Okay, people. This is my first story, but I should get some things across. In this story, Pokemon are just part of nature rather than characters, with a few exceptions. Mario and Dr. Mario are the same person, although Dr. Mario's persona is exhibited more. Young Link and Toon Link are the same person, although I'll only use Toon Link. At some points in the story, I may allude to an advanced technique. It will always be possible, and I'll explain it in the author's notes. Anyway, read and review!

Oh, and if you couldn't guess, I own nothing.

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Destruction's Sweet Symphony

Chapter 1

Murder, Revelation, and Sunglasses

It was morning in Smashville. Most people were sleeping in, but that never stopped one boy. He was short, wore a striped shirt, and had spiky blond hair. His name was Lucas. He was pretty much the only early bird in the entire town of Smashville, mostly because of a quite understandable desire to get to the arcades before every other kid.

So, while Lucas was on his way to the arcade, he passed by an ominous-looking alley. Remembering his health teacher's daily speeches about rapists, Lucas simply walked past. He reached the arcade, only to find that it was closed. In fact, the owner left a note on the door.

Dear Lucas,

The arcade doesn't open until 7:30 AM. It has never opened earlier, it won't today, and it never will in the near future. Get that through your thick head, and we'll have an understanding.

Sincerely,

Mr. Gold

Before Lucas could get offended, he remembered that this happened every day. Every single day. Every morning, he would wake up, go to the arcade, read the exact same damn note for the umpteenth time, and then wander aimlessly for an hour. Lucas sighed. He was in a rut. A rut that had been going on all his life. Figuring that there was nothing else to do, as usual, he wandered aimlessly around town...as usual. He passed by that same alley again. He could feel something...beckoning him.

What is it? Destiny? Magnetism? Curiosity? A telepathic rapist? He thought. Finally giving in to unbearable temptation, he prayed to God that it wasn't some telepathic rapist. He walked down the alley, finding no rapist. Instead, he found a motorcycle. It was a pretty pimped-out motorcycle at that. Wondering why someone would park a motorcycle in some alley, he continued on. He didn't notice the red, gooey stuff near the front wheel.

When Lucas reached the end of the alley, he vomited, and then screamed, and then whipped out a cell phone to dial 911. There was a dead body, a fat, stubby man with a mustache, and an oddly shaped nose. His face was covered in blood, with the forehead crushed, with brains still poking out. Lucas looked back to the bike's reddened wheel, and then at the body, and put two and two together. Face still a blanched white, he realized that he had 911 on the line. He raised the phone up to his ear.

"Hello, 911? M-m-may I please get the Sm-Smash Detective A-agency? It's important..." he said into the speaker, still quivering. His call was put through to the Agency, and after hearing a gruff "Yes?" Lucas simply said, while struggling to remain calm, "My name is Lucas, and I'm here at an alley near the Smashville Arcade..." the poor boy struggled to keep his cool. "W-Wario's d-d-d-dead."

With that, the boy sprinted out of the alley and continued his fit of retching.

A black van zoomed down the streets of Smashville. On its side were the words "Smash Detective Agency". While the police went in with guns blazing, they took a calmer approach. They find out who did it and THEN the police take over. It may seem trivial, but without them, the police would've impulsively killed half of Smashville's population already. The van pulled up by the alley, and almost immediately the doors opened.

Five people came out. The first was a woman in a red cyborg suit, holding a menacing missile cannon. The next was a short Italian man in a doctor's lab coat, stethoscope at the ready. The third was a robot, the words "Robotic Operating Buddy" on its stand. The fourth to come was a black, paper-thin man. Both of those adjectives are quite literal. The last to come was the most menacing of all. He was round, and had long, red shoes. On his face were a pair of black sunglasses. They called him Kirby.

Lucas watched as Kirby began ordering his comrades around in a high pitched voice. The irony of it would've made Lucas laugh if the situation hadn't been so dire.

"Samus, search for suspects. R.O.B., scan for any evidence. Mario, find the cause of death." The three went to their respective duties. Mario was the first to come back.

"Well, his-a forehead is-a crushed, and the front wheel of-a his motorcycle is bloody, so it's-a easy to infer how-a he died." the Italian reported. Kirby nodded.

"Okay. Game and Watch, if Wario has a cell phone on him, call everyone on his contact list and see what they know. R.O.B., any evidence?"

The robot came back. "SIR, THERE IS NO AVAILABLE EVIDENCE TO REPORT, NOT EVEN A FINGERPRINT." Kirby frowned, which Lucas couldn't help but find irresistibly on the pink puffball.

"Really? Nothing? Perhaps it was suicide."

"Impossible. The bike is too far away, and Wario's arms are too stubby." Mario interjected. "Besides, Wario's too megalomaniacal for suicide." As the Italian spoke, Samus returned.

"If it wasn't suicide, and there were no fingerprints, then perhaps it was a psychic." the female growled. When she said this, Lucas began to fear that they would arrest him. Sadly for the blond, Kirby turned to him.

"You. It's Lucas, right?" Lucas nodded in response. "Well, we'll have to take you in as a suspect. I really doubt that you killed Wario, seeing as you were the one who reported it and that you're a kid, but the government will be all over us if we let a possible suspect go. You understand, right?" the puffball calmly inquired. Lucas, still fearful, only nodded. With that, the Smash Detective Agency loaded into the van and departed. Lucas looked around while Kirby escorted him to the van.

On the ground, he saw a red baseball cap.

On the strap was embroidered "NESS".

Okay, this could've come out better. Seriously, I think this fic has the worst-written Lucas ever. But, whatever. Read and Review! The next chapter should come pretty soon.