Time to Consider

Elissa did not feel any less confused the next morning. In fact, she was up all night tossing and turning because she could not find a moment's peace in her mind due to her agitation with Nathaniel. At dawn, she gave up trying to catch her sleep.

She grabbed a green linen dress from her closet and put on her leather boots. She decided to stop by the stables and check on hound master. Recently, one of the females has given birth to a healthy litter of puppies. She figured playing with the animals would be a nice distraction from the humans around her that were giving her so much stress.

Only a few of the guards were up and about this early in the morning. She could smell breakfast cooking from the kitchens. She knew the Howes will most likely be having their morning meal before they left today. She decided to avoid them until they took their leave. She would have to sneak some food from Nan later on.

The stable hands were busy preparing the departure of the Howes and giving the Arl's horses a good brushing. She smiled and waved to the workers who inclined their heads with a quick 'My Lady'. She found the hound master pampering the new mother who was busy feeding her litter of puppies.

"Good morning, my lady. You are up bright and early today." The hound master greeted her.

"I couldn't wait to see if the litter has grown yet." Elissa cooed at the sight of five mischievous little balls of fur.

The man chuckled. "Are you planning on keeping one of these pups as your own?"

"Not until one of them imprints on me…it's only fair to the hound." She crouched down to pet one of the puppies that had wobbled over to her.

One of the servants waved the hound master over. He nodded and waved back. "Beg your pardon, my lady. I will be right back. I need to tend to Arl Howe's pack."

Elissa nodded and went back to playing with the puppies. As she giggled at the litter falling over each other to tug at her skirts, she felt a feeling of nostalgia kick in.

She had been playing with the puppies the first day she had met him. They were both laughing together as the puppies jumped all over, leaving muddy paw prints on the lace dress she had despised.

She wondered how Alistair was faring. It has been a while since she had thought about the quiet boy who lived in the stables at Redcliffe.

Did Arl Eamon send him to the Chantry? She wondered as she scratched a puppy behind it's ears. She remembered sending correspondences after the first few months they had gotten back from Redcliffe, but she has never received any back.

She clearly recalled the promises she had made him make. Did Alistair remember their time together as fondly as she did?

"There's something exceptionally beautiful about a woman who is playing with a litter of puppies."

Elissa jumped at the voice and turned around to see Nathaniel standing behind her.

"Maker, for a man your size you sure know how to sneak up on people." Elissa huffed, dusting her dress off as she got up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. What a nice painting that would've made…the noble lady playing with the hounds." Nathaniel grinned.

There was an awkward silence between them. They were alone inside the stables. Outside she heard distant voices of the servants as they continued to prepare the Arl's horses.

"Are you trying to avoid me, Elissa?" Nathaniel asked pointedly.

The question hit the target at it's center. Elissa cleared her throat. "What? Why would I…?"

"Elissa, I did not confess to you to push you away." Nathaniel murmured quietly, to keep the servants from hearing.

Elissa hesitated. She had been thinking about a reply all night but she has not come to one. She sighed and straightened her shoulders. "Nathaniel…I've been thinking about what we've…discussed…last night."

"And…?"

"And…" Elissa hesitated. "What you have asked of me is not something I can give an answer to so quickly. It will take some time."

Nathaniel nodded and crossed his arms. "I see."

"It's not because I don't care for you, Nathaniel." Elissa quickly said, nervous at his even tone. "It's because I want to give you an honest answer…with honest feelings. But I need to sort this all out. I have loved you as a friend for years…to suddenly be told to make it something more…is difficult. Is that…bad?"

Nathaniel smiled and shook his head. "It is not bad at all."

"I don't want any bad blood between us, Nathaniel." Elissa truthfully said. "I will miss you when you are gone to the Free Marches. I feel awful that I cannot give you a pleasant lie…but I don't believe you would want that yourself."

Nathaniel leaned back on one of the fence posts and gently took Elissa's hand. "You are correct. I don't want anything other than your true love and affection." He paused and looked into her blue eyes. "If it's time you need then you will be getting plenty of it. I will not be back from Free Marches for at least a couple years, that much is certain."

Elissa laughed at his off-hand joke. "Be gone with you. Make our land safe. Win that imaginary war. If you come crawling back here with your tail between your legs, I will giving you a good thrashing."

Nathaniel chuckled at her threat and gazed at her softly. "You are not accepting my proposal?"

Elissa shook her head and tightened her hand on his. "I have not declined it either."

The Howes prepared to leave Cousland castle after breakfast. At the gates, the Teyrn gave Nathaniel an affectionate pat on the back. "Stay safe, son. Make sure to come back alive!"

"No one wishes that more than I." Nathaniel grinned.

Eleanor hugged Nathaniel tightly. "Please take care of yourself. Try to send word to us often."

"I doubt I will get many opportunities for it, but I will try." Nathaniel promised.

He then turned to Elissa, with an expecting smile. "Well now, is there no embrace from the young Lady Cousland?"

Elissa tried to hide her blush and felt the eyes of their parents upon her. She slowly stepped up to Nathaniel and gave him an awkward hug. Nathaniel took it one-step further wrapped his arms around her tightly. She squeaked as he spun her around as he did when they were younger. Delilah and Thomas giggled on the side as Elissa smacked at his shoulders. "Put me down, you idiot! Or else you will die before getting your chance to be a war hero!"

Nathaniel complied and put her back down. He took both her hands in his and kissed them loudly. "I wish you an early birthday, Lady Cousland."

Elissa softened and smiled sadly. "Please be sure to come back safely from Free Marches."

"Only if you will be here waiting for me!" Nathaniel declared. Eleanor let out a small laugh as Elissa crossly swat his hands away and stepped back to glare at him. Nathaniel simply winked at her and then climbed onto the back of his horse.

"Come now, we will take our leave." Arl Howe ordered his family and servants. They immediately stirred at their horses and rode away.

Elissa watched Nathaniel ride away, fervently wishing he would come back alive and well.

"Well now, pup…" Teyrn Cousland placed his hand on her shoulder. "Are you by chance making doe eyes at the Howe boy?"

"Wh-what?!" Elissa sputtered and backed away from her parents. "I was doing no such thing!"

"Oh, Bryce. Don't tease her. She'll just refuse it even more." Eleanor playfully smacked her husband on his arm.

"Absolutely not!" Elissa shook her head angrily. "Please get those ideas out of your head."

"Why not? I approve of the Howe boy. It would be a great match." Bryce held back his laughter as he watched his daughter turn as red as a tomato.

"I'm…I'm going to my room!" Elissa huffed and stormed off while her parents laughed quietly amongst themselves.

She promised herself that as soon as Nathaniel Howe came back from Free Marches, she would give him a good punch in the gut for the embarrassment he had caused for her this day.