Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Naruto. If I did, there would be a Deidara gaiden. You know you all want to see that.
Chapter 4: Why?
When Alice resided in Wonderland, the only foods that were available for Alice to eat were sweets: cakes, cupcakes, pudding, and, on those rare occasions where the Caterpillar was stoned from the hookah, mushrooms; the likes were always pared with tea. So of course, it was an interesting experience for her see the contents of the Akatsuki fridge.
Interesting, but wholly unappetizing.
The various nourishments that accompanied the refrigerator were strange, even for the girl who lived in Cali-something way back then. She grimaced at the plastic-wrapped bowl filled with something akin to yellow worms drowning in a sort of broth.
That doesn't look good, she thought.
Her eyes wavered to a plate with three triangular-shaped oddities, it's bottom wrapped with a green, sticky-like paper. Alice sighed as she poked one, causing a domino effect to follow.
"I'm not even sure if this is food," She huffed.
As Alice continued rummaging through the fridge, unbeknownst to her, she was being spied on by a pair of Akatsuki members.
"Why the hell did Leader let this little girl join, hm? She can't even do anything!" Deidara crossed his arms in an annoyed manner.
"Well, not anything that we know of just yet," said Sasori. "The brat has skills and, at the very least, some potential if she was able to resist the batch I made."
The blonde peered from behind the wall. He narrowed his eyes as he watched Alice sniff the onigiri before dunking it into a jar full of granulated sugar and shoving it into her mouth.
"Clearly she's stupid," mumbled Deidara.
Sasori glanced at his partner. "Clearly she's from another world."
Deidara rolled his eyes. "Doesn't matter if she's from another world. We don't pity those with a definite lack in common sense. What use is a brat to the Akatsuki anyway?"
"You're one to talk, brat," replied the puppet.
Deidara raised and eyebrow at his partner. "You're strangely soft today, Danna." He nodded his head over to Alice. "Don't tell me it's this girl's doing."
Sasori looked at the Iwa-bomber with his stoic, glassy eyes. "Don't take her so lightly, idiot. Her immunization to lethal poisons enables her to be an indispensable medic nin." He looked back into the kitchen. "Or at the very least, a spy capable of tolerating torture."
Deidara looked at Sasori with an incredulous expression. "How the hell does being immune to poisons make her into a medic nin? A spy, I can understand. But we're already doing the spy work as it is."
"Che. Stupid as always," Sasori clicked, "Being immune to poisons is practically enough. It would be difficult to kill her. If she were to study the work of the medic nins, she'll be a good asset." Sasori turned towards his partner. "We'll have an indestructible healer."
"Do you forget that she's not even a ninja? Books can't teach everything," Deidara mused. In the kitchen, Alice could be heard humming a random tune.
Sasori reached into his cloak and took out a tube of the same purple substance that marred Alice's face a few hours ago and swished the contents. Each oscillating movement was followed by the subtle creaks from his wooden wrist.
"I'll teach her, of course."
Author's Note: It's short, sorry about that D: Please review!