A/N: You guys are absolutely the best ^^ Thank you!
A Promise of No Promises
"Really, commander…it is not necessary for you to fuss over me like this. I will be fine." Varel insisted.
"Absolutely not." Elissa crossed her arms and watched the herbalist prepare the poultices for the Seneschal. "You saved my life, Varel. I am going to make sure you are taken care of!"
"I still cannot believe that Esmerelle was still loyal to my father." Nathaniel said in disgust. "I wondered why she was always so sickly nice to me. I apologize, Seneschal…I should have seen this coming."
Varel waved off Nathaniel's apology. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I never liked Bann Esmerelle to begin with. She is now one less obstacle to deal with while all of you deal with the darkspawn threat."
"Yes…" Anders mused, assisting the healer with preparing a healing potion. "I guess it is quite silly of us to think that the threat of the oncoming horde was more important than politics…but live and learn, eh?"
Elissa hid her anger the best she could. She could not believe that Bann Esmerelle had attempted to assassinate her in the name of the deceased Arl Howe. Varel had blocked the arrow that had been aimed for her head. She was grateful that her companions have reacted quickly to defend her from the assassins that Esmerelle had brought. Nathaniel himself had shot the arrow that killed her, in the forehead, straight and true.
Nathaniel and Anders stayed with Elissa to make sure that the Seneschal would be properly healed…and to also keep an eye out for any additional traitors that may show up to surprise them. Everyone else had retired to their respective quarters…the past few days of discoveries have been quite taxing on them all.
As the healer began to wrap Varel's wound with bandages, the Seneschal turned to Elissa with a determined gaze. "Commander, do not overly concern yourself with matters of the Keep. Your newest discoveries with the darkspawn is the major priority at the moment. We are fortunate that Sigrun has survived the joining, but you must quickly save Amaranthine from this threat as soon as possible. Please do not hesitate to let us know what needs to be done to assist you."
Elissa bent down to Varel's level with an expression of concern. "Does Vigil's Keep have enough soldiers to protect itself if I am not here?"
Varel nodded in response. "Do not worry, commander. I spoke with the King when he came to visit us that past week. He had promised to send soldiers to assist us in this time of need. I will send a runner out to Denerim tonight…there is no doubt that Amaranthine is now in danger from the darkspawn."
Nathaniel noticed that Elissa had stiffened at the mention of the King but she quickly recovered. "Good, I am glad that the King has offered his help. Request that the King send some of my former comrades as well. They will be quite useful in battle."
"And we wouldn't be?" Anders tried to sound offended to lighten the mood. "I am a bit insulted, commander."
Elissa rewarded Anders' joke with a small smile. "Well now, if I leave you all behind, who will be watching my back? You cannot expect me to take care of this threat on my own, do you?"
"I doubt you wouldn't try." Anders drawled and then turned to Nathaniel. "Isn't that just like our commander? Thinks she can handle everything on her own."
"Yes." Nathaniel murmured and gave Elissa a speculative glance. "It's quite troublesome, isn't it?"
Elissa sighed at them both but turned back to Varel. "Please be sure to make that request. They may not be Grey Wardens, but they are all quite skilled when it comes to defeating our enemy."
"I will make sure to specify your request in my correspondence, My Lady. Now please…" Varel gave a hard look at everyone in his rooms. "I am not a helpless old man who is in need of constant supervision. You all look exhausted tonight…get some much needed rest. You will all need it for the upcoming battle."
Elissa hesitated but then conceded to the Seneschal's persistence. "Then we will retire, Varel. Please send word immediately if something feels amiss."
Varel inclined his head at Elissa, Nathaniel, and Anders. "I thank you for your deep concern. Now please go and get your rest. I will see you off in the morning."
As Elissa lay in bed, she impatiently tossed and turned, waiting for sleep to come. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the broodmother lurking in the shadows, waiting for Amaranthine to put down it's guards. She saw the darkspawn overtaking the country and killing the people she vowed to protect. She saw Esmerelle's traitorous face laughing maniacally along with Rendon Howe's as the people of Ferelden were slain by the horde.
