I'm sad, which is weird...heros don't get sad, right?
Well thats how i feel sitting in my house all by myself watching the moths swirl around the light on my portch.
England, dead? it couldn't be possible, it was like some kind of rip in reality. Iggy always said he would out live me. He swore it. So whats with this shit...
I never pictured Iggy as the suicidial type, it wasn't really his style.
Or maybe it was...
I've known Iggy all my life, but when i think about it, i don't really know him.
It get mad for feeling sorry for myself, mad enough to through the bottle of beer i was drinking on the sidewalk. As it shatters i hear someone shriek from the shadows.
"Matt?" I know it's him, he's the only guy i know that sounds like a woman when he screams.
"H-hi Al..." He comes up and sit's next too me. His clothes are messy and his eyes are red, Matt was always a cry baby, and i never cried at all. We really were different people..
"So you heard the news" I say with barely any feeling, and i wanna kick myself for it. I wish i could at least soud upset.
"Y-Yeah..." he says weakly. You can at least tell Matt is human and not an empty shell. Like me, if anyone doesn't deserved too die it was me not Iggy.
Iggy...the man who was like my father...why haven't cried yet...
Then i had a thought, something i probably shouldn't have done around Matt.
"I'm wanna die..."
"What!" Matt screamed.
It was too late too say i was just kidding or pretend i didn't mean it. he wouldn't have belived me anyway. Of course i wasn't expecting what Matt said next.
"I-If you want to die....then can we atleast do it together..?"
I think my heart sank, I can't believe I even gave him the idea...
"I....really don't have much left too live for anyway..."
He sounded serious, it scared me a little, but maybe it would be for the best...one less heartless bastard like me, and Matty would get relief. the more i thought about it, the better death sounded.
"Then let's do it," i said
Matt didn't hesitate, He went over to the dark and picked up some glass. He sat down next too me and sliced upward on his wrist. He handed me a piece with his bleeding hand. I took it and put it too my skin. It stung as I sliced my skin and watched the crimson liqud spill down my arm. I bit my lip and Canada noticed. He held my hand, tightly. He shook slightly and after a while i could feel myself going numb.
"Matt...i think...this was a mistake" i said quietly. But I looked over at him, and he wasn't breathing...his eyes were closed and his hand was cold.
I Had my last thoughts on that porch, the feelings I had for Arthur. I knew I'd always loved him, even when I was young. But know I'll never know how he felt about me. Know i understand why I didn't cry. Why I've never cried...because I wanted to keep the sadness out. To keep from feeling all the bad feelings like rejection and depression...It made me feel nothing at all.
But it didn't matte, I was cold like them. Like Matt and Iggy.