never am. You wanna leave? Fine. But you're dead to me."

Simon watched his baby sister walk out of his room still sobbing. He was doing the right thing. She would be fine. He was sure of it.

You're dead to me.

You're dead to me.

You're dead to me.

You're dead to me.

The words repeated themselves over and over in his mind as Simon arrived at his childhood home.

I'm not you, Simon, and I hope I never am. You wanna leave? Fine. But you're dead to me.

Simon knew Ruthie had kept her promise never to leave Sam and David. She had been there for them two years longer than she actually had to be. It was those four words he couldn't get off his mind as he drove to his childhood home. Would Ruthie stay true to those words, too?

Eric Camden loved this little restaurant. It was one of their favorites. They had found it when driving away from Glen Oak, and away from anyone who might see. No one could know. He would be ruined. His church was really taking off and he was even opening a second church soon. Reverends aren't supposed to do this. If word got out about this, no one would trust him. If word got out about this, no one would attend his churches. His family has been on a steady decline for the past ten years. He couldn't lose his job, too.

He wasn't sure why he was doing it, especially with the current state of his family. At one time they could have bounced back from something like this, but not now. No, the Camden family was permanently broken. There was no more love, or at least not enough. Maybe that's why he did it; to feel the way he used to feel.

She was so understanding, too. She knew he was married and what was at stake. She didn't care, though, because there was just something about Eric Camden that made him irresistible. Plus, it was fun. Never knowing if they would be caught, especially since his wife had become so insistent on knowing his whereabouts. It was all part of the game. And they were at the church some nights so it wasn't a total lie. Usually though, they went to this little restaurant in a little town far away from their problems in Glen Oak.

Ruthie never thought about Simon. At least, she tried not to. There were some moments when she wished her brother was there. Today was one of them. She had taken a drive to another town to get away from her house and stopped to eat at a little restaurant. That's when she saw it. Her father, Eric Camden, was kissing a woman who was very much not her mother, Annie Camden. She had driven to this little town to escape the drama for a few hours. Who knew this trip would only make it worse?

Now, Ruthie was sitting in her backyard thinking about her dilemma. She couldn't decide which was better: telling her mom, telling someone else, telling her father she knew, or telling no one. Her thoughts were interrupted when a voice entered the backyard. A voice attached to a body she had hoped never to see again.

"You look like you have a million things on your mind."

"I do, so leave me alone."

"Can I help?"

"No. You can go die, though."

But you're dead to me.