His Happiness

Elissa was slowly setting up her tent, feeling the fatigue in her body.

Her situation has gotten dire in the past couple days. The King was dead…Duncan was dead…the Grey Wardens were dead. Teyrn Mac Tir had betrayed his King and abandoned everyone on the battlefield, dooming them to a gruesome death.

She looked over at Alistair who was staring at the camp fire, mechanically dropping firewood into the blaze, one stick at a time. Her hound, as if he could sense Alistair's despair, sat quietly and obediently by his side.

Poor Alistair…she thought sadly. Duncan was literally the only father he had ever known. She understood the anguishing pang of loneliness better than anyone. Her father had also met with a horrible fate back in Highever just a few nights ago.

She glanced over at Morrigan who was setting up her own bedrolls far apart from Elissa and Alistair. Morrigan and her mother Flemeth had rescued them both from meeting an awful death like the others. Elissa was still having difficulty believing that they were rescued out of the goodness of the witch's heart. Morrigan was even ordered by her mother to accompany them to rally allies to fight the oncoming blight.

Although the apostate was extremely anti-social, Elissa had to appreciate Morrigan because she found her honesty refreshing. She would always find a trait like that honorable…unlike Arl Howe who had been concealing his true feelings behind a façade of friendliness for years.

Elissa took out her dagger to use the hilt to hammer down the tent post. When she finished, she paused before she re-sheathed it into her ankle strap. A feeling of nostalgia washed over her as she turned the dagger around in her hand. It was the present that Nathaniel Howe had given to her for her sixteenth birthday…right before he had declared his love and rode off to Free Marches.

She wondered again if Nathaniel knew what his father had done to her family. Was he even alive? She has heard no word from Nathaniel in the past three years he has been gone. Even his own father hasn't mentioned anything related to his oldest son ever since he left.

It was difficult to imagine Nathaniel dead…but then again, she didn't expect her family to die as well. She shook her head to rid her thoughts about Highever. She couldn't afford to be depressed right now. Her parents would not approve of her pining over sad thoughts when there were bigger matters to resolve.

She walked over to the campfire and her dog let out an a small bark of encouragement. She sat next to Alistair who did not look up or acknowledge her approach.

"How are you holding up, Alistair?" Elissa asked, wrapping her arms around her legs.

Alistair sighed and stopped feeding the fire. "To be honest, I'm still in shock. I keep half expecting Duncan to just come walking towards us and saying he's all right and alive."

Elissa nodded. "I understand."

"I know…I know that you would understand this feeling more than anyone." Alistair finally turned to her, his liquid amber eyes in pain. "Is this how you felt when…after Highever fell?"

Elissa placed her chin on her knees. "Yes. It's a terrible bundle of feelings. Losing everything, wishing you could have done more."

Alistair nodded in agreement. "I should have been there with Duncan. He could have escaped if I was there…if only…"

Elissa held up her hand to Alistair's face. "Hush. Stop that thinking at once. You of all people would know that Duncan would not wish your death. He would be upset to hear you say such things."

Alistair dropped his head and Elissa was reminded of the sad lonesome boy in Redcliffe once more. "What are we fighting for then? We've lost everything. We don't have homes to return to."

Elissa then scooted herself next to Alistair and wrapped her arm around his head. She leaned her head against his and gently ran her fingers through his hair. "We haven't lost everything. We have each other, don't we? As long as we're both Grey Wardens, we will always have something to fight for. Saving the world from the blight…that sort of thing."

Alistair finally let out a small laugh at her reply. He took hold of her hand and squeezed it. "Thank you, Elissa. Have I mentioned how grateful I am that you were the Grey Warden recruit Duncan had brought?"

"You haven't, but I'm glad you were the Warden that was part of my joining. I was terrified that I would have to do it alone." Elissa admitted.

"You know, while you were passed out, Duncan had finally gotten the chance to ask me how I knew you." Alistair smiled as he recalled the conversation from the other night.

"Oh? And what did you tell him?"

"I told him the truth. I said you were the Cousland child that had come to Redcliffe, disrupted my life, and after turning my world upside down, you left merrily as you pleased." He drawled.