Frustrated at the images in her mind, Elissa angrily threw her pillow against the wall. She sat up in bed, drew her knees in and wrapped her arms around them. As she ground her teeth and slowly rocked herself, she willed her temper cool down. She knew within the next several days, she will have to begin her hunt to end this threat.
Elissa could not help to feel cold and alone in her bedchamber at the keep. It almost made her miss the nights when she and her old companions had camped out almost every night as they traveled around Ferelden. It was difficult to feel lonesome as the entire group set up tents as closely as possible, to fight off any attack that came at them in a moment's notice.
Elissa got up from her bed and retrieved her silk robe that she had hanging by her bedpost. She slipped on her sandals and decided to take a stroll outside to clear her head.
She left her chambers and walked slowly down the corridors of the keep. Only a few torches were kept lit during the twilight hours, which illuminated the walls with a pale glow. As she nodded at the few soldiers on late night watch, she decided to head back up to the rooftop walkway. At least up there, she would be able to get some fresh air and some privacy away from the guards.
Her steps echoed quietly up the stairways as she headed to her destination. She could already feel the refreshing breeze drift in from the open doorway. When she arrived at the walkway, she was surprised to see Nathaniel leaning over the stone railing, gazing down at the sights below. It seemed that Nathaniel was also unable to sleep as well.
He didn't notice that she was standing at the doorway. Elissa felt her inner child emerge and decided to take advantage the opportunity to scare him, just this once. She held her breath and silently crept up behind Nathaniel as his attention was elsewhere. She planned to give him a good unexpected shove from his back to surprise him. This will be for all those times he shocked me, she smiled to herself as she raised her hands.
Just as she was about to push at his back, Nathaniel spun around and grabbed her hands and clicked his tongue. "You can try, Elissa…but as I've told you before, you'll never be as good as me."
"Argh…You have the reflexes of a rabbit. So help me, I'll get you one day, Nathaniel Howe!" Elissa threatened jokingly.
Nathaniel grinned and let her go. "I'm sure you will. May I ask what you are doing up here? Do you have things on your mind again?"
"Yes." Elissa replied and straightened her robe. "I assume you have things on your mind as well?"
"Same problem, but not the same thoughts…most likely." Nathaniel murmured.
Elissa turned to him and smiled. "Oh? What about?"
Nathaniel sighed as he gazed at her. Her blue eyes almost glowed as it reflected the pale moonlight. Her thin silk robe billowed softly with the breeze, revealing her long naked legs. Apparently the Maker enjoyed putting his eyes through such exquisite torture.
He learned a long time ago that being direct with Elissa was the only way he would get anything through her shield of naiveté.
"My head is full and plagued with thoughts of you…" He replied in a half-teasing tone. "I've been trying to think of ways to seduce you but it's very difficult because you are so clueless. If I were not such a gentleman, I would have carried you off to my bed and pleasured you beyond your wildest dreams."
Elissa blinked. She did not see that answer coming at all. "Pleasure me?"
Her expression was so comical that Nathaniel let out a frustrated laugh. "Ah, where have I seen this before. The lovely Elissa Cousland standing before me as I confess my feelings…and she is looking at me as if I just sprung wings on my back and was ready to fly into the skies."
Elissa blushed. "I'm…sorry, Nathaniel. Believe it or not, I am not quite used to the art of innuendo."
He could not help to smile. "Are you going to reject me again, Elissa? I must say I am getting used to it…that is probably not a good sign."
Instead of joking back, Elissa's pause took Nathaniel off guard. She was biting down on her lower lip, which he knew was one of her signs that she was in deep thought. Was it possible that she was seriously considering his request?
She hesitated as she reached for his arm, gently tugging at his shirtsleeve. "As I said, Nathaniel…I am not used to the art of innuendo." Her eyes were shyly cast down. "Back in Amaranthine, you told me you loved me…was that true or were you simply jesting?"
