Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Neal's POV

He kept running through how he felt when his fingers wrapped around her throat, he had never been one for violence. He hated it, violence accomplished little but part of him felt better when he tightened his grip against Assunta's neck. On his slow walk towards Peter's house he had a lot to think about.

The man he had been months before wasn't the same man he was now. He heaved a heavy sigh and with his good arm tightened the heavy coat against his body, he was shivering despite the nice weather. It wasn't too terribly cold outside so he knew that this shivering was due to losing blood and he wasn't too happy about that either.

He kept trying to tell himself that he had choked her to survive. That he had done everything today to make it, to ensure that he'd survive for his friends no…for this new found family he had. If someone had asked him a few months ago who his family was he'd have named off a single name. Kate.

Since Venice she had been his family, he'd made the conscious choice to bring her in and make her a permanent fixture in his life. And now, she was gone. In her absence he was able to see so much more, to know he was loved by so many more. She was undoubtedly the love of his life, but she hadn't always been good for him. And Venice was a prime example of that.

He felt dizzy and found a lamp post to lean against, with his stomach churning he bent and threw up the breakfast he'd shared with June. June, oh god he had to get her help. Straightening he ran his good hand across his lips wiping off the remaining pieces of nastiness that were pressed there and started to move a bit faster. He had to get to Peter's house, he had to get to safety, had to get help for June, had to get someone to get Assunta. He just had to.

He'd reasoned out that coming to Peter's house was better than going to the FBI, he only really trusted Peter he wasn't so sure about the entire Bureau but he knew that Peter would protect him and if he could get to Peter's house the anklet would alert him. So he knew that the reinforcements would show up, and he knew Assunta would likely be unable to find him. The further from June he was, the better off she was. He hoped at least.

He knew that he was running out of time, he couldn't pretend that he was alright. And he couldn't pretend that all of this wasn't going to affect him. All he had to do was keep walking and keep alive. If he could make it to Peter's then he would be alright, he'd get help, June would get help, and all of this would be over.

Slowly he started to pick out familiar things, the brownstone of the Burke's wasn't too far off. He could do this. He paused before it and took a moment to gaze at the car he was next to, Elizabeth was home. He didn't want her to see him like this but at least he'd get help, at least he could warn her and get her to get Peter. At least…he wouldn't be alone.

He swallowed as he pushed himself to take the stairs, finally finding the door and leaning into it. He felt like he was swimming and it took all the focus he had to knock lightly at the door. He was feeling far dizzier than before when the door opened so he just kind of flopped onto the feet of someone. He didn't have the strength to look at who the feet belonged to, but he figured whoever it was definitely was a better choice than some alternatives.

He was vaguely aware of being touched, of even being talked to but he felt like he was in a fog. He tried to speak, he really did but nothing came from it. He could pick out something, someone was saying something. They sounded worried, and then they yelled something. Why were they so worried? He was just tired, he'd be alright after a short nap.

Then someone was wiping the hair off his forehead, he had to find out who it was that was being so gentle and was worrying so much. It took everything he had to get his eyes open, but he was still so confused that he couldn't look at the person holding him.

"Hey there, you made it Neal. You're here, you just need to hold on alright?" Kate? Could it be her? But no, it didn't sound like her, they sounded gruffer…harder. He shifted his gaze and finally found the form of Peter Burke. What was Peter doing here? He couldn't believe it, it was probably just his mind playing tricks on him again.

"Peter…?" He had to know, he had to ask right? If he didn't he'd never know and then he could just be going nuts in the doorway of Peter's house. And that would not be cool at all.

"Yeah, it's me Neal." It really was Peter? He tried to focus his eyes and squeezed his arm, yes he was real. If he was real then all of this was real and that meant…

"June…help…" He fought to get those words out, he fought so hard to get them out that he felt the numbness of his extremities spread further in his body. He could see the darkness closing in but he had to hold on. He had to know that Peter would help June.

"Jones, I've got Neal but he's talking about June needing help. Roll by her house and check on her. Let me know what you find. I'm waiting for an ambulance for Caffrey and I'll call you at the hospital when I know something."

He nodded the best he could when Peter said that she'd be alright, but he felt that darkness snatching at him roughly and he let out a breath in defense of it. His defense was useless though and he succumbed to the darkness. Part of him could feel hands moving against his chest, something warm against his mouth, but his mind couldn't make sense of it. His senses were dull which was kind of nice considering he couldn't feel the pain anymore.