Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Peter's POV

Peter swallowed hard when Neal nodded, he didn't know why but his stomach dropped and he felt like hurling. But then he realized that it was a reaction to his partner's sudden lack of breathing. In a bit of a panic Peter lowered Neal onto his back and swiftly tipped his head back. He wasn't thinking, he would be happy about that later but in the moment he was just acting. His hands pushed down against Neal's chest in a rhythmic procedure that he had committed to muscle memory through Quantico.

One. Two. Three. His head lowered, hands sliding on either side of Neal's face as he pressed his lips to the young man's and breathed breath into Neal's lungs. One. Two. Three. He could hear the sounds of sirens distantly wailing as he bent down again to breath air into Neal's lungs. Pausing to take a breath he shifted around Neal to check his pulse again, nothing. One. Two. Three.

"Breath Neal! Come on!" He could feel hands on his shoulders but he didn't turn around, he knew they belonged to El. He knew she was trying to calm him down, keep him focused but he only shrugged her off and continued pumping Neal's chest. He could hear shoes and finally a stronger set of hands pulled him back.

By now Peter was out of his own mind, he turned and shoved the hands that had pulled him away from Caffrey. From Neal, his partner…his friend. Rage had filled Peter's eyes and only when his wife stepped in did he calm down enough to realize that the EMTs were working on Neal.

They were hooking up monitors and pulling out paddles, syringes appeared, an iv, things that he couldn't name but had seen at similar crime scenes. Peter had to close his eyes to keep himself under control, he couldn't break down not now not in front of El and not while Neal needed him. With a deep breath Peter swallowed down his anxiety, his fear, his flipping stomach, everything he had going on inside him. He had to swallow it down because he was afraid if he didn't that he'd shatter.

He could feel warm arms wrap around him and he couldn't help but collapsing into her arms, knowing that this was a safe place he just let his head sink into her neck and held her with the same tightness that she held him. In the back ground he could hear the buzzing of the paddles charging, he could feel them moving around without seeing, then the call for clear, and a loud zap. He couldn't look, he couldn't do it, if he looked at the body of Neal then it would be far too real. But, in the roar of everything else he heard one beep it was followed by another.

When he heard the third beep he released his wife and turned gazing down at Neal, his heart was beating even if just barely but it was beating. He let out a breath and his body started into motion again. He could handle this, Neal was alive. The paramedics were moving him to the ambulance and he moved off with them, hoping in the truck without really remembering to say he was going with them. Neal was his partner, his friend, hell he was family.

The ride to the hospital wasn't without the swirl of fear and anxiety that Peter had been feeling since Neal Caffrey crashed onto his feet, but it wasn't anything that Peter couldn't handle. He had hope, no confidence in his friend. The man was strong, he had survived everything with Kate, he'd survived prison, he had survived many close calls, and all of them he had survived by being himself. Peter knew he'd survive this, he couldn't give up now.

They wheeled Neal away into the ER and Peter couldn't help but feel a wave of hopelessness, he couldn't do anything more to help Neal. It was the doctor's turn to help his friend, but he could do his job. Taking a breath he pushed back out the doors and into the cool air. He had to make some phone calls.

"Mozzie?"

"Who is this?"

"Moz, it's the suit. Neal's been hurt and I need your help."

"What do you mean hurt? I told him getting involved with you was a bad idea, the kid never listens always…"

"Moz, he was shot. This is serious, I need you to listen."

"Shot?"

"Yeah Moz, shot. Look, do you know if Neal has any enemies?"

"A handful yeah, why?"

"He was shot when he wasn't with me, I don't know much about it but I doubt it has to do with the case we're working on and with…"

"The Kate mess, yeah hold on let me make a few phone calls to see what's shaking and I'll let you know."

"Thanks Moz."

"I'm not doing it for you."

"I know." The man hung up and Peter sighed again ruffling his hair with one hand, time for the next phone call.

"Jones?"

"Hey boss, we got June. She's pretty banged up but refusing an ambulance, I'm on my way to City now."

"Alright, has she said anything?"

"Yeah, said she had breakfast with Caffrey as normal then went downstairs to do the dishes. While doing them she heard a thumping upstairs then when she was going to investigate Caffrey fell down the stairs. But someone else was there, a woman. I already called the sketch artist and I have two teams canvassing the area to see if anyone matched her description. Apparently she pistol whipped June and that is the last thing she can remember, June was the one that called you but the phone was broken in a struggle."

"Good work Jones, I'll see you here."

With all his phone calls done all he could do was slip back inside and sit, wait for some news. Some tidbit of information about his friend, he didn't want to accept it but it was all he had right now. El stayed behind, Cruz was on her way to his house to deal with that mess so he was confident she was safe even if he desperately wanted her here with him. When he finally found a chair to sit in he felt all the emotions of the day just slam into him, his face found his hands and he just let it all go. He had to, he couldn't hold all those emotions in, it would be too much for him if he did.

He didn't know how long his face had been in his hands when a soft voice hit his ears, "Sir, are you alright?" He blinked and looked up, a nurse…that made sense.

"Fine." She looked a little confused and folded her arms across her chest.

"Are you waiting for a status update?"

"Yes, on a gunshot victim I came in with."

"Friend or family?"

"Both."

"Name, sir?"

"Agent Peter Burke, the victim was FBI Consultant Neal Caffrey. I'm his friend and partner."

"Give me a moment I'll see what I can find out, um sir. Would you like to clean up?" Clean up? Why would he need to…oh Neal's blood. He swallowed and felt his stomach clench hard as he tried not to remember the feel of Neal's blood against his skin.

"Yes."

"Right this way sir." She led him to an employee bathroom and handed him a towel. "If you'd like I could find a scrub shirt for you."

"Thanks, that would be great."

He slipped inside the bathroom and stood staring at the mirror in disbelief for the longest time, that was him? He swallowed but it didn't help and he felt his stomach give way, he barely made it to the toilet before he started throwing up. He was at it for a while, long enough apparently that the nurse had returned. She rapped on the door lightly.

"Sir? Is everything alright in there?"

"One sec." He wiped his mouth and flushed the toilet before opening the door, her face was a mix of concern and intrigue.

"Sir, are you sure you're alright? I think you should get checked out."

"I'm fine, I wasn't hurt. Just…a bad day."

"I'm sure. Here are a few more towels and a scrub shirt. It will probably be the wrong size, but I hope it works. If not let me know. I'll be at the nurses' station."

"Thank you, again."

"No problem sir." She left and Peter let out another breath, he was a royal mess. Closing the door behind him he took to turning the water on full blast and full heat. He'd burn the blood off if he had to.