He was touched at her question. He was not accustomed to Elissa suddenly being so timid. Nathaniel placed his fingers beneath her chin and held her face up so he could look into her eyes. "I was telling the truth, Elissa." He replied softly.
Elissa let out a trembling breath. "Nathaniel…I am no longer the pure little girl you left behind at Highever."
He gave her a small smile. "You will always be pure to me, Elissa."
She felt her heart thud loudly against her chest. She had to tell him the truth…it was only fair. She took another deep breath. "I…I still harbor feelings for Alistair."
Nathaniel then lowered his lips onto hers. As his hands slipped about her waist, Elissa's arms had unconsciously wrapped around his neck. As their lips parted, he lowered his voice to keep it from shaking. "I can help you forget."
Their lips met again, frantically and desperately. As her hands deftly unbuttoned his crisp white shirt, he quickly unwrapped her robe to reveal the thin shift she wore under it. As they fell to the ground in a frenzy, Elissa felt Nathaniel's long black hair fall over her face like rain. As she ran her hands over his naked chest, he growled in response and kissed her passionately, his tongue dancing with hers.
Nathaniel's hand slipped under her shift and she bit down on her lip to stifle a cry as he stroked her gently between her thighs. She did not want any of the guards to hear their sounds of passion and catch them in the act. The quiet whimpers that escaped Elissa's mouth were muffled by his hot kisses. Her body reacted to his touch and she twisted in excitement as his fingers caressed her below.
Her reaction was everything he had dreamed about…and more. He wanted to take his time with Elissa, seduce her slowly and sensually…but her writhing form was making it difficult for him to pace himself. Her soft hands were everywhere, leaving trails of heat wherever they touched.
As he pressed forward between her legs, Elissa suddenly broke off their kiss. Nathaniel, half-crazed with passion, found enough discipline to pause. They were face to face, panting heavily from desire.
"No promises, Nathaniel." She begged breathlessly, her eyes glazed with fervor. "This will not change anything between us."
He shook his head. "This will change everything." He whispered in response and kissed her protests into silence.
As he plunged into her, their instincts took over as she wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him in deeper. Elissa moaned as quietly as she could, her hands tightly grasped onto his open white shirt. The stones were now hot against her back as she felt her pleasure peaking with each thrust he gave.
"Nathaniel…" She muffled her cry into his shoulder as she felt the final wave of bliss wash over her. No longer able to hold back, Nathaniel kissed her deeply once more as he finally gave into his own gratifying release.
"Andraste's Mercy…" Elissa let out a low seductive laugh. "If I knew any better, I would think you were trying to get us caught."
Nathaniel was spent and lying on top of her. Even though the hard stone walkway was at her back, his weight was warm and comfortable. He was still nestled inside of her…and made no attempt to move from his position.
Nathaniel smiled and trailed kisses along her neck. She let out a small sigh. "Let them catch us. I have been fantasizing about this moment for years. Nobody can ruin this moment for me."
Elissa laughed softly again. She took Nathaniel's face between her hands and gazed straight into his gray eyes. She gave him a small tentative smile. "I meant what I said before, Nathaniel. No promises. Nothing has changed."
He grinned and ran his thumb across her lips. "And I meant what I said as well…everything has changed, my dear."
Nathaniel suddenly rolled over to his back and pulled Elissa on top of him, still keeping himself inside her warmth. She let out a small squeal in response, which was quickly abated by another passionate kiss. When their lips parted, he leaned forward and whispered into her ear, "I vowed to make you happy, Elissa. I will stand by it. I will help you forget about him."
A sharp pang of guilt and sorrow cut through her like a knife. She still had feelings for Alistair, that much was true, but Nathaniel knew and understood. Both were well aware that one night of passion was not a promise…but Elissa's heart faltered as saw the resolve on his face.
As Nathaniel drew her in for another warm embrace, her thoughts slowly numbed away as he continued to make love to her on the rooftops of Vigil's Keep.