Elissa reached down to pinch his ear and Alistair winced in pain. "Oh, so that is what you consider the truth do you?!"

They both shared a comfortable laugh and remained silent as they watched the campfire slowly burn down. Morrigan had already gone to sleep in her blankets and Dog was lying down in the dirt, his head upon his huge front paws, staring quietly at his master and her companion.

"I'm…really relieved that you are still alive. I don't think I'd be sane if I lost you again." Alistair said.

"Again?" Elissa asked, turning her head to face him.

He sighed as his brow furrowed. "When you left Redcliffe all those years ago, I came to realize how miserable my life was. When the Arl sent me to the Chantry, I was even more wretched because it meant I would most likely never see you again. You were constantly in my thoughts…was Elissa doing okay, has Elissa gotten herself into any more trouble…did Elissa forget about me."

Alistair paused and then lowered his head into the crook of her neck. "Maker only knows what I have done to deserve having you brought back into my life, but I would not be able to bear losing you and Duncan at the same time."

"You are all I have left in this world. And I am grateful…so grateful…that it is you." He murmured.

Elissa could not will herself to speak. Alistair still had his head on her neck, she felt his breath on her collar. How did she think her lonely boy from Redcliffe had changed? She nuzzled her face into his hair as she did on the day she had left him all those years ago.

I want to be here for him. I don't ever want to leave him feeling abandoned. She fervently thought as she pulled her arms up and embraced his head to her chest. Please Maker, don't let him be alone anymore.

She embraced him close, silently praying to the Maker for the happiness of the man she held in her arms.

To my dear brother Nathaniel,

I hope you are still okay in Free Marches. Father has told me that he had last corresponded with you last month, so I pray this letter finds you well.

I haven't heard any reports on Fergus Cousland, but I have heard rumors that Elissa Cousland had survived the attack on Highever and has joined the ranks of the Grey Wardens. But I fear you must have already heard the news that the Grey Wardens of Ferelden have all been killed at the terrible battle against the darkspawn in Ostagar.

I do not know if Elissa was amongst those who perished that day. I promise I will let you know immediately if I hear anything further.

Maker watch over you,

Your sister,

Delilah

Nathaniel crumpled the paper in his hand and grit his teeth in frustration.

He and the other soldiers were in the forests on the outskirts of the town they were supposedly protecting from an Orlesian attack. A runner from the village had come by and dropped off correspondences and supplies to their troop. Nathaniel had immediately ripped open the newest letter he had received and had slowly slumped to the ground as he read it's words.

Ever since he has gotten the first letter from Delilah several weeks ago, he had been in anguish. He pictured Elissa, his beautiful Elissa, dead in a pool of her own blood. As his sister predicted, his father has not sent him any news about the attack on Highever, but he heard the murmurs from some of the townsfolk about the demise of the Couslands at the hands of the Howes.

There had to have been a good reason why his father attacked Highever, Nathaniel reasoned with himself over and over. His father would not do such a terrible thing unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. For Andraste's sake, his father was one of the first people to congratulate the Teyrn and Teyrna when Elissa was born!

But if what Delilah was saying was true, then Elissa survived the attack on Highever. But only to become a Grey Warden?! A few nights ago, his troop has received the news about the horrible massacre in Ostagar. King Cailan has fallen and now Ferelden was in control by Queen Anora and her father Teyrn Loghain.

The reports say that all the Grey Wardens of Ferelden have all been killed in that battle…and Loghain has made claims that the Grey Wardens are responsible for the King's death.

Wouldn't it just be like Elissa, he thought painfully. To escape death from Highever, only to run headfirst into a bloody massacre at Ostagar.

He wanted to drop the pointless mission in Free Marches. He wanted to run back to Ferelden and confront his father, demanding to know the truth. He wanted to search for Elissa…she could not be dead. She was too stubborn to die!

"Are you all right, Howe?" A fellow soldier tapped him on the shoulder. "You look like you're in pain."

"You have no idea." Nathaniel replied, keeping his eyes on the crumpled up letter in his hands.